Jay Heltzer
@jayheltzer.bsky.social
Writer of fiction, microfiction and #5amWritersClub devotee, w/ some bass trombone on the side.
I love humor, good humans, and creativity. I ask of at least one from everyone, but all three is fine too.
Low Notes: https://jayheltzer.substack.com
I love humor, good humans, and creativity. I ask of at least one from everyone, but all three is fine too.
Low Notes: https://jayheltzer.substack.com
Pinned
Jay Heltzer
@jayheltzer.bsky.social
· Oct 18
Just read this passage from “Mrs Death Misses Death” by
Salena Godden and I may have a new mantra for creating art.
#5amwritersclub
Salena Godden and I may have a new mantra for creating art.
#5amwritersclub
I reject insomnia as a method for creating productivity opportunities to work on your writing. I bet anything I craft on 40 minutes of sleep is probably utter dogshit (with apologies to dogs)…
BUT I’M GONNA GIVE IT A SHOT ANYWAY!
#230amWritersClub #5amWritersClub
BUT I’M GONNA GIVE IT A SHOT ANYWAY!
#230amWritersClub #5amWritersClub
September 23, 2026 at 6:30 AM
I reject insomnia as a method for creating productivity opportunities to work on your writing. I bet anything I craft on 40 minutes of sleep is probably utter dogshit (with apologies to dogs)…
BUT I’M GONNA GIVE IT A SHOT ANYWAY!
#230amWritersClub #5amWritersClub
BUT I’M GONNA GIVE IT A SHOT ANYWAY!
#230amWritersClub #5amWritersClub
In this month's LOW NOTES, I give my hottest take on the myriad of writing craft books in the world and which one is the best one.
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/theres-mor...
#5amWritersClub
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/theres-mor...
#5amWritersClub
There’s More Than One Way to Save The Cat
My hot take on writing craft books.
jayheltzer.substack.com
September 1, 2026 at 10:48 AM
In this month's LOW NOTES, I give my hottest take on the myriad of writing craft books in the world and which one is the best one.
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/theres-mor...
#5amWritersClub
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/theres-mor...
#5amWritersClub
Dear brain, while you agree we should work on the WIP, I will give you 20 mins to jot down as many ideas about the next book that is bubbling up inside you, but then its back to the current WIP, got it?
#5amWritersClub, where too many ideas pop up when all is quiet.
#5amWritersClub, where too many ideas pop up when all is quiet.
Jim and Pam: Flush Out Bad Ideas
ALT: Jim and Pam: Flush Out Bad Ideas
static.klipy.com
August 13, 2026 at 8:53 AM
Dear brain, while you agree we should work on the WIP, I will give you 20 mins to jot down as many ideas about the next book that is bubbling up inside you, but then its back to the current WIP, got it?
#5amWritersClub, where too many ideas pop up when all is quiet.
#5amWritersClub, where too many ideas pop up when all is quiet.
I just wrote the stupidest sentence. It doesn't make sense, it barely serves the story, and it makes me look like a verbal knucklehead...
But I have something to edit and revise later. What do you have?
#5amWritersClub, where waking early to write poorly is better than not writing at all.
But I have something to edit and revise later. What do you have?
#5amWritersClub, where waking early to write poorly is better than not writing at all.
Eric Cartman: I'm Better Than Everyone Here
ALT: Eric Cartman: I'm Better Than Everyone Here
static.klipy.com
August 8, 2026 at 9:16 AM
I just wrote the stupidest sentence. It doesn't make sense, it barely serves the story, and it makes me look like a verbal knucklehead...
But I have something to edit and revise later. What do you have?
#5amWritersClub, where waking early to write poorly is better than not writing at all.
But I have something to edit and revise later. What do you have?
#5amWritersClub, where waking early to write poorly is better than not writing at all.
In this month’s LOW NOTES, I compare my love for used CDs with my current WIP. Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/aint-no-sc...
#5amWritersClub
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/aint-no-sc...
#5amWritersClub
Ain't No School Like the Old School
How my used CD collection resembles my WIP
jayheltzer.substack.com
August 1, 2026 at 10:42 AM
In this month’s LOW NOTES, I compare my love for used CDs with my current WIP. Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/aint-no-sc...
#5amWritersClub
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/aint-no-sc...
#5amWritersClub
Another SHIT day ahead, right? 💩
So Happy It's Thursday!
(Sure, you could be one of those peppy "Pre-Friday" people, but whatever.)
GM #5amWritersClub 🌅
So Happy It's Thursday!
