Conspiratorial templates
@mynamehear.bsky.social
My favorite flavor is blue.
Pinned
I'll never forgive my fellow Americans for electing this utter piece of shit. They enabled an entire government full of the worst human beings imaginable and most Americans are too ignorant to even understand what they've done.
Imagine being a USMNT player, gearing up for the biggest game of your life while watching a bunch of your countrymen say they're going to cheer for the other team because the idiot president who lies with every breath *claims* he made a call to FIFA about a red card.
July 6, 2026 at 7:53 PM
Imagine being a USMNT player, gearing up for the biggest game of your life while watching a bunch of your countrymen say they're going to cheer for the other team because the idiot president who lies with every breath *claims* he made a call to FIFA about a red card.
DOGE's sole purpose was to cancel investigations into Elon Musk. That's the only reason it ever existed.
July 5, 2026 at 11:09 PM
DOGE's sole purpose was to cancel investigations into Elon Musk. That's the only reason it ever existed.
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Fun fact: Chuck Grassley is also celebrating his 250th birthday this year.
July 2, 2026 at 11:57 AM
Fun fact: Chuck Grassley is also celebrating his 250th birthday this year.
No American is safer right now than the algae in the reflecting pool
June 25, 2026 at 7:25 PM
No American is safer right now than the algae in the reflecting pool
Elon Musk takes more in government subsidies every single day (approx $8M) than any American will in their entire lives
June 24, 2026 at 12:42 AM
Elon Musk takes more in government subsidies every single day (approx $8M) than any American will in their entire lives
Some people still seem confused as to how capitalism works so here's a step-by-step explainer:
1. All the money and resources go to billionaires
1. All the money and resources go to billionaires
June 18, 2026 at 8:31 PM
Some people still seem confused as to how capitalism works so here's a step-by-step explainer:
1. All the money and resources go to billionaires
1. All the money and resources go to billionaires
BREAKING: Elon Musk promises to make people poor on Mars within 20 years
June 14, 2026 at 11:42 PM
BREAKING: Elon Musk promises to make people poor on Mars within 20 years
I bet no trillionaires have the guts to go see Titanic in a janky sub
June 13, 2026 at 4:48 AM
I bet no trillionaires have the guts to go see Titanic in a janky sub
Becoming the world's first trillionaire also includes an automatic victory in the World's Biggest Cunt contest so congrats on multiple fronts to that chubby douche who uses his own child as a human shield
June 12, 2026 at 8:12 PM
Becoming the world's first trillionaire also includes an automatic victory in the World's Biggest Cunt contest so congrats on multiple fronts to that chubby douche who uses his own child as a human shield
The other place is fun because you wonder if the world's first trillionaire is such a thin-skinned, insecure, whiny little manbaby that he'll target your account because you said something bad about him only to realize yes he absolutely is
June 12, 2026 at 4:41 PM
The other place is fun because you wonder if the world's first trillionaire is such a thin-skinned, insecure, whiny little manbaby that he'll target your account because you said something bad about him only to realize yes he absolutely is
I know most of the country is Knicks fans right now and so am I, but don't forget the Knicks owner is a huge piece of shit and MSG violates the civil rights of everyone who goes there at his behest.
June 9, 2026 at 12:43 AM
I know most of the country is Knicks fans right now and so am I, but don't forget the Knicks owner is a huge piece of shit and MSG violates the civil rights of everyone who goes there at his behest.
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One of Ken Paxton’s former defense attorneys just endorsed James Talarico.
That should tell Texans everything they need to know.
That should tell Texans everything they need to know.
June 8, 2026 at 5:18 PM
One of Ken Paxton’s former defense attorneys just endorsed James Talarico.
That should tell Texans everything they need to know.
That should tell Texans everything they need to know.
We could fix 90% of what's wrong with this country simply by never electing another Republican
June 7, 2026 at 3:04 PM
We could fix 90% of what's wrong with this country simply by never electing another Republican
Stay as far away as you possibly can from the SpaceX IPO. It has the makings of a once-in-a-century pump and dump. Don't be left holding the bag.
June 4, 2026 at 11:17 PM
Stay as far away as you possibly can from the SpaceX IPO. It has the makings of a once-in-a-century pump and dump. Don't be left holding the bag.
The amount of stupid we're forced to endure every single day can't be good for us.
June 2, 2026 at 3:37 PM
The amount of stupid we're forced to endure every single day can't be good for us.
So if I'm antifa do I get my cut of the $1.8B slush fund since it was all an antifa op?
May 19, 2026 at 4:21 PM
So if I'm antifa do I get my cut of the $1.8B slush fund since it was all an antifa op?
Trump is using our money to literally pay off criminals. He's the most corrupt person in American history and the Republicans are just letting him get away with it.
Never forget that.
Never forget that.
May 18, 2026 at 6:52 PM
Trump is using our money to literally pay off criminals. He's the most corrupt person in American history and the Republicans are just letting him get away with it.
Never forget that.
Never forget that.
The modern Republican party is completely untethered from reality, trusting in their purchased propaganda empire to convince Americans the sky is whatever color they need it to be that day. They spent decades destroying education so that this plan would work.
We must wreck that propaganda machine.
We must wreck that propaganda machine.
April 15, 2026 at 2:10 PM
The modern Republican party is completely untethered from reality, trusting in their purchased propaganda empire to convince Americans the sky is whatever color they need it to be that day. They spent decades destroying education so that this plan would work.
We must wreck that propaganda machine.
We must wreck that propaganda machine.
BREAKING: Iran offers unconditional surrender after US threatens to send over JD Vance
April 9, 2026 at 11:39 PM
BREAKING: Iran offers unconditional surrender after US threatens to send over JD Vance
The Trump administration is a systematic grift and nothing else. The SAVE act is about them staying in power so they can continue the grift indefinitely.
March 10, 2026 at 4:46 PM
The Trump administration is a systematic grift and nothing else. The SAVE act is about them staying in power so they can continue the grift indefinitely.
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You cannot change the vote you cast. You CAN change what you do next.
You were lied to. You were betrayed. What matters now is what you decide to do about it.
You were lied to. You were betrayed. What matters now is what you decide to do about it.
March 10, 2026 at 2:14 AM
You cannot change the vote you cast. You CAN change what you do next.
You were lied to. You were betrayed. What matters now is what you decide to do about it.
You were lied to. You were betrayed. What matters now is what you decide to do about it.
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@mynamehear.bsky.social needs to come back over here.🙂
March 9, 2026 at 10:52 PM
@mynamehear.bsky.social needs to come back over here.🙂
Donald Trump threatening to take MAGA's guns away is an absolute chef's kiss
January 27, 2026 at 8:04 PM
Donald Trump threatening to take MAGA's guns away is an absolute chef's kiss
If Erik the Red were alive today I bet he'd be gloating like a mf
Trump is now confusing Greenland and Iceland: "They're not there for us on Iceland, that I can tell you. Our stock market took the first dip yesterday because of Iceland. So Iceland has already cost us a lot of money."
January 21, 2026 at 5:24 PM
If Erik the Red were alive today I bet he'd be gloating like a mf
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Obama actually won his Nobel Peace Prize.
January 15, 2026 at 10:15 PM
Obama actually won his Nobel Peace Prize.