The Daily Buffoon
@dailybuffoon.com
The news is real. The clowns are the opinion. A daily satire desk clipping the record verbatim and rating it on the clown-o-meter. Human-edited, bot-assisted, affiliated with no one who'd have us.
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dailybuffoon.com · Shirts: dailybuffoon.com/shop
Somewhere between the branding meeting and the governing, a head of state has discovered the elimination round, and he is not letting it go.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
President Eliminates One Adjective, Opens Runoff Between Two Survivors
A word is disqualified for its perceived association with a court; the public is invited to vote again.
dailybuffoon.com
September 20, 2026 at 2:41 PM
Somewhere between the branding meeting and the governing, a head of state has discovered the elimination round, and he is not letting it go.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
@svaneksmith.bsky.social shared the tension of the Fed's dual mandate. They're tasked with maximizing employment while keeping prices stable. What helps one goal can hurt the other. It takes two wings to fly. https://newsletter.platypuseconomics.com/p/feelings-are-economic-data-too
September 20, 2026 at 1:28 PM
@svaneksmith.bsky.social shared the tension of the Fed's dual mandate. They're tasked with maximizing employment while keeping prices stable. What helps one goal can hurt the other. It takes two wings to fly. https://newsletter.platypuseconomics.com/p/feelings-are-economic-data-too
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
Trump and Vance to Zelenskyy 18 months ago: You are losing this war. You have no cards.
Meanwhile, while Ukraine is kicking a much larger country’s ass who invaded it, Trump and Vance are losing to Iran.
Meanwhile, while Ukraine is kicking a much larger country’s ass who invaded it, Trump and Vance are losing to Iran.
September 20, 2026 at 12:18 PM
Trump and Vance to Zelenskyy 18 months ago: You are losing this war. You have no cards.
Meanwhile, while Ukraine is kicking a much larger country’s ass who invaded it, Trump and Vance are losing to Iran.
Meanwhile, while Ukraine is kicking a much larger country’s ass who invaded it, Trump and Vance are losing to Iran.
Note the sequencing: the military allegedly begged, he graciously assented, and the result is a ceremonial monument that doubles as a munitions depot overlooking a bridge people walk across.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
Commemorative Arch Reclassified As Armed Installation, Post Announces
A monument proposal arrives pre-loaded with rooftop personnel, storage requirements and a global ranking nobody has audited.
dailybuffoon.com
September 20, 2026 at 12:41 PM
Note the sequencing: the military allegedly begged, he graciously assented, and the result is a ceremonial monument that doubles as a munitions depot overlooking a bridge people walk across.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
Morning Edition, September 20. 44 stories on the wire, 94 clowns in total. Every clown was counted twice for accuracy.
dailybuffoon.com
dailybuffoon.com
September 20, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Morning Edition, September 20. 44 stories on the wire, 94 clowns in total. Every clown was counted twice for accuracy.
dailybuffoon.com
dailybuffoon.com
The post moves from old feuds to climate vocabulary to a brand-new federal entity without pausing for a transition, which is less an argument than a filing cabinet falling down the stairs.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
President Announces AI Force, Promises Czar With High I.Q.
A grievance inventory concludes with a hiring notice; qualifications to be assessed by the man hiring.
dailybuffoon.com
September 19, 2026 at 6:41 PM
The post moves from old feuds to climate vocabulary to a brand-new federal entity without pausing for a transition, which is less an argument than a filing cabinet falling down the stairs.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
A man with the nuclear codes has discovered the branding exercise, and is now polling the internet on a rechristening nobody requested for a term that has been in use since roughly the invention of the mainframe.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
President Opens Naming Poll For Technology That Already Has A Name
Commander in Chief proposes three alternatives, two of which share the same initials.
dailybuffoon.com
September 19, 2026 at 4:41 PM
A man with the nuclear codes has discovered the branding exercise, and is now polling the internet on a rechristening nobody requested for a term that has been in use since roughly the invention of the mainframe.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
Putting aside the 1st Amendment implications…it’s not like Convicted Felon Donald Trump tells the truth when the press is at the White House anyway.
September 19, 2026 at 4:03 PM
Putting aside the 1st Amendment implications…it’s not like Convicted Felon Donald Trump tells the truth when the press is at the White House anyway.
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
White House Correspondents’ Association President Jacqui Heinrich said the president himself described the move as a "ban on the free press."