(Sure, you could be one of those peppy "Pre-Friday" people, but whatever.)
GM #5amWritersClub 🌅
July 30, 2026 at 9:02 AM
Another SHIT day ahead, right? 💩
So Happy It's Thursday!
(Sure, you could be one of those peppy "Pre-Friday" people, but whatever.)
GM #5amWritersClub 🌅
So Happy It's Thursday!
(Sure, you could be one of those peppy "Pre-Friday" people, but whatever.)
GM #5amWritersClub 🌅
Me: Holy crap. I can look up the exact time of sunset on a particular day at a particular spot on the globe back in 1939! 🌇
Also me: Holy crap, this new sunset detail completely throws off the timing of my chapter. 🕰️
Not all info is good info I guess.
#5amWritersClub
Also me: Holy crap, this new sunset detail completely throws off the timing of my chapter. 🕰️
Not all info is good info I guess.
#5amWritersClub
Hide The Pain Harold Harold
ALT: Hide The Pain Harold Harold
static.klipy.com
July 28, 2026 at 9:52 AM
Me: Holy crap. I can look up the exact time of sunset on a particular day at a particular spot on the globe back in 1939! 🌇
Also me: Holy crap, this new sunset detail completely throws off the timing of my chapter. 🕰️
Not all info is good info I guess.
#5amWritersClub
Also me: Holy crap, this new sunset detail completely throws off the timing of my chapter. 🕰️
Not all info is good info I guess.
#5amWritersClub
I have been trained so well by technology that I automatically press SHIFT + ENTER to start a new line or paragraph out of fear of accidentally "sending" something before I'm done writing it, whether it's on social media or not.
Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ok, time for fiction...
#5amWritersClub
Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ok, time for fiction...
#5amWritersClub
Courage the Cowardly Dog Typing on Computer
ALT: Courage the Cowardly Dog Typing on Computer
static.klipy.com
July 27, 2026 at 9:02 AM
I have been trained so well by technology that I automatically press SHIFT + ENTER to start a new line or paragraph out of fear of accidentally "sending" something before I'm done writing it, whether it's on social media or not.
Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ok, time for fiction...
#5amWritersClub
Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ok, time for fiction...
#5amWritersClub
Me: I need this one detail...
WIP: You don't have time for this.
Me: It's an important–
WIP: The chapter isn't about whether there was a fence. Move on.
Me: But my readers need to know.
WIP: At this rate, you won't finish the book and won't have readers.
Me: Fine.
#5amWritersClub #HistoricFiction
WIP: You don't have time for this.
Me: It's an important–
WIP: The chapter isn't about whether there was a fence. Move on.
Me: But my readers need to know.
WIP: At this rate, you won't finish the book and won't have readers.
Me: Fine.
#5amWritersClub #HistoricFiction
Seeker: More Research Is Needed
ALT: Seeker: More Research Is Needed
static.klipy.com
July 23, 2026 at 9:32 AM
Me: I need this one detail...
WIP: You don't have time for this.
Me: It's an important–
WIP: The chapter isn't about whether there was a fence. Move on.
Me: But my readers need to know.
WIP: At this rate, you won't finish the book and won't have readers.
Me: Fine.
#5amWritersClub #HistoricFiction
WIP: You don't have time for this.
Me: It's an important–
WIP: The chapter isn't about whether there was a fence. Move on.
Me: But my readers need to know.
WIP: At this rate, you won't finish the book and won't have readers.
Me: Fine.
#5amWritersClub #HistoricFiction
If this doesn't define my existence in the #5amWritersClub, then nothing will.
July 21, 2026 at 9:32 AM
If this doesn't define my existence in the #5amWritersClub, then nothing will.
Sit down
open laptop
same chapter
same problems
same writer
Back at it, 'cause what else am I going to do now that I'm awake? Eggzactly!
#5amWritersClub
open laptop
same chapter
same problems
same writer
Back at it, 'cause what else am I going to do now that I'm awake? Eggzactly!
#5amWritersClub
Samus Paulicelli: We Are Not Done Yet
ALT: Samus Paulicelli: We Are Not Done Yet
static.klipy.com
July 20, 2026 at 9:09 AM
Sit down
open laptop
same chapter
same problems
same writer
Back at it, 'cause what else am I going to do now that I'm awake? Eggzactly!
#5amWritersClub
open laptop
same chapter
same problems
same writer
Back at it, 'cause what else am I going to do now that I'm awake? Eggzactly!
