crabbydaddy dave
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crabbydaddy.bsky.social
crabbydaddy dave
@crabbydaddy.bsky.social
crabbydacrab from twitter

architect & crab lover

mildly amusing musings when high
we have one race: human. be kind. 🏳️‍🌈
Pinned
When dancing with the right person, you don’t need music.
Reposted by crabbydaddy dave
I prefer active aggression to passive aggression.
September 15, 2026 at 2:24 PM
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There are days where I really miss being on chalkboard eraser duty
September 15, 2026 at 2:46 PM
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Bluesky acquaintance: “oh, I haven’t been on here much, I hardly ever come on here.”

Me, responding .08 seconds later:
“ME EITHER”
September 15, 2026 at 1:24 PM
Reposted by crabbydaddy dave
September 15, 2026 at 2:47 PM
unless you are not getting paid
why is it freelance and not feelance?
September 15, 2026 at 2:45 PM
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Oddly enough, I do most of my talking when I'm by myself.
September 15, 2026 at 1:43 PM
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I’ve been through a lot and have the scars to prove it. Many on my right arm in the shape of my oven rack
September 15, 2026 at 10:46 AM
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When I say I only want one bite of cake, this is the cake:
September 15, 2026 at 3:40 AM
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[Running with scissors] fuck, this is exhausting.
September 15, 2026 at 4:47 AM
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“We’re adorable” I say to my cats,
as I share my Kraft cheese slices with them on a Saturday night
September 13, 2026 at 1:10 AM
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If we have to have an apocalypse, it might as well be a good one.
September 15, 2026 at 10:42 AM
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When one door closes, another one opens. That’s how I learned the refrigerator needs leveling.
September 14, 2026 at 6:20 PM
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you’re allowed only one trauma per quarter
September 15, 2026 at 2:02 PM
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I could’ve been a superhero but chose to go to work everyday instead
September 15, 2026 at 2:00 PM
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I am just 10 mediocre posts in a trenchcoat
September 15, 2026 at 1:50 PM
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Stop being nice to other people and an asshole to yourself.
September 14, 2026 at 12:35 AM
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I hope this Ishmael finds you whale
September 10, 2026 at 6:42 PM
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Some things are better left whatevered.
November 23, 2024 at 8:23 PM
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I still think about the track suit I stole from my first boyfriend that his mom bought with her Marlboro miles.
September 14, 2026 at 9:51 PM
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what do you mean that in order to make friends, I need to interact with people
September 14, 2026 at 4:51 AM
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I respect my haters and share their concerns
September 15, 2026 at 3:00 AM
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i opened an umbrella indoors and nothing bad happened i am a god
September 14, 2026 at 10:10 PM
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I love how everyone associates me with cheese
September 14, 2026 at 11:24 PM
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All of my advice involves food.
September 15, 2026 at 1:13 PM