Sometimes I remember that I didn’t get to speak to her one last time before she passed and I remember the pain that made me so desperately want to stop thinking about what happened, my brain and mind has atrophied so significantly in the past few years because of it and still it hurts so much
October 9, 2026 at 5:42 PM
Sometimes I remember that I didn’t get to speak to her one last time before she passed and I remember the pain that made me so desperately want to stop thinking about what happened, my brain and mind has atrophied so significantly in the past few years because of it and still it hurts so much
There is too much to sift through in my mind, and there’s so many blank spaces, I keep forgetting so much of what used to drive me, im drifting further away from the person I wish I could be and unraveling in front of everyone in the worst possible way, I always thought it would be kindest to make
October 4, 2026 at 7:55 AM
There is too much to sift through in my mind, and there’s so many blank spaces, I keep forgetting so much of what used to drive me, im drifting further away from the person I wish I could be and unraveling in front of everyone in the worst possible way, I always thought it would be kindest to make
It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this, even the side of me that wants nothing more than to ruin everything for myself didn’t want this, it feels like between the two paths of thriving and kms Ive been sent down the purgatory style middle where it would be better to be dead yet I keep waking up
October 4, 2026 at 7:45 AM
It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this, even the side of me that wants nothing more than to ruin everything for myself didn’t want this, it feels like between the two paths of thriving and kms Ive been sent down the purgatory style middle where it would be better to be dead yet I keep waking up
I feel an overwhelming sense of shame at where I am in my life right now, I wonder just how much better things could be if I did things differently
October 4, 2026 at 7:36 AM
I feel an overwhelming sense of shame at where I am in my life right now, I wonder just how much better things could be if I did things differently
As if I wasnt fucking ugly enough now my hairlines been pushed probably permanently
September 19, 2026 at 9:45 PM
As if I wasnt fucking ugly enough now my hairlines been pushed probably permanently
Its either I fall apart tonight or I wait another 2 weeks to do so, I dont want bad memories to plague two especially unique and upcoming days for me
September 18, 2026 at 7:52 PM
Its either I fall apart tonight or I wait another 2 weeks to do so, I dont want bad memories to plague two especially unique and upcoming days for me
Cunt of a “dad” back at it again, its crazy how the one person in my personal life that I can say with full certainty that I hate and will never be able to find it within me to forgive is my own “dad”, fuck you you old piece of shit
August 30, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Cunt of a “dad” back at it again, its crazy how the one person in my personal life that I can say with full certainty that I hate and will never be able to find it within me to forgive is my own “dad”, fuck you you old piece of shit
The longer I exist the more this life feels entirely wasted and irreversibly ruined
August 21, 2026 at 5:24 PM
The longer I exist the more this life feels entirely wasted and irreversibly ruined
Still miserable, what a fun time this has been lmao definitely how I wanted to feel during all of this
August 20, 2026 at 6:55 AM
Still miserable, what a fun time this has been lmao definitely how I wanted to feel during all of this
This was supposed to be the best time of the year for me, not just this year but for so many years ive been looking forward to this and now im physically and mentally unable to enjoy it as much as I want to, what a pisstake I hope at the very least something shifts tomorrow but im already losing
August 11, 2026 at 9:07 PM
This was supposed to be the best time of the year for me, not just this year but for so many years ive been looking forward to this and now im physically and mentally unable to enjoy it as much as I want to, what a pisstake I hope at the very least something shifts tomorrow but im already losing
I still am struggling from the side effect of those shit ass meds man this anxiety and dullness hasnt left and it’s continuously dialling me down everytime I get fully excited for anything not even just snezhnaya anymore, this sucks
August 11, 2026 at 7:26 PM
I still am struggling from the side effect of those shit ass meds man this anxiety and dullness hasnt left and it’s continuously dialling me down everytime I get fully excited for anything not even just snezhnaya anymore, this sucks
I get so anxious and stressed that it gives me a headache and its all over bullshit thoughts that those stupid stupid meds gave me im so fucking mad
August 8, 2026 at 9:26 AM
I get so anxious and stressed that it gives me a headache and its all over bullshit thoughts that those stupid stupid meds gave me im so fucking mad
Get these fucking meds out of my system they’re actively ruining my experience with snezhnaya and if thats ruined I think I genuinely will have nothing to live for and if thats sad then just imagine how miserable life has been for that to be the only thing tethering me to this shit ass place
August 6, 2026 at 1:58 PM
Get these fucking meds out of my system they’re actively ruining my experience with snezhnaya and if thats ruined I think I genuinely will have nothing to live for and if thats sad then just imagine how miserable life has been for that to be the only thing tethering me to this shit ass place
And there goes my completely uninterrupted until now sleep schedule
August 4, 2026 at 2:32 AM
And there goes my completely uninterrupted until now sleep schedule
Started taking meds again and already I feel dreadful, its not enough that these past few weeks Ive barely been able to eat because just a single bite makes me immediately sick, now I gotta feel sick and more miserable 24/7 for the next 8+ weeks otherwise it wont work and if I miss a day I have to
August 3, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Started taking meds again and already I feel dreadful, its not enough that these past few weeks Ive barely been able to eat because just a single bite makes me immediately sick, now I gotta feel sick and more miserable 24/7 for the next 8+ weeks otherwise it wont work and if I miss a day I have to
I’m convinced no one else tries as hard as I do to be a good person only to completely fail at every fucking turn
January 6, 2026 at 1:22 AM
I’m convinced no one else tries as hard as I do to be a good person only to completely fail at every fucking turn
It’s almost laughable how it’s the exact same situation just 2 years later, I’m so fucking stupid and worthless nothing has gotten better and everything has gotten worse
January 5, 2026 at 8:23 AM
It’s almost laughable how it’s the exact same situation just 2 years later, I’m so fucking stupid and worthless nothing has gotten better and everything has gotten worse
I want to kill myself tonight I’m so done
January 5, 2026 at 2:44 AM
I want to kill myself tonight I’m so done
Starting to see the appeal of a rage room, all I could do was sleep too hours and now my heart is beating out of my chest again and I feel like throwing up. I fucking hate this I wish I could tear my flesh off
January 5, 2026 at 2:19 AM
Starting to see the appeal of a rage room, all I could do was sleep too hours and now my heart is beating out of my chest again and I feel like throwing up. I fucking hate this I wish I could tear my flesh off
I hate having this heart, I hate having this mind, I hate this body of mine, I’m never picked, I’m never wanted I’m never needed it’s always someone else similar to me, me in a different body or me in a different life that they like and never me and somehow I end up heartbroken and affected by this
January 4, 2026 at 11:32 PM
I hate having this heart, I hate having this mind, I hate this body of mine, I’m never picked, I’m never wanted I’m never needed it’s always someone else similar to me, me in a different body or me in a different life that they like and never me and somehow I end up heartbroken and affected by this
Back on bluesky so I can vent without worrying anyone
January 4, 2026 at 11:17 PM
Back on bluesky so I can vent without worrying anyone