🌴✨🦋 Kathryn 🦋✨🌴
@kathrynkatiekwrites.substack.com
Come up for air with me.
A small break from the noise.
Still paying attention... just not losing myself in it.
Alum @KamalaHarris
✨ Substack: https://kathrynkatiekwrites.substack.com ✨
A small break from the noise.
Still paying attention... just not losing myself in it.
Alum @KamalaHarris
✨ Substack: https://kathrynkatiekwrites.substack.com ✨
Pinned
Raise your hand if you need a little pause from life and its stress. A little wine, 5 million dollars, a flat stomach and your own island, perhaps? I can't provide you with any of that, but how about a laugh or two? If you enjoy my humor, click here👇 and subscribe.😉
KathrynKatieKWrites.substack.com
KathrynKatieKWrites.substack.com
Turns out, they were prepping us for self checkout the whole time.
August 31, 2026 at 6:23 PM
Turns out, they were prepping us for self checkout the whole time.
Ever since my first real job, I knew that I wanted to be retired.
August 31, 2026 at 5:21 PM
Ever since my first real job, I knew that I wanted to be retired.
My doctor told me to take my new medicine on an empty stomach. I didn't have the heart to tell him that my stomach hasn't been empty since around 2015.
August 20, 2026 at 6:42 PM
My doctor told me to take my new medicine on an empty stomach. I didn't have the heart to tell him that my stomach hasn't been empty since around 2015.
Whenever a car waits for me to cross the street, I wave and walk across while pumping my arms, as if I'm hurrying, because I need them to think, "Wow, what a stellar pedestrian."
August 18, 2026 at 8:33 PM
Whenever a car waits for me to cross the street, I wave and walk across while pumping my arms, as if I'm hurrying, because I need them to think, "Wow, what a stellar pedestrian."
My son saw a fly in his room, so he brought the bug zapper in from the patio and closed the door and filmed the execution. In case anyone's looking to critique my parenting skills...
August 17, 2026 at 10:37 PM
My son saw a fly in his room, so he brought the bug zapper in from the patio and closed the door and filmed the execution. In case anyone's looking to critique my parenting skills...
To the person who's aimlessly walking in the parking lot, looking for their car they parked ten minutes ago...
you are my people.
you are my people.
August 17, 2026 at 5:50 PM
To the person who's aimlessly walking in the parking lot, looking for their car they parked ten minutes ago...
you are my people.
you are my people.
FYI: Obviously, check the label, but this is a great added level of protection.
August 17, 2026 at 5:10 PM
FYI: Obviously, check the label, but this is a great added level of protection.
When I'm an old lady, I'm gonna leave snacks in little bags on the floor all over the house, in case I fall down.
August 17, 2026 at 4:23 PM
When I'm an old lady, I'm gonna leave snacks in little bags on the floor all over the house, in case I fall down.
Morning me just stripped the bed.
Evening me is gonna be pissed.
Evening me is gonna be pissed.
August 14, 2026 at 6:39 PM
Morning me just stripped the bed.
Evening me is gonna be pissed.
Evening me is gonna be pissed.
When I was a teen, I could load film into a camera, program and connect a VCR, repair cassette tapes with a pencil, and jump start my car using a hill.
Now, I'm like, "I don't get how to use this credit card tap thingy."
Now, I'm like, "I don't get how to use this credit card tap thingy."
August 13, 2026 at 6:26 PM
When I was a teen, I could load film into a camera, program and connect a VCR, repair cassette tapes with a pencil, and jump start my car using a hill.
Now, I'm like, "I don't get how to use this credit card tap thingy."
Now, I'm like, "I don't get how to use this credit card tap thingy."
Last night, I wanted to drink coffee.
This morning, I'm drinking coffee.
Don't give up. Follow your dreams...
This morning, I'm drinking coffee.
Don't give up. Follow your dreams...
August 13, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Last night, I wanted to drink coffee.
This morning, I'm drinking coffee.
Don't give up. Follow your dreams...
This morning, I'm drinking coffee.
Don't give up. Follow your dreams...
If we're drinking and I say that I can do a somersault,
stop me.
Because no, I can't.
stop me.
Because no, I can't.
August 11, 2026 at 10:25 PM
If we're drinking and I say that I can do a somersault,
stop me.
Because no, I can't.
stop me.
Because no, I can't.
I swear, every time I start a diet, lettuce gets recalled.
August 11, 2026 at 6:02 PM
I swear, every time I start a diet, lettuce gets recalled.
Adulthood is putting up with twenty serious problems in silence and then collapsing because your fork fell.
