Brett Hatchman
@bretthatchman.bsky.social
Rolling Stones tragic 🎶🎤🎸🥁
Part-time screenwriter with occasional bouts of imposter syndrome 😳
Traveler 0063
Eric Scmitt: Didn't you in fact appear in the movie Tropic Thund--
Jack Smith: Sir, th--
Eric Scmitt: If you'd kindly let me finish, Mr. Smith! As I was trying to say, and the two remakes of Jumanji? What do you have to say about that?
Jack Smith: Sir, that was Jack Black.
Jack Smith: Sir, th--
Eric Scmitt: If you'd kindly let me finish, Mr. Smith! As I was trying to say, and the two remakes of Jumanji? What do you have to say about that?
Jack Smith: Sir, that was Jack Black.
October 4, 2026 at 5:24 AM
Eric Scmitt: Didn't you in fact appear in the movie Tropic Thund--
Jack Smith: Sir, th--
Eric Scmitt: If you'd kindly let me finish, Mr. Smith! As I was trying to say, and the two remakes of Jumanji? What do you have to say about that?
Jack Smith: Sir, that was Jack Black.
Jack Smith: Sir, th--
Eric Scmitt: If you'd kindly let me finish, Mr. Smith! As I was trying to say, and the two remakes of Jumanji? What do you have to say about that?
Jack Smith: Sir, that was Jack Black.
If Crazy Joe Devola from Seinfeld & Annie Wilkes from Misery had a love child, it would look like this wanker.
October 1, 2026 at 2:02 AM
If Crazy Joe Devola from Seinfeld & Annie Wilkes from Misery had a love child, it would look like this wanker.
Reposted by Brett Hatchman
It’s 1970 and ELTON JOHN takes out a crumpled piece of paper and plays “Tiny Dancer” for the first time in front of his lyricist BERNIE TAUPIN and Taupin’s wife Maxine (for whom Taupin wrote the song).
September 26, 2026 at 5:41 PM
It’s 1970 and ELTON JOHN takes out a crumpled piece of paper and plays “Tiny Dancer” for the first time in front of his lyricist BERNIE TAUPIN and Taupin’s wife Maxine (for whom Taupin wrote the song).
Reposted by Brett Hatchman
Arsenal getting pecked by the Seagulls!
September 19, 2026 at 4:11 PM
Arsenal getting pecked by the Seagulls!
BREAKING: Driveshaft will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran.
September 16, 2026 at 3:22 AM
BREAKING: Driveshaft will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran.
September 11, 2026 at 3:54 AM
Sherlock to his father: "You look as spy as ever. My compliments to the virgins whose blood you bathed in."
His father's reply: "I see that opiates haven't dulled your wit."
A couple of gems from Robert Doherty.
#Elementary
His father's reply: "I see that opiates haven't dulled your wit."
A couple of gems from Robert Doherty.
#Elementary
September 6, 2026 at 5:15 AM
Sherlock to his father: "You look as spy as ever. My compliments to the virgins whose blood you bathed in."
His father's reply: "I see that opiates haven't dulled your wit."
A couple of gems from Robert Doherty.
#Elementary
His father's reply: "I see that opiates haven't dulled your wit."
A couple of gems from Robert Doherty.
#Elementary
What gif pops up when you type your name?
September 4, 2026 at 3:14 AM
What gif pops up when you type your name?
"You have approached Oden. Your photo has been taken and forwarded to the authorities."
A gem from Craig Sweeney 👌
#Elementary
A gem from Craig Sweeney 👌
#Elementary
September 3, 2026 at 4:09 AM
"You have approached Oden. Your photo has been taken and forwarded to the authorities."
A gem from Craig Sweeney 👌
#Elementary
A gem from Craig Sweeney 👌
#Elementary
Reposted by Brett Hatchman
I know there's not much of a chance newspapers will print this one but you can't have a word like 'ballroom' and expect me not to do a joke about it.
September 2, 2026 at 3:26 PM
I know there's not much of a chance newspapers will print this one but you can't have a word like 'ballroom' and expect me not to do a joke about it.
Without saying your age, what is your favourite movie that came out when you were 20 years old.
September 3, 2026 at 2:24 AM
Without saying your age, what is your favourite movie that came out when you were 20 years old.
Post your getaway vehicle(s)
August 31, 2026 at 6:21 AM
Post your getaway vehicle(s)
Introduce yourself with 10 acts you've seen live.
The Rolling Stones
Cheap Trick
Roxy Music
Stevie Nicks
Tom Petty
Bob Dylan
Dave Stewart
Santana
Simon & Garfunkel
Rod Stewart
The Rolling Stones
Cheap Trick
Roxy Music
Stevie Nicks
Tom Petty
Bob Dylan
Dave Stewart
Santana
Simon & Garfunkel
Rod Stewart
Introduce yourself with 10 acts you've seen live
The Replacements
The Who
Dolly Parton
Elvis Presley
Living Color
Simple Minds
Jackson 5
Tom Jones
Peter Gabriel
Guy Clark
The Replacements
The Who
Dolly Parton
Elvis Presley
Living Color
Simple Minds
Jackson 5
Tom Jones
Peter Gabriel
Guy Clark
Introduce yourself with 10 acts you've seen live
Nine Inch Nails
Jethro Tull
L7
The Stooges
PJ Harvey
Tori Amos
Tom Waits
Joan Jett
Sleaford Mods
Mark Lanegan
Nine Inch Nails
Jethro Tull
L7
The Stooges
PJ Harvey
Tori Amos
Tom Waits
Joan Jett
Sleaford Mods
Mark Lanegan
August 30, 2026 at 1:15 AM
Introduce yourself with 10 acts you've seen live.
