Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
I’m kind to humans and animals and I am a raging knucklehead. I occasionally joke around. I changed my avatar to the very distinguished Panda Man.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
Pinned
Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
· Nov 11
Six to Eight Black Men David Sedaris : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
Six to Eight Black Men by David Sedaris
archive.org
Christmas is coming. Here is a fun story for you. I hope you’ll enjoy it. archive.org/details/SixT...
I rewatched a “NOVA” episode asking the question, “Can Dogs Talk?” I believe that the answer is a qualified “yes.” Some dogs can. Others are not that intelligent. Anecdotally, our late dog, Ruby, seemed to understand full sentences. For instance, “Go get the octopus toy from the bedroom.” She did it
September 18, 2026 at 5:44 AM
I rewatched a “NOVA” episode asking the question, “Can Dogs Talk?” I believe that the answer is a qualified “yes.” Some dogs can. Others are not that intelligent. Anecdotally, our late dog, Ruby, seemed to understand full sentences. For instance, “Go get the octopus toy from the bedroom.” She did it
My wife thinks I should go on a game show to make us some money. I don’t think it’s necessarily a good idea because many people find me unpalatable I might win because, you know, trivia, but here’s how I see it going:
September 14, 2026 at 5:42 AM
My wife thinks I should go on a game show to make us some money. I don’t think it’s necessarily a good idea because many people find me unpalatable I might win because, you know, trivia, but here’s how I see it going:
It’s nearly midnight in my time zone. I’m remembering where I was 25 years ago. Some of you reading this might not have even been born yet. If you remember where you were then, please share if you wish. I’ll tell you my story as briefly as possible.
September 11, 2026 at 4:51 AM
It’s nearly midnight in my time zone. I’m remembering where I was 25 years ago. Some of you reading this might not have even been born yet. If you remember where you were then, please share if you wish. I’ll tell you my story as briefly as possible.
I think it would be swell if we had phone booths in public places again. Not the kind from decades ago, but just little soundproof booths with charging stations and chairs so that other people don’t have to hear someone else’s conversations at full volume on speaker.
September 9, 2026 at 2:22 PM
I think it would be swell if we had phone booths in public places again. Not the kind from decades ago, but just little soundproof booths with charging stations and chairs so that other people don’t have to hear someone else’s conversations at full volume on speaker.
I finally got my shit together and now, I forgot where I put it. How are you doing?
September 8, 2026 at 6:15 PM
I finally got my shit together and now, I forgot where I put it. How are you doing?
Last night my wife decided to make a nice baked fish for dinner. It was delicious. I asked her what kind of fish it was and she went on and on about its origins and how it can swim in salt and fresh water, etc. I said, “I asked what time it is and you told me how to build a watch.”
September 7, 2026 at 12:59 PM
Last night my wife decided to make a nice baked fish for dinner. It was delicious. I asked her what kind of fish it was and she went on and on about its origins and how it can swim in salt and fresh water, etc. I said, “I asked what time it is and you told me how to build a watch.”
My wife asked me earlier about yams vs sweet potatoes. I said I thought they were the same thing, but I looked it up and lo, and behold, they are different. All this time I never thought to differentiate them. I guess I learned something new today. I think I’ve earned a nap.
September 5, 2026 at 6:42 PM
My wife asked me earlier about yams vs sweet potatoes. I said I thought they were the same thing, but I looked it up and lo, and behold, they are different. All this time I never thought to differentiate them. I guess I learned something new today. I think I’ve earned a nap.
Everyone should believe something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
September 4, 2026 at 4:09 PM
Everyone should believe something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
In my nearly 50 years of “Star Wars” fandom, I’ve noticed the Stormtrooper armor doesn’t do a damned thing. Why can’t it reflect or deflect blaster bolts? I’ve also never seen a toilet in any “Star Wars” movie or television series. “We’ll have to wait on the jump to hyperspace. I gotta take a shit.”
September 3, 2026 at 5:43 PM
In my nearly 50 years of “Star Wars” fandom, I’ve noticed the Stormtrooper armor doesn’t do a damned thing. Why can’t it reflect or deflect blaster bolts? I’ve also never seen a toilet in any “Star Wars” movie or television series. “We’ll have to wait on the jump to hyperspace. I gotta take a shit.”
Sunday, I had to take down our bird feeder because it started attracting at least one rat. I’m thinking that if I mount it on a surface that rodents can’t climb, like a brick wall, maybe that could mitigate the problem. Anyone have any experience with this issue? Previously, the feeder was on a tree
September 1, 2026 at 8:48 PM
Sunday, I had to take down our bird feeder because it started attracting at least one rat. I’m thinking that if I mount it on a surface that rodents can’t climb, like a brick wall, maybe that could mitigate the problem. Anyone have any experience with this issue? Previously, the feeder was on a tree
Chicken purse? I guess this is a thing now?
September 1, 2026 at 10:23 AM
Chicken purse? I guess this is a thing now?
Happy September, all you glorious individuals! Here’s an appropriate song to start your Tuesday.
youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk?...
youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk?...
Earth, Wind & Fire - September (Official HD Video)
YouTube video by EarthWindandFireVEVO
youtu.be
September 1, 2026 at 9:24 AM
Happy September, all you glorious individuals! Here’s an appropriate song to start your Tuesday.
youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk?...
youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk?...
Can anyone explain the appeal of ordering a giant cookie with pizza? If I want something savory, I’ll get savory. If I want sweet, I’ll get sweet, but that’s pretty rare.
