🐝Bernadette🐝
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beecdn.bsky.social
🐝Bernadette🐝
@beecdn.bsky.social
Mostly harmless.
Also, I had to explain the Honey Monster, the phrase “starter for 10”, and the following interaction:

ROSS KEMP: I thought I was gonna be *holds up brown bread*
HUSBAND: Toast!
ME: No, “dead”.
HUSBAND:
Man's Hilarious Confused Look
ALT: Man's Hilarious Confused Look
static.klipy.com
October 4, 2026 at 11:47 AM
Me and my husband both love Celebrity Traitors but with him being foreign, I didn’t anticipate how hard it would be to explain Ross Kemp to him. I eventually went with “one of our nation’s foremost hard men.” He did really well recognizing most of the others without help.
October 4, 2026 at 10:58 AM
The video screen on the side on the arts centre here is advertising a retrospective of k.d. Lang & it’s her looking gorgeous in a cornfield on a sunny day & then the sun sets & the sky & all the corn goes red. IT’S TOO RED! It looks like poor k.d. is the sole survivor of an Albertan apocalypse.
October 2, 2026 at 4:56 PM
I know it’s only Amazon’s job to sell you the product and nothing else but OH MY GOD GET THOSE GIRLS OFF THE GRAVEL BEFORE THEIR TEACHER LITERALLY MURDERS THEM!!!! Their shoes!!!!! THEIR SHOOOOOOOOES!!!!!!
September 24, 2026 at 5:28 PM
Nooooo…why am I only just hearing that Stephanie Cole has died?! I loved her!
September 24, 2026 at 2:07 PM
Not to be “that guy” but…for Keeley and Roy to set off from Richmond and get stranded in Stockwell, they would have had to go through (or at least very near) Fulham, and therefore Stamford Bridge. How did they overshoot it?! Richmond and Fulham are SO close! Otherwise, great #TedLasso episode!
September 23, 2026 at 11:06 PM
How me and my husband realized we are old. We were SUPER excited for our new curtains to arrive, we put them up as soon as they were delivered, and then spent at least the next 30 minutes staring at them (occasionally saying “it really ties the room together” to each other and giggling.)
September 23, 2026 at 12:31 AM
I don’t know why I’ve had ‘Fergalicious’ stuck in my head ALL DAY, but I’m about to go to bed so I really need my brain to stop it now.
Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia Charlie Stressed
ALT: Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia Charlie Stressed
static.klipy.com
September 22, 2026 at 12:58 AM
The Mandalorian & Grogu is so fun! The puppetry is outstanding and Ludwig Göransson’s score is incredible (as always.) Although honestly, I would watch 90 minutes of Grogu just running and having adventures with the anzellans.
September 20, 2026 at 1:05 AM
My 13-year-old is going to make a fantastic middle-aged dad one day. He didn’t make it to bed last night because he fell asleep on his couch while watching a documentary about D-Day (“and they colourised the footage!”.) If that isn’t a whole middle-aged dad vibe, I don’t know what is.
September 19, 2026 at 3:54 PM
Why do squaddies have to wear camo when they work desk jobs in a city? I work close to the Dept. of National Defence and I see them all the time in their fatigues and berets. They know we can see them, right?! The camouflage doesn’t work outside a Tim Hortons, guys.
September 15, 2026 at 7:42 PM
NAZIS IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
September 8, 2026 at 1:25 AM
To all makers of flat pack furniture: a pox on you and your houses. I just spent the equivalent of a full work day (on a bank holiday, mind you) building a bed that arrived in the tiniest yet heaviest box and trying to decipher such wonderfully detailed instructions as “3. Through the hole.”
Confused Math Meme
ALT: Confused Math Meme
static.klipy.com
September 8, 2026 at 1:09 AM
We finally have a couch!!! It’s much like the Borg in that I have been assimilated into the couch. I am now one with the couch. I cannot leave.

