Razor
@razorsgc.bsky.social
A Newcastle United realist. Make the occasional excellent post. Funnier than anyone gives me credit for. Gamer / wrestling fan / basic bitch nerd. I'll piss you off at some point because I have opinions.
Pinned
Razor
@razorsgc.bsky.social
· Aug 5
2026/27 predictions (1st half):
L'pool(h): L
Spurs(a): L
B'mouth(h): L
Leeds(a): D
Hull(h): W
Coventry(a): W
Villa(h): D
Palace(a): L
Everton(h): D
Fulham(a): L
Arsenal(h): L
Brighton(a): L
Man U(h): D
Scum(h): W
Ipswich(a): W
B'ford(a): L
City(h): L
Forest(h): W
Chels(a): L
Points: 19
#nufc
L'pool(h): L
Spurs(a): L
B'mouth(h): L
Leeds(a): D
Hull(h): W
Coventry(a): W
Villa(h): D
Palace(a): L
Everton(h): D
Fulham(a): L
Arsenal(h): L
Brighton(a): L
Man U(h): D
Scum(h): W
Ipswich(a): W
B'ford(a): L
City(h): L
Forest(h): W
Chels(a): L
Points: 19
#nufc
Two more assists for Barnes in a 2-1 win.
I look forward to more hot posts on Bluesky about how he offers nothing and should be dropped for one of our under-18s.
#nufc
I look forward to more hot posts on Bluesky about how he offers nothing and should be dropped for one of our under-18s.
#nufc
September 19, 2026 at 4:13 PM
Two more assists for Barnes in a 2-1 win.
I look forward to more hot posts on Bluesky about how he offers nothing and should be dropped for one of our under-18s.
#nufc
I look forward to more hot posts on Bluesky about how he offers nothing and should be dropped for one of our under-18s.
#nufc
Match Week 5:
Liverpool(h): Draw
Tottenham Hotspur(a): Win
Bournemouth(h): Draw
Leeds(a): Loss
Hull(h): Win
Predicted points: 4
Actual points: 8
Heading into the international break with a comfortably stronger start than I predicted, just as every one of us hoped. Need injured players back. #nufc
Liverpool(h): Draw
Tottenham Hotspur(a): Win
Bournemouth(h): Draw
Leeds(a): Loss
Hull(h): Win
Predicted points: 4
Actual points: 8
Heading into the international break with a comfortably stronger start than I predicted, just as every one of us hoped. Need injured players back. #nufc
2026/27 predictions (1st half):
L'pool(h): L
Spurs(a): L
B'mouth(h): L
Leeds(a): D
Hull(h): W
Coventry(a): W
Villa(h): D
Palace(a): L
Everton(h): D
Fulham(a): L
Arsenal(h): L
Brighton(a): L
Man U(h): D
Scum(h): W
Ipswich(a): W
B'ford(a): L
City(h): L
Forest(h): W
Chels(a): L
Points: 19
#nufc
L'pool(h): L
Spurs(a): L
B'mouth(h): L
Leeds(a): D
Hull(h): W
Coventry(a): W
Villa(h): D
Palace(a): L
Everton(h): D
Fulham(a): L
Arsenal(h): L
Brighton(a): L
Man U(h): D
Scum(h): W
Ipswich(a): W
B'ford(a): L
City(h): L
Forest(h): W
Chels(a): L
Points: 19
#nufc
September 19, 2026 at 4:11 PM
Match Week 5:
Liverpool(h): Draw
Tottenham Hotspur(a): Win
Bournemouth(h): Draw
Leeds(a): Loss
Hull(h): Win
Predicted points: 4
Actual points: 8
Heading into the international break with a comfortably stronger start than I predicted, just as every one of us hoped. Need injured players back. #nufc
Liverpool(h): Draw
Tottenham Hotspur(a): Win
Bournemouth(h): Draw
Leeds(a): Loss
Hull(h): Win
Predicted points: 4
Actual points: 8
Heading into the international break with a comfortably stronger start than I predicted, just as every one of us hoped. Need injured players back. #nufc
Hull
✅️ We won
✅️ Lightning quick start
✅️ Handed Hull their first league defeat
✅️ A reaction from Leeds
✅️ 2 wins & 2 draws from the first five
✅️ First home league win
❌️ Wissa seems incapable of finishing a chance
❌️ Jacob Murphy still the manager's golden boy
❌️ Tactically awful 2nd half
#nufc
✅️ We won
✅️ Lightning quick start
✅️ Handed Hull their first league defeat
✅️ A reaction from Leeds
✅️ 2 wins & 2 draws from the first five
✅️ First home league win
❌️ Wissa seems incapable of finishing a chance
❌️ Jacob Murphy still the manager's golden boy
❌️ Tactically awful 2nd half
#nufc
September 19, 2026 at 4:08 PM
Hull
✅️ We won
✅️ Lightning quick start
✅️ Handed Hull their first league defeat
✅️ A reaction from Leeds
✅️ 2 wins & 2 draws from the first five
✅️ First home league win
❌️ Wissa seems incapable of finishing a chance
❌️ Jacob Murphy still the manager's golden boy
❌️ Tactically awful 2nd half
#nufc
✅️ We won
✅️ Lightning quick start
✅️ Handed Hull their first league defeat
✅️ A reaction from Leeds
✅️ 2 wins & 2 draws from the first five
✅️ First home league win
❌️ Wissa seems incapable of finishing a chance
❌️ Jacob Murphy still the manager's golden boy
❌️ Tactically awful 2nd half
#nufc
Holy fucking shit let's just pretend that second half didn't happen and wasn't a tactical disasterclass.
