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antiguess.bsky.social
antiguess/allie/althea
@antiguess.bsky.social
350 followers 190 following 1.8K posts
Just some weird chick on the internet, I guess.
she/they
Minors DNI
My art tag: #artiguess
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/antiguess

(Banner by @CashmereThot and PFP by @ocarinia)
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antiguess.bsky.social
Thanks to everyone who stopped by and wished me a happy streamerversary! It was nice doing a chill celebration by playing SAGE 2026 demos. Brought it full circle to my first ever stream (which was also game demos).

I'll post links to the games I played demos for below.
September 15, 2026 at 3:41 AM
antiguess.bsky.social
I don't have any special plans tonight, but hey let's hang out and celebrate me having been streaming for a whole year now!

www.twitch.tv/antiguess

#streaming #vtuber #envtuber #pngtuber #streamanniversary
antiguess - Live on Twitch
#NoGenAI | Chilled out impromptu streaming anniversary stream | Rubato Pt. 2 | 18+ !bsky !clip | Streaming special events.
www.twitch.tv
September 15, 2026 at 12:12 AM
antiguess.bsky.social
So apparently I've now been streaming for a whole year.
Awkward that the anniversary date came up during an emotionally wobbly time for me, but maybe I can carve a spoon big enough to do something tonight to celebrate.

Keyword is MAYBE.
an mspaint drawing of my sona giving a bored thumbs up with the text "idgaf" on her white shirt. "Happy 1 Year of streaming i guess sure whatever" is the caption.
September 14, 2026 at 4:08 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
What started as a #vent instead gave way to a more healthy reflection on myself.
I find myself at an impasse with a confusing idea: What if I don't actually hate myself like I thought I did for the past 19 years of my life? You know that one David Foster Wallace quote about self-hatred? The one people love to brandy about like it's some kind of mic-drop moment? If you don't know it, then here it is. For context, it's from the cutting room floor of an interview on ZDF circa 2003. The interviewer had read one of the stories in Wallace's collection "Brief Interviews with Hideous Men" and had found in one of its characters a corollary to her own life. A friend of hers with multiple sclerosis had called her late at night to vent. While she felt good about being able to be a listening ear to her friend, she also felt as though she had let two hours of her life go by because she couldn't assert a boundary for herself. "Imagine, though, if [someone] called you up late at night and talked to you for two hours, and it was mostly apologizing for bothering you. So[...] it’s just one more layer of frosting, which is just something that goes along with kind of a depressive temperament. So there’s a lot of narcissism in self-hatred." Now of course "narcissism" in this case is more a shorthand for egotism (a practice we probably should put to rest, though I won't fault Wallace too much since it's a quote from 23 years ago and the man has been dead for 18 of those years). Still, there is some kernel of truth that self-hatred is borne from some level of egotism; maybe it's not the kind of egotism that comes to mind when one thinks of the shittiest people they've ever known but something at least somewhat adjacent. Something that puts one, instead of on a pedestal, into a stockade so they can figuratively throw tomatoes at their self. With this all in mind, I've found myself wondering if self-hatred is the right term for what I've been feeling. Egotism posits that nothing in a person needs to be changed, whereas self-hatred posits that nothing in a person CAN be changed; those things that a person thinks make them awful are deep gashes incapable of ever healing. For as much as I've derided myself in the past, I never stayed inert the way either aforementioned supposition implies. I loathed myself for how heavy I was in college, but then I changed my eating habits and worked off the weight over time. I loathed myself for getting a degree in a field I could not break into, but then I used my skill sets to make a lateral career move (twice, even). I felt shame for still living with my parents into my twenties, but then I managed to move out on my own. The point is that where there have been obstacles to my own self-worth I have managed to overcome them instead of just staying inert. The complication that arises then is what to make of the obstacles I still grapple with. I'm not so proud that I can't admit low self-esteem has followed me from childhood to the present day. A lot of that low self-esteem, I believe, can be linked back to my childhood troubles of trying to make sense of the world I had been thrust into. Every person that walks into this life struggles to hash out meaning and sense out of it; when you have Autism and ADHD, the struggle just compounds. As a kid I'd see people my age have things that I wanted but couldn't attain, and I couldn't parse what it was that prevented me from having those things. Sophomore year of high school I came to one possible conclusion as to what held me back: it was my own damn fault. When I figured out that my issue of loneliness at the time stemmed from the fact I didn't socialize outside of school, that was my brain's cue to pick apart every single, possibly negative aspect of myself in some blind hope to reverse engineer a solution. Instead of a solution all I found was internalized shame, frustration with myself and uncertainty as to what good people saw in me to begin with. Speaking of shame (since we're on the topic), I've also carried a great shame in my inability to rid myself of these inner demons; I figured most people usually get over their high school baggage and move on with life, yet here I was fighting the same battle I'd been fighting since Dubya was in office. Now whether most people actually do manage to sort out their emotional baggage fully and move on is a whole other story, but regardless the damage never went away for me. Is it proper self-hatred, though? That's the question I'm finding myself faced with now. Do I flagellate myself still over mistakes of mine from years long since past? No. What's done is done. Do I find myself frustrated for "failing" to have the things I envy in other people? Yes absolutely. I'm guilty as fuck of that. Does my envy delude me from the reality that everyone has their own struggles they gotta deal with even if the grass seems greener? Nope. Do I question my own self-worth and the value of anything that I do in this world? Oh like it's going out of style, yes I do, though that's more existentialist than self-hating. Perhaps self-hatred hasn't been the right term. Perhaps a better label for what I've felt would be exhaustive frustration (i.e. being frustrated to the point of mental/emotional exhaustion and losing my fucking mind). I have been consistently frustrated with the motherfucker I gotta share a brain and skinsuit with for almost two fucking decades. I imagine it'd drive most anyone mad. The frustration I've had with myself and the act of being myself isn't unlike having computer problems. You keep getting signs that the machine isn't working, but nothing you've looked up actually works as a fix. You put so much time and energy into trying to figure out what the problem really is only to come up with jack shit. Sometimes you even ask yourself, "Fuck me is it worth it trying to keep fighting this fight?" A computer can at least be replaced when all is said and done; a person less so. Has this whole essay just been a way for me to convince myself I'm not super egotistical or self-absorbed? Yes. That being said, I think reflecting on this almost 2 decades-long battle of mine has at least helped me better understand what's happening with my mind. Am I still hurting over things? Yes. Will I still have issues with self-esteem and self-worth? Yes. At least now I can rule it out as not being true self-hatred, so that's kinda cool.
September 14, 2026 at 4:09 AM
Reposted by antiguess/allie/althea
bageltiger.bsky.social
When I forget I was cursed with instant testicular torsion after vocalizing numbers of memetic significance
April 19, 2026 at 7:50 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
I'm cancelling tonight's stream. Still feel like shit.

