Archbishop Deshaies
@houcounterplot.bsky.social
God gives His toughest battles to His strongest warriors. Proud 5x recipient of the Orel Hershiser Award for Online Sportsmanship (2018, 2019, 2021, 2022, 2023)
Our critics might say 81-81 shouldn’t win a division. But the Lord says, “My most beautiful flowers grow in the deepest valleys.” So I guess we got that going for us.
I think this might be our year!
I think this might be our year!
September 28, 2026 at 2:07 AM
Our critics might say 81-81 shouldn’t win a division. But the Lord says, “My most beautiful flowers grow in the deepest valleys.” So I guess we got that going for us.
I think this might be our year!
I think this might be our year!
The Houston Astros braintrust is more than one person. This AL West title took a village. It took a whole team of nerds. And we proved it by winning the division.
We currently have >1 general managers.
September 28, 2026 at 2:01 AM
The Houston Astros braintrust is more than one person. This AL West title took a village. It took a whole team of nerds. And we proved it by winning the division.
Little did everyone know, the fight didn’t even finish .500—but the Astros did!
As soon as they said they’re #chasingthefight, I knew how serious this organization was
September 28, 2026 at 2:00 AM
Little did everyone know, the fight didn’t even finish .500—but the Astros did!
Ouch! Well, at least Dallas’s baseball team finished 80-82, which is good for second best in the AL West.
September 27, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Ouch! Well, at least Dallas’s baseball team finished 80-82, which is good for second best in the AL West.
Who wants to get drunk at this Arby’s?
September 27, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Who wants to get drunk at this Arby’s?
Houston is a baseball town.
September 27, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Houston is a baseball town.
The White Sox are going to get a fully rested Houston squad. We rested our team (17 different starters, 20 different relievers, 12 center fielders, 5 first basemen, 1 general manager).
It’s over for you, pale hose.
It’s over for you, pale hose.
September 27, 2026 at 10:57 PM
The White Sox are going to get a fully rested Houston squad. We rested our team (17 different starters, 20 different relievers, 12 center fielders, 5 first basemen, 1 general manager).
It’s over for you, pale hose.
It’s over for you, pale hose.
Think about this: If the Astros were still in the NL Central, they wouldn’t have been able to play down to the competition. They wouldn’t have been able to rest their starting pitchers or give all these young guys a chance. Astros knew the division sucked, so they took advantage of the situation.
September 27, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Think about this: If the Astros were still in the NL Central, they wouldn’t have been able to play down to the competition. They wouldn’t have been able to rest their starting pitchers or give all these young guys a chance. Astros knew the division sucked, so they took advantage of the situation.
Really pissed off at the Rangers and Mariners for not putting up a fight this year. Hardly thanks you too thanks so much When you win 8 titles in 10 years, folks just roll over for you. Cowards!!!
September 27, 2026 at 10:27 PM
Really pissed off at the Rangers and Mariners for not putting up a fight this year. Hardly thanks you too thanks so much When you win 8 titles in 10 years, folks just roll over for you. Cowards!!!
Astros have been playing down to the competition all year AND IT SHOWS!
Now Little League is over and it’s time to rumble with the big boys. No more cupcakes on the schedule!
Now Little League is over and it’s time to rumble with the big boys. No more cupcakes on the schedule!
September 27, 2026 at 10:24 PM
Astros have been playing down to the competition all year AND IT SHOWS!
Now Little League is over and it’s time to rumble with the big boys. No more cupcakes on the schedule!
Now Little League is over and it’s time to rumble with the big boys. No more cupcakes on the schedule!
Everyone in this division sucks… except for the Houston Astros, they all have losing records! Aside from the Astros, this is a really shitty division! #EasiestTitleEver
September 27, 2026 at 10:23 PM
Everyone in this division sucks… except for the Houston Astros, they all have losing records! Aside from the Astros, this is a really shitty division! #EasiestTitleEver
Kiss my ass, Dallas! Kiss my ass, Seattle, Kiss my ass, Los Angeles of Anaheim! Kiss my ass, Sacramento, Oakland, and Las Vegas!
September 27, 2026 at 10:15 PM
Kiss my ass, Dallas! Kiss my ass, Seattle, Kiss my ass, Los Angeles of Anaheim! Kiss my ass, Sacramento, Oakland, and Las Vegas!
Kiss my ass, Dallas! The Astros are champions!
September 27, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Kiss my ass, Dallas! The Astros are champions!
Do you want to watch the Astros or nah?
September 27, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Do you want to watch the Astros or nah?
The Astros are basically the Nelson Mandela of organized sports.
September 24, 2026 at 3:01 AM
The Astros are basically the Nelson Mandela of organized sports.
When I think about the last decade of Astros baseball, it makes me sick at the way we’ve all been treated, how much our team has suffered, how much our fanbase has suffered. Sick to my stomach.
September 24, 2026 at 3:01 AM
When I think about the last decade of Astros baseball, it makes me sick at the way we’ve all been treated, how much our team has suffered, how much our fanbase has suffered. Sick to my stomach.
Sure, the Astros haven’t done anything special to win the division, but there isn’t another team in sports that has been through as much as the Houston Astros. It’s about time we had something to be happy about!
September 24, 2026 at 2:59 AM
Sure, the Astros haven’t done anything special to win the division, but there isn’t another team in sports that has been through as much as the Houston Astros. It’s about time we had something to be happy about!
Honestly, the Astros are the only team that truly deserves to win this division.
September 24, 2026 at 2:58 AM
Honestly, the Astros are the only team that truly deserves to win this division.
This doesn’t excuse what’s happening.
The schedule was set months before the season started. The Astros should have played better earlier.
September 24, 2026 at 2:09 AM
This doesn’t excuse what’s happening.
The fix is in. The Rangers get the underperforming Mets while the Astros have to go to Seattle and play the surging and finally healthy Mariners. Bullshit schedule.
September 24, 2026 at 12:39 AM
The fix is in. The Rangers get the underperforming Mets while the Astros have to go to Seattle and play the surging and finally healthy Mariners. Bullshit schedule.
Texans suck. Astros suck. Arby’s is pretty good. Rockets suck. Cougars suck.
September 20, 2026 at 8:27 PM
Texans suck. Astros suck. Arby’s is pretty good. Rockets suck. Cougars suck.
I feel like a horse’s ass for thinking the Houston Texans were going to be good this year.
A big stupid horse’s ass.
A big stupid horse’s ass.
September 20, 2026 at 8:17 PM
I feel like a horse’s ass for thinking the Houston Texans were going to be good this year.
A big stupid horse’s ass.
A big stupid horse’s ass.
I mean this in the nicest and most respectful way possible: Kiss my ass, Houston Texans. You fraud ass, fake ass, head ass team. You guys can move to Nashville, too.
September 20, 2026 at 8:03 PM
I mean this in the nicest and most respectful way possible: Kiss my ass, Houston Texans. You fraud ass, fake ass, head ass team. You guys can move to Nashville, too.