gapernet
@gapernet.bsky.social
fixin' to be half as funny and twice as horny as my twitter
Pinned
gapernet
@gapernet.bsky.social
· May 14
I'm weary from a lifetime wasted singing camp songs in my head.
I can't even find peace down by a bay without them invading my thoughts.
I'm sick of this shit.
Whoever wrote all those summer camp songs can suck my John Jacob Jingleheimer Dick.
I can't even find peace down by a bay without them invading my thoughts.
I'm sick of this shit.
Whoever wrote all those summer camp songs can suck my John Jacob Jingleheimer Dick.
I ain't smoke weed in 15-16 months and deadass I haven't really craved it, but juicy nerds gummy clusters are SO good that it makes me wanna get stoned just to see if it's possible to appreciate them any more than I already do.
September 12, 2026 at 2:57 AM
I ain't smoke weed in 15-16 months and deadass I haven't really craved it, but juicy nerds gummy clusters are SO good that it makes me wanna get stoned just to see if it's possible to appreciate them any more than I already do.
Reposted by gapernet
Carob is gaslighting.
September 4, 2026 at 7:35 AM
Carob is gaslighting.
Reposted by gapernet
One of my favorite bits to get my wife's goat is, if I time it just right, her watch's voice-to-text records my interjection right after she hits send, so it transcribes it and she can't cancel.
This was her to our babysitter.
This was her to our babysitter.
August 21, 2026 at 7:28 AM
One of my favorite bits to get my wife's goat is, if I time it just right, her watch's voice-to-text records my interjection right after she hits send, so it transcribes it and she can't cancel.
This was her to our babysitter.
This was her to our babysitter.
One of my favorite bits to get my wife's goat is, if I time it just right, her watch's voice-to-text records my interjection right after she hits send, so it transcribes it and she can't cancel.
This was her to our babysitter.
This was her to our babysitter.
August 21, 2026 at 7:28 AM
One of my favorite bits to get my wife's goat is, if I time it just right, her watch's voice-to-text records my interjection right after she hits send, so it transcribes it and she can't cancel.
This was her to our babysitter.
This was her to our babysitter.
Listening to Werner Herzog read the audiobook of his memoir Every Man For Himself And God Against All is beautiful and absurd.
He watched dozens of weasels run down a hillside! He stabbed his brother in an argument about their pet hamster! His mother was a Doctor of Biology who studied fish hearing!
He watched dozens of weasels run down a hillside! He stabbed his brother in an argument about their pet hamster! His mother was a Doctor of Biology who studied fish hearing!
August 16, 2026 at 9:45 AM
Listening to Werner Herzog read the audiobook of his memoir Every Man For Himself And God Against All is beautiful and absurd.
He watched dozens of weasels run down a hillside! He stabbed his brother in an argument about their pet hamster! His mother was a Doctor of Biology who studied fish hearing!
He watched dozens of weasels run down a hillside! He stabbed his brother in an argument about their pet hamster! His mother was a Doctor of Biology who studied fish hearing!
How Garf made me human:
In fourth grade a pal asked me:
"Do you like Garfield?"
The concept of whether or not one could "like" Garfield changed my life. Garfield just Was, like Mild Cheddar or Pajamas.
By interrogating whether l "liked" Garfield, all of my agency as an individual surged into Me.
In fourth grade a pal asked me:
"Do you like Garfield?"
The concept of whether or not one could "like" Garfield changed my life. Garfield just Was, like Mild Cheddar or Pajamas.
By interrogating whether l "liked" Garfield, all of my agency as an individual surged into Me.
August 16, 2026 at 7:10 AM
How Garf made me human:
In fourth grade a pal asked me:
"Do you like Garfield?"
The concept of whether or not one could "like" Garfield changed my life. Garfield just Was, like Mild Cheddar or Pajamas.
By interrogating whether l "liked" Garfield, all of my agency as an individual surged into Me.
In fourth grade a pal asked me:
"Do you like Garfield?"
The concept of whether or not one could "like" Garfield changed my life. Garfield just Was, like Mild Cheddar or Pajamas.
By interrogating whether l "liked" Garfield, all of my agency as an individual surged into Me.
Reposted by gapernet
cold water is a tasty treat
July 26, 2026 at 2:27 AM
cold water is a tasty treat
Needs a stick figure @spicybigdad.bsky.social getting toppy for accuracy
www.opb.org/article/2026...
www.opb.org/article/2026...
Oregon City picks new flag inspired by municipal elevator and Willamette Falls
The current flag, adopted in 1989, features western migration imagery and was described by the mayor as “too busy.”
www.opb.org
July 19, 2026 at 8:04 PM
Needs a stick figure @spicybigdad.bsky.social getting toppy for accuracy
www.opb.org/article/2026...
www.opb.org/article/2026...
Summer camp songs are such annoying earworms. 30 years later I'm still thinking about Ite-ite-iting eyepples and banigh-nighs.
Ever since I was 11, every time I meet someone named Joe my first thought is "He must work in a button factory."
I'm tired of this shit.
Ever since I was 11, every time I meet someone named Joe my first thought is "He must work in a button factory."
