Esme del Jardin
@esmedeljardin.bsky.social
The way my cat stares at my arms not petting him is both heatbraking and hilarious.
October 7, 2026 at 5:20 PM
The way my cat stares at my arms not petting him is both heatbraking and hilarious.
Im sure glad my cat has a short attention span, cause he does NOT like baths.
September 2, 2026 at 11:08 PM
Im sure glad my cat has a short attention span, cause he does NOT like baths.
Shout out to my local farmer's markets for keeping me diarrhea-free!
Shop local if you can. Many markets offer matching for SNAP. Check this directory or your local city directory for a market or farm stand near you. Stay healthy, my friends. www.ams.usda.gov/local-food-d...
Shop local if you can. Many markets offer matching for SNAP. Check this directory or your local city directory for a market or farm stand near you. Stay healthy, my friends. www.ams.usda.gov/local-food-d...
www.ams.usda.gov
August 26, 2026 at 1:08 PM
Shout out to my local farmer's markets for keeping me diarrhea-free!
Shop local if you can. Many markets offer matching for SNAP. Check this directory or your local city directory for a market or farm stand near you. Stay healthy, my friends. www.ams.usda.gov/local-food-d...
Shop local if you can. Many markets offer matching for SNAP. Check this directory or your local city directory for a market or farm stand near you. Stay healthy, my friends. www.ams.usda.gov/local-food-d...
I don't need AI to mimic the voice and speech of humans so corporations can replace CS agents with soulless robots or Grannies can get scammed out of their pensions. I need AI to explain to my cat that despite my efforts and willingness to do so, I am incapable of petting him with more than 2 hands.
August 13, 2026 at 5:34 PM
I don't need AI to mimic the voice and speech of humans so corporations can replace CS agents with soulless robots or Grannies can get scammed out of their pensions. I need AI to explain to my cat that despite my efforts and willingness to do so, I am incapable of petting him with more than 2 hands.
Submitted without comment. www.facebook.com/historyofmus...
32K views · 740 reactions | Frank Zappa saw America's future before anyone else did | History of Music
Frank Zappa saw America's future before anyone else did
www.facebook.com
June 18, 2026 at 5:06 AM
Submitted without comment. www.facebook.com/historyofmus...
Day sleeping is the new day drinking
May 15, 2026 at 10:02 PM
Day sleeping is the new day drinking
About to go on vacation without my work laptop. First time in 10 years. A little out of sorts, tbh, gonna be super weird. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time
May 14, 2026 at 2:53 PM
About to go on vacation without my work laptop. First time in 10 years. A little out of sorts, tbh, gonna be super weird. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time
I was typing "Magats" and my predictive text thought I was Gatsby, and I think maybe it wasnt entirely wrong.
April 10, 2026 at 1:03 AM
I was typing "Magats" and my predictive text thought I was Gatsby, and I think maybe it wasnt entirely wrong.
A remake of Star Wars, but when Princess Leia says "Aren't you a little short to be a Storm Trooper" Luke just tells her to piss-off and then leaves.
March 23, 2026 at 7:33 PM
A remake of Star Wars, but when Princess Leia says "Aren't you a little short to be a Storm Trooper" Luke just tells her to piss-off and then leaves.
Im gonna get some grief about this, but I've seen Armageddon several times, and despite the extremely talented cast, this is one of the worst movies to ever come out of Gen-X. I mean... come on.... Close Encounters pre-dates this, and all we get is Bruce Willis in a tank top, but in space.
March 15, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Im gonna get some grief about this, but I've seen Armageddon several times, and despite the extremely talented cast, this is one of the worst movies to ever come out of Gen-X. I mean... come on.... Close Encounters pre-dates this, and all we get is Bruce Willis in a tank top, but in space.
Since they're rewriting so many old shows to be dark and moody, how about a reboot of Columbo where it turns out he's just hallucinating his wife.
February 12, 2026 at 6:30 PM
Since they're rewriting so many old shows to be dark and moody, how about a reboot of Columbo where it turns out he's just hallucinating his wife.
The average girth of adults in the US has increased substantially in the last 50 years, and many will say it's due to inactivity and processed food. But Ive been watching shows from 60's-70's lately, and I think it's all down to daytime drinking. We need to bring back martini lunches.
