@magicdiagonal.bsky.social
For too long have the people been deprived of my intellect
Does demolishing and bulldozing civilian homes across 60 villages in a neighboring country constitute a war crime? Here tonight to explain it to us, we have The Guy Who Did It
October 16, 2026 at 7:29 PM
Does demolishing and bulldozing civilian homes across 60 villages in a neighboring country constitute a war crime? Here tonight to explain it to us, we have The Guy Who Did It
AI CEOs on Reels:
"AI might destroy the world by Q1 2027. That's why Congress must liquidate my competitors and direct all their profits to me, whom you can trust. After all, I'm the only one warning you that..." [video loops]
"AI might destroy the world by Q1 2027. That's why Congress must liquidate my competitors and direct all their profits to me, whom you can trust. After all, I'm the only one warning you that..." [video loops]
October 16, 2026 at 6:53 PM
AI CEOs on Reels:
"AI might destroy the world by Q1 2027. That's why Congress must liquidate my competitors and direct all their profits to me, whom you can trust. After all, I'm the only one warning you that..." [video loops]
"AI might destroy the world by Q1 2027. That's why Congress must liquidate my competitors and direct all their profits to me, whom you can trust. After all, I'm the only one warning you that..." [video loops]
Conservatives be like "God, I love the Constitution. Anyway let's fuckin torture this guy to death for crossing an imaginary line the government drew"
October 15, 2026 at 12:42 PM
Conservatives be like "God, I love the Constitution. Anyway let's fuckin torture this guy to death for crossing an imaginary line the government drew"
Hollywood movies' moral lesson when the theme is kink and sexuality: "Kinksters are predatory weirdos and we should all be monogamous actually"
The lesson when the theme is violence and mass casualties: "war is hell, but... I kind of like it 👉👈"
The lesson when the theme is violence and mass casualties: "war is hell, but... I kind of like it 👉👈"
October 13, 2026 at 3:22 AM
Hollywood movies' moral lesson when the theme is kink and sexuality: "Kinksters are predatory weirdos and we should all be monogamous actually"
The lesson when the theme is violence and mass casualties: "war is hell, but... I kind of like it 👉👈"
The lesson when the theme is violence and mass casualties: "war is hell, but... I kind of like it 👉👈"
A benevolent AI goes rampant and builds a metro system in every midsize city in America before being nuked into oblivion by the US government
October 7, 2026 at 4:00 AM
A benevolent AI goes rampant and builds a metro system in every midsize city in America before being nuked into oblivion by the US government
If you think I sound like an elitist: I believe the estate tax should be 100%, and any person descended from someone who held a title of nobility should be barred from owning real estate for the next 1000 years
October 6, 2026 at 12:48 AM
If you think I sound like an elitist: I believe the estate tax should be 100%, and any person descended from someone who held a title of nobility should be barred from owning real estate for the next 1000 years
The Inflation Reduction Act was a fucking triumph. But the mainstream media won't tell you about it. Not because of any ideological bent; but rather because journalists can't understand equations
October 6, 2026 at 12:39 AM
The Inflation Reduction Act was a fucking triumph. But the mainstream media won't tell you about it. Not because of any ideological bent; but rather because journalists can't understand equations
abolish the death penalty, you fucking savages
October 2, 2026 at 12:54 AM
abolish the death penalty, you fucking savages
The concept of the UN Assembly is kind of crazy. 500 African and Asian delegates come to NYC and vote to curtail the destruction of civilization, then two or three Americans declare "the destruction of civilization shall continue" and veto the resolution
September 24, 2026 at 10:00 AM
The concept of the UN Assembly is kind of crazy. 500 African and Asian delegates come to NYC and vote to curtail the destruction of civilization, then two or three Americans declare "the destruction of civilization shall continue" and veto the resolution
Spotify has a library of over a trillion songs, so we hired a music consultancy to trim it down to the same playlist of 30 songs you'll hear in every other public space in order to assuage consumers' fear of the unfamiliar
September 22, 2026 at 2:45 AM
Spotify has a library of over a trillion songs, so we hired a music consultancy to trim it down to the same playlist of 30 songs you'll hear in every other public space in order to assuage consumers' fear of the unfamiliar
I texted my wife to tell her "I'm like the vegan Anthony Bourdain" and she blocked my number
September 19, 2026 at 11:41 PM
I texted my wife to tell her "I'm like the vegan Anthony Bourdain" and she blocked my number
Every morning I wake up, look in the mirror, and ask myself:
"How will I make my audience feel smug today?"