(It’s one of those cloud sectionals and it’s REALLY comfy! I “tested” it after I assembled it today and then woke up an hour later fresh as a daisy.)
September 4, 2026 at 11:35 PM
Hey, so I’m unbelievably stressed right now. Nothing’s gone wrong; it’s just hit me that I move into my “forever home” (*gag*) tomorrow. I REALLY hope it’s ready….there was an awful lot that still needed to be done when we went for our inspection.
August 31, 2026 at 2:47 AM
It’s the FINAL move-in day tomorrow!!!! I will finally be in my new house and this year-long stress headache will be OVER!
Happy Little Girl Dancing with Shades On
ALT: Happy Little Girl Dancing with Shades On
static.klipy.com
August 30, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Update in bullet points:

- Called again (day 5 of this nonsense)
- Told order was in the magical mystical warehouse which is actually progress; no one has explicitly said that before
- Told it was MY fault???!?!??!?
- Initiated refund and left scathing review.

AVOID NATIONAL MATTRESS!!!
My mattress order that should’ve arrived over a week ago never got onto the truck, according to the courier. I’ve called National Mattress every day for the last 4 days and all they say is they’re “talking to the warehouse.” Unless the warehouse is this one👇🏻 it shouldn’t take 4 days to pull an order
Raiders Lost: Floating Bag in Warehouse
ALT: Raiders Lost: Floating Bag in Warehouse
static.klipy.com
August 29, 2026 at 3:11 PM
Old house: Conditionally sold. New house: All paperwork signed and sealed and in the lawyer’s and bank’s hands. Happy days.

Now if only I can sort out this DAMN MATTRESS PROBLEM! About to start day 5 of calls to these people…..
Rose Byrne Praying
ALT: Rose Byrne Praying
static.klipy.com
August 29, 2026 at 2:05 PM
My mattress order that should’ve arrived over a week ago never got onto the truck, according to the courier. I’ve called National Mattress every day for the last 4 days and all they say is they’re “talking to the warehouse.” Unless the warehouse is this one👇🏻 it shouldn’t take 4 days to pull an order
Raiders Lost: Floating Bag in Warehouse
ALT: Raiders Lost: Floating Bag in Warehouse
static.klipy.com
August 29, 2026 at 1:07 AM
Not Dolly! 😢
August 25, 2026 at 6:27 PM
IT’S PRE-DELIVERY INSPECTION DAY!!!! In other words, I’m going to go look around my finished new house for the first time! I barely slept last night because I was so excited (and because I was so hot; the AC in the temporary accommodation still isn’t fixed 🥵.)
Adorable Puppy's Playful Paw Taps
ALT: Adorable Puppy's Playful Paw Taps
static.klipy.com
August 24, 2026 at 10:24 AM
I know I’ve already talked at length before about idioms Americans get wrong, such as “PREACHING to the choir” and “hold DOWN the fort,” but lately this one has been bugging me: “the proof is in the pudding.” Am I going to find an unredacted copy of the Epstein files inside this blancmange or what?
August 22, 2026 at 5:58 PM
The personal fan is now in the trash because this idiot got his big stupid paws tangled up in the power cord and decided to just keep walking instead of staying still like he was told to so I could go and rescue him. Smashed fan. No AC. Heatwave….I’m just going to go walk into the sea now.
Cooling blanket, personal fan, ice cubes in his water bowl, all blinds closed to keep sunlight out….still not happy. This boy needs this AC unit repaired soon. Poor guy is basically wearing two fur coats 24/7.
August 20, 2026 at 10:38 PM
Cooling blanket, personal fan, ice cubes in his water bowl, all blinds closed to keep sunlight out….still not happy. This boy needs this AC unit repaired soon. Poor guy is basically wearing two fur coats 24/7.
August 20, 2026 at 12:23 PM
The brand new AC my in-laws had installed less than a year ago has failed. It’s a bajillion degrees right now and I’m perimenopausal. The engineer said he needs to order a new part and it won’t arrive for a few days (maybe longer.) I’m in hell…..I literally cannot WAIT to move into my new house.
August 20, 2026 at 12:57 AM