February 9, 2026 at 1:22 PM
The average girth of adults in the US has increased substantially in the last 50 years, and many will say it's due to inactivity and processed food. But Ive been watching shows from 60's-70's lately, and I think it's all down to daytime drinking. We need to bring back martini lunches.
Fyi, cats are so cute when they sneeze.
February 4, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Fyi, cats are so cute when they sneeze.
Credit card companies be like "Hey, we noticed you have a credit card with us, would you like 3 more?" RIP forests.
January 27, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Credit card companies be like "Hey, we noticed you have a credit card with us, would you like 3 more?" RIP forests.
OMG, I just remembered I changed my sheets and shaved my legs today. I should have gone to bed HOURS AGO!!! Anyhoo, Happy New Year, everyone! Get some rest, this shit ain't over.
In the immortal words of Cat on Rope: hang in there
In the immortal words of Cat on Rope: hang in there
January 1, 2026 at 9:37 AM
OMG, I just remembered I changed my sheets and shaved my legs today. I should have gone to bed HOURS AGO!!! Anyhoo, Happy New Year, everyone! Get some rest, this shit ain't over.
In the immortal words of Cat on Rope: hang in there
In the immortal words of Cat on Rope: hang in there
Whenever you breathe, you are inhaling plant poop. You're welcome.
December 28, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Whenever you breathe, you are inhaling plant poop. You're welcome.
There seems to be a lot of confusion over inflation and the health of the economy. Let me clear this up: When Trump says the economy is great, he means that he is making a ton of money. When he says that inflation is down, he means that he is paying less on bribes than he used to. Hope that helps.
December 16, 2025 at 4:23 PM
There seems to be a lot of confusion over inflation and the health of the economy. Let me clear this up: When Trump says the economy is great, he means that he is making a ton of money. When he says that inflation is down, he means that he is paying less on bribes than he used to. Hope that helps.
I don't know who needs to hear this right now, but the future just called and it said "Bitch, I love you"
December 7, 2025 at 3:53 AM
I don't know who needs to hear this right now, but the future just called and it said "Bitch, I love you"
Dear Hallmark Christmas Movie Department (whoever you are): Running in high heals does not break the heal. It just doesn't. Get your shit together.
December 7, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Dear Hallmark Christmas Movie Department (whoever you are): Running in high heals does not break the heal. It just doesn't. Get your shit together.
"I can't hang out after work, I have chores to do"
My chores:
My chores:
November 24, 2025 at 11:46 PM
"I can't hang out after work, I have chores to do"
My chores:
My chores:
The hardest part of shopping for a Haunted Doll is that you can't tell if they are haunted or not until after you take them home, and no one does refunds anymore.
November 24, 2025 at 4:31 PM
The hardest part of shopping for a Haunted Doll is that you can't tell if they are haunted or not until after you take them home, and no one does refunds anymore.
The look of disappointment on my cat's face when I said "I know you're faking it" will bring me great pleasure in my afterlife. He says.
November 20, 2025 at 4:16 AM
The look of disappointment on my cat's face when I said "I know you're faking it" will bring me great pleasure in my afterlife. He says.
I can't even imagine the range of emotions Trump is going through right now. Not only is there fear and anger watching his Pedo house of cards fall apart around him, but he's also learning that his BFF Epstein never actually liked him. That one's gotta sting.
November 13, 2025 at 7:53 PM
I can't even imagine the range of emotions Trump is going through right now. Not only is there fear and anger watching his Pedo house of cards fall apart around him, but he's also learning that his BFF Epstein never actually liked him. That one's gotta sting.
I said Bloody Mary in the mirror 3 times yesterday, and NOTHING has happened. Does anyone know the timeline for these things?
November 12, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I said Bloody Mary in the mirror 3 times yesterday, and NOTHING has happened. Does anyone know the timeline for these things?
I think what I like most about all the Jurassic movies is how early in the movies the dinosaurs start eating the people. It's so early. Like, I'm just barely settled on the couch under my dinosaur quilt and the screaming starts.
November 7, 2025 at 11:35 PM
I think what I like most about all the Jurassic movies is how early in the movies the dinosaurs start eating the people. It's so early. Like, I'm just barely settled on the couch under my dinosaur quilt and the screaming starts.