I'm tired of this shit.
May 14, 2026 at 5:32 AM
Summer camp songs are such annoying earworms. 30 years later I'm still thinking about Ite-ite-iting eyepples and banigh-nighs.
Ever since I was 11, every time I meet someone named Joe my first thought is "He must work in a button factory."
I'm tired of this shit.
Ever since I was 11, every time I meet someone named Joe my first thought is "He must work in a button factory."
I'm tired of this shit.
Y'know how British people call "H" "Haitch"?
And how older Brooklyn guys pronounce H words with with a Y instead? Like how Mel Brooks says "Yooge" and "Yooman" and whatnot?
Bernie doing his alphabet at school if he moved to East London when he was nine: "…dee ee eff gee, YAITCH aye jay kay…"
And how older Brooklyn guys pronounce H words with with a Y instead? Like how Mel Brooks says "Yooge" and "Yooman" and whatnot?
Bernie doing his alphabet at school if he moved to East London when he was nine: "…dee ee eff gee, YAITCH aye jay kay…"
May 2, 2026 at 6:17 AM
Y'know how British people call "H" "Haitch"?
And how older Brooklyn guys pronounce H words with with a Y instead? Like how Mel Brooks says "Yooge" and "Yooman" and whatnot?
Bernie doing his alphabet at school if he moved to East London when he was nine: "…dee ee eff gee, YAITCH aye jay kay…"
And how older Brooklyn guys pronounce H words with with a Y instead? Like how Mel Brooks says "Yooge" and "Yooman" and whatnot?
Bernie doing his alphabet at school if he moved to East London when he was nine: "…dee ee eff gee, YAITCH aye jay kay…"
I am going to have to buy a key-locking gas cap for my truck; I fell victim to siphoning again last night.
I can only hope is was some jerkass way into huffing who can't afford their habit, rather than a poor soul who can't afford to drive their kids to school
I can only hope is was some jerkass way into huffing who can't afford their habit, rather than a poor soul who can't afford to drive their kids to school
April 24, 2026 at 2:30 AM
I am going to have to buy a key-locking gas cap for my truck; I fell victim to siphoning again last night.
I can only hope is was some jerkass way into huffing who can't afford their habit, rather than a poor soul who can't afford to drive their kids to school
I can only hope is was some jerkass way into huffing who can't afford their habit, rather than a poor soul who can't afford to drive their kids to school
Me: I used to think Andre 3000 was the best rapper, but now I am certain Big Boi is the best rapper ever.
Biblical Scholar: ahh, yes, 1 Corinthians 13:11.
Biblical Scholar: ahh, yes, 1 Corinthians 13:11.
April 7, 2026 at 6:32 PM
Me: I used to think Andre 3000 was the best rapper, but now I am certain Big Boi is the best rapper ever.
Biblical Scholar: ahh, yes, 1 Corinthians 13:11.
Biblical Scholar: ahh, yes, 1 Corinthians 13:11.
Been seeing a bunch of worms lately after it rains. That's kinda nice.
I'd rather see a worm than not see a worm. If seeing a bear is 200 exciting points, seeing a worm is 1 exciting point. I've definitely seen 200 worms in the last few weeks, so in aggregate that's as exciting as seeing a bear.
I'd rather see a worm than not see a worm. If seeing a bear is 200 exciting points, seeing a worm is 1 exciting point. I've definitely seen 200 worms in the last few weeks, so in aggregate that's as exciting as seeing a bear.
March 11, 2026 at 2:54 AM
Been seeing a bunch of worms lately after it rains. That's kinda nice.
I'd rather see a worm than not see a worm. If seeing a bear is 200 exciting points, seeing a worm is 1 exciting point. I've definitely seen 200 worms in the last few weeks, so in aggregate that's as exciting as seeing a bear.
I'd rather see a worm than not see a worm. If seeing a bear is 200 exciting points, seeing a worm is 1 exciting point. I've definitely seen 200 worms in the last few weeks, so in aggregate that's as exciting as seeing a bear.
@early90spants.com Hey Producer Dan my buddy and I are going crazy trying to figure out what the YKS bumper music is, like coming back from ads and whatnot.
We are both sure we've heard it before but we can't place it. My guess is it's from a sitcom I never watched on purpose. Please help us!
We are both sure we've heard it before but we can't place it. My guess is it's from a sitcom I never watched on purpose. Please help us!
September 8, 2025 at 8:25 PM
@early90spants.com Hey Producer Dan my buddy and I are going crazy trying to figure out what the YKS bumper music is, like coming back from ads and whatnot.
We are both sure we've heard it before but we can't place it. My guess is it's from a sitcom I never watched on purpose. Please help us!
We are both sure we've heard it before but we can't place it. My guess is it's from a sitcom I never watched on purpose. Please help us!
Reposted by gapernet
Werner Herzog would respect Heathcliff but despise Garfield due to their differing approaches to embracing domesticity
August 28, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Werner Herzog would respect Heathcliff but despise Garfield due to their differing approaches to embracing domesticity
For some reason my wife's glasses came with this cum rag with good cumrag advice printed on it.
