amy brown
@amybrown.xyz
wife, mother, poster
bay area via dayton, ohio
✨ amybrown.xyz ✨
bay area via dayton, ohio
✨ amybrown.xyz ✨
Pinned
amy brown
@amybrown.xyz
· Nov 22
the baby (17 months) raised both her hands and said “WEADY?” so I said “ready!” and then she slapped me in the face
Reposted by amy brown
GEFILTE PHISHING
Just got a phishing email from someone posing as my Rabbi, so that's a fun escalation.
September 15, 2026 at 10:30 PM
GEFILTE PHISHING
Reposted by amy brown
HONGKONGIFICATION OF WALNUT CREEK!!!!!!!
I was really expecting something taller from the headline. silly me.
September 15, 2026 at 3:09 PM
HONGKONGIFICATION OF WALNUT CREEK!!!!!!!
Reposted by amy brown
This is one of the funniest threads I’ve read in ages. At no point does OP break, and the landlords, well,
www.reddit.com/r/Landlord/c...
www.reddit.com/r/Landlord/c...
September 15, 2026 at 11:15 AM
This is one of the funniest threads I’ve read in ages. At no point does OP break, and the landlords, well,
www.reddit.com/r/Landlord/c...
www.reddit.com/r/Landlord/c...
Reposted by amy brown
probably one of the more accurate applications of how the founding fathers viewed the second amendment tbh
America is really beautiful and interesting. For example right now we have two different candidates for national office who are just straight up shooting surveillance cameras www.motherjones.com/politics/202...
Meet the candidates putting bullets in Flock cameras
Some political hopefuls aren't just opposed to surveillance cameras—they're shooting at them.
www.motherjones.com
September 15, 2026 at 4:17 PM
probably one of the more accurate applications of how the founding fathers viewed the second amendment tbh
Reposted by amy brown
HR should let you scream until you pass out on one Teams call per quarter
September 15, 2026 at 5:08 PM
HR should let you scream until you pass out on one Teams call per quarter
the reviews are in from my husband's therapist: she loved my essay. i assume this also gave her helpful context about what my husband is dealing with day to day
it's heeeeeere, you may now read my essay about how i achieved the millennial dream of home ownership and immediately lost my mind on nextdoor. thanks to the @oaklandreviewofbooks.org crew for their ongoing support of me being Like This
How I became the villain of El Cerrito’s Nextdoor
“I had a panic attack. Then I wrote an apology letter.”
www.oaklandreviewofbooks.org
September 15, 2026 at 7:06 PM
the reviews are in from my husband's therapist: she loved my essay. i assume this also gave her helpful context about what my husband is dealing with day to day
Reposted by amy brown
“on the internet nobody knows you’re a dog” actually not true in my experience. in fact many of my colleagues have been shocked to discover i am a human woman
September 15, 2026 at 3:50 PM
“on the internet nobody knows you’re a dog” actually not true in my experience. in fact many of my colleagues have been shocked to discover i am a human woman
Reposted by amy brown
When some parent tells you that they are concerned about their 8 year old at tee ball being able to get a college sports scholarship someday the one and only appropriate response is "What is wrong with you?"
September 14, 2026 at 7:20 PM
When some parent tells you that they are concerned about their 8 year old at tee ball being able to get a college sports scholarship someday the one and only appropriate response is "What is wrong with you?"
Reposted by amy brown
your unwed aunt has arrived for the family vacation, by separate flight. she gives you next year's iphone and spends the trip on the phone verbally assaulting assistants in the brussels office
September 14, 2026 at 11:01 PM
your unwed aunt has arrived for the family vacation, by separate flight. she gives you next year's iphone and spends the trip on the phone verbally assaulting assistants in the brussels office
Reposted by amy brown
Lots of rude comments but each of these items gives her a different stat boost and some of us care about gameplay
September 15, 2026 at 3:01 AM
Lots of rude comments but each of these items gives her a different stat boost and some of us care about gameplay
unfortunately there's a secret portal to hell inside my hotel room and it's already eaten a pair of socks and one of my room keys
September 15, 2026 at 3:04 AM
unfortunately there's a secret portal to hell inside my hotel room and it's already eaten a pair of socks and one of my room keys
Reposted by amy brown
Wow unfollowing now. I was a big fan of his work counting and being a vampire but I had no idea he was in a problematic age gap relationship
May 16, 2026 at 7:53 PM
Wow unfollowing now. I was a big fan of his work counting and being a vampire but I had no idea he was in a problematic age gap relationship
me after they put me in the eternal sunshine machine:
i'm sorry but i don't know who ed sheeran is
September 14, 2026 at 11:29 PM
me after they put me in the eternal sunshine machine:
Reposted by amy brown
singing along to Linkin Park while you wait for your mom to get done in the store
September 14, 2026 at 11:02 PM
singing along to Linkin Park while you wait for your mom to get done in the store
Reposted by amy brown
Less than 4 hours until the #Emmys kick off! You can keep up with all the commentary, winners, joy—and, let's face it, disappointment—via our Emmys Watch feed right here on @bsky.app. Pin it now so you don't miss a thing!
