Andrew Jobe (he/him)
@andrewljobe.bsky.social
Lame jokes, unoriginal observations, and way too many reposts
July 11, 2026 at 11:47 PM
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
we canal agree this 0-0 Panama game hasn't been the most enjoyable watch, but isthmus be even more frustrating for the players
June 18, 2026 at 12:45 AM
we canal agree this 0-0 Panama game hasn't been the most enjoyable watch, but isthmus be even more frustrating for the players
Panama vs Ghana: when it comes to the Manuel Noriega-Kofi Annan trophy, it just comes down to who wants it more
June 17, 2026 at 11:15 PM
Panama vs Ghana: when it comes to the Manuel Noriega-Kofi Annan trophy, it just comes down to who wants it more
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
The Knicks did it, they found the only person worse than Greg Abbott to attend
June 4, 2026 at 10:10 PM
The Knicks did it, they found the only person worse than Greg Abbott to attend
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
June 19 is when the Knicks could be playing Game 7 and the USMNT has a World Cup game in case you're worried a former NFL running back is about to do something really bad
May 26, 2026 at 2:55 AM
June 19 is when the Knicks could be playing Game 7 and the USMNT has a World Cup game in case you're worried a former NFL running back is about to do something really bad
Ceni Nice
May 26, 2026 at 1:58 AM
Ceni Nice
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
How would you rate the performances of our Medieval costumed entertainers?
☐ Renaissance Great
☐ Renaissance Good
☐ Renaissance Fair
☐ Renaissance Great
☐ Renaissance Good
☐ Renaissance Fair
May 26, 2026 at 1:15 AM
How would you rate the performances of our Medieval costumed entertainers?
☐ Renaissance Great
☐ Renaissance Good
☐ Renaissance Fair
☐ Renaissance Great
☐ Renaissance Good
☐ Renaissance Fair
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
David Ellison: *folds arms skeptically*
Me, doing a PowerPoint: And what's one of the biggest shows of the year? *click to next slide, which shows Tony Dokoupil making out with a hot dude* Let's make CBS Evening News's "rivalry" with ABC and NBC... a little more "heated."
Me, doing a PowerPoint: And what's one of the biggest shows of the year? *click to next slide, which shows Tony Dokoupil making out with a hot dude* Let's make CBS Evening News's "rivalry" with ABC and NBC... a little more "heated."
May 25, 2026 at 11:55 PM
David Ellison: *folds arms skeptically*
Me, doing a PowerPoint: And what's one of the biggest shows of the year? *click to next slide, which shows Tony Dokoupil making out with a hot dude* Let's make CBS Evening News's "rivalry" with ABC and NBC... a little more "heated."
Me, doing a PowerPoint: And what's one of the biggest shows of the year? *click to next slide, which shows Tony Dokoupil making out with a hot dude* Let's make CBS Evening News's "rivalry" with ABC and NBC... a little more "heated."
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
the reporter took her date back to her apartment & they'd been banging for 30 brutal minutes. "christ," she muttered. "when is he going TK?"
August 10, 2014 at 7:04 PM
the reporter took her date back to her apartment & they'd been banging for 30 brutal minutes. "christ," she muttered. "when is he going TK?"
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
EDITOR: great job so far, your holiness. i just have a few notes. i'm not sure we need this paragraph in the middle of page 4.
THE POPE, THE VICAR OF CHRIST: i disagree.
EDITOR: fair enough
THE POPE, THE VICAR OF CHRIST: i disagree.
EDITOR: fair enough
May 25, 2026 at 6:11 PM
EDITOR: great job so far, your holiness. i just have a few notes. i'm not sure we need this paragraph in the middle of page 4.
THE POPE, THE VICAR OF CHRIST: i disagree.
EDITOR: fair enough
THE POPE, THE VICAR OF CHRIST: i disagree.
EDITOR: fair enough
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
My gift to media reporters ahead of whatever makeover comes next at CBS News is to inform you that the building housing “60 Minutes” is also home to an exhibit where you can enjoy a 3-D virtual reality reenactment of the sinking of the Titanic.
