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exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
ExhibitPhotoPDX
@exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
760 followers 210 following 650 posts
A Federally-registered pirate with a long history of a good time. Also fairly obsessed with back roads, out-of-the-way places and finding out who YOU want to be today. Will claim to have driven almost every major dirt road in the PNW and beyond.
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exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
By gosh and golly, apparently these haven't seen the light of day. They HAVE gone off as part of a "meadow retrospective" for a magazine but not quite like this....@jordanrivermuse always being herself. #autumn #sunflowers #bnw #mood #pdxphotographer #theshooting
I tell this story a lot because I think it's inspiring. I met Jordan waaaaay back when I was unsure which end of the camera pointed at the people and our first shoots were absolutely terrible on my part. SHE seemed like some kind of witchy royalty and I was more than slightly intimidated until I actually MET her and realized that one of her many cores consisted mainly of goofball humor and a fast smile. She wasn't any more sure of herself than I was and with some persistence we finally started hitting magic every time we went out. This particular shoot was literally a 30-minute meadow romp and everything was a keeper. Amazing. I would take her anywhere as a creative partner, if only just to dig into our conversation. It's been a decade now and I think we can stand on real trust in one another to make something meaningful. But the experiences and emotions that I bring to each image won't be the same thing that another viewer sees when they stop and study the moment. It's always something we bring with us that we see.
October 8, 2026 at 2:52 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
We all have our favorites. #shakeitoff #muse #archive #pdxphotographer #longhair
The idea of the art nude spans a wide swath. Is it a fashion model mostly out of a bikini or a pose model with hands gracefully held aloft? Yes, although neither of those are my favorite. Is it erotic? Perhaps, although I would argue that erotica is its own genre and that the INTENT of art nude is elsewhere. Perhaps there is deshabille and a rise of bosom or a bit of macro where an intriguing line gives way to shadow? All of that, yes. Honestly, the art nude can range from a classical harvest setting to something like this late-night fire scene. Straight posing TENDS to leave me cold -- my preference leaning toward candid intimacy, a less staged appearance. I'd love to reshoot this moment and use a tighter lens to peer under the mass of hair and accentuate the shadowy world, use the hair as a division between exterior and interior. But one of my perennial tensions is between an appreciation of what I might call "parts photography", that more-macro approach to the bend of a knee or the undulating Kansas of musculature, and the really insistent desire to see an entire person. I bristle when I see someone reduced to tits and ass by framing or crop -- I want to take them in and be able to understand them holistically. Even anonymity such as this makes me feel as if I'm somehow failing them as a person by fetishizing their hair and curves. I sometimes enjoy it in the work of others but find it anathema in my own moments. The entirety of art nude is engrossing, captivating, and yet I find my own resonance in a very particular and narrow niche of it despite my best attempts to ape and mimic my peers and betters. It also takes a unique person to forget themselves in front of a camera, to shake themselves out and be free of anything but the moment, which is why we all continue to look for those souls who resonate with our own unique fires and hold dear the memory of the ones we have known.
September 30, 2026 at 2:24 PM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
It's really hard to get into the project of sync'ing a bunch of old computers when THIS sort of thing is just waiting in the edit queue. @ivoryflamemodel.bsky.social (who doesn't appear to use this much). Some sort of ramble in the alt-text.