2 wins, 2 draws and 1 defeat from our first five matches.
Would have taken that comfortably before the start of the season.
Nothing else matters. Going to ignore the actual football. #nufc
2 wins, 2 draws and 1 defeat from our first five matches.
Would have taken that comfortably before the start of the season.
Nothing else matters. Going to ignore the actual football. #nufc
September 19, 2026 at 3:59 PM
Holy fucking shit let's just pretend that second half didn't happen and wasn't a tactical disasterclass.
2 wins, 2 draws and 1 defeat from our first five matches.
Would have taken that comfortably before the start of the season.
Nothing else matters. Going to ignore the actual football. #nufc
2 wins, 2 draws and 1 defeat from our first five matches.
Would have taken that comfortably before the start of the season.
Nothing else matters. Going to ignore the actual football. #nufc
Six minutes added time.
Yeah we're not fucking winning are we.
Yeah we're not fucking winning are we.
September 19, 2026 at 3:52 PM
Six minutes added time.
Yeah we're not fucking winning are we.
Yeah we're not fucking winning are we.
Yoane Wissa. A £55M striker who can't shoot.
September 19, 2026 at 3:51 PM
Yoane Wissa. A £55M striker who can't shoot.
Could and should have been 3-0 up at the end of the first half.
But no, this is Newcastle United.
We had to let them get back in it at 2-1 and now we're doing our best to absolutely shit the bed. #nufc
But no, this is Newcastle United.
We had to let them get back in it at 2-1 and now we're doing our best to absolutely shit the bed. #nufc
September 19, 2026 at 3:44 PM
Could and should have been 3-0 up at the end of the first half.
But no, this is Newcastle United.
We had to let them get back in it at 2-1 and now we're doing our best to absolutely shit the bed. #nufc
But no, this is Newcastle United.
We had to let them get back in it at 2-1 and now we're doing our best to absolutely shit the bed. #nufc
Every time we go defensive with a substitution, we concede.
Same happened every time under Howe. Bring Schär on. Bring Lascelles on. Turn a win or draw into a defeat.
Bamba there on the bench but he went for Schär. Reshuffles about four players into a different position.
Concede. #nufc
Same happened every time under Howe. Bring Schär on. Bring Lascelles on. Turn a win or draw into a defeat.
Bamba there on the bench but he went for Schär. Reshuffles about four players into a different position.
Concede. #nufc
September 19, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Every time we go defensive with a substitution, we concede.
Same happened every time under Howe. Bring Schär on. Bring Lascelles on. Turn a win or draw into a defeat.
Bamba there on the bench but he went for Schär. Reshuffles about four players into a different position.
Concede. #nufc
Same happened every time under Howe. Bring Schär on. Bring Lascelles on. Turn a win or draw into a defeat.
Bamba there on the bench but he went for Schär. Reshuffles about four players into a different position.
Concede. #nufc
Brighton 2-0 up at home to Arsenal but I left Kostoulas on the bench in FPL.
Cat Kid Retekmacska: The Pensive Feline
ALT: Cat Kid Retekmacska: The Pensive Feline
static.klipy.com
September 19, 2026 at 2:54 PM
Brighton 2-0 up at home to Arsenal but I left Kostoulas on the bench in FPL.
Yoane Missa at it again I see.
Congrats to Hall and Willock though.
Sounds like we've played well.
Congrats to Hall and Willock though.
Sounds like we've played well.
September 19, 2026 at 2:48 PM
Yoane Missa at it again I see.
Congrats to Hall and Willock though.
Sounds like we've played well.
Congrats to Hall and Willock though.
Sounds like we've played well.
"You going down, Jay?"
September 19, 2026 at 1:16 PM
"You going down, Jay?"
Sorry, but I'd love a manager who picked players based on merit.
There's no fucking way either Murphy nor Botman should be starting this match after how they've played so far this season, when Schär and Toure are sat on the bench. #nufc
There's no fucking way either Murphy nor Botman should be starting this match after how they've played so far this season, when Schär and Toure are sat on the bench. #nufc
September 19, 2026 at 12:59 PM
Sorry, but I'd love a manager who picked players based on merit.
There's no fucking way either Murphy nor Botman should be starting this match after how they've played so far this season, when Schär and Toure are sat on the bench. #nufc
There's no fucking way either Murphy nor Botman should be starting this match after how they've played so far this season, when Schär and Toure are sat on the bench. #nufc
Spurs score... ruled out for offside 😂
September 19, 2026 at 12:55 PM
Spurs score... ruled out for offside 😂
September 19, 2026 at 12:48 PM
No Tino today either?