The Rolling Stones
Cheap Trick
Roxy Music
Stevie Nicks
Tom Petty
Bob Dylan
Dave Stewart
Santana
Simon & Garfunkel
Rod Stewart
The Rolling Stones
Cheap Trick
Roxy Music
Stevie Nicks
Tom Petty
Bob Dylan
Dave Stewart
Santana
Simon & Garfunkel
Rod Stewart
It's almost like his inappropriate shenanigans on Bull, the $9.5 million settlement & the poor ratings of Tony & Ziva never happened 🤷 I guess CBS are hoping people have forgotten all about it. ew.com/michael-weat...
Michael Weatherly returns to ‘NCIS’ in season 24 first look (exclusive)
Following the cancellation of ‘Tony & Ziva,’ Michael Weatherly is officially back on the ‘NCIS’ team in this exclusive first look.
ew.com
August 26, 2026 at 11:31 PM
It's almost like his inappropriate shenanigans on Bull, the $9.5 million settlement & the poor ratings of Tony & Ziva never happened 🤷 I guess CBS are hoping people have forgotten all about it. ew.com/michael-weat...
Reposted by Brett Hatchman
OK, enough of this shit. Where are all the Obama 2028 hats? I will buy one and start wearing it.
August 16, 2026 at 3:11 PM
OK, enough of this shit. Where are all the Obama 2028 hats? I will buy one and start wearing it.
Describe your music taste in 3 artists, not genres.
1) The Rolling Stones
2) Frank Zappa
3) Foo Fighters
1) The Rolling Stones
2) Frank Zappa
3) Foo Fighters
Describe your music taste in 3 artists, no genres.
This, of course, varies widely all of the time but...
1)Concrete Blonde
2) Steam Powered Giraffe
3) Bob Dylan
This, of course, varies widely all of the time but...
1)Concrete Blonde
2) Steam Powered Giraffe
3) Bob Dylan
Describe your music taste in 3 artists, no genres.
lol no that's not possible
lol no that's not possible
August 17, 2026 at 2:30 AM
Describe your music taste in 3 artists, not genres.
1) The Rolling Stones
2) Frank Zappa
3) Foo Fighters
1) The Rolling Stones
2) Frank Zappa
3) Foo Fighters
Post yourself in a different era of life.
I think I was about 21 or 22 when this was taken?
I think I was about 21 or 22 when this was taken?
August 10, 2026 at 3:36 AM
Post yourself in a different era of life.
I think I was about 21 or 22 when this was taken?
I think I was about 21 or 22 when this was taken?
Reposted by Brett Hatchman
Reposted by Brett Hatchman
One of the quiet bright moments of lockdown was Sam Neill serenading us on the ukulele. This type of tenderness feels rare nowadays, how lucky we were. Thank you for everything. ❤️❤️❤️
July 14, 2026 at 12:39 AM
One of the quiet bright moments of lockdown was Sam Neill serenading us on the ukulele. This type of tenderness feels rare nowadays, how lucky we were. Thank you for everything. ❤️❤️❤️
They recast me sporting a goatee, Bitch Please. Who's bright idea was that?
July 13, 2026 at 11:37 PM
They recast me sporting a goatee, Bitch Please. Who's bright idea was that?
Reposted by Brett Hatchman
Death, you bastard.
Sam Neill seemed like a consummate gentleman. I loved watching him on screen. 💔
Sam Neill seemed like a consummate gentleman. I loved watching him on screen. 💔
July 13, 2026 at 5:55 AM
Death, you bastard.
Sam Neill seemed like a consummate gentleman. I loved watching him on screen. 💔
Sam Neill seemed like a consummate gentleman. I loved watching him on screen. 💔
Reposted by Brett Hatchman
Breaking: Scott Jennings & Mitch McConnell to star in remake of Ghost
July 10, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Breaking: Scott Jennings & Mitch McConnell to star in remake of Ghost
My hazy memories of this evil liquid from my younger years.
Side effects may include... Severe hangover, possibly a case of amnesia & more than likely a night in the "Drunk Tank."
Side effects may include... Severe hangover, possibly a case of amnesia & more than likely a night in the "Drunk Tank."
July 5, 2026 at 3:08 AM
My hazy memories of this evil liquid from my younger years.
Side effects may include... Severe hangover, possibly a case of amnesia & more than likely a night in the "Drunk Tank."
Side effects may include... Severe hangover, possibly a case of amnesia & more than likely a night in the "Drunk Tank."