Merkin the Magician
@bizinatch.bsky.social
Living my unapologetically gay atheist life as if Huey Lewis wrote the soundtrack
Pinned
i sat with my anger long enough until she told me her name was grief - CS Lewis
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
Just randomly agreeing to do stuff because I don't think I'll live long enough to follow it through.
October 2, 2026 at 11:37 AM
Just randomly agreeing to do stuff because I don't think I'll live long enough to follow it through.
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
Sometimes I feel like shit and look in mirror expecting to see the same but nope I’m still adorable.
Also I’m kind of narcissistic.
Also I’m kind of narcissistic.
October 5, 2026 at 4:55 PM
Sometimes I feel like shit and look in mirror expecting to see the same but nope I’m still adorable.
Also I’m kind of narcissistic.
Also I’m kind of narcissistic.
are dems writing project 2029 yet?
October 5, 2026 at 10:17 PM
are dems writing project 2029 yet?
I bet those pandas have listening devices in their buttholes and a camera where their left eyes used to be
September 27, 2026 at 11:14 AM
I bet those pandas have listening devices in their buttholes and a camera where their left eyes used to be
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
Interviewer: what’s your greatest weakness
Me: (straw slurping) probably iced coffee
Me: (straw slurping) probably iced coffee
September 27, 2026 at 2:39 AM
Interviewer: what’s your greatest weakness
Me: (straw slurping) probably iced coffee
Me: (straw slurping) probably iced coffee
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
Guy in line ahead of me at the pharmacy got all the good drugs.
September 27, 2026 at 2:45 AM
Guy in line ahead of me at the pharmacy got all the good drugs.
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
A gloryhole, but for someone to talk to
September 26, 2026 at 11:48 PM
A gloryhole, but for someone to talk to
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
when i say we need a scott presler i mean we need a hair guy
September 27, 2026 at 5:12 AM
when i say we need a scott presler i mean we need a hair guy
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
“taste the meat, not the heat” i whisper as i stick my dick into the toaster oven
September 27, 2026 at 3:00 AM
“taste the meat, not the heat” i whisper as i stick my dick into the toaster oven
Poor John Mellencamp
September 27, 2026 at 1:15 AM
Poor John Mellencamp
Where do grasshoppers go when it’s cold outside?
September 22, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Where do grasshoppers go when it’s cold outside?
Doorbell
“We’re passing these around for Scott Perry. I was wondering if you want one.”
“You can shove that up your ass.”
[ chuckles ] “Thank you. Have a good one.”
“We’re passing these around for Scott Perry. I was wondering if you want one.”
“You can shove that up your ass.”
[ chuckles ] “Thank you. Have a good one.”
September 20, 2026 at 3:12 PM
Doorbell
“We’re passing these around for Scott Perry. I was wondering if you want one.”
“You can shove that up your ass.”
[ chuckles ] “Thank you. Have a good one.”
“We’re passing these around for Scott Perry. I was wondering if you want one.”
“You can shove that up your ass.”
[ chuckles ] “Thank you. Have a good one.”
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
Me: that’s the most eloquent thing you’ve ever said
Coworker: it was a fart
Me: i stand by my statement
Coworker: it was a fart
Me: i stand by my statement
September 19, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Me: that’s the most eloquent thing you’ve ever said
Coworker: it was a fart
Me: i stand by my statement
Coworker: it was a fart
Me: i stand by my statement
we run out of gas before november
people can’t get to the polls
that’s how they cancel the election
people can’t get to the polls
that’s how they cancel the election
September 16, 2026 at 11:13 PM
we run out of gas before november
people can’t get to the polls
that’s how they cancel the election
people can’t get to the polls
that’s how they cancel the election
Josh Johnson has me thinking. Is the AI guardrails discussion just admission that it was all simply hype? Is it cover for their metaverse-sized failure?
September 16, 2026 at 7:06 AM
Josh Johnson has me thinking. Is the AI guardrails discussion just admission that it was all simply hype? Is it cover for their metaverse-sized failure?
Forced bestiality is becoming a real problem
September 15, 2026 at 7:35 PM
Forced bestiality is becoming a real problem
my nipples are so hard today
September 15, 2026 at 3:39 PM
my nipples are so hard today
the aliens are the only ones who can protect us from ourselves now
September 14, 2026 at 11:42 PM
the aliens are the only ones who can protect us from ourselves now
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
The dems are currently running against a bunch of pedo supporters who crashed the economy, started a losing war with iran, and sent out secret police on our streets.
And yet, for some reason, they're choosing to attack trans people, one of the groups the pedo supporters use as a scapegoat.
And yet, for some reason, they're choosing to attack trans people, one of the groups the pedo supporters use as a scapegoat.
September 13, 2026 at 5:54 PM
The dems are currently running against a bunch of pedo supporters who crashed the economy, started a losing war with iran, and sent out secret police on our streets.
And yet, for some reason, they're choosing to attack trans people, one of the groups the pedo supporters use as a scapegoat.
And yet, for some reason, they're choosing to attack trans people, one of the groups the pedo supporters use as a scapegoat.
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
If she still flirts with you after filling your prescriptions, she's a keeper
September 12, 2026 at 6:49 PM
If she still flirts with you after filling your prescriptions, she's a keeper
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
You can really tell a lot about a person. And that is called gossip.
September 13, 2026 at 4:37 PM
You can really tell a lot about a person. And that is called gossip.
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
Life Alert should make the sound of Sonic losing his rings when someone falls
September 13, 2026 at 2:34 PM
Life Alert should make the sound of Sonic losing his rings when someone falls
looking for my husband at Costco.
I don’t have one. Just looking.
I don’t have one. Just looking.
September 12, 2026 at 3:51 PM
looking for my husband at Costco.
I don’t have one. Just looking.
I don’t have one. Just looking.