Jesus Christ.
Great player, made of fucking Twiglets.
Jesus Christ.
Great player, made of fucking Twiglets.
September 19, 2026 at 12:45 PM
No Tino today either?
Jesus Christ.
Great player, made of fucking Twiglets.
Jesus Christ.
Great player, made of fucking Twiglets.
Turned down £15M for Jacob Murphy because he's supposedly so important in the dressing room, yet he's quietly been ditched from the leadership group.
New leadership group confirmed: BDB Captain, J7 Vice-Captain with Thiaw, Wissa and Miley joining the leadership group #NUFC
September 19, 2026 at 12:03 PM
Turned down £15M for Jacob Murphy because he's supposedly so important in the dressing room, yet he's quietly been ditched from the leadership group.
I had never watched any of this AI chatbot for obvious reasons, but HOLY SHIT it's so much WORSE than I thought it could be.
It's just an LLM with a fucking Zoom filter.
Not only could it never be an actress but why on God's green Earth are media folk "interviewing" it like it isn't just CrapGPT!?
It's just an LLM with a fucking Zoom filter.
Not only could it never be an actress but why on God's green Earth are media folk "interviewing" it like it isn't just CrapGPT!?
🤖 AI actress 'Tilly Norwood' glitches 😵💫 and starts speaking CHINESE during interview with Piers Morgan w/ Tom Conti
September 19, 2026 at 11:08 AM
I had never watched any of this AI chatbot for obvious reasons, but HOLY SHIT it's so much WORSE than I thought it could be.
It's just an LLM with a fucking Zoom filter.
Not only could it never be an actress but why on God's green Earth are media folk "interviewing" it like it isn't just CrapGPT!?
It's just an LLM with a fucking Zoom filter.
Not only could it never be an actress but why on God's green Earth are media folk "interviewing" it like it isn't just CrapGPT!?
Rather ironically, I'd tell the fuckers to get in the sea. And now there'll be no one there to save them.
There is no middle ground with the kind of people who attack the RNLI.
We don’t need to ‘listen’ to them. We need to tell them where to go.
We don’t need to ‘listen’ to them. We need to tell them where to go.
September 19, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Rather ironically, I'd tell the fuckers to get in the sea. And now there'll be no one there to save them.
Jacob Murphy starting on the right-wing for Newcastle United in three consecutive matches in the year of our lord 2026:
September 19, 2026 at 1:31 AM
Jacob Murphy starting on the right-wing for Newcastle United in three consecutive matches in the year of our lord 2026:
Anyone in the South East should grab tickets for this. Michael is hilarious and I think my two tickets cost a total of about £40.
My tour has sold out so far but I'm not going to lie, I appear to be as popular in Canterbury as an AI data centre so if you come to that one, we'll probably be able to all have a cup of tea and a chat after.
thegulbenkian.co.uk/events/micha...
thegulbenkian.co.uk/events/micha...
Michael Spicer - Hope all's well
Michael Spicer, the online sensation who brought you the award-winning viral hit The Room Next Door, brings another hilarious and brilliantly entertaining
thegulbenkian.co.uk
September 18, 2026 at 12:05 PM
Anyone in the South East should grab tickets for this. Michael is hilarious and I think my two tickets cost a total of about £40.
Bring back that kit. #nufc
On this day in 2005 ⏮️ Blackburn 0-3 #Newcastle
Alan Shearer scored his 195th Toon goal to put the Toon ahead and edge him closer to Jackie Milburn's record.
Owen also scored his first Magpies' goal and Charles N'Zogbia rounded off the win following Steven Taylor's red card.
#NUFC #NewcastleUnited
Alan Shearer scored his 195th Toon goal to put the Toon ahead and edge him closer to Jackie Milburn's record.
Owen also scored his first Magpies' goal and Charles N'Zogbia rounded off the win following Steven Taylor's red card.
#NUFC #NewcastleUnited
September 18, 2026 at 11:48 AM
Bring back that kit. #nufc
Surely the most stupid "sport" in existence?
Just standing still whilst someone hits your head as hard as they possibly can.
A brain injury production line.
Just standing still whilst someone hits your head as hard as they possibly can.
A brain injury production line.
September 18, 2026 at 11:37 AM
Surely the most stupid "sport" in existence?
Just standing still whilst someone hits your head as hard as they possibly can.
A brain injury production line.
Just standing still whilst someone hits your head as hard as they possibly can.
A brain injury production line.
Jaissle's team talk to our defence ahead of the Hull match:
September 18, 2026 at 11:01 AM
Jaissle's team talk to our defence ahead of the Hull match:
At what point do we blame the training schedule / medical team for the fact we have half a playing squad unavailable through injury... #nufc
September 18, 2026 at 10:53 AM
At what point do we blame the training schedule / medical team for the fact we have half a playing squad unavailable through injury... #nufc