"How will I make my audience feel smug today?"
September 14, 2026 at 3:42 PM
Every morning I wake up, look in the mirror, and ask myself:
"How will I make my audience feel smug today?"
"How will I make my audience feel smug today?"
You might need to have an extreme opinion for people to talk about you. But you don't need an extreme opinion for people to listen to you.
September 5, 2026 at 11:33 PM
You might need to have an extreme opinion for people to talk about you. But you don't need an extreme opinion for people to listen to you.
The answer to why a piece of media has a low audience review score is almost always "chuds found out about something that wasn't made for them"
September 2, 2026 at 2:34 AM
The answer to why a piece of media has a low audience review score is almost always "chuds found out about something that wasn't made for them"
It's amazing how consistent the service at Chipotle can be across a city of 8 million people. No matter which location you go to across the 5 Boroughs, you'll always be treated to The Worst Food Service Experience of Your Life
August 13, 2026 at 5:55 PM
It's amazing how consistent the service at Chipotle can be across a city of 8 million people. No matter which location you go to across the 5 Boroughs, you'll always be treated to The Worst Food Service Experience of Your Life
99.9% of experts believe this proven scientific fact. So we found the one guy who doesn't and wrote a 10,000-word feature on him:
July 31, 2026 at 12:54 AM
99.9% of experts believe this proven scientific fact. So we found the one guy who doesn't and wrote a 10,000-word feature on him:
I wonder if Palantir would ever use their nigh-limitless powers to prevent a Gazan or Lebanese child from being exploded. or if that would go against their CSR policy
June 26, 2026 at 2:13 PM
I wonder if Palantir would ever use their nigh-limitless powers to prevent a Gazan or Lebanese child from being exploded. or if that would go against their CSR policy
it's amazing that AI can simplify a business report to the level that even a CEO can understand
June 25, 2026 at 1:00 AM
it's amazing that AI can simplify a business report to the level that even a CEO can understand
I have no respect for what you say, but I will defend to the death your obligation to take accountability for it
June 21, 2026 at 3:43 AM
I have no respect for what you say, but I will defend to the death your obligation to take accountability for it
Guys did you hear? They're preparing to schedule a preliminary meeting to set up a framework for talks to negotiate the terms for discussing a plan to open the strait.
We won!
We won!
June 16, 2026 at 2:31 AM
Guys did you hear? They're preparing to schedule a preliminary meeting to set up a framework for talks to negotiate the terms for discussing a plan to open the strait.
We won!
We won!
Imagine going back in time to 2016 and telling past you that one of the top news stories a decade later would be "Elon Musk organizes race riots in Northern Ireland"
June 11, 2026 at 7:24 PM
Imagine going back in time to 2016 and telling past you that one of the top news stories a decade later would be "Elon Musk organizes race riots in Northern Ireland"
If you believe there's a ceasefire, I have an orbital data center to sell you
June 8, 2026 at 3:56 PM
If you believe there's a ceasefire, I have an orbital data center to sell you
I have to say, we're making progress. 10 years ago, Texas swing voters wouldn't have even known what a vegan was
May 31, 2026 at 10:43 PM
I have to say, we're making progress. 10 years ago, Texas swing voters wouldn't have even known what a vegan was
First I hear that Texas has its first ever vegan candidate. Now I hear he's not even vegan. Why all the confusion? Did he eat honey or something?
May 31, 2026 at 10:05 PM
First I hear that Texas has its first ever vegan candidate. Now I hear he's not even vegan. Why all the confusion? Did he eat honey or something?
Look, some human beings find it difficult or impossible to feel empathy for others. Try to put yourself in their shoes.
May 27, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Look, some human beings find it difficult or impossible to feel empathy for others. Try to put yourself in their shoes.