Folly Times
@follytimes.com
🔗 https://follytimes.com
Independent, truth-adjacent news for a world that no longer deserves better | In Stultitia, Fiducia
Independent, truth-adjacent news for a world that no longer deserves better | In Stultitia, Fiducia
President Trump renames the United States of America to "America of America" after studies prove one America was leaving money on the table. follytimes.com/ve10
August 29, 2026 at 5:59 PM
President Trump renames the United States of America to "America of America" after studies prove one America was leaving money on the table. follytimes.com/ve10
Because nothing inspires people like hearing an hour-long lecture about how NASA was "limping along" until Trump saved it.
August 29, 2026 at 2:47 PM
Because nothing inspires people like hearing an hour-long lecture about how NASA was "limping along" until Trump saved it.
BREAKING: Trump threatens to siphon three feet of water to Texas if Canada fails to settle its $40B "Lake America" 🇺🇸 utility bill by next month.
follytimes.com/3hb2
follytimes.com/3hb2
August 27, 2026 at 7:36 PM
BREAKING: Trump threatens to siphon three feet of water to Texas if Canada fails to settle its $40B "Lake America" 🇺🇸 utility bill by next month.
follytimes.com/3hb2
follytimes.com/3hb2
The DOJ looked at the Epstein list and admitted "Yeah, if we arrest these guys, who is going to run Wall Street on Monday?"
August 25, 2026 at 2:51 AM
The DOJ looked at the Epstein list and admitted "Yeah, if we arrest these guys, who is going to run Wall Street on Monday?"
Minnesota public unanimously approves superhero’s swift jaw correction administered directly to neo-Nazi prick, Jack Lang.
August 25, 2026 at 1:41 AM
Minnesota public unanimously approves superhero’s swift jaw correction administered directly to neo-Nazi prick, Jack Lang.
President Trump says if Wall Street won't lower borrowing costs voluntarily, sending the military to storm trading desks and demand 3.5% mortgage rates at gunpoint is only option.
follytimes.com/ngy2
follytimes.com/ngy2
Pentagon Deploys 101st Airborne To Enforce 3.5% Yield On 30-Year Bonds | Folly Times
The Pentagon deployed infantry units to Lower Manhattan to enforce a strict 3.5 percent yield ceiling on 30-year bonds at gunpoint. — Satire news from The Folly Times. Breaking absurd updates with pol...
follytimes.com
August 24, 2026 at 2:04 PM
President Trump says if Wall Street won't lower borrowing costs voluntarily, sending the military to storm trading desks and demand 3.5% mortgage rates at gunpoint is only option.
follytimes.com/ngy2
follytimes.com/ngy2
Trump: “A top staffer wrote me a letter, very beautiful letter...”
Melania: “She follows you around with a portable wireless printer and a diaper bag.”
Melania: “She follows you around with a portable wireless printer and a diaper bag.”
August 23, 2026 at 8:39 PM
Trump: “A top staffer wrote me a letter, very beautiful letter...”
Melania: “She follows you around with a portable wireless printer and a diaper bag.”
Melania: “She follows you around with a portable wireless printer and a diaper bag.”
TRUMP: “It used to be Hormuz, nobody could spell it. Now it’s called Trump's International Big Beautiful Blue Trench”
August 23, 2026 at 4:10 PM
TRUMP: “It used to be Hormuz, nobody could spell it. Now it’s called Trump's International Big Beautiful Blue Trench”
What are your plans for the Housing Bill, Mr. President?" "I don't know. It's just so unimportant. It's a yawn."
MAGA PROBLEM: Americans spending 50% of their paycheck on rent will be relieved to learn that housing policy is officially a snooze fest.
Full Story: follytimes.com/jyyx
MAGA PROBLEM: Americans spending 50% of their paycheck on rent will be relieved to learn that housing policy is officially a snooze fest.
Full Story: follytimes.com/jyyx
August 23, 2026 at 3:50 PM
What are your plans for the Housing Bill, Mr. President?" "I don't know. It's just so unimportant. It's a yawn."
MAGA PROBLEM: Americans spending 50% of their paycheck on rent will be relieved to learn that housing policy is officially a snooze fest.
