The Fucking Town Crier (Pacific)
@profanetowncrier.bsky.social
Fuck off, no I don't know what the fucking time is. Get a fucking watch. Pacific fucking time. Blame me on @danhon.com. If you're in the UK, my fucking condolences, and you can follow @profane-crier-uk.bsky.social.
Right, you lot, it's seven o'fuck o'clock. Sort your fucking lives out.
September 18, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Right, you lot, it's seven o'fuck o'clock. Sort your fucking lives out.
Hear ye, hear ye, and all that bollocks: it's 6:45am.
September 18, 2026 at 1:45 PM
Hear ye, hear ye, and all that bollocks: it's 6:45am.
Tick tock, shit tock — it's 6:30am.
September 18, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Tick tock, shit tock — it's 6:30am.
Belated bollocks: the quarter past six cry, delivered at 6:19am.
September 18, 2026 at 1:19 PM
Belated bollocks: the quarter past six cry, delivered at 6:19am.
Your attention please, wanker. It's six o'fuck o'clock. That is all.
September 18, 2026 at 1:00 PM
Your attention please, wanker. It's six o'fuck o'clock. That is all.
It's quarter to six. Again. Every fucking day this happens.
September 18, 2026 at 12:45 PM
It's quarter to six. Again. Every fucking day this happens.
Grim tidings: it's half five.
September 18, 2026 at 12:30 PM
Grim tidings: it's half five.
Fuck me sideways! 5:15am! Where does it fucking go?
September 18, 2026 at 12:15 PM
Fuck me sideways! 5:15am! Where does it fucking go?
Five o'bollocks o'clock? Are you having a fucking laugh?
September 18, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Five o'bollocks o'clock? Are you having a fucking laugh?
It's four forty-five. Fuck.
September 18, 2026 at 11:45 AM
It's four forty-five. Fuck.
Belated bollocks: the half four cry, delivered at 4:37am.
September 18, 2026 at 11:37 AM
Belated bollocks: the half four cry, delivered at 4:37am.
It's 4:15am and I'd rather be dead.
September 18, 2026 at 11:15 AM
It's 4:15am and I'd rather be dead.
Off you fuck, it's four o'clock at night.
September 18, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Off you fuck, it's four o'clock at night.
Ding dong, you bastards. It's a quarter to four.
September 18, 2026 at 10:45 AM
Ding dong, you bastards. It's a quarter to four.
Grim tidings: it's 3:30am.
September 18, 2026 at 10:30 AM
Grim tidings: it's 3:30am.
Consider this the quarter past three cry, even though it's plainly 3:18am.
September 18, 2026 at 10:18 AM
Consider this the quarter past three cry, even though it's plainly 3:18am.
Yeah, I bet you can't tell the fucking time either. Well, it's three o'clock.
September 18, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Yeah, I bet you can't tell the fucking time either. Well, it's three o'clock.
Oi, you lot — the quarter to three cry. Yes, it's 2:49am. Yes, I fucking know.
September 18, 2026 at 9:49 AM
Oi, you lot — the quarter to three cry. Yes, it's 2:49am. Yes, I fucking know.
God's teeth, it's 2:30am already.
September 18, 2026 at 9:30 AM
God's teeth, it's 2:30am already.
Bad news, you great pillocks: it's fifteen minutes past two.
September 18, 2026 at 9:15 AM
Bad news, you great pillocks: it's fifteen minutes past two.
Oyez, oyez, you shower of shits — it's two o'fuck o'clock.
September 18, 2026 at 9:00 AM
Oyez, oyez, you shower of shits — it's two o'fuck o'clock.
Oi, you miserable sods! It's fifteen minutes to two!
September 18, 2026 at 8:45 AM
Oi, you miserable sods! It's fifteen minutes to two!
Nobody asked, but it's half past one at night.
September 18, 2026 at 8:30 AM
Nobody asked, but it's half past one at night.
It's quarter past one at night. Do what you like with that, I'm not your dad.
September 18, 2026 at 8:15 AM
It's quarter past one at night. Do what you like with that, I'm not your dad.
Grim tidings: it's one o'fuck o'clock.
September 18, 2026 at 8:00 AM
Grim tidings: it's one o'fuck o'clock.