I don't know who had the brilliant idea to put Wire Train between Tyler Childers and The Beach Boys on this playlist but it was me. I did it. If only I could take as much credit for the mood and stylings of this shoot. But no. True to form, I threw a bunch of things into hurried boxes and made some semi-smart decisions about lenses and we were off. Ivory immediately found a mood that I had SENSED but not KNOWN and plucked just enough out of my model-costume-suitcase to come up with our own version of English Romanticism In The New World. This pretty much holds true for every model I've ever worked with. If I can cart around four or six different ideas we'll find something that resonates and abandon everything else to chase the rabbit of possibility. Sometimes it's just enough to get us laughing and then once we've broken THAT barrier things will begin to flow differently. It's a tenuous compact -- photographer, model, and environment. Throw six different models into the same set and you're likely to get seven different moods. And then all that gets translated through the ineffable calculus of technology as lens and sensor and settings do their thing. Some years ago I was on a late-night walk in Key West, pondering a giant bird cage with a "free" sign on a sidewalk, when I met the owner. That conversation led to me standing with another guest, similarly armed with her Canon and a comparable lens, taking some shots of parrots the next morning. After a bit we came to a point and swapped cameras to see each others work. Her parrots were light and airy, Disney dancers with a saucy look. Mine were pirates -- dark and foreboding, side-eyeing more-sober viewers warily. Similar cameras and glass, same angle, same light. LOL.
September 25, 2026 at 3:54 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
Harkening back to summer and an absolutely wonderful morning (before the birdwatchers were up). #camping #roadtrip #Oregon #pdxphotographer #stylized
For just a moment it felt like "the good old days" and it's important to remember that no matter how bleak we might feel there really WERE those times and there will be again. I'm feeling a bit maudlin, perhaps some post-shoot letdown. This was a beautiful morning with beautiful people. We had already been out at the beach and had a wonderful hour to shoot unmolested and this little pullout had great light and we jumped on it. These moments are a bit of a brigadoon and I certainly cherish them.
September 24, 2026 at 6:49 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
Candid thoughts and sober reflection in the alt-text. But can we just ADMIRE the sheer awesomeness that is English legend Ivory Flame? #redhead #artmodel #pose #emotional #firstcontact #lighting #nudeart #beautiful
I am, proudly, a hobbyist photographer. That was driven home when I tried to take a picture of something normal mere minutes after this image....and really just couldn't do it. Defeated by an object. I will never be a PRODUCT photographer and I'm OK with that. I've been very open about my photography origin story (breakup! revenge! lol) if only to strike a blow for every GWC who is really trying to create something meaningful in their own lives and maybe making art as part of their progress. I know mailmen and bureaucrats and call center workers who enthusiastically (and I should add, RESPECTFULLY) support touring models and have found it a great way to break out of daily life and do something artistic and fulfilling. I love the process of meeting a new person and going on this intimate deep-dive into a process with them. I have to say that Ivory was an amazing creative partner. Much like Lucy.Artmodel, Ivory has a determination to get a better shot and the knowledge and experience to back it up. Ivory's persona and niche has always struck me as a sort of British Romantic Realism and the setting I chose meshed well with it while also allowing each of us to play to our strengths. As a hobbyist, I am free to indulge in running to a type and this certainly fit into it. My first True Love, a very long time ago, was a tiny redhead spitfire who remains (and time bore this out) one of the smartest cookies in the bin. My first marriage was to a curly-haired Irish ginger who wouldn't be out of place in any of my work. My last crush (or two) surfaced repeatedly during this shoot -- Ivory would reach into a mood or attitude and I would experience a shiver of deja vu and SEE hints of someone else peeking out of her English propriety. Amazing. I was instantly enamored of her -- she is just wonderful to work with. Particularly in the early learning curve of the photographic landscape, I connected the dots between models and photographers to understand the ecosystem. A favorite model introduced me to new photographers and I saw who THEY worked with and the circle widened. It was quickly obvious that certain photographers run to certain looks in their model. Some like high-glamour, some want big curves. Although I joke about marrying a lot of redheads, I have a fairly varied partner history from short to tall, curvy to thin. The common denominator has been that they've all been unique and striking women, none could be described as shy. When my tall Hungarian former-model girlfriend deconstructed our relationship, she informed me that the art world would be HER purview because SHE was an artist and I was not. LOL. That happened to coincide with a moment of inspiration on my part, watching patterns of light wrap around aerial dancers, that shoved me toward buying a camera. A few months later a friend saw what I was doing and offered me a coffee shop show and I sold my first pieces (to a lesbian bookstore, no less) which put me first in the "I sold art" competition. Which is stupid and my little revenge trip dropped away quickly as I fell in love with the community and the engagement. My point here is simply that, like a lot of GWC's, I am simply shooting what resonates with me. I do suspect that I have perhaps-more life experience (a decade at Burning Man, a decade of travel, a decade fronting a post-punk band....business owner, multiple marriages, a lot of adventures) than your typical 9-5'er who dabbles in nude art twice a year. I am FULLY capable of falling in love with exceptional women but also fully capable of being a human being throughout. It can be STAGGERING to have the attention of a beautiful woman turned on you, even if they don't mean it. Experience helps temper that. And I think that the affection and respect show through.