August 31, 2026 at 9:59 PM
Can anyone explain the appeal of ordering a giant cookie with pizza? If I want something savory, I’ll get savory. If I want sweet, I’ll get sweet, but that’s pretty rare.
Man, those fuckers who came up with “Bluey” must be printing money right now. Australian money. Let that part sink in. Their money is translucent and it’s printed on plastic!
August 29, 2026 at 5:25 PM
Man, those fuckers who came up with “Bluey” must be printing money right now. Australian money. Let that part sink in. Their money is translucent and it’s printed on plastic!
Beast Mode: Unavailable.
Sounds about right.
Sounds about right.
August 29, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Beast Mode: Unavailable.
Sounds about right.
Sounds about right.
@sophianyx.bsky.social What do you consider to be the best love song? You like to ask the questions but you never answer them. I like “Always on my Mind” by Willie Nelson.
August 2, 2026 at 10:09 AM
@sophianyx.bsky.social What do you consider to be the best love song? You like to ask the questions but you never answer them. I like “Always on my Mind” by Willie Nelson.
Everyone gather round. I have a singular message and it applies to every single one of you.
You are OK. You are loved. Live in peace and prosperity.
You are OK. You are loved. Live in peace and prosperity.
August 2, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Everyone gather round. I have a singular message and it applies to every single one of you.
You are OK. You are loved. Live in peace and prosperity.
You are OK. You are loved. Live in peace and prosperity.
I’ve long said that I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like dogs. I very much distrust people who dogs don’t like.
August 2, 2026 at 12:59 AM
I’ve long said that I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like dogs. I very much distrust people who dogs don’t like.
Tony Romo has an estimated net worth of $80 million. I find it hard to believe he couldn’t afford an Uber. I don’t have anywhere near that amount of money, but I’ve asked bartenders to call me a taxi. They always obliged. Happy to do it.
August 1, 2026 at 10:52 PM
Tony Romo has an estimated net worth of $80 million. I find it hard to believe he couldn’t afford an Uber. I don’t have anywhere near that amount of money, but I’ve asked bartenders to call me a taxi. They always obliged. Happy to do it.
If you could create a Venn diagram of Lenny Kravitz and Yogi Berra it would be “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
August 1, 2026 at 10:31 AM
If you could create a Venn diagram of Lenny Kravitz and Yogi Berra it would be “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
My nephew’s birthday is coming up and I thought I might send him some treats (cookies and such). Why is the company selling the treats making it so onerous to buy something? Are they allergic to money? I would say, “You want to give me money? Cool!” Not, “Now fill out all these forms!” Madness.
August 1, 2026 at 12:16 AM
My nephew’s birthday is coming up and I thought I might send him some treats (cookies and such). Why is the company selling the treats making it so onerous to buy something? Are they allergic to money? I would say, “You want to give me money? Cool!” Not, “Now fill out all these forms!” Madness.
I want to say something about drag queens. Don’t worry. This is positive. My wife grew up without a mother. Her dad was an attorney that defended a lot of people on 1A issues including homosexuals having the right to do whatever. Some of his clients, gay men who were drag queens, acted as a
July 30, 2026 at 9:16 PM
I want to say something about drag queens. Don’t worry. This is positive. My wife grew up without a mother. Her dad was an attorney that defended a lot of people on 1A issues including homosexuals having the right to do whatever. Some of his clients, gay men who were drag queens, acted as a
Yesterday, I went to jury duty. I dressed business casual, and I didn’t get picked. I asked myself, “Did I shave my balls for this?”
Also, I’ll add that it’s bullshit when they charge you for parking when you’re required to come to the courthouse for jury duty. It was only $3 but still…
Also, I’ll add that it’s bullshit when they charge you for parking when you’re required to come to the courthouse for jury duty. It was only $3 but still…
July 28, 2026 at 11:51 PM
Yesterday, I went to jury duty. I dressed business casual, and I didn’t get picked. I asked myself, “Did I shave my balls for this?”
Also, I’ll add that it’s bullshit when they charge you for parking when you’re required to come to the courthouse for jury duty. It was only $3 but still…
Also, I’ll add that it’s bullshit when they charge you for parking when you’re required to come to the courthouse for jury duty. It was only $3 but still…
Let’s make a list of things Donald Trump has never done: (feel free to add)
Never learned to drive a vehicle above a
golf cart.
Never bought groceries in a store.
Never cooked with any of his wives.
Never washed a dish.
Never played with his children or grandchildren.
There’s more. Pile on.
Never learned to drive a vehicle above a
golf cart.
Never bought groceries in a store.
Never cooked with any of his wives.
Never washed a dish.
Never played with his children or grandchildren.
There’s more. Pile on.
July 28, 2026 at 10:28 PM
Let’s make a list of things Donald Trump has never done: (feel free to add)
Never learned to drive a vehicle above a
golf cart.
Never bought groceries in a store.
Never cooked with any of his wives.
Never washed a dish.
Never played with his children or grandchildren.
There’s more. Pile on.
Never learned to drive a vehicle above a
golf cart.
Never bought groceries in a store.
Never cooked with any of his wives.
Never washed a dish.
Never played with his children or grandchildren.
There’s more. Pile on.
Random thought: are you better with names or faces?
I seem to be better with faces.
I seem to be better with faces.
July 27, 2026 at 4:54 AM
Random thought: are you better with names or faces?
I seem to be better with faces.
I seem to be better with faces.