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Dr Harold News
@drharoldnews.bsky.social
Fake news and topical satire from Dr Harold. Quoted by Reuters. FOLLOW for the latest Breaking News
Bertie Ahern says Elon Musk could avoid paying tax by claiming he won his trillion dollars on the horses.
June 18, 2026 at 7:53 PM
Ray D'Arcy says since being sacked by RTÉ, he's really struggling to find another job that pays €10,000 per hour.
June 16, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Simon Harris says in Fine Gael's blueprint for a United Ireland, each of the six counties would receive funding to build its own bike shed.
June 16, 2026 at 10:12 PM
BREAKING: Alan Shatter has spontaneously combusted after learning that Kneecap’s ‘Fenian’ has gone straight to Number 1 in the Irish charts.
May 8, 2026 at 7:20 PM
Jennifer Carroll MacNeill says criticism of the National Children’s Hospital cost ignores the fact that it will feature a world-class bike shed.
May 8, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Shoppers urged to beware of online scams after one woman paid €127K for a bike shed.
May 8, 2026 at 2:23 PM
Micheál Martin says early estimates suggest that constructing a nuclear power plant in Ireland would cost roughly the same as building two bike sheds.
May 8, 2026 at 2:22 PM
EXCLUSIVE: Sneak Peek at the Programme for Government
January 14, 2025 at 5:24 PM
BREAKING: Clare Hotel Owner Announces Plan To Invade Greenland
January 10, 2025 at 6:41 PM
The face you make when Simon Harris asks if preparing to play The Penguin involved spending time with real penguins.
January 6, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Bono says the name 'Bono' is of Hebrew origin and means 'man who ignores injustice'.
January 4, 2025 at 6:19 PM
An Apology.

Earlier today we caused some upset by claiming that Bono's US Presidential Medal of Freedom is for services to Israel and Tax Avoidance.

We apologise to those affected. There was of course no excuse for failing to mention that the medal is also for being a Tory.
January 4, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Bono Awarded US Presidential Medal of Freedom for Services to Israel and Tax Avoidance
January 4, 2025 at 1:12 PM
FOR SALE: One Brennans Sliced Bread Loaf. Willing to swap for a 3-bedroom-apartment in Dublin.
January 3, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Bertie Ahern says his New Year’s resolution is to support the environment by encouraging people to send him money via Revolut instead of giving him brown envelopes.
January 1, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Happy New Year to everyone from Cork!

Thank you for laughing along and supporting this page over the past year. Here’s to a more equal, caring, and peaceful world in 2025 ❤️
December 31, 2024 at 9:11 PM
Bono says his New Year's resolution is to spend more time pretending to care about injustice.
December 31, 2024 at 3:53 PM
Ford's entire car stock in Ireland will be sold out by this time tomorrow.
December 30, 2024 at 10:31 PM
Eamon Ryan says if aliens visit Earth in 2025, he would not rule out the Green Party going into coalition with them.
December 30, 2024 at 6:24 PM
Great news - Star Trek wasn't wrong! I've just rewatched the episode and found the full quote.
December 30, 2024 at 2:20 PM
BREAKING: RTÉ News Wins Israeli News Station of the Year
December 29, 2024 at 2:36 PM
"As a boy growing up in Finglas, I was beaten up every day by the local Orangemen, Your Majesty."
December 28, 2024 at 7:16 PM
BREAKING: Newly surfaced photo of Queen Elizabeth with Kneecap threatens to cause uproar in Orange Order.
December 28, 2024 at 1:54 PM
Live scenes on Grafton Street as people wait for Bono to arrive:
December 24, 2024 at 4:30 PM
Bertie Ahern says when he was a child, instead of presents, Santa used leave brown envelopes under the Christmas tree.
December 24, 2024 at 2:40 PM