Pinned
Clay
@clayvage.bsky.social
· Sep 7
Seagulls are like street signs, you don’t realize how big they are until you’re trying to steal one.
I saw a tattoo shop with a sign that said 'we back the blue', which I assume just means they're ok doing swastikas
August 26, 2026 at 6:50 PM
I saw a tattoo shop with a sign that said 'we back the blue', which I assume just means they're ok doing swastikas
Unironic Necco wafer enjoyer
August 19, 2026 at 11:03 PM
Unironic Necco wafer enjoyer
Hey, I work at the dept of shithead idiots and we've been getting a lot of calls about you
July 25, 2026 at 2:55 AM
Hey, I work at the dept of shithead idiots and we've been getting a lot of calls about you
Reposted by Clay
but they already made a historically accurate version of the odyssey?
July 22, 2026 at 7:52 PM
but they already made a historically accurate version of the odyssey?
Are you even friends if you haven't added a shortcut to their city in your weather app?
July 19, 2026 at 2:43 AM
Are you even friends if you haven't added a shortcut to their city in your weather app?
I love when I submit a return for something I got on Amazon and they're like 'Here's your money, don't even send that piece of shit back. We don't want it either'
July 18, 2026 at 4:50 PM
I love when I submit a return for something I got on Amazon and they're like 'Here's your money, don't even send that piece of shit back. We don't want it either'
Maybe we get pangea back together? Yeah? Fuck yeah?
July 16, 2026 at 2:08 AM
Maybe we get pangea back together? Yeah? Fuck yeah?
Nice legs, sexy legs! (derogatorily complimentary)
July 14, 2026 at 6:16 PM
Nice legs, sexy legs! (derogatorily complimentary)
I hate feral water. I only like it when it's domesticated
July 6, 2026 at 2:28 PM
I hate feral water. I only like it when it's domesticated
I sit on innovative surfaces. Lie down in imaginative ways. I rest my feet in places so unexpected that it has been called groundbreaking
June 19, 2026 at 2:51 AM
I sit on innovative surfaces. Lie down in imaginative ways. I rest my feet in places so unexpected that it has been called groundbreaking
Can I replace my arteries with cat6 cable?
June 14, 2026 at 3:55 AM
Can I replace my arteries with cat6 cable?
Reposted by Clay
a special burn unit specifically for people who can’t wait for their food to cool down
June 2, 2026 at 1:56 PM
a special burn unit specifically for people who can’t wait for their food to cool down
I respect 'what the fuck' and 'what the hell', but if I hear someone say 'what the shit' I'm gonna try to make the situation, whatever it may be, even worse
June 1, 2026 at 12:25 AM
I respect 'what the fuck' and 'what the hell', but if I hear someone say 'what the shit' I'm gonna try to make the situation, whatever it may be, even worse
The aging millennial urge to appear slightly more slutty
May 31, 2026 at 11:09 PM
The aging millennial urge to appear slightly more slutty
My only option for a little sweet treat tonight is a cookie that I dropped on the cement earlier. I'm sure it's fine
May 29, 2026 at 2:12 AM
My only option for a little sweet treat tonight is a cookie that I dropped on the cement earlier. I'm sure it's fine
Don't ask if I'd trade you for a nice scenic overlook. You won't be pleased with the answer
May 24, 2026 at 2:04 PM
Don't ask if I'd trade you for a nice scenic overlook. You won't be pleased with the answer
Just ate 9 cookies. Don't blame yourself, there was nothing anyone could've done to stop me
May 23, 2026 at 3:32 AM
Just ate 9 cookies. Don't blame yourself, there was nothing anyone could've done to stop me
Wiener fan or not, you must agree that's it's pretty magical that there's a fleet of hot dog shaped cars driving around.
May 22, 2026 at 11:33 PM
Wiener fan or not, you must agree that's it's pretty magical that there's a fleet of hot dog shaped cars driving around.
The trolley problem, but it's when the McDonald's drive thru guy accidentally hands me the order for the people behind me and it's way more food and way better food and it's not the trolley problem at all.
May 21, 2026 at 8:34 PM
The trolley problem, but it's when the McDonald's drive thru guy accidentally hands me the order for the people behind me and it's way more food and way better food and it's not the trolley problem at all.
My tire got a nail in it. So what now? Do I have to buy a new car?
May 21, 2026 at 2:06 PM
My tire got a nail in it. So what now? Do I have to buy a new car?
Reposted by Clay
Why must you bait my click? I want to click. Give me something worth clicking for
May 20, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Why must you bait my click? I want to click. Give me something worth clicking for
I haven't gotten an important email in 6 years
May 20, 2026 at 12:58 AM
I haven't gotten an important email in 6 years
Has anybody figured out a way to listen to Smash Mouth without having to watch Shrek yet?
May 2, 2026 at 12:34 AM
Has anybody figured out a way to listen to Smash Mouth without having to watch Shrek yet?
Reposted by Clay
exec after years of bad decisions: the industry has shifted,
October 2, 2024 at 1:26 PM
exec after years of bad decisions: the industry has shifted,