Full Story: follytimes.com/jyyx
MAGA PROBLEM: Americans spending 50% of their paycheck on rent will be relieved to learn that housing policy is officially a snooze fest.
Full Story: follytimes.com/jyyx
Trump: “A top economist came up to me with tears in his eyes and said... Sir, I have studied 200 years of financial history, and nobody has ever turned an economy around in 19 months quite like you did Mr. President sir.”
FULL STORY: follytimes.com/j6yo
FULL STORY: follytimes.com/j6yo
August 22, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Trump: “A top economist came up to me with tears in his eyes and said... Sir, I have studied 200 years of financial history, and nobody has ever turned an economy around in 19 months quite like you did Mr. President sir.”
FULL STORY: follytimes.com/j6yo
FULL STORY: follytimes.com/j6yo
TRUMP JUST CLASSIFIED YOUR HAMBURGER
Under a new trade deal, beef will now be officially graded Unclassified, Confidential, Secret, or Top Secret. follytimes.com/6j5e
Under a new trade deal, beef will now be officially graded Unclassified, Confidential, Secret, or Top Secret. follytimes.com/6j5e
August 22, 2026 at 2:54 PM
TRUMP JUST CLASSIFIED YOUR HAMBURGER
Under a new trade deal, beef will now be officially graded Unclassified, Confidential, Secret, or Top Secret. follytimes.com/6j5e
Under a new trade deal, beef will now be officially graded Unclassified, Confidential, Secret, or Top Secret. follytimes.com/6j5e
New Flock cameras feature machine guns for proactive defense. Compliance rate is 98%. The other 2% are now "learning curves."
FULL STORY 🔗 follytimes.com/2cik
FULL STORY 🔗 follytimes.com/2cik
Flock Cameras Now Armored with Machine Guns | Folly Times
The Cedar Bluff City Council has officially authorized the immediate deployment of Sentinel 7000 units, flock traffic cameras now standard with machine gun turrets. These units use 'proactive kinetic ...
follytimes.com
August 20, 2026 at 9:26 PM
New Flock cameras feature machine guns for proactive defense. Compliance rate is 98%. The other 2% are now "learning curves."
FULL STORY 🔗 follytimes.com/2cik
FULL STORY 🔗 follytimes.com/2cik
President Trump admitted he hates seeing good financial data. Now the Treasury is asking consumers to take drastic action before Friday.
FULL STORY: follytimes.com/as0k
FULL STORY: follytimes.com/as0k
August 20, 2026 at 1:02 AM
President Trump admitted he hates seeing good financial data. Now the Treasury is asking consumers to take drastic action before Friday.
FULL STORY: follytimes.com/as0k
FULL STORY: follytimes.com/as0k
EXCLUSIVE: Real-time reports from 5,000 active sailors on the USS Lincoln mean nothing compared to a third-hand account from a retired officer who hasn't stepped foot on a carrier deck in decades. You won't believe what he allegedly told President Trump.
August 17, 2026 at 8:58 PM
EXCLUSIVE: Real-time reports from 5,000 active sailors on the USS Lincoln mean nothing compared to a third-hand account from a retired officer who hasn't stepped foot on a carrier deck in decades. You won't believe what he allegedly told President Trump.
Sources confirm President Trump does NOT have an emergency toupee under his suit. It is simply a decoy wig designed to draw sniper fire away from the primary pompadour.
August 17, 2026 at 3:36 PM
Sources confirm President Trump does NOT have an emergency toupee under his suit. It is simply a decoy wig designed to draw sniper fire away from the primary pompadour.
Nancy Mace, moving on from her fifth-place finish in the South Carolina Governor race, is turning every grievance into ink and YouTube content.
🔗 follytimes.com/x1jz
🔗 follytimes.com/x1jz
August 17, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Nancy Mace, moving on from her fifth-place finish in the South Carolina Governor race, is turning every grievance into ink and YouTube content.
🔗 follytimes.com/x1jz
🔗 follytimes.com/x1jz
Imagine thinking $40+ Trillion in national debt is a problem. That’s not a deficit, it's Peak American Confidence™!