WHCA President: Press Freedom 'Does Not Depend' on Whether Trump Likes the Coverage
WHCA President: Press Freedom 'Does Not Depend' on Whether Trump Likes the Coverage
www.huffpost.com
September 19, 2026 at 4:06 PM
White House Correspondents’ Association President Jacqui Heinrich said the president himself described the move as a "ban on the free press."
Morning Edition, September 19. 105 stories on the wire, 250 clowns in total. Read quietly at your own risk.
dailybuffoon.com
dailybuffoon.com
September 19, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Morning Edition, September 19. 105 stories on the wire, 250 clowns in total. Read quietly at your own risk.
dailybuffoon.com
dailybuffoon.com
A colon is a promise, and this one was broken on impact — twenty‑five items announced, zero items delivered, a ledger so empty it echoes.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
President Announces List Of Twenty‑Five Accomplishments, Omits The Accomplishments
Colon deployed; nothing follows it. The Constitution, meanwhile, still counts to two.
dailybuffoon.com
September 19, 2026 at 12:41 AM
A colon is a promise, and this one was broken on impact — twenty‑five items announced, zero items delivered, a ledger so empty it echoes.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
His dreams have all came true: most famous person on earth, in countless millions of minds every day, pulling off a multi-billion-dollar grift in plain sight. Yet still a miserably unhappy clown. Loathed and laughed at, throwing tantrums 24/7 as he heads toward lame-duck doom.
September 18, 2026 at 10:11 PM
His dreams have all came true: most famous person on earth, in countless millions of minds every day, pulling off a multi-billion-dollar grift in plain sight. Yet still a miserably unhappy clown. Loathed and laughed at, throwing tantrums 24/7 as he heads toward lame-duck doom.
Two claims here cancel each other out in the same breath: a large new military presence, and no cost to the United States — bases, it turns out, are famously self-assembling.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
President Announces Permanent Arrangement With Denmark and Greenland, Cost Listed as Zero
Announcement promises a forever clause, a free military buildup, and a veto over other nations' investments.
dailybuffoon.com
September 18, 2026 at 10:41 PM
Two claims here cancel each other out in the same breath: a large new military presence, and no cost to the United States — bases, it turns out, are famously self-assembling.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
🚨NEW: Todd Blanche has filed an appeal of Judge Emmet Sullivan’s order requiring him to turn over unredacted handwritten FBI notes and take other steps in Katie Phang’s Epstein files lawsuit by September 24. Phang says Blanche is continuing his “Herculean efforts” to avoid turning over the files.
Todd Blanche Fights Judge’s Order for Unredacted FBI Notes as Deadline Looms
Attorney General Todd Blanche is appealing a federal judge’s latest order in journalist and attorney Katie Phang’s lawsuit over the Justice Department’s
meidasnews.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:05 PM
🚨NEW: Todd Blanche has filed an appeal of Judge Emmet Sullivan’s order requiring him to turn over unredacted handwritten FBI notes and take other steps in Katie Phang’s Epstein files lawsuit by September 24. Phang says Blanche is continuing his “Herculean efforts” to avoid turning over the files.
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
New York Legal Assistance Group attorney Benjamin Remy spoke with @jrussjruss.bsky.social about the dilemma noncitizens face as the second Trump administration ramps up arrests inside immigration courthouses.
Full @sidebarcns.bsky.social episode: youtu.be/U6c1kW0DvQM?...
Full @sidebarcns.bsky.social episode: youtu.be/U6c1kW0DvQM?...
September 18, 2026 at 4:56 PM
New York Legal Assistance Group attorney Benjamin Remy spoke with @jrussjruss.bsky.social about the dilemma noncitizens face as the second Trump administration ramps up arrests inside immigration courthouses.
Full @sidebarcns.bsky.social episode: youtu.be/U6c1kW0DvQM?...
Full @sidebarcns.bsky.social episode: youtu.be/U6c1kW0DvQM?...
Morning Edition, September 18. 122 stories on the wire, 257 clowns in total. The band has been up for hours.
dailybuffoon.com
dailybuffoon.com
September 18, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Morning Edition, September 18. 122 stories on the wire, 257 clowns in total. The band has been up for hours.
dailybuffoon.com
dailybuffoon.com
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
Threatening tariffs on other countries because the Fed made a domestic rate decision makes no economic sense, and today's vote made the point for me: 12 out of 12 FOMC members voted for this hike. https://newsletter.platypuseconomics.com/p/a-tale-of-three-kevins
September 17, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Threatening tariffs on other countries because the Fed made a domestic rate decision makes no economic sense, and today's vote made the point for me: 12 out of 12 FOMC members voted for this hike. https://newsletter.platypuseconomics.com/p/a-tale-of-three-kevins
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
Trump's litmus test when choosing a new Fed chair was a pledge to cut rates, and Kevin Warsh delivered the opposite. But if Trump doesn’t like how things turned out, he has only himself to blame.