#5amWritersClub
In this month's LOW NOTES, I got shoved into the AI machine and something else came out.
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/i-got-aied...
#5amWritersClub
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/i-got-aied...
#5amWritersClub
I Got AI'ed and You Will Too
What happened when someone fed me to the monster?
jayheltzer.substack.com
May 1, 2026 at 9:25 AM
In this month's LOW NOTES, I got shoved into the AI machine and something else came out.
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/i-got-aied...
#5amWritersClub
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/i-got-aied...
#5amWritersClub
In this month’s LOW NOTES, I found the perfect place to less my more. It’s in Houston, Texas.
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/the-rothko...
#5amWritersClub
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/the-rothko...
#5amWritersClub
The Rothko Chapel
The ultimate place to "Less is More" your brain.
jayheltzer.substack.com
April 1, 2026 at 9:58 AM
In this month’s LOW NOTES, I found the perfect place to less my more. It’s in Houston, Texas.
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/the-rothko...
#5amWritersClub
Read and subscribe, peoples.
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/the-rothko...
#5amWritersClub
@itsdonaldrus.bsky.social Hey there, Donald. I’ll bet a lot of money we don’t have the same pad, Lamy fountain pen, and gold-plated bass trombone mouthpiece. Please remove my picture from your header.
March 14, 2026 at 12:44 PM
@itsdonaldrus.bsky.social Hey there, Donald. I’ll bet a lot of money we don’t have the same pad, Lamy fountain pen, and gold-plated bass trombone mouthpiece. Please remove my picture from your header.
In this month's LOW NOTES, I try to apply a year of "Less is More" to my writing desk, and it doesn't go well.
Read and subscribe, peoples.
#5amwritersclub
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/all-the-co...
Read and subscribe, peoples.
#5amwritersclub
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/all-the-co...
All the Colors Before Me
The subtle art of drawing attention to something
jayheltzer.substack.com
February 1, 2026 at 11:03 AM
In this month's LOW NOTES, I try to apply a year of "Less is More" to my writing desk, and it doesn't go well.
Read and subscribe, peoples.
#5amwritersclub
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/all-the-co...
Read and subscribe, peoples.
#5amwritersclub
jayheltzer.substack.com/p/all-the-co...
First VDP of 2026 is tomorrow, building MOMENTUM for the rest of the year.
Plus... first details about the annual Journey to Jupiter in-person writing retreat.
You KNOW you want to be there... so be there.
#5amWritersClub
Plus... first details about the annual Journey to Jupiter in-person writing retreat.
You KNOW you want to be there... so be there.
#5amWritersClub
Virtual Donut Parties are back for '26, starting this Friday 1/9 at 5am ET via Zoom.
How to build MOMENTUM for a successful year
-Repetition
-Asking little & big questions of your work
-Measuring Success
-Celebrating without Slowing Down
#5amWritersClub
DM me for the new Zoom link
How to build MOMENTUM for a successful year
-Repetition
-Asking little & big questions of your work
-Measuring Success
-Celebrating without Slowing Down
#5amWritersClub
DM me for the new Zoom link
January 8, 2026 at 10:23 AM
First VDP of 2026 is tomorrow, building MOMENTUM for the rest of the year.
Plus... first details about the annual Journey to Jupiter in-person writing retreat.
You KNOW you want to be there... so be there.
#5amWritersClub
Plus... first details about the annual Journey to Jupiter in-person writing retreat.
You KNOW you want to be there... so be there.
#5amWritersClub
Virtual Donut Parties are back for '26, starting this Friday 1/9 at 5am ET via Zoom.
How to build MOMENTUM for a successful year
-Repetition
-Asking little & big questions of your work
-Measuring Success
-Celebrating without Slowing Down
#5amWritersClub
DM me for the new Zoom link
How to build MOMENTUM for a successful year
-Repetition
-Asking little & big questions of your work
-Measuring Success
-Celebrating without Slowing Down
#5amWritersClub
DM me for the new Zoom link
January 5, 2026 at 9:58 AM
Virtual Donut Parties are back for '26, starting this Friday 1/9 at 5am ET via Zoom.
How to build MOMENTUM for a successful year
-Repetition
-Asking little & big questions of your work
-Measuring Success
-Celebrating without Slowing Down
#5amWritersClub
DM me for the new Zoom link
How to build MOMENTUM for a successful year
-Repetition
-Asking little & big questions of your work
-Measuring Success
-Celebrating without Slowing Down
#5amWritersClub
DM me for the new Zoom link
🧠More.