September 23, 2026 at 5:11 PM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
Preconceptions vs the moment.

This might be a deep nuance but I'm ridiculously happy when I can produce an image that does not mesh with someone's general persona. More in the alt-text since I'm about to run out of characters here..... #shadows #gorgeous #pdxphotographer #redhead #figure #form
To start with, yes, of course, I'm aware that models simply don't publish work that doesn't fit their chosen image yet likely are handed interesting images all the time. I get it. Ivory Flame is (to me) something of a legend -- a model I've seen out and about in the world since I began this schtick and who has this amazing British Romantic Realism vibe that is uniquely her own. I was STOKED to hear she was heading toward Oregon because it's not every day I get to work with LEGENDS and this shoot was all that AND a bag of chips. First off, she is simply wonderful. A great vibe and one of those striking models who are bigger on-camera. I have things to chew on for the foreseeable future as she moved through the shoot with a determination to create the best shot we could. Have I used the word "amazing" TOO much yet? Not possible. I have, on more than one occasion, semi-joke that I am skewing my understanding of human beauty but the actual fact is that most of the best models I know could walk past you on the street and you wouldn't look twice. They tend to be nondescript in dress and manner (and, yes, there ARE exceptions, so don't come at me!), yet transform into unique and striking figures in front of the lens. Were I to meet Ivory in an English tea parlor I might imagine her a school teacher -- her kindness and softness perhaps particularly attractive to elementary children. These are probably qualities that help a great model navigate the world of aging photographers in search of images promoting eternal youth. As I take a first look through our images I am struck by her chameleon nature and clear sense of DRIVE to make something wonderful. I don't think that I was particularly challenging her but I certainly appreciate the malleability and determination she brought to our work. Wowee, zowee!
September 23, 2026 at 1:59 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
Yes, I edited this on my phone using prosumer tools. I like it. Tomorrow is another day.
I think I’m a little leery of working with new people. Not because of any bad experience but just because. But I had a great vibe about Ivory Flame. She is legend. And of course it just worked like that. Clearly an exceptional human.
September 22, 2026 at 7:01 AM
Reposted by ExhibitPhotoPDX
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
I am never not enamored of this.
December 4, 2024 at 7:19 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
I don't think I've ever posted this in the wider world. Long-time muse and amazing creative partner HaileyJ in frame. More in the alt-text. #fadingsummer #meadow #classic #pose #muse #strong #bold #beautiful #environmentalnude #nudeinnature
This year marked a full decade of photography. From an enthusiastic start with saturated colors to the discovery of The Great Outdoors to finally a more considered portrait focus, it's been an amazing journey. Hailey was one of the first people I met and I remain duly impressed with her quietly adventurous spirit and practical eclecticism. More than anyone else, she and I have wandered through conversations that really made me think and brought me to re-evaluate those thoughts. Over the years I've spoken to other photographers whose reaction to my home base of Portland has been to immediate exclaim "That's where Hailey is from! She's WONDERFUL!" This image is part of a series that remain among my immediate favorites and which I continue to return to in search of some magic edit that will pour the experience of the day over the viewer. I don't know what YOU see in it because to me it comes with a whole day of experiences wrapped around it as well as YEARS of adventure and smiles. Hailey (and other wonderful local models those first years) illuminated a niche that I didn't even realize existed when I threw myself into it. I began to picture an ecosystem that introduced me to an entire history of photography and the wandering women who inspire and inhabit the flood of imagery that creates the pixels of our world. It's really amazing. I open websites or follow rabbit holes and here are the faces of my friends set central to other visions. And I think it's wonderful. It's so inspiring to see the wide wild weird world of human imagination channeled through and bent, like light around gravity, by their presence.
