Beth
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bethh.bsky.social
Beth
@bethh.bsky.social
3.7K followers 4.5K following 1.1K posts
[confused hissing]
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bethh.bsky.social
Common Chimpanzee Angry
An ad for a statue that appears to be a chimpanzee squatting to take a shit “Common Chimpanzee Angry... Free shipping”
September 7, 2026 at 6:45 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Heard a cat screaming this morning and saw this guy stuck on the neighbor’s roof. Got him down and found his owner (different neighbor). Bonus pic of my cat worrying that she was going to get a new roommate.
Tuxedo cat on a roof Cute tuxedo cat climbing on my knee to look at the camera Tuxedo cat with pointy ears Ragdoll cat looking out the window
August 30, 2026 at 10:26 AM
bethh.bsky.social
She is wearing a hat
A ragdoll cat wearing a little silver cup on her head
August 12, 2026 at 7:13 PM
bethh.bsky.social
“We go to Marks and Spencer to feel safe . . .”
“I was so discombobulated by the knicker . . .”

I don’t think you need to get your panties in a bunch over this
The Telegraph Facebook post "We go to Marks and Spencer to feel safe... See more Telegraph M&S is selling crotchless knickers. It's a tawdry disgrace ROWAN PELLING Image of crotchless underwear The Telegraph Facebook post 'I was so discombobulated by the knicker... See more elegraph M&S is selling crotchless knickers. It's a tawdry disgrace Image of crotchless underwear
July 31, 2026 at 1:20 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Career counselor: what are you passionate about?
A: Liquids
Career counselor: do you think maybe you should narrow that down a little?
A: No.
Storefront with a sign that says ULLRICH PASSION FOR LIQUIDS And shows a guy dropping some sort of liquid into another guy’s open mouth
July 24, 2026 at 7:26 PM
bethh.bsky.social
I will not have him staring at me while I sleep
Hotel wall with mirror and 3 hanging pictures, 1 of John Lennon a d 2 goats Same as other pic without Lennon
July 23, 2026 at 9:58 AM
bethh.bsky.social
Eepy time
A duck and a swan taking naps next to each other
July 18, 2026 at 7:32 PM
bethh.bsky.social
I don’t know what his problem was
Me in the alps next to a red deer statue that looks like it’s upset
July 15, 2026 at 7:54 PM
bethh.bsky.social
What does it mean when a stag visits you on the summer solstice?
Petting a stag in the park
June 21, 2026 at 3:50 PM
Reposted by Beth
johncnj.bsky.social
I fear I’ve misinterpreted this, but does this mean it’s ok to jerk off at an aviary?
bethh.bsky.social Beth @bethh.bsky.social · Jun 1
Did a bird write this?
A picture of a cockatiel with a Guardian article titled: Masturbation among birds is 'natural' and should not be punished, say experts
June 1, 2026 at 8:42 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Did a bird write this?
A picture of a cockatiel with a Guardian article titled: Masturbation among birds is 'natural' and should not be punished, say experts
June 1, 2026 at 4:31 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Become ungovernable
A fox crossing train tracks underneath a no crossing sign
May 30, 2026 at 8:10 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Confession: when a song says “pop that pussy” I don’t know what that means. Is it supposed to make a popping sound? Mine doesn’t do that
May 13, 2026 at 4:35 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Good news: the corvids have begun to gift me bones 🦴🐦‍⬛
A rib(?) bone that a corvid left in my back garden
May 12, 2026 at 1:22 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Goblin that lives in my home
A ragdoll cat making a scrungly face as it bites a string A ragdoll cat making a scrungly face as it bites a string A ragdoll cat making a scrungly face as it bites a string A ragdoll cat making a scrungly face as it bites a string
May 11, 2026 at 9:39 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Therapist: Wax museum Trent Reznor isn’t real. Wax museum Trent Reznor can’t hurt you.

Wax museum Trent Reznor:
A wax museum figure of Trent Reznor from the Closer video that does not resemble him.
April 22, 2026 at 7:14 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Hungry
A ragdoll cat staring because she wants her dinner
April 18, 2026 at 8:55 PM
Reposted by Beth
woketopus.northsky.social
goo goo goo goo goo goo
*pounding table*
GOO GOO GOO GOO GOO GOO
bethh.bsky.social Beth @bethh.bsky.social · Apr 5
ALL GOO, NO EGG
Cadbury crème egg bar that says all goo, no egg
April 6, 2026 at 4:31 AM
bethh.bsky.social
ALL GOO, NO EGG
Cadbury crème egg bar that says all goo, no egg
April 5, 2026 at 9:15 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Stonemason: what do you think?

Customer: it’s a . . . ?

Stonemason: a monkey, yeah

Customer: and it’s . . . devouring an iguana?

Stonemason: rescuing a human infant from a castle fire

Customer: ok
Coat of arms and carving of monkey holding infant (?) at lynch castle Galway carving of monkey holding infant (?) at lynch castle Galway
March 30, 2026 at 12:00 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Why does my hotel bed seem almost hostile?
A hotel bed with a red blanket across the foot that says “Make your point…”
March 17, 2026 at 2:19 AM
bethh.bsky.social
Bumming a paci-rette off her outside the bar
Hand holding an empty pack of cigarettes. Packaging has a blonde infant smoking a combination pacifier cigarette
March 7, 2026 at 12:50 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Wordlebot encourages more direct communication
Today’s wordlebot analysis YOUR GUESS MY PICKS QUEER 77 FURRY 99 QUEER was a good guess, but FURRY would have been more efficient.
February 24, 2026 at 9:31 PM
bethh.bsky.social
Tastes like burning
Me (dark-haired olive skinned woman) holding a bottle of Doritos liquor Ralph Wiggum from the Simpsons in the tastes like burning scene
February 13, 2026 at 2:58 AM
bethh.bsky.social
The old razzle dazzle
A ragdoll cat with its leg straight up in the air
February 11, 2026 at 1:36 AM