Ian Thomas Malone
@ianthomasmalone.bsky.social
Transgender Princess, Post-Op Malone, Comedian, Tomatometer Approved Critic, Pod: Estradiol Illusions, Bylines: GQ, Little White Lies. (she/her) Long Beach, CA
Rep: Geffen Semach, WCA
ITM Diaries Substack: https://ianthomasmalone.substack.com/
Rep: Geffen Semach, WCA
ITM Diaries Substack: https://ianthomasmalone.substack.com/
I wrote about the egregious efforts to silence Macklemore for voicing solidarity with the Palestinian people by the same billionaires who welcome the Nazi-obsessed Kanye West into their stadiums. There is no such thing as not taking a side.
Macklemore Takes on the Billionaires
Republican megadonors love to say there’s nothing more important than free speech, unless you want to say ‘Free Palestine.’
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
September 16, 2026 at 6:50 PM
I wrote about the egregious efforts to silence Macklemore for voicing solidarity with the Palestinian people by the same billionaires who welcome the Nazi-obsessed Kanye West into their stadiums. There is no such thing as not taking a side.
Reposted by Ian Thomas Malone
Ian Thomas Malone is just a treasure. That’s right, Asswipe. Take THAT.
September 7, 2026 at 2:31 AM
Ian Thomas Malone is just a treasure. That’s right, Asswipe. Take THAT.
I wrote about the empty legacy that Charlie Kirk left behind. It turns out, no matter how many fireworks his wife sets off, the racist podcaster who made a living yelling at college kids was not the second coming of MLK. Happy Kirkmas everyone!
Charlie Kirk Left No Legacy
Like the AI song that bears his name, Charlie Kirk’s life was nothing but slop.
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
September 10, 2026 at 3:13 PM
I wrote about the empty legacy that Charlie Kirk left behind. It turns out, no matter how many fireworks his wife sets off, the racist podcaster who made a living yelling at college kids was not the second coming of MLK. Happy Kirkmas everyone!
Reposted by Ian Thomas Malone
Oh man, Ian Thomas Malone is spot-on with this one!
August 26, 2026 at 11:03 PM
Oh man, Ian Thomas Malone is spot-on with this one!
I wrote about Abdul El-Sayed’s brilliant takedown of Jesse Watters’ anti-trans ragebait, Donald’s efforts to do everything he can to cost the GOP as many Senate seats as possible, and the legacy of Dolly Parton for my newsletter this week. Make sure you check your foreskin before you dive in.
The Circumcision of Our Discontent
Abdul El-Sayed showed Democrats how to respond to trans hysteria, plus Donald’s YOLO trade war with Canada, and a tribute to Dolly Parton.
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
August 26, 2026 at 8:19 PM
I wrote about Abdul El-Sayed’s brilliant takedown of Jesse Watters’ anti-trans ragebait, Donald’s efforts to do everything he can to cost the GOP as many Senate seats as possible, and the legacy of Dolly Parton for my newsletter this week. Make sure you check your foreskin before you dive in.
Reposted by Ian Thomas Malone
August 15, 2026 at 2:48 PM
I wrote about MAGAN, Trump’s sleepy press conference, Chuck Grassley’s eulogy for Beth the Vacuum, the results of last night’s primaries, and Lauren Boebert’s latest scandal in this week’s newsletter. Enjoy!
Meet MAGAN, The GOP's latest attempt to replace Charlie Kirk
The robot is already malfunctioning, plus Chuck Grassley's eulogy for Beth the Vacuum, and a look at last night's primary results.
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
August 12, 2026 at 7:28 PM
I wrote about MAGAN, Trump’s sleepy press conference, Chuck Grassley’s eulogy for Beth the Vacuum, the results of last night’s primaries, and Lauren Boebert’s latest scandal in this week’s newsletter. Enjoy!
I wrote about Sophie Cunningham, who's trying to parlay her spot on the bench in the WNBA into a future career in professional transphobia.
Sophie Cunningham Proves at Least One Person Looks up to Riley Gaines
How much money is there in professional transphobia? Sophie Cunningham wants to find out.
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
August 5, 2026 at 3:37 PM
I wrote about Sophie Cunningham, who's trying to parlay her spot on the bench in the WNBA into a future career in professional transphobia.
I wrote about the legacy of the pathetic closeted coward known as Lindsey Graham, a man who was never afraid to abandon his friends if it would bring him an inch closer to power. What a sad waste of a life.
Lindsey Graham Was a Pathetic, Closeted Coward
There is nothing decent in lying about his legacy.
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
July 13, 2026 at 9:35 PM
I wrote about the legacy of the pathetic closeted coward known as Lindsey Graham, a man who was never afraid to abandon his friends if it would bring him an inch closer to power. What a sad waste of a life.
It was real, wasn’t it? Neil Gorsuch and me.
July 7, 2026 at 3:44 AM
It was real, wasn’t it? Neil Gorsuch and me.