September 15, 2026 at 4:17 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
There is an argument in my mind regarding figurative art. I am willing to accept the idea that I actually AM the dreaded "male gaze" -- no argument. I think @jordanrivermuse.bsky.social is stunningly beautiful but I'd argue that....oh hell....goddamn text limit...more in the alt-text.
Over the years I've had the thought that Jordan and I are saying the same thing but in different languages. I won't make any apologies for preferring to work with models whom I adore -- it's their presence and conviviality that make the shoots FUN and I am, after all, a freaking hobbyist so FUN is what should be happening. I was INCREDIBLY intimidated by Jordan before our first meeting, now almost a decade ago. She had shot with some photographers I really admired and her tag-line was "the witch is IN" and I was all-too-aware that I had no idea what I was doing when I reached out to her. I wish I could say that the first shoot was all that and a bag of chips but I was, honestly, just awful. There were a number of things that I was attempting that did not lend themselves to success and I had a few basic technical misunderstandings that sabotaged everything I did. And I think that I didn't really offer the set and setting that was going to resonate with Jordan. It's taken a while. But at some point things started to click and my stubbornness paid off and I can anticipate that our meetups will be productive and hilarious and maybe ridiculous in the best of ways. I "believe" (and I put that in quotes deliberately) that Jordan is working out a puzzle within herself that I'm not privy to but that I can learn to anticipate. She has a particular approach to modeling that lends itself to universal imagery and a particular urge toward ridiculousness. I had expected to meet a terrifying and imposing figure and what I got was a warm and witty collaborator. Figurative art continues to amaze me with its variations. I'm not much interested in glam or bikini-esque styles. THIS picture could be considered being "about" boobs but there's a mood and emotion that really makes the nudity secondary. Do we NEED nudity? I dunno. I find that I'll come around a corner and see some amazing vista and my SECOND thought is that there should be a nude right over THERE and the pose should probably be uplifting or downcast or from behind or just proud. I can't imagine things without a nude. My bad? I don't think so. I want to shoot work that is gorgeous and emotional and something that we can look at and imagine stories. I don't think bikini fulfills those criteria, in general. In the various platforms I see a LOT of amazing work that inspires me to do better -- anything by Frances in Frame, for example -- and I'm pretty hard on myself. I can easily get caught up in the sheer erotic beauty of a woman. Truth. Women are just gorgeous. I have always appreciated that. I've seen a lot of cautions to never say such things but I don't think that a truly appreciative "THAT is BEAUTIFUL" is weird or disliked. That IS within a context of professionalism -- I'm not saying it leeringly or sexually. When I turn the camera around and share the image I think my collaborator is going to agree that THAT is beautiful! Perhaps it's advancing age (dear god, am I old enough to say that?) but I just adore my regular models. At this point I'm tending toward women in their 30's or 40's or 50's. No offense to dewy 18-yr-olds but for the most part they simply don't have the life experience to present themselves as people. LOL. There's another story there but I'm out of space again....
September 4, 2026 at 4:42 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
I'm always so amazed at the innumerable and endless ways that a creative mind can find to present themselves. Hailey and I have had long conversations (which I must admit have deeply informed my thinking) in which I've been able to watch her turn an idea around...more in the alt-text.