♥️Less.
✋🏻Some?
🧠It needs more.
♥️But not with unnecessary fluff. Move on.
✋🏻Gimme something, please.
🧠We haven't fully told the story. We've barely filled the scene.
♥️The reader understands. We shouldn't be working this hard!
✋🏻Kinda like this post?
#5amWritersClub
♥️Less.
✋🏻Some?
🧠It needs more.
♥️But not with unnecessary fluff. Move on.
✋🏻Gimme something, please.
🧠We haven't fully told the story. We've barely filled the scene.
♥️The reader understands. We shouldn't be working this hard!
✋🏻Kinda like this post?
#5amWritersClub
December 26, 2025 at 10:17 AM
🧠More.
♥️Less.
✋🏻Some?
🧠It needs more.
♥️But not with unnecessary fluff. Move on.
✋🏻Gimme something, please.
🧠We haven't fully told the story. We've barely filled the scene.
♥️The reader understands. We shouldn't be working this hard!
✋🏻Kinda like this post?
#5amWritersClub
♥️Less.
✋🏻Some?
🧠It needs more.
♥️But not with unnecessary fluff. Move on.
✋🏻Gimme something, please.
🧠We haven't fully told the story. We've barely filled the scene.
♥️The reader understands. We shouldn't be working this hard!
✋🏻Kinda like this post?
#5amWritersClub
🧠I'm so tired. Not just sleepy tired, but so... ugh.
♥️I get it. You wanna write?
🧠Yeah, but... its easier to not bother.
♥️That's no fun. Writing is fun.
🧠Yeah, but–
♥️Hey... don't ever forget: Writing is fun. Doesn't have to be anything else.
🧠 😀
✋🏻Game on!
#5amWritersClub
♥️I get it. You wanna write?
🧠Yeah, but... its easier to not bother.
♥️That's no fun. Writing is fun.
🧠Yeah, but–
♥️Hey... don't ever forget: Writing is fun. Doesn't have to be anything else.
🧠 😀
✋🏻Game on!
#5amWritersClub
December 24, 2025 at 10:17 AM
🧠I'm so tired. Not just sleepy tired, but so... ugh.
♥️I get it. You wanna write?
🧠Yeah, but... its easier to not bother.
♥️That's no fun. Writing is fun.
🧠Yeah, but–
♥️Hey... don't ever forget: Writing is fun. Doesn't have to be anything else.
🧠 😀
✋🏻Game on!
#5amWritersClub
♥️I get it. You wanna write?
🧠Yeah, but... its easier to not bother.
♥️That's no fun. Writing is fun.
🧠Yeah, but–
♥️Hey... don't ever forget: Writing is fun. Doesn't have to be anything else.
🧠 😀
✋🏻Game on!
#5amWritersClub
♥️The holiday concerts are over.
🧠Halleluyah!
♥️Time to finish with the gifts.
🧠Crap!
♥️But we get to write first.
🧠Halleluyah!
♥️Time to finish that synopsis.
🧠AW CRAP!
#5amWritersClub
🧠Halleluyah!
♥️Time to finish with the gifts.
🧠Crap!
♥️But we get to write first.
🧠Halleluyah!
♥️Time to finish that synopsis.
🧠AW CRAP!
#5amWritersClub
December 22, 2025 at 10:13 AM
♥️The holiday concerts are over.
🧠Halleluyah!
♥️Time to finish with the gifts.
🧠Crap!
♥️But we get to write first.
🧠Halleluyah!
♥️Time to finish that synopsis.
🧠AW CRAP!
#5amWritersClub
🧠Halleluyah!
♥️Time to finish with the gifts.
🧠Crap!
♥️But we get to write first.
🧠Halleluyah!
♥️Time to finish that synopsis.
🧠AW CRAP!
#5amWritersClub
🧠It's synopsis time.
♥️I believe in you.
✋🏻Good luck.
🧠The heroine... no. The night was...
♥️Take your time.
✋🏻You know the story, right?
🧠On a dark desert highway...
♥️That's not–
✋🏻Oh lord.🤦🏻
🧠Who's the MC again?
♥️This may take a while.
✋🏻I'll make more tea.
#5amWritersClub
♥️I believe in you.
✋🏻Good luck.
🧠The heroine... no. The night was...
♥️Take your time.
✋🏻You know the story, right?
🧠On a dark desert highway...
♥️That's not–
✋🏻Oh lord.🤦🏻
🧠Who's the MC again?
