Mathota
@mathota.bsky.social
A simple cultist making their way in the world
Pinned
Mathota
@mathota.bsky.social
· Jun 8
All these hot witches make sense once you know Dark Magic is an appetite suppressant.
I invited all these hot witches to my New Moon party but instead of joining my Cult they are all making out and running away together.
October 19, 2026 at 10:08 PM
I invited all these hot witches to my New Moon party but instead of joining my Cult they are all making out and running away together.
The Elf queen keeps on killing any humans who don't find her The Fairest in the Land.
All sounds like standard stuff until you read the leaked documents and realise this is part of an Ancient Elf eugenics project to selectively breed Humans to Simp for Elvish overlords.
All sounds like standard stuff until you read the leaked documents and realise this is part of an Ancient Elf eugenics project to selectively breed Humans to Simp for Elvish overlords.
October 14, 2026 at 10:47 PM
The Elf queen keeps on killing any humans who don't find her The Fairest in the Land.
All sounds like standard stuff until you read the leaked documents and realise this is part of an Ancient Elf eugenics project to selectively breed Humans to Simp for Elvish overlords.
All sounds like standard stuff until you read the leaked documents and realise this is part of an Ancient Elf eugenics project to selectively breed Humans to Simp for Elvish overlords.
Legalise recreational Time Travel
October 14, 2026 at 9:58 AM
Legalise recreational Time Travel
My goblin apprentice drank the Vial of Gender Fluid and now they've turned into a sexy Ooze.
October 11, 2026 at 1:49 AM
My goblin apprentice drank the Vial of Gender Fluid and now they've turned into a sexy Ooze.
Dune embodies every white man's power fantasy of being given an N-word pass against their will and being forced to use it at gunpoint
October 9, 2026 at 11:49 AM
Dune embodies every white man's power fantasy of being given an N-word pass against their will and being forced to use it at gunpoint
Love is a potent magical component for your Rituals, but just try getting it out of your friends with a juicer.
Not. Easy.
Not. Easy.
September 27, 2026 at 5:18 AM
Love is a potent magical component for your Rituals, but just try getting it out of your friends with a juicer.
Not. Easy.
Not. Easy.
Reposted by Mathota
[having a near death experience] oh my god I saw my ancestors. they told me the egyptians were right we need to start building pyramids right away you can in fact take it all with you
September 22, 2026 at 6:13 PM
[having a near death experience] oh my god I saw my ancestors. they told me the egyptians were right we need to start building pyramids right away you can in fact take it all with you
For someone who loves Lambs so much God was not doing them any favors when he made them really Yummy.
September 21, 2026 at 11:34 PM
For someone who loves Lambs so much God was not doing them any favors when he made them really Yummy.
Using my chronomancy I shall go back in time to the 5th day, when God made Sea Serpents and Birds, and destroy the day itself.
This will Destroy Fridays, creating a 4 day work week.
This will Destroy Fridays, creating a 4 day work week.
September 20, 2026 at 12:42 PM
Using my chronomancy I shall go back in time to the 5th day, when God made Sea Serpents and Birds, and destroy the day itself.
This will Destroy Fridays, creating a 4 day work week.
This will Destroy Fridays, creating a 4 day work week.
The following are True
All who die cowardly deaths go to Hell
There is no cowardly way to be killed by a Demon. They make any death brave in comparison to their horror.
Anyone who summons a Demon will go to Hell.
So: To maximise access to Heaven, we will be giving inmates scrolls of summon Demon
All who die cowardly deaths go to Hell
There is no cowardly way to be killed by a Demon. They make any death brave in comparison to their horror.
Anyone who summons a Demon will go to Hell.
So: To maximise access to Heaven, we will be giving inmates scrolls of summon Demon
September 20, 2026 at 9:55 AM
The following are True
All who die cowardly deaths go to Hell
There is no cowardly way to be killed by a Demon. They make any death brave in comparison to their horror.
Anyone who summons a Demon will go to Hell.
So: To maximise access to Heaven, we will be giving inmates scrolls of summon Demon
All who die cowardly deaths go to Hell
There is no cowardly way to be killed by a Demon. They make any death brave in comparison to their horror.
Anyone who summons a Demon will go to Hell.
So: To maximise access to Heaven, we will be giving inmates scrolls of summon Demon
I cast:
My line over this crystal clear water, hook baited, hoping to catch my meal for the day.
My line over this crystal clear water, hook baited, hoping to catch my meal for the day.
September 20, 2026 at 9:46 AM
I cast:
My line over this crystal clear water, hook baited, hoping to catch my meal for the day.
My line over this crystal clear water, hook baited, hoping to catch my meal for the day.
Reposted by Mathota
You think you’re having a bad day? I just learned I’m a sex cultist
September 19, 2026 at 1:42 AM
You think you’re having a bad day? I just learned I’m a sex cultist
I resent any loading bar that shows me 100%.
