DALIA MALEK ☥
@daliamalek.bsky.social
COMEDIAN WHO WEARS SHORTS ON STAGE. PLANT-BASED GOD. NOT YOUR HOMIE.
HOST OF INTERRUPTION SHOW, LIVE COMEDY SHOW & PODCAST
MY BUTT HAS A SEPARATE ACCOUNT @daliabutt.bsky.social
HOST OF INTERRUPTION SHOW, LIVE COMEDY SHOW & PODCAST
MY BUTT HAS A SEPARATE ACCOUNT @daliabutt.bsky.social
If you couldn’t believe a second trump presidency was possible you’re gonna be floored when you hear what happened with the mullet
October 2, 2026 at 12:16 PM
If you couldn’t believe a second trump presidency was possible you’re gonna be floored when you hear what happened with the mullet
My generation is aging & if we don’t stop putting all resources into AI instead of what we actually need, we’ll be facing video game-impairing arthritis without the science that ensures your grandparents & great grandparents always have access to mario
October 1, 2026 at 10:51 PM
My generation is aging & if we don’t stop putting all resources into AI instead of what we actually need, we’ll be facing video game-impairing arthritis without the science that ensures your grandparents & great grandparents always have access to mario
When i stopped fixing typos on socials i truly became free
September 22, 2026 at 6:47 PM
When i stopped fixing typos on socials i truly became free
I AM NOT A RAPPER & I DO NOT HAVE HIP HOP CONTACTS
@daliamalek.bsky.social, please pass this along to your archaeology and hip hop contacts.
September 18, 2026 at 7:29 PM
I AM NOT A RAPPER & I DO NOT HAVE HIP HOP CONTACTS
Can someone who was alive in the 70s explain all the contact lens jokes on tv
September 18, 2026 at 7:28 PM
Can someone who was alive in the 70s explain all the contact lens jokes on tv
I have deleted my post out of respect but my position regarding jasons remains anti
August 17, 2026 at 5:07 PM
I have deleted my post out of respect but my position regarding jasons remains anti
*letter to neighbors* hey, as you know we're right next door & every night this week you've cooked a separate delicious thing--not illegal, but when GODPLEASETELLMEWHATTHATIS wafts over it forces us to reckon with our struggle meals while we're also juggling the lie that we like being vegan so pleas
August 15, 2026 at 4:51 PM
*letter to neighbors* hey, as you know we're right next door & every night this week you've cooked a separate delicious thing--not illegal, but when GODPLEASETELLMEWHATTHATIS wafts over it forces us to reckon with our struggle meals while we're also juggling the lie that we like being vegan so pleas
We've reached the part of climate change where england gets wildfire alerts but not window screens, what could go wrong?
August 14, 2026 at 6:18 PM
We've reached the part of climate change where england gets wildfire alerts but not window screens, what could go wrong?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO READ SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS WHILE BEING ASSAULTED BY BEEEEEEP
August 14, 2026 at 6:03 PM
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO READ SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS WHILE BEING ASSAULTED BY BEEEEEEP
I did not do the stupid thing trump did of ignoring a warning & looking directly at a solar eclipse, i did the totally separate smart thing of looking directly at the solar eclipse because i forgot there was a solar eclipse
August 12, 2026 at 6:30 PM
I did not do the stupid thing trump did of ignoring a warning & looking directly at a solar eclipse, i did the totally separate smart thing of looking directly at the solar eclipse because i forgot there was a solar eclipse
Boobs should come with season-based settings
August 12, 2026 at 6:24 PM
Boobs should come with season-based settings
No matter what anyone remembers about obama, it does not compare to actually re-listening to his tone in "we tortured some folks," just staggering, absolutely breathtaking
August 7, 2026 at 5:30 PM
No matter what anyone remembers about obama, it does not compare to actually re-listening to his tone in "we tortured some folks," just staggering, absolutely breathtaking
Men who look like a thumb are having their moment
August 6, 2026 at 8:42 AM
Men who look like a thumb are having their moment
I just want to say that i love capitalism, capitalism saved my life, no one made me say this, i'm so grateful
August 5, 2026 at 6:23 PM
I just want to say that i love capitalism, capitalism saved my life, no one made me say this, i'm so grateful
I know i say this about a lot of people but I genuinely thought he was dead. Is he really not dead? If he’s not dead, who is?
no we aren't. no it isn't. that isn't true
August 1, 2026 at 9:22 PM
I know i say this about a lot of people but I genuinely thought he was dead. Is he really not dead? If he’s not dead, who is?
How’s my social life? the last text i got was from a bidet company informing me of a debate about folding vs scrunching toilet paper that has apparently been ongoing for years
July 31, 2026 at 7:21 PM
How’s my social life? the last text i got was from a bidet company informing me of a debate about folding vs scrunching toilet paper that has apparently been ongoing for years
If you're keeping a constitution you've had for a few hundred years, that's a red flag & you're a hoarder
July 27, 2026 at 7:56 PM
If you're keeping a constitution you've had for a few hundred years, that's a red flag & you're a hoarder
Read the bill of rights & couldn't wait to put it down
July 27, 2026 at 7:54 PM
Read the bill of rights & couldn't wait to put it down
Finally got around to reading the US constitution, it's shit
July 27, 2026 at 7:53 PM
Finally got around to reading the US constitution, it's shit
This is how i looked exactly 3 weeks before i died
July 27, 2026 at 6:24 PM
This is how i looked exactly 3 weeks before i died
I have always considered lindsey graham & mitch mcconnell to be the same person, so you can imagine what a disappointing few weeks it’s been
July 26, 2026 at 9:17 PM
I have always considered lindsey graham & mitch mcconnell to be the same person, so you can imagine what a disappointing few weeks it’s been
Reposted by DALIA MALEK ☥
Wanna feel old? This is what the members of Run the Jewels look like now.
July 26, 2026 at 1:48 PM
Wanna feel old? This is what the members of Run the Jewels look like now.
Trying to understand how one of the world’s most prolific rapists managed to commit his crimes in broad daylight without instantly dissolving into ash
July 26, 2026 at 9:11 PM
Trying to understand how one of the world’s most prolific rapists managed to commit his crimes in broad daylight without instantly dissolving into ash
Reposted by DALIA MALEK ☥
remembering the greatest interview of all time
April 10, 2024 at 3:38 AM
remembering the greatest interview of all time
Chatting with AI & socialized as a woman:
Is it [delete]
Help me find [delete]
Please find [delete]
Sorry to bother you, this is a really stupid question 🤪 but if you have time (no rush!) I was just wondering if it’s normal to request a raise after 25 years or is that rude 🫣 thank you so much
Is it [delete]
Help me find [delete]
Please find [delete]
Sorry to bother you, this is a really stupid question 🤪 but if you have time (no rush!) I was just wondering if it’s normal to request a raise after 25 years or is that rude 🫣 thank you so much
July 22, 2026 at 8:33 AM
Chatting with AI & socialized as a woman:
Is it [delete]
Help me find [delete]
Please find [delete]
Sorry to bother you, this is a really stupid question 🤪 but if you have time (no rush!) I was just wondering if it’s normal to request a raise after 25 years or is that rude 🫣 thank you so much
Is it [delete]
Help me find [delete]
Please find [delete]
Sorry to bother you, this is a really stupid question 🤪 but if you have time (no rush!) I was just wondering if it’s normal to request a raise after 25 years or is that rude 🫣 thank you so much