Hailey never left an idea unmolested. I see the same trait in many of my model friends -- a tenacious desire to get the shot, to find a new pose, to draw energy and inspiration out of a new location. Over and over again I find myself thinking that providing a setting and maybe a mood is the photographers biggest job when it comes to turning a great model loose to play. When I began, I'd review a shoot and see certain images that "worked" for me. A few years later I returned to the archives and would find totally different images that suddenly held more meaning and depth. When I open them up now I see the way the model works to the light, maneuvers with or against my movements. I see the determination. It's also cool to see how different models handle the same set -- I've returned to a handful of ideas over time and even something as simple as a particular rock can evoke so many different moods. This shoot, inspired by murky lighting from the top of the box truck and a free roadside piano, didn't need anything else but the slickness of the coconut oil gave it a weird twist. I ran it twice with two fantastic models and each veered into their own interpretation, each fantastic. You can find more from this in the summer '24 issue of ION-Magazine (which I highly recommend -- a labor of love for figurative art that is well worth checking out!).
September 2, 2026 at 2:51 PM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
The irrepressible and wonderful @joeydarke.bsky.social channeling a little demon. #myth #fantasy #pdxphotographer #oregonmodel #redhead #pale
September 2, 2026 at 12:50 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
While THAT house party was an awesome collection of old people in t-shirts trumpeting their allegiance to bands of the 90's, I also went out with an ace band to do a couple backyard parties for overly-wealthy boomers....more in the alt-text.
August 18, 2026 at 3:05 AM
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I haven't been posting a lot because it's SUMMER and I've been out having a ball. Our summer concert series at Topaz Farm sold out almost all the shows and every band has been wonderful. I did two very different house parties this past week...more in the alt-text.
August 18, 2026 at 3:00 AM
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It's summer and I'm not around the internet as much (because....summer!) HOWEVER I had some wine last night and got snacky and the only thing I could find were some mushroom chocolates and SURELY this little nibble wouldn't DO anything.....lol. I woke up at 4am high AF.
August 11, 2026 at 1:35 PM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
The eternal dichotomy. I'm a working stiff so summer has become where the work is and I'd rather be playing. Boo. Hiss. Now, on the bright side, work is OK -- I'll be mixing Horse Feathers as they do a "chamber Americana" performance in the meadow next week. Not bad. More in the alt-text.
July 31, 2026 at 4:53 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
Hoooooboy. Have to take apart my favorite camera/lens combo and figure out wtf happened on the last shoot. I've had a stuck focal point before, and KNEW it had happened earlier in the day, but thought I had managed to get it unstuck. Not the case. Fuuuuuuuck. #goddamnit #makeitartsy
July 16, 2026 at 3:32 AM
Reposted by ExhibitPhotoPDX
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
The internet is almost like the Old Days in that people simple move on and disappear. More in the alt-text....
#mask #pierced #captured #photoshoot #pdxphotographer #snowday
I think I met Nicholas in Portland's Galleria, a shopping center built around an elevator. He was a gaunt goth-y kid whose musical tastes ran all the way from Gary Numan to Bauhaus. For about 45 days we tried to form a band in the basement of a bike messenger house riddled with fleas and runaway teenagers. I don't think I lived there longer than two months before I fled for somewhere with a reliable shower and without a large hornet nest in the oven. We didn't have personal phones in those days and nobody could afford a landline. I probably didn't tell anybody where I was going and I never saw Nicholas again. There had been a curvy redhead gal who worked at the local pizza joint and brought end-of-night leftovers so that she could sit on the stairs and watch us struggle with our instruments. Never saw her again, either. Likewise, I've met some really amazing people via photography. I've never pushed for a lot of persona information and sometimes they just vanish into the internet, never to be seen again. This image features "A", a model I contacted on ModelMayhem and who went the extra mile to make it to a remote location through a snowstorm. I was suitably impressed and a year later she contacted me to do some maternity pictures for her, which I think came out really well. I heard from her again when she was moving to Portland but since then all of her contact points have bounced back and I don't know how her story goes . It's too bad -- we talked about doing some baby pictures and I really enjoy working with people through the passage of time. Looking back at this afternoon in a remote cabin makes me think about what the next shoot might have been like....
