Professor Monkey-for-a-Head
@profmonkeyhead.bsky.social
Timberwolves lifer, spectroscopist, semi-competent parent, perpetually visualizing preparations for my pickup basketball comeback
Now that Spiderman has dealt with the Nazi, maybe he can help out with our serial killer problem
August 23, 2026 at 2:32 AM
Now that Spiderman has dealt with the Nazi, maybe he can help out with our serial killer problem
My generation on social media is kind of annoying. Ooooh, gen-X is so bad-ass. We played outside a lot and drank treated municipal water from a hose. Meanwhile, our kids have it soooo easy growing up in an Octavia Butler novel.
July 31, 2026 at 3:25 AM
My generation on social media is kind of annoying. Ooooh, gen-X is so bad-ass. We played outside a lot and drank treated municipal water from a hose. Meanwhile, our kids have it soooo easy growing up in an Octavia Butler novel.
NMR job at U of MN hr.myu.umn.edu/jobs/ext/375...
July 30, 2026 at 5:25 PM
NMR job at U of MN hr.myu.umn.edu/jobs/ext/375...
Advertising instrumentation as not requiring an expert on staff leads to disgruntled customers when they have a week of downtime and a $5000 service call for a loose cable. It also alienates your most vocal proponents for purchasing new instruments.
FATHOM The world's first quantum-enabled EPR spectrometer. See the protein dynamics that other techniques can't — with less sample, in less time, and without an EPR expert on staff highqtechnologies.com/fathom #NMRchat 🧲
July 15, 2026 at 2:35 PM
Advertising instrumentation as not requiring an expert on staff leads to disgruntled customers when they have a week of downtime and a $5000 service call for a loose cable. It also alienates your most vocal proponents for purchasing new instruments.
Eddie Vedder? This game needs Sir Mix-a-Lot
July 7, 2026 at 1:36 AM
Eddie Vedder? This game needs Sir Mix-a-Lot
ChatGPT-ass contract
The deal, negotiated by Mark Bartelstein and Torrian Jones of @PrioritySports, contains a full mutual option that fully guarantees the $18M for Ellis while allowing both sides to have a conversation about a new deal next summer, but either party can opt-in (not opt-out).
Free agent guard Keon Ellis has agreed to a two-year, $18 million guaranteed deal with the Brooklyn Nets, sources tell ESPN.
July 1, 2026 at 3:42 AM
ChatGPT-ass contract
I feel badly for the NBA HQ guy who has to maintain the master pick swaps spreadsheet
June 25, 2026 at 5:38 PM
I feel badly for the NBA HQ guy who has to maintain the master pick swaps spreadsheet
The random dude walking down the street who saw the Wolves sticker on my bike helmet was fired up about the trade, so I am too. #Community
June 25, 2026 at 3:07 PM
The random dude walking down the street who saw the Wolves sticker on my bike helmet was fired up about the trade, so I am too. #Community
Lamelo will do for Beringer what Marbury did for Dean Garrett
June 25, 2026 at 2:25 PM
Lamelo will do for Beringer what Marbury did for Dean Garrett
I'm happy for Donte that my joke only had a 4-hour shelf life
I wonder what Divincenzo did in a past life. Being tethered to Julius Randle for his whole pro career is some pretty harsh karma
June 23, 2026 at 2:52 AM
I'm happy for Donte that my joke only had a 4-hour shelf life
What is the parentally appropriate way to tell your adult (but still teenage) kid that things would be a lot easier for both of us if he just got better at covering his tracks?
May 30, 2026 at 10:24 PM
What is the parentally appropriate way to tell your adult (but still teenage) kid that things would be a lot easier for both of us if he just got better at covering his tracks?
So tired of reading LLM-generated emails. Can one of these dork factories please optimize their AI for brevity?
May 27, 2026 at 6:24 PM
So tired of reading LLM-generated emails. Can one of these dork factories please optimize their AI for brevity?
Introduce yourself with ten bands you've seen live
The Jayhawks
Koo Koo (kangaroo)
Bob Mould
Bob Dylan
Psychadelic Furs
Public Enemy
Moon Hooch
The Flaming Lips
Digital Underground
Suicide Commandos
The Jayhawks
Koo Koo (kangaroo)
Bob Mould
Bob Dylan
Psychadelic Furs
Public Enemy
Moon Hooch
The Flaming Lips
Digital Underground
Suicide Commandos
Introduce yourself with ten bands you’ve seen live:
Smashing pumpkins
Pearl Jam
RHCP
Primus
Violent Femmes
Sonny Rollins
Preservation Hall
Weird Al
Maynard Ferguson
Victor Borge
Smashing pumpkins
Pearl Jam
RHCP
Primus
Violent Femmes
Sonny Rollins
Preservation Hall
Weird Al
Maynard Ferguson
Victor Borge
introduce yourself with ten bands you’ve seen live
tool
florence + the machine
steve vai
red hot chili peppers
garth brooks
zappa plays zappa
good charlotte
barenaked ladies
parker millsap
mdma
tool
florence + the machine
steve vai
red hot chili peppers
garth brooks
zappa plays zappa
good charlotte
barenaked ladies
parker millsap
mdma
May 21, 2026 at 11:50 AM
Introduce yourself with ten bands you've seen live
The Jayhawks
Koo Koo (kangaroo)
Bob Mould
Bob Dylan
Psychadelic Furs
Public Enemy
Moon Hooch
The Flaming Lips
Digital Underground
Suicide Commandos
The Jayhawks
Koo Koo (kangaroo)
Bob Mould
Bob Dylan
Psychadelic Furs
Public Enemy
Moon Hooch
The Flaming Lips
Digital Underground
Suicide Commandos
It's nice to see Caruso do this to another team
May 19, 2026 at 2:56 AM
It's nice to see Caruso do this to another team
Somebody's going to need to dust off Flip's long-2 playbook to beat the Spurs
May 19, 2026 at 1:34 AM
Somebody's going to need to dust off Flip's long-2 playbook to beat the Spurs
Shout-out to NAW for not wearing the blue shirt.
May 19, 2026 at 1:22 AM
Shout-out to NAW for not wearing the blue shirt.
Getting out-hustled for a rebound by Harrison Barnes would be an appropriate way to end the Julius Randle era
May 16, 2026 at 3:57 AM
Getting out-hustled for a rebound by Harrison Barnes would be an appropriate way to end the Julius Randle era
Wiretap #30
May 11, 2026 at 1:14 AM
Wiretap #30
Skeletor not bitchy enough
May 11, 2026 at 12:40 AM
Skeletor not bitchy enough
Don't fuck it up
May 11, 2026 at 12:24 AM
Don't fuck it up
Better make shots. Wolves not getting another call this game
May 9, 2026 at 4:13 AM
Better make shots. Wolves not getting another call this game
Phew...I needed that timeout
May 9, 2026 at 3:26 AM
Phew...I needed that timeout
Feeling pretty good right now about the years I've spent procrastinating putting my course on Canvas
May 8, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Feeling pretty good right now about the years I've spent procrastinating putting my course on Canvas
Wolves guards need to be more disciplined using screens. They're going too early and leaving too much space for the defenders to get through
May 5, 2026 at 3:35 AM
Wolves guards need to be more disciplined using screens. They're going too early and leaving too much space for the defenders to get through