No buddy if we are at 100% we are done don't be showing a loading bar show me the thing, don't tell me we are done just be done.
No buddy if we are at 100% we are done don't be showing a loading bar show me the thing, don't tell me we are done just be done.
September 19, 2026 at 7:25 AM
I resent any loading bar that shows me 100%.
No buddy if we are at 100% we are done don't be showing a loading bar show me the thing, don't tell me we are done just be done.
No buddy if we are at 100% we are done don't be showing a loading bar show me the thing, don't tell me we are done just be done.
[Thinking of a resonable request for Charm Monster] Close your eyes and fail this save. I have a special present for you.
September 19, 2026 at 7:23 AM
[Thinking of a resonable request for Charm Monster] Close your eyes and fail this save. I have a special present for you.
Reposted by Mathota
becoming ginger by pure psychic willpower
September 19, 2026 at 3:43 AM
becoming ginger by pure psychic willpower
If you use the [Talk] option on your [Doctor] with [Currency] in your inventory, you can unlock a hidden tab for [Pharmaceuticals].
September 18, 2026 at 9:49 AM
If you use the [Talk] option on your [Doctor] with [Currency] in your inventory, you can unlock a hidden tab for [Pharmaceuticals].
Im not joking guys the stone is missing.
They don't want you to know this but sometime between 2004 and 2023 The Sacred Greenstone (Pounamu), New Zealands contribution to the ritual circle surrounding the Eternal Flame of Peace, was Stolen from the International Peace Palace.
This was the exact moment that Everything started to get worse.
This was the exact moment that Everything started to get worse.
September 17, 2026 at 11:32 AM
Im not joking guys the stone is missing.
Crafting my own boat because when God sends another flood I don't think he's letting me on his.
September 15, 2026 at 12:14 PM
Crafting my own boat because when God sends another flood I don't think he's letting me on his.
It's not a staff its a giants wand and the goodberries it makes are the size of watermelons.
September 14, 2026 at 10:33 AM
It's not a staff its a giants wand and the goodberries it makes are the size of watermelons.
Reposted by Mathota
If thou partook in the brown moon leaf, thou mayest want to see an apothecary
September 13, 2026 at 2:09 AM
If thou partook in the brown moon leaf, thou mayest want to see an apothecary
Reposted by Mathota
striking you down instantly with my psychic powers
September 12, 2026 at 6:39 PM
striking you down instantly with my psychic powers
They don't want you to know this but sometime between 2004 and 2023 The Sacred Greenstone (Pounamu), New Zealands contribution to the ritual circle surrounding the Eternal Flame of Peace, was Stolen from the International Peace Palace.
This was the exact moment that Everything started to get worse.
This was the exact moment that Everything started to get worse.
September 10, 2026 at 7:20 AM
They don't want you to know this but sometime between 2004 and 2023 The Sacred Greenstone (Pounamu), New Zealands contribution to the ritual circle surrounding the Eternal Flame of Peace, was Stolen from the International Peace Palace.
This was the exact moment that Everything started to get worse.
This was the exact moment that Everything started to get worse.
Ive seen a lot of evil in my time and only 30% of it was justified by being rad as hell.
September 10, 2026 at 6:42 AM
Ive seen a lot of evil in my time and only 30% of it was justified by being rad as hell.
There was a blockage between the ų and ɗ Divine Sepharot and trying to fix them I kricked my back and accidentally aligned all my Chakras which released my stuck past lives which caused the Detonation of Nuclear Bomb in the past devistating Japan and kicking us 3ºFarenhight off the sacred Timeline.
September 10, 2026 at 6:20 AM
There was a blockage between the ų and ɗ Divine Sepharot and trying to fix them I kricked my back and accidentally aligned all my Chakras which released my stuck past lives which caused the Detonation of Nuclear Bomb in the past devistating Japan and kicking us 3ºFarenhight off the sacred Timeline.
Pro tip for Council meetings:
Prepare a hot mug of your favorite elixir right as the meeting begins.
Hold your palm against the mug for as long as you can, while maintaining composure, then gently remove, let your palm cool, then do it again.
This will train pain tolerance, and pass the time.
Prepare a hot mug of your favorite elixir right as the meeting begins.
Hold your palm against the mug for as long as you can, while maintaining composure, then gently remove, let your palm cool, then do it again.
This will train pain tolerance, and pass the time.
September 10, 2026 at 3:55 AM
Pro tip for Council meetings:
Prepare a hot mug of your favorite elixir right as the meeting begins.
Hold your palm against the mug for as long as you can, while maintaining composure, then gently remove, let your palm cool, then do it again.
This will train pain tolerance, and pass the time.
Prepare a hot mug of your favorite elixir right as the meeting begins.
Hold your palm against the mug for as long as you can, while maintaining composure, then gently remove, let your palm cool, then do it again.
This will train pain tolerance, and pass the time.