May 15, 2025 at 4:15 AM
Reposted by ExhibitPhotoPDX
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
One rambling cabin in the dark woods on a dark day. One bright light in the middle of the room. What ghosts emerge?
September 3, 2025 at 8:58 PM
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exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
We were in one of the more remote parts of the Death Valley complex and the phrase of the week was "extraordinary rendition". Just another year of America doing stupid things in its supposed "defense". #desert #cactus #deathvalley #improbable #pdxphotographer #roadtrip #redwine
We had stopped at this particular juncture because we were lost. Well...not LOST but we assuredly were confused by the map we were following and why it was no longer tracking with our surroundings. Our GOAL was a semi-mythical spring and we had come up over the pass, snow lining the road at the top, and carefully picked our way back down into summer. Everything perfectly on the map. And then nothing was on the map and the map didn't bear any resemblance to where we were and things kept getting less and less traveled (even by backcountry DV standards) and then it all just petered out and we were alone in a cactus-adorned valley. Seemed like a good place to take some pictures and have some lunch and eye our rapidly-dwindling supply of red wine. We were in agreement that the actions of our government were immoral and illegal and thought this little vignette illustrated something pertinent to it. I still really like it.
February 25, 2026 at 4:40 PM
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@katerimodel.bsky.social , apparently gaining a set of fairy wings in the process. #roadtrip #adventure #artmodel #pdxphotographer

More in the alt-text.
It just doesn't seem possible to say enough good things about my art model friends. I know how hard it is to run a day-to-day business, PARTICULARLY one that keeps you in motion. When I'm traveling I always have unrealistic expectations that I'm going to have time to check email and respond or go through messages. It never happens. That experience underpins my admiration for the organizational skill to keep on top of appointments amid travel. We made a big loop up the Columbia Gorge and along the southern edge of Mount Adams, did a little emergency car repair, and still had time to jump into lava fields, a collapsed lava tube, a gorgeous mountain lake and then my favorite "secret" waterfall. I love meeting new people and I love showing off this beautiful place we live so it was just a delightful day, despite the high cost of recreational driving these days. Did I already rave about my new lens? It's an old Nikkor macro -- a 200mm tube that offers amazing compression at the far end of its focus range. I had a good idea how to best employ it on this outing and it performed exactly as expected. It definitely takes a serious amount of distance and I almost feel like we need radios to talk to one another when we get that far apart in a waterfall environment. LOL. In this shot, we get some random branches that suggest the outline of a gossamer wing and a bit of white fabric outlines her nicely. What fun. What a gorgeous start to summer!
June 17, 2026 at 5:10 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
"Fairies wear boots, you gotta believe me. I saw it, I saw it with my own two eyes." More in the alt-text. The absolutely wonderful Kate Ri (I have to find her handle here) in frame. #roadtrip #adventure #whoops #lesschwabtires #faires #forestgoddess #travelingmodel #pdxphotographer
Kate popped out of her hotel onto the sidewalk, backlit by an early morning sun pouring up Glisan Street, and I knew it had to be her by the particular red of her hair. I had a good idea where we were headed but hadn't found time for a particular scouting trip which turned out to be a great thing because the road I planned to take was closed so when my right front tire blew we were only a few miles into the mountains from Hood River and still in cell service to get our friendly Les Schwab tire guy out of the shop and up for a new tire. Lucky lucky lucky. Had we taken the road I wanted we would have been out of service and when we drove it later we saw absolutely ZERO other vehicles on the road. We spent the time waiting for a new tire planning a backup idea (I'm sure I would have eventually figured out that I was using the wrong end of the tool to try to release my under-car spare) and telling stories of European castles and American battlefields. Kate was ready to bushwhack downhill to the river to keep us on target but luckily we were fixed up and back on the road slightly faster than that. Kate visited at a time that I was really wondering about my role in photography and whether model photography was even what I wanted and I think she put my questions to rest. I've been privileged to know a lot of amazing women in my life, the last decade of art models definitely among them, and their portrayal seems like something that I can't even imagine walking away from. Kate's amazing, my models friends are inspiring and wonderful, I think women in general are just wonderful. I still have a lot of questions but maybe there are a lot of different answers?
