City of Vancouver
@cityofvancover.bsky.social
The city of eternal dreams. 🌑
Official #CityofVancouver account 🇨🇦. Keep up with news, services, programs, events, creature sightings, and emergency notifications.
(parody)
Official #CityofVancouver account 🇨🇦. Keep up with news, services, programs, events, creature sightings, and emergency notifications.
(parody)
BREAKING: DNA testing of the mysteriously large volumes of blood found in the Capilano water reservoir has determined it is extraterrestrial in origin.
September 2, 2026 at 6:44 PM
BREAKING: DNA testing of the mysteriously large volumes of blood found in the Capilano water reservoir has determined it is extraterrestrial in origin.
BREAKING: Vancouver Mayor Ken Sim has announced he would never have sex with a goodra
August 14, 2026 at 6:54 PM
BREAKING: Vancouver Mayor Ken Sim has announced he would never have sex with a goodra
Anyone see all those fursuits in Richmond this weekend what the heck was that all about am I right? How do I get one
August 10, 2026 at 8:30 PM
Anyone see all those fursuits in Richmond this weekend what the heck was that all about am I right? How do I get one
Head's up to all Expo Line passengers: next week the Edmonds Station Anti-Cell Signal Zone will be expanding
July 28, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Head's up to all Expo Line passengers: next week the Edmonds Station Anti-Cell Signal Zone will be expanding
We are still investigating the origin of the holographic Christine Sinclair that has been haunting all SkyTrain lines. She's not supposed to be there, we don't know where she came from, and frankly we're a little bit scared.
July 9, 2026 at 9:57 PM
We are still investigating the origin of the holographic Christine Sinclair that has been haunting all SkyTrain lines. She's not supposed to be there, we don't know where she came from, and frankly we're a little bit scared.
Oh its fine 😃
Freshslice Pizza is under investigation following constant rumours of genetic experiments being used to create their pepperoni. We will report back with any updates.
July 9, 2026 at 7:03 PM
Oh its fine 😃
Freshslice Pizza is under investigation following constant rumours of genetic experiments being used to create their pepperoni. We will report back with any updates.
June 22, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Freshslice Pizza is under investigation following constant rumours of genetic experiments being used to create their pepperoni. We will report back with any updates.
What have we done
We're excited to announce that as of this morning, Mayor Ken Sim has had his lungs surgically replaced with #FIFA soccer balls! We highly recommend all Metro Vancouver residents book their own operation as soon as possible.
June 14, 2026 at 6:42 AM
What have we done
Hi, it's Christine Sinclair, the world's top international goal scorer. The city is currently being overrun with giant rat-fungus mutants
June 13, 2026 at 4:36 PM
Hi, it's Christine Sinclair, the world's top international goal scorer. The city is currently being overrun with giant rat-fungus mutants
We're excited to announce that as of this morning, Mayor Ken Sim has had his lungs surgically replaced with #FIFA soccer balls! We highly recommend all Metro Vancouver residents book their own operation as soon as possible.
June 12, 2026 at 12:33 AM
We're excited to announce that as of this morning, Mayor Ken Sim has had his lungs surgically replaced with #FIFA soccer balls! We highly recommend all Metro Vancouver residents book their own operation as soon as possible.
hey what was that
June 11, 2026 at 7:58 AM
hey what was that
UPDATE: Rat Brawl Rumble tomorrow night is CANCELLED. Unfortunately the selenemycosis fungus liquefied half the remaining rats in the league. We will update you when you'll be able to watch rats fighting again
June 11, 2026 at 12:02 AM
UPDATE: Rat Brawl Rumble tomorrow night is CANCELLED. Unfortunately the selenemycosis fungus liquefied half the remaining rats in the league. We will update you when you'll be able to watch rats fighting again
Readers rejoice! Quiznos pledges to donate $5000 to the Vancouver Public Library to help replace the 800,000 books that were lost last year when thousands of rat-sized silverfish descended upon the downtown area.
June 7, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Readers rejoice! Quiznos pledges to donate $5000 to the Vancouver Public Library to help replace the 800,000 books that were lost last year when thousands of rat-sized silverfish descended upon the downtown area.
Call the nearest Decontamination Centre at your earliest convenience.
June 2, 2026 at 9:41 PM
Call the nearest Decontamination Centre at your earliest convenience.
Happy #PrideMonth, Vancouver! This year's Pride Parade is being pushed back until September to allow room for the Freshslice Pizza Cheesy Garlic Death Arena's grand opening! #LoveWins🏳️🌈
June 1, 2026 at 7:17 PM
Happy #PrideMonth, Vancouver! This year's Pride Parade is being pushed back until September to allow room for the Freshslice Pizza Cheesy Garlic Death Arena's grand opening! #LoveWins🏳️🌈
Summer's just around the corner, Vancouver! As the days get warmer, don't forget to remain 10 meters or more away from any strand entities you may see. Prolonged proximity to strand entities has been known to result in migraines, abdominal discomfort, and liver dysfunction.
May 31, 2026 at 6:04 PM
Summer's just around the corner, Vancouver! As the days get warmer, don't forget to remain 10 meters or more away from any strand entities you may see. Prolonged proximity to strand entities has been known to result in migraines, abdominal discomfort, and liver dysfunction.
⚠️ TRAFFIC ALERT: Several strand creatures have emerged along West Broadway.
Full road closure on West Broadway from Larch St to Burrard St until decontamination crews relocate the creatures to the Stanley Park Containment Grid.
Thank you for your patience.
#VanTraffic
Full road closure on West Broadway from Larch St to Burrard St until decontamination crews relocate the creatures to the Stanley Park Containment Grid.
Thank you for your patience.
#VanTraffic
May 31, 2026 at 8:14 AM
⚠️ TRAFFIC ALERT: Several strand creatures have emerged along West Broadway.
Full road closure on West Broadway from Larch St to Burrard St until decontamination crews relocate the creatures to the Stanley Park Containment Grid.
Thank you for your patience.
#VanTraffic
Full road closure on West Broadway from Larch St to Burrard St until decontamination crews relocate the creatures to the Stanley Park Containment Grid.
Thank you for your patience.
#VanTraffic