May 11, 2025 at 12:28 AM
For some reason my wife's glasses came with this cum rag with good cumrag advice printed on it.
Thinking about how horny springtime used to make me when I was young makes me really horny.
May 4, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Thinking about how horny springtime used to make me when I was young makes me really horny.
Dogg the app added more stats for NYT Connections and I am so psyched. 'Purple First' is an excellent stat to see
I look at the wordlebot after every puzzle and for crossword data I actually use an external site, xwstats.com.
I look at the wordlebot after every puzzle and for crossword data I actually use an external site, xwstats.com.
April 15, 2025 at 7:38 AM
Dogg the app added more stats for NYT Connections and I am so psyched. 'Purple First' is an excellent stat to see
I look at the wordlebot after every puzzle and for crossword data I actually use an external site, xwstats.com.
I look at the wordlebot after every puzzle and for crossword data I actually use an external site, xwstats.com.
Chili Restaurant.
4 base chilis:
•red w/ chunks
•red w ground
•green
•green w/ pork
•1 (maybe two*) rotating chili
Toppings bar
Fried okra, beans & rice, collard greens, cornbread, house-made little flour tortillas.
*maybe 1 rotating house chili & 1 rotating guest chili
4 base chilis:
•red w/ chunks
•red w ground
•green
•green w/ pork
•1 (maybe two*) rotating chili
Toppings bar
Fried okra, beans & rice, collard greens, cornbread, house-made little flour tortillas.
*maybe 1 rotating house chili & 1 rotating guest chili
April 14, 2025 at 8:03 AM
Chili Restaurant.
4 base chilis:
•red w/ chunks
•red w ground
•green
•green w/ pork
•1 (maybe two*) rotating chili
Toppings bar
Fried okra, beans & rice, collard greens, cornbread, house-made little flour tortillas.
*maybe 1 rotating house chili & 1 rotating guest chili
4 base chilis:
•red w/ chunks
•red w ground
•green
•green w/ pork
•1 (maybe two*) rotating chili
Toppings bar
Fried okra, beans & rice, collard greens, cornbread, house-made little flour tortillas.
*maybe 1 rotating house chili & 1 rotating guest chili
I've been noticing huge loogies on the drivers' sides of cybetrucks after I walk past them. I'll be walking up and I don't see anything there, and then after I walk past when I look back there's a big gob of boogs and spit right there where you open the door. It's the damnedest thing.
March 29, 2025 at 6:29 AM
I've been noticing huge loogies on the drivers' sides of cybetrucks after I walk past them. I'll be walking up and I don't see anything there, and then after I walk past when I look back there's a big gob of boogs and spit right there where you open the door. It's the damnedest thing.
I've seen plenty (PLENTY.) of porno videos that purport to be truly amateur, but they obviously have a giant special effects budget to make the guy's hog appear to be huge. I can't concentrate when they use VFX to make it look more than 4". That's too unrealistic and I can't suspend my disbelief.
March 20, 2025 at 7:21 PM
I've seen plenty (PLENTY.) of porno videos that purport to be truly amateur, but they obviously have a giant special effects budget to make the guy's hog appear to be huge. I can't concentrate when they use VFX to make it look more than 4". That's too unrealistic and I can't suspend my disbelief.
If Resist Liberals were serious about opposing PresidentTrump they should have pulled a Dirty Work during the car commercial he did today.
March 12, 2025 at 3:34 AM
If Resist Liberals were serious about opposing PresidentTrump they should have pulled a Dirty Work during the car commercial he did today.
I think only worms should be called "worms".
We need a different word for all those other animals called "worms" that aren't worms.
None of those those marine worms or insect larvae or microscopic creatures should be called "worms".
Worms are worms and that's it.
We need a different word for all those other animals called "worms" that aren't worms.
None of those those marine worms or insect larvae or microscopic creatures should be called "worms".
Worms are worms and that's it.
March 11, 2025 at 6:46 AM
I think only worms should be called "worms".
We need a different word for all those other animals called "worms" that aren't worms.
None of those those marine worms or insect larvae or microscopic creatures should be called "worms".
Worms are worms and that's it.
We need a different word for all those other animals called "worms" that aren't worms.
None of those those marine worms or insect larvae or microscopic creatures should be called "worms".
Worms are worms and that's it.
We're teaching The Boy people make bad choices, but there aren't "bad guys".
He asks "I need to ask you something. Police put people in jail when they make bad choices. Why do people wanna do that?"
Right away my brilliant wife said "we don't really know why people want to be police officers.".
He asks "I need to ask you something. Police put people in jail when they make bad choices. Why do people wanna do that?"
Right away my brilliant wife said "we don't really know why people want to be police officers.".
March 8, 2025 at 10:42 AM
We're teaching The Boy people make bad choices, but there aren't "bad guys".
He asks "I need to ask you something. Police put people in jail when they make bad choices. Why do people wanna do that?"
Right away my brilliant wife said "we don't really know why people want to be police officers.".
He asks "I need to ask you something. Police put people in jail when they make bad choices. Why do people wanna do that?"
Right away my brilliant wife said "we don't really know why people want to be police officers.".