June 16, 2026 at 2:17 AM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
It has been the better part of a decade and yet I still return, over and over, to re-edit this first shoot with @lucyartmodel.bsky.social. More in the alt-text. #photoshoot #wonderful #classic #grecian #amazing
The lingering education of a good shoot is one of the things that has kept me addicted to this amazing tribe of traveling art models. We have, I think, conflicting desires at times -- they want to move to the best light and find the ingredients for the shot while I want to confuse my camera sensor and see how much I can fuck it up while still recovering an image later. It's a bit of a maelstrom. But long after they have moved on I can pore over the results and learn new lessons. TBH, I don't learn DURING the shoot -- I'm just gobsmacked at the pose and the perfection and how goddamn amazing everything is. I cannot quite imagine being so jaded as to wave someone off...."Nein! Nein! Hip LEFT, hands RIGHT!" as if my vision were somehow sacrosanct!!?!! LOL. As if... The act of grappling with the archive is itself a learning curve. Maybe it comes out in work I'll do next week or the year after but mainly it helps me understand where I've been. Technically, this deep forest shot of Lucy suffers from too much contrast and the blinding glare of skin in a patch of light. Yet I find myself drawn to it over and over. What can I do with this? How do I edit it? If it were perfect from the first moment, what would I learn?
June 9, 2026 at 11:51 PM
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Sometimes the stories and the pictures do NOT go together. More in the alt-text, should you care to think about our attraction to excitement and roller-coasters and situationships.
The one and only @lucyartmodel.bsky.social in recline (because art models and rocks?). #roadtrip #pdxphotographer
This image seemed appropriate because the jumble of giant boulders, the human form made smaller when one thinks of the massive forces that tossed these things here. I've never been a roller coaster or slasher flick fan -- I think I simply feel them too much and I don't want to internalize that kind of terror and fear. On the other hand, I've always had an insistent ability to walk into a party and see someone across the room and go "oh, that one. That'll leave scars." In a moment worthy of Feris Bueller, my parents had left town when Randy arrived at the party I was throwing in their absence. All summer, Randy had talked about this girl in a summer theater program. "Kelly, Kelly, Kelly....you'll love Kelly." I can clearly remember meeting them at the door and only half-hearing his introduction trailing off. We stood there like idiots for a couple of minutes with our hands together, just sort of nodding. I don't think it was more than fifteen minutes later when I abandoned my own going-away party to walk up to the elementary school playground and sit on the tire mountain with this incredible young woman and trade our deepest secrets and lose ourselves in making out. Kisses that lasted forever under a warm Seattle sky. Another girlfriend arrived as the new roommate of a friend and we saw something in one another that was so mutually undeniable that all we could do for the next three months was sneak away to the nearest coat closet for a quickie. Another girlfriend and I got thrown out of a Thanksgiving dinner because our friends got tired of the energy -- we had been dating for a couple months and sitting on opposite sides of the table was apparently creating an awful lot of tension. After one mid-air breakup, something like an airliner being hit by anti-aircraft fire, I retreated to Bend, OR to join a younger friend in his Passover observances. SHE walked into the room and I swear that the ceiling lifted and a ray of light illuminated her and only her. It took a little bit to work around to introducing myself but when I did she smiled and said, "I know...I asked already." And there I was, fifteen minutes later, still standing in front of the fireplace holding her hands when I dug around inside myself and said, "y'know, this...THIS...feels amazing but I just got out of something and I'm going to go ahead and go now instead of wherever we were about to go." And letting go her hand, walked out the door and ran like a scalded dog the four or five miles back to my friends place to get in my car and drive out into the desert and spend a night alone under chilly Spring stars. What IS this? I'm a huge believer in romantic love but have perhaps skewed my perception of it by associating it with this "Chosen One" feeling? If I'm being