The latest edition of Receipts from @crampell.bsky.social:
The latest edition of Receipts from @crampell.bsky.social:
Here’s Who Trump Should Blame for the Rate Hike He’s Raging About
He promised lower prices and lower interest rates. His policies delivered renewed inflation and a rate hike.
lnk.thebulwark.com
September 17, 2026 at 2:14 PM
Trump's litmus test when choosing a new Fed chair was a pledge to cut rates, and Kevin Warsh delivered the opposite. But if Trump doesn’t like how things turned out, he has only himself to blame.
The latest edition of Receipts from @crampell.bsky.social:
The latest edition of Receipts from @crampell.bsky.social:
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
We just don’t talk enough about how sick in the head he is. He’s humanly incapable of caring about ANYTHING or ANYONE but himself. We don’t talk about that enough. He’s a sociopath. It explains everything he says and does. We don’t talk about that enough.👇
September 17, 2026 at 12:28 PM
We just don’t talk enough about how sick in the head he is. He’s humanly incapable of caring about ANYTHING or ANYONE but himself. We don’t talk about that enough. He’s a sociopath. It explains everything he says and does. We don’t talk about that enough.👇
A list that comes out to exactly 250 on the country's 250th birthday tells you the number got picked before the counting started. That's how a kid pads a book report, decide the length first and stretch till it fits.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
President Trump’s Top 250 Victories For People of Faith
White House claims a round 250 wins for faith, a number that arrived before anyone counted them.
dailybuffoon.com
September 17, 2026 at 12:23 PM
A list that comes out to exactly 250 on the country's 250th birthday tells you the number got picked before the counting started. That's how a kid pads a book report, decide the length first and stretch till it fits.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
Morning Edition, September 17. 144 stories on the wire, 317 clowns in total. Sound on when you’re ready.
dailybuffoon.com
dailybuffoon.com
September 17, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Morning Edition, September 17. 144 stories on the wire, 317 clowns in total. Sound on when you’re ready.
dailybuffoon.com
dailybuffoon.com
When the smartest people building a thing start quitting and warning you about it, that's worth a listen. When the man in charge answers with his own IQ, that's worth a worry.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
via @huffpost.com
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
via @huffpost.com
America Counting On Ignorant, Inattentive President To Save Us From Rogue AI
AI researchers warn of catastrophic risk while the president calls the danger a hoax and touts his own high IQ as sufficient guardrail.
dailybuffoon.com
September 17, 2026 at 5:24 AM
When the smartest people building a thing start quitting and warning you about it, that's worth a listen. When the man in charge answers with his own IQ, that's worth a worry.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
via @huffpost.com
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
via @huffpost.com
The trouble with declaring yourself the best credit in the world is that credit is a thing other people decide about you, which is precisely why it counts. A deficit is not a loss any more than a grocery bill is a mugging; you got the groceries.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
President Posts Interest Rate Demand, Signs It Again At Bottom
Trade deficits redefined as losses; remedy proposed is to stop trading with most of the planet.
dailybuffoon.com
September 16, 2026 at 10:41 PM
The trouble with declaring yourself the best credit in the world is that credit is a thing other people decide about you, which is precisely why it counts. A deficit is not a loss any more than a grocery bill is a mugging; you got the groceries.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
✒ Op-Ed: On Tuesday Kash Patel, the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, sat before the Senate Judiciary Committee for five hours and was asked, by a Republican, whether a person who has had sex with an animal can now become an FBI agent.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
Not as the Animal
It took a Republican senator four minutes to establish that the FBI is against bestiality. The paper is still checking.
dailybuffoon.com
September 16, 2026 at 8:25 PM
✒ Op-Ed: On Tuesday Kash Patel, the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, sat before the Senate Judiciary Committee for five hours and was asked, by a Republican, whether a person who has had sex with an animal can now become an FBI agent.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
… ✒ the rest is at the link.
Reposted by The Daily Buffoon
Indeed, We The People Should Be
Getting The Same Healthcare And
Paid Leave As McTurtle.......🐢
Getting The Same Healthcare And
Paid Leave As McTurtle.......🐢
September 16, 2026 at 11:09 AM
Indeed, We The People Should Be
Getting The Same Healthcare And
Paid Leave As McTurtle.......🐢
Getting The Same Healthcare And
Paid Leave As McTurtle.......🐢