Ian
@crayman.bsky.social
Coming to you live from an abandoned radio tower deep within the Ultra Low Emissions Zone
Cheapside Street Scene, c. 2026
September 15, 2026 at 3:53 PM
Cheapside Street Scene, c. 2026
Learned wisdom: Probably don't attempt toilet repair on a Sunday evening
September 13, 2026 at 6:05 PM
Learned wisdom: Probably don't attempt toilet repair on a Sunday evening
I fixed something with soldering today, and I hope this feeling last forever
September 11, 2026 at 5:45 PM
I fixed something with soldering today, and I hope this feeling last forever
Thinking of trying to pivot real life conversations into ads for Surfshark
September 9, 2026 at 7:01 PM
Thinking of trying to pivot real life conversations into ads for Surfshark
How many days in a row does "Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats" need to be playing on loop in my head before I can declare myself legally insane?
September 8, 2026 at 7:42 PM
How many days in a row does "Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats" need to be playing on loop in my head before I can declare myself legally insane?
Went to check out some biomes
August 30, 2026 at 9:31 AM
Went to check out some biomes
My investing experience so far is this meme happening on an endless loop
August 26, 2026 at 1:14 PM
My investing experience so far is this meme happening on an endless loop
I think I despise AI doomers more than AI boosters, but they're basically the same people - idiots who believe the marketing. There is absolutely no evidence 'Recursive self improvement' will happen. The companies running out of borrowed money and causing a stock market crash is far more likely.
August 22, 2026 at 10:45 AM
I think I despise AI doomers more than AI boosters, but they're basically the same people - idiots who believe the marketing. There is absolutely no evidence 'Recursive self improvement' will happen. The companies running out of borrowed money and causing a stock market crash is far more likely.
Alert just arrived while I was on a packed train platform, giving me the whole 4-minute warning experience.
August 14, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Alert just arrived while I was on a packed train platform, giving me the whole 4-minute warning experience.
Hey gemini can't I just squint at the eclipse
August 11, 2026 at 6:21 PM
Hey gemini can't I just squint at the eclipse
"New North Sea oil drilling faces delay after gear accidentally dropped in sea"
July 25, 2026 at 9:06 PM
"New North Sea oil drilling faces delay after gear accidentally dropped in sea"
Feel like I’m the first person ever to make it this far into the X-Files
July 21, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Feel like I’m the first person ever to make it this far into the X-Files
Announcing my new career as a youtube investment shyster. "3 Overlooked stocks that you should be buying yesterday". You will of course have to give me £4000 for a PDF, or pay to participate in my Webinar to find out what the stocks are, and yes they will tank immediately and permanently.
July 14, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Announcing my new career as a youtube investment shyster. "3 Overlooked stocks that you should be buying yesterday". You will of course have to give me £4000 for a PDF, or pay to participate in my Webinar to find out what the stocks are, and yes they will tank immediately and permanently.
Bedroom down to 29.9C. Time for fitful sleetp.
July 9, 2026 at 10:11 PM
Bedroom down to 29.9C. Time for fitful sleetp.
New work attire discovered: Looking like you stopped in at the office in the middle of a fun run
July 9, 2026 at 8:24 AM
New work attire discovered: Looking like you stopped in at the office in the middle of a fun run
I don't know man, I got home and the parcel was there. What do you want from me? Must I have opinions about every mundanity?
July 8, 2026 at 9:24 PM
I don't know man, I got home and the parcel was there. What do you want from me? Must I have opinions about every mundanity?
Always remember -
Just because there's never been a beetle in your shoe, that doesn't mean that there isn't a beetle in your shoe.
Just because there's never been a beetle in your shoe, that doesn't mean that there isn't a beetle in your shoe.
July 8, 2026 at 7:23 PM
Always remember -
Just because there's never been a beetle in your shoe, that doesn't mean that there isn't a beetle in your shoe.
Just because there's never been a beetle in your shoe, that doesn't mean that there isn't a beetle in your shoe.
(Misophonoia Brain)
I really don’t understand people eating crisps just before lunch, or just after lunch. Just eat a better lunch!