honest, half my major relationships have LACKED that feeling so I think I can differentiate between an available lust and an overwhelming need. But when that sensation hits, when someone stays in color while the rest of the room goes to black and white....wowzah. And it's always been both ways. The connection doesn't seem to really kick in unless it IS. With Kelly, as a teenager, I was sure it was "twoo wuv" (with a nod to Princess Bride) but is it simply a byproduct of meeting a certain number of people? Years ago I knew an enterprising young man who would make it a point to simply undress everyone he was speaking with (he WAS rather indiscriminate). I asked him how that worked and he said, "well, about one in ten will let me get them naked and about half of those will want to take it further. I get slapped a lot, too." Is it all just in the odds? Meet a hundred people and one will have that resonance that gives you a spiritual roller coaster ride? Or is it just putting out the Sir Psycho Sexy vibe that causes reciprocation? Was it more accessible when I was younger or did I just get out more and meet more people to find the vibe? You'd think there'd be more research into these connections between people. They're clearly chemical and pheromonal, but also transcendent and primal. The wild ungrounded energy of two people who really really can't stand that it's been an hour since they last fucked is as obvious as a house on fire. My first ex, Katie, and I had that wild ungrounded energy and I can still FEEL the sensation we had during our first night together -- a bright blue spark, like an electrical cable hitting the ground or a lightning bolt. It surprised us both and we stopped and looked at one another and said, "did we? did that? are we?" and sure enough....we were pregnant. And we knew it the second it happened. I've had a few of these undeniable meetups that didn't turn into anything -- a girl in Ballard who had slipped out of a party to go play pool down the hill and looked up at my own arrival and said, "took you long enough" before whisking me off to her apartment where she kept me for the next few days until I eventually had to take the train back to Portland, long after my band had left Seattle. I'm in awe of those moments. That mutualness to the energy between two people. And it's inexplicability (or maybe not, maybe someone has explained it and I've missed that bit of hippie lore?). Where does it come from and where does it go and how do we sustain it or should we even try? It's a lot for a Sunday morning before coffee.
May 31, 2026 at 5:38 PM
exhibitphotopdx.bsky.social
Across so many different forms I can see things that I want, that make sense, but also find barriers, gulfs in-between worlds. More in the alt-text. #achievement #failure #photography #music #life
@jordanrivermuse.bsky.social in frame.
I heard Sonic Youth on the UW radio station, late at night. Maybe the same radio show that mentioned The Metropolis, an all-age music club on the 2nd Ave extension just up from the Kingdome. The bands there were all SO different. I remember a little clique of older kids (they might have been 18 or 20) who read Schopenhauer and played a weird Euro-wave Tubeway Army-style sound. They were vaguely Nazi youth but maybe more on the fashion end? I dunno -- there were no minorities around to persecute so they felt a little drifty. And there were bands who sounded like Credence Clearwater Revival but as done by The Cramps or who obviously smoked dope to The Doors but also wanted to be Zeppelin but didn't have the chops so they were just punk. You never knew what to expect and I was 15 and drinking it all in. I was never cool enough to be in the crowd that understood Swans. I can't identify the barrier but I do have a soft spot for a melody. When I started playing in a band I wanted to be The Replacements but I was never talented enough to be that sloppy. It took me months to perfect the most basic chord change and the naturalness of music as a living breathing disaster always escaped me. I could SEE it, just out of reach, never attainable. Like a band, photography is a sort of team sport as I've built it. SOMEBODY has to be in front of the camera and it's not going to be me. But they DO get to be me because I'm going to filter them, edit them, and try to capture something of myself by portraying them. Wild. What a stupid idea but yet here we are, ten years in, and I actually think it's working. I try to see a little bit of myself in the picture and then amplify it and I fail every time, falling into the gulf between here and there. But then I jump again.
May 30, 2026 at 4:35 AM