August 10, 2026 at 9:30 PM
Adulthood is putting up with twenty serious problems in silence and then collapsing because your fork fell.
Friend: Let's meet at 8.
Me: PM?? Or AM??
Because both are a no.
Me: PM?? Or AM??
Because both are a no.
August 10, 2026 at 8:08 PM
Friend: Let's meet at 8.
Me: PM?? Or AM??
Because both are a no.
Me: PM?? Or AM??
Because both are a no.
Happy Monday All~
Who else is super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread?
Who else is super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread?
August 10, 2026 at 6:33 PM
Happy Monday All~
Who else is super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread?
Who else is super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread?
1) Text yourself a link because it's the quickest way to get it onto your phone.
2) Get excited when your phone buzzes... completely forgetting you're the one who texted yourself.
2) Get excited when your phone buzzes... completely forgetting you're the one who texted yourself.
July 8, 2026 at 9:45 PM
1) Text yourself a link because it's the quickest way to get it onto your phone.
2) Get excited when your phone buzzes... completely forgetting you're the one who texted yourself.
2) Get excited when your phone buzzes... completely forgetting you're the one who texted yourself.
How to care for cast iron:
1. Clean it.
2. Dry it.
3. Oil it.
4. John three online groups to ask if you cleaned it correctly.
5. Receive 847 conflicting answers.
6. Begin questioning your life choices.
7. Oil it again, just to be sure.
1. Clean it.
2. Dry it.
3. Oil it.
4. John three online groups to ask if you cleaned it correctly.
5. Receive 847 conflicting answers.
6. Begin questioning your life choices.
7. Oil it again, just to be sure.
June 23, 2026 at 9:10 PM
How to care for cast iron:
1. Clean it.
2. Dry it.
3. Oil it.
4. John three online groups to ask if you cleaned it correctly.
5. Receive 847 conflicting answers.
6. Begin questioning your life choices.
7. Oil it again, just to be sure.
1. Clean it.
2. Dry it.
3. Oil it.
4. John three online groups to ask if you cleaned it correctly.
5. Receive 847 conflicting answers.
6. Begin questioning your life choices.
7. Oil it again, just to be sure.
Hell hath no fury like me when I'm slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
(Is it lunch time yet?)
(Is it lunch time yet?)
June 23, 2026 at 6:11 PM
Hell hath no fury like me when I'm slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
(Is it lunch time yet?)
(Is it lunch time yet?)
[When I first started my job:] What else needs to be done? How can I help?
[Now:] Fire me. I freaking dare you.
[Now:] Fire me. I freaking dare you.
June 22, 2026 at 6:12 PM
[When I first started my job:] What else needs to be done? How can I help?
[Now:] Fire me. I freaking dare you.
[Now:] Fire me. I freaking dare you.
PSA: I *almost* got got. 😑
Received a DM offering a shiny new Bluesky verification badge. Very exciting. Very flattering. Very fake.
It links to a phishing site designed to collect login credentials.
Sharing screenshots so nobody gets snagged.
Stay diligent! Report. Block. Mock relentlessly.
Received a DM offering a shiny new Bluesky verification badge. Very exciting. Very flattering. Very fake.
It links to a phishing site designed to collect login credentials.
Sharing screenshots so nobody gets snagged.
Stay diligent! Report. Block. Mock relentlessly.
June 22, 2026 at 6:05 PM
PSA: I *almost* got got. 😑
Received a DM offering a shiny new Bluesky verification badge. Very exciting. Very flattering. Very fake.
It links to a phishing site designed to collect login credentials.
Sharing screenshots so nobody gets snagged.
Stay diligent! Report. Block. Mock relentlessly.
Received a DM offering a shiny new Bluesky verification badge. Very exciting. Very flattering. Very fake.
It links to a phishing site designed to collect login credentials.
Sharing screenshots so nobody gets snagged.
Stay diligent! Report. Block. Mock relentlessly.
I wish my coworkers would stop telling me their newborn's weight and length... like, what am I supposed to do with this information?
June 18, 2026 at 6:38 PM
I wish my coworkers would stop telling me their newborn's weight and length... like, what am I supposed to do with this information?
My biggest challenge is the fact that I only like salads when they're made by other people and cost me $15.
June 18, 2026 at 5:57 PM
My biggest challenge is the fact that I only like salads when they're made by other people and cost me $15.
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of growing up to provide strategic thought leadership that drives meaningful outcomes across a dynamic, fast-paced environment.
June 17, 2026 at 11:08 PM
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of growing up to provide strategic thought leadership that drives meaningful outcomes across a dynamic, fast-paced environment.