Also using a keyboard between bites. Yeah just slap your hand together twice, that’ll get the grease dust off.
(Coworkers all have comically large crisp packet piles)
I really don’t understand people eating crisps just before lunch, or just after lunch. Just eat a better lunch!
Also using a keyboard between bites. Yeah just slap your hand together twice, that’ll get the grease dust off.
(Coworkers all have comically large crisp packet piles)
July 8, 2026 at 12:55 PM
(Misophonoia Brain)
I really don’t understand people eating crisps just before lunch, or just after lunch. Just eat a better lunch!
Also using a keyboard between bites. Yeah just slap your hand together twice, that’ll get the grease dust off.
(Coworkers all have comically large crisp packet piles)
I really don’t understand people eating crisps just before lunch, or just after lunch. Just eat a better lunch!
Also using a keyboard between bites. Yeah just slap your hand together twice, that’ll get the grease dust off.
(Coworkers all have comically large crisp packet piles)
Preview of a work for my new exhibition - “Fumbling with my dang phone”
July 8, 2026 at 8:55 AM
Preview of a work for my new exhibition - “Fumbling with my dang phone”
Been really trying not to order shit from Amazon, but had to recently and they've screwed up delivering 3 orders in a row. Hey Rufus! What's up with that? RUFUS!! You swine!!
July 1, 2026 at 9:07 PM
Been really trying not to order shit from Amazon, but had to recently and they've screwed up delivering 3 orders in a row. Hey Rufus! What's up with that? RUFUS!! You swine!!
"Xbox is weighing up cancelling its Marvel's Blade game and shuttering Arkane"
June 30, 2026 at 6:13 PM
"Xbox is weighing up cancelling its Marvel's Blade game and shuttering Arkane"
Fan breaks.
"No problem, I will get one from Argos"
Argos: "Why would we have fans?"
"Fine, I'll go to the biggest shopping mall in Europe. Hey do you have fans?"
Westfield: "No! Why would we have fans?"
"Oh well, at least the mall is air conditioned"
Westfield: "No! Why would we have AC?"
"No problem, I will get one from Argos"
Argos: "Why would we have fans?"
"Fine, I'll go to the biggest shopping mall in Europe. Hey do you have fans?"
Westfield: "No! Why would we have fans?"
"Oh well, at least the mall is air conditioned"
Westfield: "No! Why would we have AC?"
June 27, 2026 at 1:17 PM
Fan breaks.
"No problem, I will get one from Argos"
Argos: "Why would we have fans?"
"Fine, I'll go to the biggest shopping mall in Europe. Hey do you have fans?"
Westfield: "No! Why would we have fans?"
"Oh well, at least the mall is air conditioned"
Westfield: "No! Why would we have AC?"
"No problem, I will get one from Argos"
Argos: "Why would we have fans?"
"Fine, I'll go to the biggest shopping mall in Europe. Hey do you have fans?"
Westfield: "No! Why would we have fans?"
"Oh well, at least the mall is air conditioned"
Westfield: "No! Why would we have AC?"
Can we do that sky scorching thing from the Matrix, but just like a bit? Maybe a couple of planes?
June 27, 2026 at 12:30 PM
Can we do that sky scorching thing from the Matrix, but just like a bit? Maybe a couple of planes?
<- Shakes hands with one of those pricks who tries to crush your hand with their handshakes
Me: "Ow!"
Not really winning the male dominance shit today
Me: "Ow!"
Not really winning the male dominance shit today
June 24, 2026 at 7:38 PM
<- Shakes hands with one of those pricks who tries to crush your hand with their handshakes
Me: "Ow!"
Not really winning the male dominance shit today
Me: "Ow!"
Not really winning the male dominance shit today
The last couple of years I've celebrated Spooky August - when it becomes too hot to do anything except watch terrible franchise horror movies. This year, I've had to bring it forward and now we have Spooky June. At this rate, by 2030 February will be spooky.
June 20, 2026 at 6:46 PM
The last couple of years I've celebrated Spooky August - when it becomes too hot to do anything except watch terrible franchise horror movies. This year, I've had to bring it forward and now we have Spooky June. At this rate, by 2030 February will be spooky.