May 25, 2026 at 6:06 PM
My gift to media reporters ahead of whatever makeover comes next at CBS News is to inform you that the building housing “60 Minutes” is also home to an exhibit where you can enjoy a 3-D virtual reality reenactment of the sinking of the Titanic.
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
“The CEO of Hooters says the struggling chain plans to re-brand as a family friendly restaurant. Their new name? Saggers. That’s right. Saggers.”
sorry but sometimes I read news and a Norm Macdonald Weekend Update joke just happens in my head
sorry but sometimes I read news and a Norm Macdonald Weekend Update joke just happens in my head
May 25, 2026 at 5:58 PM
“The CEO of Hooters says the struggling chain plans to re-brand as a family friendly restaurant. Their new name? Saggers. That’s right. Saggers.”
sorry but sometimes I read news and a Norm Macdonald Weekend Update joke just happens in my head
sorry but sometimes I read news and a Norm Macdonald Weekend Update joke just happens in my head
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
Maybe the doctors keep examining him because they want to document how exceptional his health is.
Trump is set to visit Walter Reed on Tuesday for his 3rd checkup in 13 months.
Asked about the visit, White House officials touted reports Trump is in "exceptional" health.
Outside physicians said there are legitimate health questions about the nearly 80-year-old president.
Asked about the visit, White House officials touted reports Trump is in "exceptional" health.
Outside physicians said there are legitimate health questions about the nearly 80-year-old president.
Trump faces health questions ahead of another Walter Reed trip
The president trumpets claims that he is in excellent health, but independent physicians say the White House hasn't answered key questions ahead of his third visit in 13 months.
wapo.st
May 25, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Maybe the doctors keep examining him because they want to document how exceptional his health is.
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
that student? herman melville
A friend of mine who was TA’ing for an AmLit course found a copy of Moby Dick a student had left behind. It had only one marginal annotation, around page 100, that simply said “whale is important.”
Love the glimpse into the beautiful mind that notated this used copy of Moby Dick I got
May 25, 2026 at 2:56 PM
that student? herman melville
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
I'm ready to join the McDonald's racing team
May 24, 2026 at 2:44 PM
I'm ready to join the McDonald's racing team
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
Charles Leclerc just welcomed fans to the Stanley Cup playoffs. So I assume this game will end with a Vegas player screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO after a poor decision by management.
May 25, 2026 at 12:06 AM
Charles Leclerc just welcomed fans to the Stanley Cup playoffs. So I assume this game will end with a Vegas player screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO after a poor decision by management.
Windex looks like the most refreshing, fruity, summery cocktail.
What non-edible items look the most delicious?
May 24, 2026 at 10:23 PM
Windex looks like the most refreshing, fruity, summery cocktail.
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
UFO influencer: The ontological shock will be overwhelming
UFO newscaster: No one is ready. The truth will shock you
UFO podcaster: The truth may be too dangerous to release
News headline 2/25/2027: Shocking Report By NASA Reveals Terrifying Truth: Ernie Is Bert's Son
UFO newscaster: No one is ready. The truth will shock you
UFO podcaster: The truth may be too dangerous to release
News headline 2/25/2027: Shocking Report By NASA Reveals Terrifying Truth: Ernie Is Bert's Son
May 24, 2026 at 7:54 PM
UFO influencer: The ontological shock will be overwhelming
UFO newscaster: No one is ready. The truth will shock you
UFO podcaster: The truth may be too dangerous to release
News headline 2/25/2027: Shocking Report By NASA Reveals Terrifying Truth: Ernie Is Bert's Son
UFO newscaster: No one is ready. The truth will shock you
UFO podcaster: The truth may be too dangerous to release
News headline 2/25/2027: Shocking Report By NASA Reveals Terrifying Truth: Ernie Is Bert's Son
Reposted by Andrew Jobe (he/him)
I'm not sure about Red Bull's choice to become Max Verstappen's new race engineer, tbh.
May 24, 2026 at 6:12 PM
I'm not sure about Red Bull's choice to become Max Verstappen's new race engineer, tbh.