Wolfe Van Mural
@guytheguy.bsky.social
Keep it on & poppin
Church
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagz72go6z42
Church
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagz72go6z42
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Be sure to come to my book signing! Today, I'll be signing "It", by Stephen King. Next week, I'll be signing the owner's manual to my 2006 Honda.
October 8, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Be sure to come to my book signing! Today, I'll be signing "It", by Stephen King. Next week, I'll be signing the owner's manual to my 2006 Honda.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
[taco bell drive thru]
Hi, I'd like enough tacos to forget 2026
Hi, I'd like enough tacos to forget 2026
September 20, 2026 at 2:28 AM
[taco bell drive thru]
Hi, I'd like enough tacos to forget 2026
Hi, I'd like enough tacos to forget 2026
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Eat your vegetables or they'll cut your brake line.
September 22, 2026 at 1:44 AM
Eat your vegetables or they'll cut your brake line.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
[at second rodeo] no, no, no, none of this is right
September 21, 2026 at 9:40 PM
[at second rodeo] no, no, no, none of this is right
backwards roller-blading up to your kids’ lemonade stand to haggle them all the way down to a nickel per cup
September 22, 2026 at 2:27 AM
backwards roller-blading up to your kids’ lemonade stand to haggle them all the way down to a nickel per cup
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
If I ever become a murderer, I’m going axe murderer. It’s clearly the superior genre.
September 22, 2026 at 12:28 AM
If I ever become a murderer, I’m going axe murderer. It’s clearly the superior genre.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
it’s been said before, many times many ways- jorkin hard or hardly jorkin?
September 21, 2026 at 7:31 PM
it’s been said before, many times many ways- jorkin hard or hardly jorkin?
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
I do less before 9AM than most people don’t do all day.
January 25, 2025 at 9:43 AM
I do less before 9AM than most people don’t do all day.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
You’re all the 38 best shitposters in my heart.
September 22, 2026 at 12:45 AM
You’re all the 38 best shitposters in my heart.
angina is by far the sexiest of heart conditions
September 22, 2026 at 2:17 AM
angina is by far the sexiest of heart conditions
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Reconsidering every decision I’ve ever made since 1997 while waiting for my nighttime tea to steep.
September 22, 2026 at 1:16 AM
Reconsidering every decision I’ve ever made since 1997 while waiting for my nighttime tea to steep.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
if you ever write a poem about it, fascism rhymes with fast jism you’re welcome
September 20, 2026 at 10:26 AM
if you ever write a poem about it, fascism rhymes with fast jism you’re welcome
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
All my skinny friends eat vicariously through me.
September 20, 2026 at 2:25 PM
All my skinny friends eat vicariously through me.
[taking bathroom break while watching dirty dancing with girlfriend]
babe don’t pause it just let me know if they dirty dance
babe don’t pause it just let me know if they dirty dance
September 20, 2026 at 1:39 AM
[taking bathroom break while watching dirty dancing with girlfriend]
babe don’t pause it just let me know if they dirty dance
babe don’t pause it just let me know if they dirty dance
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
You'll never work in this town again. Or any town. You've won the lottery!
September 16, 2026 at 6:39 PM
You'll never work in this town again. Or any town. You've won the lottery!
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
If I was a woman I would use the excuse "I got my labia caught in the car door" as an excuse for being late.
September 18, 2026 at 9:38 PM
If I was a woman I would use the excuse "I got my labia caught in the car door" as an excuse for being late.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Reality Kings is my favorite documentary producer
September 18, 2026 at 9:43 PM
Reality Kings is my favorite documentary producer
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
*At work, pulls two dryer sheets out of my uniform pants leg*
Adds magician to resumè
Adds magician to resumè
September 18, 2026 at 10:46 PM
*At work, pulls two dryer sheets out of my uniform pants leg*
Adds magician to resumè
Adds magician to resumè
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Slap and a tickle. It’s important to get the order right.
September 13, 2026 at 10:03 PM
Slap and a tickle. It’s important to get the order right.
i knew you weren’t the one when you let your pizza rolls cool now please leave
September 13, 2026 at 10:07 PM
i knew you weren’t the one when you let your pizza rolls cool now please leave
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Someone bring me a snack. I don't feel like moving...HELLoooo! Anyone?
September 13, 2026 at 4:44 AM
Someone bring me a snack. I don't feel like moving...HELLoooo! Anyone?
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Scientist: We've detected bark matter!
Me: Don't you mean DARK matter?
Scientist: *lab coat falls away to reveal 3 dogs*
Me: Don't you mean DARK matter?
Scientist: *lab coat falls away to reveal 3 dogs*
September 13, 2026 at 4:48 AM
Scientist: We've detected bark matter!
Me: Don't you mean DARK matter?
Scientist: *lab coat falls away to reveal 3 dogs*
Me: Don't you mean DARK matter?
Scientist: *lab coat falls away to reveal 3 dogs*
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Asking the giant carpenter ants in the bathroom if they can built me a sturdy drafting table while they're here.
September 13, 2026 at 4:48 AM
Asking the giant carpenter ants in the bathroom if they can built me a sturdy drafting table while they're here.
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
25,000 posts what's your favorite
September 13, 2026 at 4:50 AM
25,000 posts what's your favorite
Reposted by Wolfe Van Mural
Perimenopause be like, "wanna see this bitch cry?"
September 13, 2026 at 4:53 AM
Perimenopause be like, "wanna see this bitch cry?"