♥️This may take a while.
✋🏻I'll make more tea.
#5amWritersClub
December 21, 2025 at 11:37 AM
🧠It's synopsis time.
♥️I believe in you.
✋🏻Good luck.
🧠The heroine... no. The night was...
♥️Take your time.
✋🏻You know the story, right?
🧠On a dark desert highway...
♥️That's not–
✋🏻Oh lord.🤦🏻
🧠Who's the MC again?
♥️This may take a while.
✋🏻I'll make more tea.
#5amWritersClub
♥️I believe in you.
✋🏻Good luck.
🧠The heroine... no. The night was...
♥️Take your time.
✋🏻You know the story, right?
🧠On a dark desert highway...
♥️That's not–
✋🏻Oh lord.🤦🏻
🧠Who's the MC again?
♥️This may take a while.
✋🏻I'll make more tea.
#5amWritersClub
🧠Its go-time.
♥️Hold on... a few more journal thoughts...
✋🏻We'll be with you in a sec.
🧠... Now?
♥️...
🧠Now??
♥️...
🧠Now???
♥️If you don't mind, I need to SCREAM INTO THE VOID AND CAN'T START THE CREATIVE PART TILL I'M DONE, OK?
🧠Damn.
✋🏻Told you.
#5amWritersClub
♥️Hold on... a few more journal thoughts...
✋🏻We'll be with you in a sec.
🧠... Now?
♥️...
🧠Now??
♥️...
🧠Now???
♥️If you don't mind, I need to SCREAM INTO THE VOID AND CAN'T START THE CREATIVE PART TILL I'M DONE, OK?
🧠Damn.
✋🏻Told you.
#5amWritersClub
December 20, 2025 at 10:44 AM
🧠Its go-time.
♥️Hold on... a few more journal thoughts...
✋🏻We'll be with you in a sec.
🧠... Now?
♥️...
🧠Now??
♥️...
🧠Now???
♥️If you don't mind, I need to SCREAM INTO THE VOID AND CAN'T START THE CREATIVE PART TILL I'M DONE, OK?
🧠Damn.
✋🏻Told you.
#5amWritersClub
♥️Hold on... a few more journal thoughts...
✋🏻We'll be with you in a sec.
🧠... Now?
♥️...
🧠Now??
♥️...
🧠Now???
♥️If you don't mind, I need to SCREAM INTO THE VOID AND CAN'T START THE CREATIVE PART TILL I'M DONE, OK?
🧠Damn.
✋🏻Told you.
#5amWritersClub
I predict there's going to be a ton of frustrated Wordle players today.
Anyhoo, anyone seen my focus? It was here yesterday.
#5amWritersClub
Anyhoo, anyone seen my focus? It was here yesterday.
#5amWritersClub
a man wearing a yellow shirt with the letter a on the front
ALT: a man wearing a yellow shirt with the letter a on the front
media.tenor.com
December 19, 2025 at 11:53 AM
I predict there's going to be a ton of frustrated Wordle players today.
Anyhoo, anyone seen my focus? It was here yesterday.
#5amWritersClub
Anyhoo, anyone seen my focus? It was here yesterday.
#5amWritersClub
♥️You really need to finish holliday shopping.
🧠What would my MC want for Christmas?
♥️Most of the good stuff is gone.
🧠Are there any gifts in Chapter 6 of my WIP?
♥️You're running out of time.
🧠Time is a plot problem.
♥️Oy, you're your own plot problem.
🤦🏻🎄
#5amWritersClub
🧠What would my MC want for Christmas?
♥️Most of the good stuff is gone.
🧠Are there any gifts in Chapter 6 of my WIP?
♥️You're running out of time.
🧠Time is a plot problem.
♥️Oy, you're your own plot problem.
🤦🏻🎄
#5amWritersClub
December 18, 2025 at 10:03 AM
♥️You really need to finish holliday shopping.
🧠What would my MC want for Christmas?
♥️Most of the good stuff is gone.
🧠Are there any gifts in Chapter 6 of my WIP?
♥️You're running out of time.
🧠Time is a plot problem.
♥️Oy, you're your own plot problem.
🤦🏻🎄
#5amWritersClub
🧠What would my MC want for Christmas?
♥️Most of the good stuff is gone.
🧠Are there any gifts in Chapter 6 of my WIP?
♥️You're running out of time.
🧠Time is a plot problem.
♥️Oy, you're your own plot problem.
🤦🏻🎄
#5amWritersClub