If you’re not borrowing like there’s no tomorrow, do you even love freedom? 🇺🇸💳
follytimes.com/7q0b
If you’re not borrowing like there’s no tomorrow, do you even love freedom? 🇺🇸💳
follytimes.com/7q0b
Democrats Jealous Of Trump Era $39.5 Trillion Debt Achievement | Folly Times
Democrats are very jealous of Trump era $39.5 trillion debt achievement. America hit record borrowing levels with complete confidence. The milestone proves superior fiscal management to the rest of th...
follytimes.com
August 13, 2026 at 7:31 PM
Imagine thinking $40+ Trillion in national debt is a problem. That’s not a deficit, it's Peak American Confidence™!
If you’re not borrowing like there’s no tomorrow, do you even love freedom? 🇺🇸💳
follytimes.com/7q0b
If you’re not borrowing like there’s no tomorrow, do you even love freedom? 🇺🇸💳
follytimes.com/7q0b
Tired of losing money on crypto?
Simply buy the presidency and charge $100k a month for early access to your posts!
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/cgrr
Simply buy the presidency and charge $100k a month for early access to your posts!
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/cgrr
August 13, 2026 at 3:52 PM
Tired of losing money on crypto?
Simply buy the presidency and charge $100k a month for early access to your posts!
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/cgrr
Simply buy the presidency and charge $100k a month for early access to your posts!
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/cgrr
Save thousands on hair products with this ONE weird trick endorsed by the Secretary of War himself, Pete Hegseth... totally not cocaine by the way.
August 13, 2026 at 2:33 PM
Save thousands on hair products with this ONE weird trick endorsed by the Secretary of War himself, Pete Hegseth... totally not cocaine by the way.
Ever wonder what happens when an insecure billionaire Politician like Donald Trump gets access to WiFI after reading about someone's medical diagnosis?
Full Story: follytimes.com/3jik
Full Story: follytimes.com/3jik
August 10, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Ever wonder what happens when an insecure billionaire Politician like Donald Trump gets access to WiFI after reading about someone's medical diagnosis?
Full Story: follytimes.com/3jik
Full Story: follytimes.com/3jik
You thought timeline math was straightforward? Wrong!
Turns out the National Park Service believes 10 years minus 4 years equals "Obama did it," when it comes to murky green reflecting pool water.
🔗 follytimes.com/4y56
Turns out the National Park Service believes 10 years minus 4 years equals "Obama did it," when it comes to murky green reflecting pool water.
🔗 follytimes.com/4y56
August 10, 2026 at 12:00 AM
You thought timeline math was straightforward? Wrong!
Turns out the National Park Service believes 10 years minus 4 years equals "Obama did it," when it comes to murky green reflecting pool water.
🔗 follytimes.com/4y56
Turns out the National Park Service believes 10 years minus 4 years equals "Obama did it," when it comes to murky green reflecting pool water.
🔗 follytimes.com/4y56
Give Dozing Donnie a break.
Calling Biden ❝Sleepy Joe❞ for years was an exhausting projection campaign. The man earned his naps!
Calling Biden ❝Sleepy Joe❞ for years was an exhausting projection campaign. The man earned his naps!
August 8, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Give Dozing Donnie a break.
Calling Biden ❝Sleepy Joe❞ for years was an exhausting projection campaign. The man earned his naps!
Calling Biden ❝Sleepy Joe❞ for years was an exhausting projection campaign. The man earned his naps!
EXCLUSIVE: Inside the shocking deal that could trade America's favorite neighborhood bar and grill for unblocked oil shipping routes!
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/3c2g
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/3c2g
August 8, 2026 at 5:28 PM
EXCLUSIVE: Inside the shocking deal that could trade America's favorite neighborhood bar and grill for unblocked oil shipping routes!
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/3c2g
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/3c2g
High gas prices got you down?
Donald Trump calls the Iran War & Strait of Hormuz oil spike the "tough love" your commute desparately needed.
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/j6yo
Donald Trump calls the Iran War & Strait of Hormuz oil spike the "tough love" your commute desparately needed.
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/j6yo
August 6, 2026 at 1:35 PM
High gas prices got you down?
Donald Trump calls the Iran War & Strait of Hormuz oil spike the "tough love" your commute desparately needed.
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/j6yo
Donald Trump calls the Iran War & Strait of Hormuz oil spike the "tough love" your commute desparately needed.
Full Story 👉 follytimes.com/j6yo