Professor @hcrichardson.bsky.social, please run for Senate. This is a break glass moment.
July 7, 2026 at 1:57 AM
Professor @hcrichardson.bsky.social, please run for Senate. This is a break glass moment.
Marco Rubio serving as both Secretary of State and National Security Advisor doesn’t look that hard when you consider that Iain Stirling narrates the US and UK versions of Love Island at the same time.
June 30, 2026 at 1:30 AM
Marco Rubio serving as both Secretary of State and National Security Advisor doesn’t look that hard when you consider that Iain Stirling narrates the US and UK versions of Love Island at the same time.
I wrote about the Memorandum of Utter Stupidity and Republicans' twisted view of masculinity for my newsletter this week.
Memorandum of Utter Stupidity
I don't think you can say you won a war if you have to give 300 billion to the other side.
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
June 17, 2026 at 7:20 PM
I wrote about the Memorandum of Utter Stupidity and Republicans' twisted view of masculinity for my newsletter this week.
I wrote about Bari Weiss's magical ability to fall upwards.
Let's Take a Look at Bari Weiss
What does a career built on cancel culture and hatred for trans people get you? Apparently, a job running CBS News, and possibly CNN.
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
June 10, 2026 at 6:49 PM
I wrote about Bari Weiss's magical ability to fall upwards.
I wrote about how a fast-food mascot's power over baseball can show Democrats the path to winning in November. Happy Pride everyone!
The Gay Grimace Mets Showed Us All the Power of Pride
If a fast-food mascot can save a baseball team, maybe the Democrats can actually win in Alaska and Iowa.
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
June 3, 2026 at 7:11 PM
I wrote about how a fast-food mascot's power over baseball can show Democrats the path to winning in November. Happy Pride everyone!
Reposted by Ian Thomas Malone
Stolen from @ianthomasmalone.bsky.social ... Happy Pride Month Eve
May 31, 2026 at 7:17 PM
Stolen from @ianthomasmalone.bsky.social ... Happy Pride Month Eve
Angels third baseman Anthony Rendon was injured in the Garden Grove chemical incident.
May 24, 2026 at 4:54 PM
Angels third baseman Anthony Rendon was injured in the Garden Grove chemical incident.
Reposted by Ian Thomas Malone
“At least Gina Carano gave Netflix a show by staying in the octagon longer than Erika Kirk grieved for her husband.” 🤣🤣🤣
via @ianthomasmalone.bsky.social
via @ianthomasmalone.bsky.social
May 18, 2026 at 4:30 PM
“At least Gina Carano gave Netflix a show by staying in the octagon longer than Erika Kirk grieved for her husband.” 🤣🤣🤣
via @ianthomasmalone.bsky.social
via @ianthomasmalone.bsky.social
Reposted by Ian Thomas Malone
From @ianthomasmalone.bsky.social who isn't particularly active on Bluesky yet, unfortunately.
May 11, 2026 at 8:08 PM
From @ianthomasmalone.bsky.social who isn't particularly active on Bluesky yet, unfortunately.
The magic ear is ready to grow back again.
April 26, 2026 at 1:08 AM
The magic ear is ready to grow back again.
Reposted by Ian Thomas Malone
Happy Transgender Day of Visibility 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
@ianthomasmalone.bsky.social is the best, and nosy bigots are the worst.
@ianthomasmalone.bsky.social is the best, and nosy bigots are the worst.
March 31, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Happy Transgender Day of Visibility 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
@ianthomasmalone.bsky.social is the best, and nosy bigots are the worst.
@ianthomasmalone.bsky.social is the best, and nosy bigots are the worst.
Two in the strait, one in the Hormuz.
March 16, 2026 at 11:44 PM
Two in the strait, one in the Hormuz.
I wrote about Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff's inability to understand enriched uranium, alongside Trump's obsession with affordable footwear, buying shoes for all his friends like every normal heterosexual man, plus an update on the Texas Senate race and a farewell to the puppy-killer.
All the President's Dress Shoes
When Trump isn't busy starting a new war each week, he's buying shoes for all the men in his administration. As Blink-182 once said, surprises let me know he cares.
ianthomasmalone.substack.com
March 11, 2026 at 7:04 PM
I wrote about Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff's inability to understand enriched uranium, alongside Trump's obsession with affordable footwear, buying shoes for all his friends like every normal heterosexual man, plus an update on the Texas Senate race and a farewell to the puppy-killer.
Trump bombing Iran is the first time Lindsey Graham ever got a man to play out his fantasies without paying him.
February 28, 2026 at 3:26 PM
Trump bombing Iran is the first time Lindsey Graham ever got a man to play out his fantasies without paying him.
I really wish Connecticut had the “rip kids out of their parents’ hands and forcibly transition them” policy when I was little.
February 25, 2026 at 3:21 AM
I really wish Connecticut had the “rip kids out of their parents’ hands and forcibly transition them” policy when I was little.