bsky.app/profile/avcl...
bsky.app/profile/avcl...
September 14, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Less than 4 hours until the #Emmys kick off! You can keep up with all the commentary, winners, joy—and, let's face it, disappointment—via our Emmys Watch feed right here on @bsky.app. Pin it now so you don't miss a thing!
bsky.app/profile/avcl...
bsky.app/profile/avcl...
Reposted by amy brown
You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn, etc etc
September 14, 2026 at 6:09 PM
You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn, etc etc
“here’s my nuanced take on what’s going on with macklemore” i start to type when im suddenly taken out by a sniper for my own good
September 14, 2026 at 6:01 PM
“here’s my nuanced take on what’s going on with macklemore” i start to type when im suddenly taken out by a sniper for my own good
Reposted by amy brown
"We get the joke, the audience seems to be saying. We’re in on it! We don’t mind or feel implicated! We didn’t come to this play because we wanted to be uncomfortable!" www.oaklandreviewofbooks.org/comfortable-...
Comfortable masks
Eureka Day opening night at the Contra Costa Civic Theatre in El Cerrito.
www.oaklandreviewofbooks.org
September 14, 2026 at 4:50 PM
"We get the joke, the audience seems to be saying. We’re in on it! We don’t mind or feel implicated! We didn’t come to this play because we wanted to be uncomfortable!" www.oaklandreviewofbooks.org/comfortable-...
what makes it funnier is this is exactly the kind of thing that would happen to jimmy pesto
Remember when a guy had a lucrative & low effort Forever Job on Bob’s Burgers & then he was still so dissatisfied with how poorly he felt America was working for him that he attended the insurrection?
Former 'Bob's Burgers' actor sentenced to 1 year in prison for role in Capitol riot
Jay Johnston expressed regret that he “made it more difficult for the police to do their job" on Jan. 6.
www.npr.org
September 14, 2026 at 4:49 AM
what makes it funnier is this is exactly the kind of thing that would happen to jimmy pesto
it's actually why they made the caramel apple empanada seasonal. too dangerous
CEO of Taco Bell: we’re actually worried that some of our upcoming items could destroy humanity as well
September 14, 2026 at 12:49 AM
it's actually why they made the caramel apple empanada seasonal. too dangerous
the group chat has created a handy reaction image for the next time you're accused of being one of my burner accounts on the local subreddit (this may be a niche use case)
September 14, 2026 at 12:33 AM
the group chat has created a handy reaction image for the next time you're accused of being one of my burner accounts on the local subreddit (this may be a niche use case)
Reposted by amy brown
3-y.o. has interpreted the “lemon” from “easy peasy lemon squeezy” as an all-purpose intensifier.
If something hurts: “Owie”
If something *really* hurts: “Owie owie lemon owie”
If something hurts: “Owie”
If something *really* hurts: “Owie owie lemon owie”
September 13, 2026 at 9:58 PM
3-y.o. has interpreted the “lemon” from “easy peasy lemon squeezy” as an all-purpose intensifier.
If something hurts: “Owie”
If something *really* hurts: “Owie owie lemon owie”
If something hurts: “Owie”
If something *really* hurts: “Owie owie lemon owie”
im just in a really bad place right now
September 13, 2026 at 5:47 PM
im just in a really bad place right now
there’s a children’s vitamin ad in downtown sf along the freeway that reads “wellness compliance for your future lil founder”
September 13, 2026 at 5:29 PM
there’s a children’s vitamin ad in downtown sf along the freeway that reads “wellness compliance for your future lil founder”