Also I'mma be gone for a good chunk of time this coming week so no streams until the 23rd or whatever.

Whatever.
September 13, 2026 at 3:12 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
Hey does anyone have that old mspaint meme drawing of Benrey from Half Life VR AI where it's just his head and him saying "homophobica"? There's also one where he goes "wow first homophobia now FERRETPHOBIA?" or the like.
#hlvrai
September 11, 2026 at 4:44 AM
Reposted by antiguess/allie/althea
candlehearts.bsky.social
Hi hi ya'll!! I have a collab campaign with UwUMarket up right now for some merch of my Vtuber!! ✨

This is just a pledge campaign, so we just need 10 backers to pledge and the goodies will be made~ If this goes well I can make more too! 💕

uwumarket.us/products/can...

#VtuberArt #VSky
Uwumarket x candlehearts collab standee campaign. Features a standee, led lamp, sticker, holo sticker, and a wall scroll
September 10, 2026 at 11:39 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
Bad news, gang. Both Puddi and I are feeling under the weather, so Smash or Pass stream is postponed until a later date.

I'm sorry things keep going awry. 😞
September 10, 2026 at 9:18 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
Well that double dose of insanity is... honestly the kick in the ass I needed tonight. Holy shit that was awesome.

Thanks to @apeofthehour.bsky.social and @callmeames.bsky.social for the raids!

We raided into @salamimeats.bsky.social, who's doing their annual Lamifest:
www.twitch.tv/salamimeats
September 10, 2026 at 3:24 AM
antiguess.bsky.social
Video game. Frog hero. Stream. Watch now. Or don't. Shrug.
www.twitch.tv/antiguess

#streaming #indiegames #vtuber #envtuber #pngtuber
antiguess - Live on Twitch
#NoGenAI | Let's see if streaming will make me feel better | Rubato Pt. 1 | 18+ !bsky !clip | Streaming rubato.
www.twitch.tv
September 9, 2026 at 11:05 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
I hate to change the schedule again (don't worry, I'm not making another image post), but today's stream is cancelled because I feel like dogshit. Also Twilight Princess will be later on Saturday because I forgot I'm taking my car in for maintenance (the car is okay).
September 8, 2026 at 8:27 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
#streamschedule again bc plans were changed out of my control. Sorry about that, y'all...

Smash or Pass is still on Thursday at the same time at least!

#streaming #vtuber #envtuber #pngtuber
Stream schedule for September 8th to the 13th. Tuesday the 8th is Rubato at 7:00 PM EST. Thursday the 10th is Smash or Pass featuring PuddiWhop at 6:30 PM EST. Saturday the 12th is Twilight Princess at 1:00 PM EST. Sunday the 13th is What Remains of Edith Finch at 8 PM EST.
September 8, 2026 at 3:01 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
OOOOH BOY that was a sucker punch of an ending (in more ways than one). Dosa Divas was a ride and I'm so glad I got to share it with y'all.

