J. Michael Mull
@jmichaelmull.bsky.social
I've ran out of clever things to write here about five social networks ago, so I'm just gonna play this out a little bit and see if it sticks.
I'm just saying they shouldn't be playing football this late on a school night, but if they want to do some lascivious "NFL after dark" thing, I have suggestions
September 18, 2026 at 3:11 AM
I'm just saying they shouldn't be playing football this late on a school night, but if they want to do some lascivious "NFL after dark" thing, I have suggestions
at this stage in life, opportunities to eat one of those giant pretzels where half the coarse salt falls off are few and far between
September 18, 2026 at 3:01 AM
at this stage in life, opportunities to eat one of those giant pretzels where half the coarse salt falls off are few and far between
I was gifted this Steve Martin cartoon book a couple of years ago, and this drawing has become one of my go-to resets whenever my brain gets overwhelmed. I don't know why, but it's easily one of the funniest things I've ever seen
September 18, 2026 at 2:12 AM
I was gifted this Steve Martin cartoon book a couple of years ago, and this drawing has become one of my go-to resets whenever my brain gets overwhelmed. I don't know why, but it's easily one of the funniest things I've ever seen
pronouncing mauve exactly like some prick would
September 18, 2026 at 12:00 AM
pronouncing mauve exactly like some prick would
You try not to snack. I have no time to meal. We are not the same.
September 17, 2026 at 8:46 PM
You try not to snack. I have no time to meal. We are not the same.
Katy Perry smells blood in the water, so she's about to commit some radical centrism and drop her next flop, "I Had a Three-Way with an Israeli and a Palestinian (And I Liked It)"
*I know I retired from making fun of Katy Perry for being awful in every way possible, but you have to give me this one
*I know I retired from making fun of Katy Perry for being awful in every way possible, but you have to give me this one
September 17, 2026 at 8:40 PM
Katy Perry smells blood in the water, so she's about to commit some radical centrism and drop her next flop, "I Had a Three-Way with an Israeli and a Palestinian (And I Liked It)"
*I know I retired from making fun of Katy Perry for being awful in every way possible, but you have to give me this one
*I know I retired from making fun of Katy Perry for being awful in every way possible, but you have to give me this one
I don't know where you live, but our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man has been court-ordered to stay 500 feet away from the local elementary school
September 17, 2026 at 5:22 PM
I don't know where you live, but our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man has been court-ordered to stay 500 feet away from the local elementary school
Easier said than done. Oh, really? Try telling that to a mime
September 17, 2026 at 4:53 PM
Easier said than done. Oh, really? Try telling that to a mime
I like to think I bridge the gap between high and low art to create something delightfully middling
September 17, 2026 at 1:29 PM
I like to think I bridge the gap between high and low art to create something delightfully middling
people went absolutely apeshit like 10 years ago when a chef would crack an egg on top of a pizza, but when I add a personal pan pizza atop my breakfast, I’m shunned for my beliefs
September 17, 2026 at 1:22 AM
people went absolutely apeshit like 10 years ago when a chef would crack an egg on top of a pizza, but when I add a personal pan pizza atop my breakfast, I’m shunned for my beliefs
ay, listen up, toxicity score, gimme a break, willya? I got your toxic score, right here, pal, oh!
September 16, 2026 at 11:36 PM
ay, listen up, toxicity score, gimme a break, willya? I got your toxic score, right here, pal, oh!
word of advice: the world doesn't need any more devil's advocates. We're stocked full. In fact, we have several pallets of them wasting away out back. Don't tell the health inspector 🤫
September 16, 2026 at 9:53 PM
word of advice: the world doesn't need any more devil's advocates. We're stocked full. In fact, we have several pallets of them wasting away out back. Don't tell the health inspector 🤫
making history as the first president with a side pony
September 16, 2026 at 4:59 PM
making history as the first president with a side pony
Vance out there preaching the war will end after the election, right before passing around the collection plate
September 16, 2026 at 4:20 PM
Vance out there preaching the war will end after the election, right before passing around the collection plate
time for me to stop being a Meryl Skeet and go to Meryl Sleep
September 16, 2026 at 6:38 AM
time for me to stop being a Meryl Skeet and go to Meryl Sleep
I don't know why, but you'll automatically look 10% more attractive in a sailor's hat
September 16, 2026 at 1:47 AM
I don't know why, but you'll automatically look 10% more attractive in a sailor's hat
your laid-back attitude is putting me ill at ease
September 16, 2026 at 12:48 AM
your laid-back attitude is putting me ill at ease
Robert Kraft heard all of your corny "I wish he would Mackle less" jokes for years, so really, you all have yourselves to blame.
September 15, 2026 at 11:54 PM
Robert Kraft heard all of your corny "I wish he would Mackle less" jokes for years, so really, you all have yourselves to blame.
got a reddit notification that I'm a top 5% commenter in my community. You know what that means? It means I'm a loser
September 15, 2026 at 7:26 PM
got a reddit notification that I'm a top 5% commenter in my community. You know what that means? It means I'm a loser
doordashing a fourth-grade bake sale
September 15, 2026 at 4:02 PM
doordashing a fourth-grade bake sale
Please stop telling all these shut-ins to go touch grass. They’re clogging up the sidewalk
September 15, 2026 at 12:19 PM
Please stop telling all these shut-ins to go touch grass. They’re clogging up the sidewalk
in my head, Emerge by Fischerspooner is playing over this clip on a constant loop
Feels good, looks good
Sounds good, looks good
Feels good, too
Feels good, too (uh-huh, that's right)
Feels good, too (uh-huh, that's right)
You don't need to, emerge from nothing
You don't need to tear away
Feels good, looks good
Sounds good, looks good
Feels good, too
Feels good, too (uh-huh, that's right)
Feels good, too (uh-huh, that's right)
You don't need to, emerge from nothing
You don't need to tear away
whatcha thinkin?
September 15, 2026 at 3:40 AM
in my head, Emerge by Fischerspooner is playing over this clip on a constant loop
Feels good, looks good
Sounds good, looks good
Feels good, too
Feels good, too (uh-huh, that's right)
Feels good, too (uh-huh, that's right)
You don't need to, emerge from nothing
You don't need to tear away
Feels good, looks good
Sounds good, looks good
Feels good, too
Feels good, too (uh-huh, that's right)
Feels good, too (uh-huh, that's right)
You don't need to, emerge from nothing
You don't need to tear away
that feeling when you've only slept with an Emmy nominee and not an Emmy winner 😢
September 15, 2026 at 2:59 AM
that feeling when you've only slept with an Emmy nominee and not an Emmy winner 😢
you just know Woody Harrelson tried to convince McConaughey to run for governor. remember that shit
September 15, 2026 at 2:52 AM
you just know Woody Harrelson tried to convince McConaughey to run for governor. remember that shit