Knew we were hosting a wedding today at my job yet I’m just a bartender and no one told me a dress code so I’m wearing my hot pink bedazzled “I’m with the drummer shirt” hope the bride likes it…….
June 7, 2026 at 9:18 PM
Knew we were hosting a wedding today at my job yet I’m just a bartender and no one told me a dress code so I’m wearing my hot pink bedazzled “I’m with the drummer shirt” hope the bride likes it…….
An angel has lost its wings today ….. my belly button piercing rejected
June 2, 2026 at 8:24 PM
An angel has lost its wings today ….. my belly button piercing rejected
Sometimes when I drive my Mazda car I like to say Elon take the wheel and pretend I’m in a self driving vehicle……
May 22, 2026 at 4:06 AM
Sometimes when I drive my Mazda car I like to say Elon take the wheel and pretend I’m in a self driving vehicle……
Just saw a very artsy sticker depicting Goku however, when I looked at it, I genuinely thought it was a picture of a rat king.
May 18, 2026 at 4:05 PM
Just saw a very artsy sticker depicting Goku however, when I looked at it, I genuinely thought it was a picture of a rat king.
Hey everyone on the road driving 10 under the speed limit and aren’t allowing me to take a left turn what if we played the driving game? It’s a game where you drive the speed limit and get out of my way.
May 18, 2026 at 3:13 PM
Hey everyone on the road driving 10 under the speed limit and aren’t allowing me to take a left turn what if we played the driving game? It’s a game where you drive the speed limit and get out of my way.
AN OLD MAN JUST TOLD ME BC OF MY PIERCINGS I LOOK LIKE I DONT WANT TO BE CONTROLLED ….. He also pretended to snatch my eyebrow piercing …. He was like “you got something stuck there “
May 8, 2026 at 3:24 PM
AN OLD MAN JUST TOLD ME BC OF MY PIERCINGS I LOOK LIKE I DONT WANT TO BE CONTROLLED ….. He also pretended to snatch my eyebrow piercing …. He was like “you got something stuck there “
Dude, the bar last night had a really curated vibe freaky sex vending machine, Fifty Shades of Grey on the TV, and finally playing The Smiths at full volume…..
May 5, 2026 at 10:02 PM
Dude, the bar last night had a really curated vibe freaky sex vending machine, Fifty Shades of Grey on the TV, and finally playing The Smiths at full volume…..
Alexa….. play every single song ever
May 2, 2026 at 1:07 AM
Alexa….. play every single song ever
I had a realization that every man I have ever kissed has tasted like nickels….. what does this mean.
April 14, 2026 at 4:07 PM
I had a realization that every man I have ever kissed has tasted like nickels….. what does this mean.
My friend is spelling slurs not saying them …., #cancleAdele #findhertwitter
April 13, 2026 at 3:40 AM
My friend is spelling slurs not saying them …., #cancleAdele #findhertwitter
My friend just asked “what wonton color ? “
April 13, 2026 at 3:39 AM
My friend just asked “what wonton color ? “
Why’d you look above me and not at me ? 🤨
April 13, 2026 at 3:38 AM
Why’d you look above me and not at me ? 🤨
Officially love wearing boxers …. This shit fire
April 11, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Officially love wearing boxers …. This shit fire
Got told by a friend in Trader Joe’s I have “the personality of someone who dates women” the fuck that mean Eliza ??? 🤨
April 11, 2026 at 6:01 PM
Got told by a friend in Trader Joe’s I have “the personality of someone who dates women” the fuck that mean Eliza ??? 🤨
Therapist said I’m glowing so yeah I’m basically healed 😏
April 11, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Therapist said I’m glowing so yeah I’m basically healed 😏
Guys, I’m entering my she/they era get ready for some basic ass fits where the boxes are showing above the jeans.
April 9, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Guys, I’m entering my she/they era get ready for some basic ass fits where the boxes are showing above the jeans.
The frat boys next-door are playing Bruno Mars really loud and it’s 10:47 AM. I’m not mad actually I’m feeling a little bit proud.It’s just more surprising than anything.
April 9, 2026 at 4:47 PM
The frat boys next-door are playing Bruno Mars really loud and it’s 10:47 AM. I’m not mad actually I’m feeling a little bit proud.It’s just more surprising than anything.
Gonna hit my vape and then watch Despicable Me
April 1, 2026 at 2:29 AM
Gonna hit my vape and then watch Despicable Me
Excuse me ?!?! Scissor what !?!?Scissoring!?!?🤨
March 28, 2026 at 2:22 PM
Excuse me ?!?! Scissor what !?!?Scissoring!?!?🤨
Was lifting to Ethel Caine and crying and it was the best lift of my life.
March 28, 2026 at 2:15 AM
Was lifting to Ethel Caine and crying and it was the best lift of my life.
I forget that when I take the time to do my makeup I’m actually a baddie ….
March 3, 2026 at 8:44 PM
I forget that when I take the time to do my makeup I’m actually a baddie ….
I hate when men are loud together in public spaces
February 21, 2026 at 2:00 AM
I hate when men are loud together in public spaces
My headphones died guess I’m raw dogging the gym like a psychopath
February 21, 2026 at 1:57 AM
My headphones died guess I’m raw dogging the gym like a psychopath
Sitting next to these people clearly studying anatomy the literal thing I tutored and hearing them studying and getting things wrong is making me antsy. It’s taking everything in me not to insert myself in thier studying.
February 21, 2026 at 1:20 AM
Sitting next to these people clearly studying anatomy the literal thing I tutored and hearing them studying and getting things wrong is making me antsy. It’s taking everything in me not to insert myself in thier studying.
At the cafe of despair and yearning I guess, they are playing Glimpse of Us by Joji full blast. Someone save these baristas……
February 21, 2026 at 1:19 AM
At the cafe of despair and yearning I guess, they are playing Glimpse of Us by Joji full blast. Someone save these baristas……