Anywho we raided @stellostray.com, who's locking-in in Deadlock rn:
www.twitch.tv/stellostray
September 6, 2026 at 8:32 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
Is today the finale of Dosa Divas? Only way to find out!
www.twitch.tv/antiguess

#streaming #indiegames #vtuber #envtuber #pngtuber
antiguess - Live on Twitch
#NoGenAI | You've dosa'd your last diva (maybe) | Dosa Divas Pt. 4 | 18+ !bsky !clip | Streaming dosa divas.
www.twitch.tv
September 6, 2026 at 5:02 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
Maaaaaaan that was such a good stream. I love Letters to Arralla. 😭

Thanks again to my homie Candle for collabing with me!

We raided into @callmeames.bsky.social, who's helping raise money for a friend of theirs!
www.twitch.tv/callmeames
September 5, 2026 at 9:26 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
It's time! The return of the Candle + Allie show!!
Me and @candlehearts.bsky.social are taking a trip to the island of Arralla!

www.twitch.tv/antiguess

#streaming #indiegames #vtuber #envtuber #pngtuber
antiguess - Twitch
Howdy howdy. I'm a paint slime woman on the internet playing retro games, indie games, and basically whatever my heart desires. Sometimes I make art, and sometimes I talk way too much about music. PFP...
www.twitch.tv
September 5, 2026 at 5:00 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
CALLING ALL HOMIES + OOMFIES:
I'm starting to plan Halloween stream activities, and I wanna know who among you would be down to co-commentate on any of these games:
backloggd.com/u/antiguess/...

NOTE: I ain't playin' all these. I'm only gonna play the ones that intrigue folx the most.
'Halloween 2026 Considerations' a list of games by antiguess | Backloggd
Games I might play on stream for Halloween this year All but Harvester are mights instead of wills Who knows what Ill end up going with in the end
backloggd.com
September 4, 2026 at 2:06 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
Been ages since we had one of these... let's be productive! I'm working on something secret for next week. >:)
www.twitch.tv/antiguess

#coworkingstream #streaming #envtuber #pngtuber #vtuber
antiguess - Live on Twitch
#NoGenAI | Been a while since we had one of these | Productivity Stream | 18+ !bsky !clip | Streaming co-working & studying.
www.twitch.tv
September 3, 2026 at 11:02 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
Okay fuck that might actually be Amanita's best yet. It's up there, there's no denying that. I'm glad I got to share such a great game with folx.

Much love to @roadtoduskvt.bsky.social for the raid! <3

We raided into another Art Jam member @asterisks.bsky.social:
www.twitch.tv/asterisks_of...
September 3, 2026 at 2:47 AM
antiguess.bsky.social
Time for another Amanita Design banger. It's time to play Phonopolis! (Which apparently might be their best game yet!!)

www.twitch.tv/antiguess

#indiegames #streaming #envtuber #vtuber #pngtuber

Also I'm scramblin to eat rn LMAO
antiguess - Twitch
Howdy howdy. I'm a paint slime woman on the internet playing retro games, indie games, and basically whatever my heart desires. Sometimes I make art, and sometimes I talk way too much about music. PFP...
www.twitch.tv
September 2, 2026 at 10:31 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
I'm here! 👇
puffilee.com puff 🐇🎀 @puffilee.com · 15d
🔴 live now!

earthbound!! girl idk where the hell i am but im gonna smoke that earthbud

only at
🎀 twitch.tv/puffilee 🎀
a promotional image for my earthbound streams featuring sprites from the game and my pink fat bunny vtuber
September 2, 2026 at 3:54 PM
Reposted by antiguess/allie/althea
antiguess.bsky.social
Late in the day but here's the #streamschedule for the 1st week of September. Reuniting with the homie @candlehearts.bsky.social for one of my favorite games from last year. Also we finish Dosa Divas maybe and productivity on Thursday... maybe.

#streaming #envtuber #pngtuber #vtuber
Stream schedule for September 2nd to the 6th. Wednesday the 2nd is Phonopolis at 6:30 PM EST. Thursday the 3rd is a Productivity Stream at 7:00 PM EST. Saturday the 5th is Letters to Arralla with Candlehearts at 1:00 PM EST. Sunday the 6th is Dosa Divas at 1 PM EST.
August 31, 2026 at 11:22 PM
antiguess.bsky.social
Late in the day but here's the #streamschedule for the 1st week of September. Reuniting with the homie @candlehearts.bsky.social for one of my favorite games from last year. Also we finish Dosa Divas maybe and productivity on Thursday... maybe.

#streaming #envtuber #pngtuber #vtuber
Stream schedule for September 2nd to the 6th. Wednesday the 2nd is Phonopolis at 6:30 PM EST. Thursday the 3rd is a Productivity Stream at 7:00 PM EST. Saturday the 5th is Letters to Arralla with Candlehearts at 1:00 PM EST. Sunday the 6th is Dosa Divas at 1 PM EST.
August 31, 2026 at 11:22 PM
Reposted by antiguess/allie/althea
goodnightfira.bsky.social
forever grateful to have known my little lady. 💚
#firagallery
a painterly illustration of a short haired tabby mix with emerald eyes, surrounded by sprawling shoots of blossoming catnip. three black capped chickadees in flight frame the cat. text in the bottom left reads "September 2012 - August 2026"
August 31, 2026 at 8:16 PM