Jessie
@slumstechnician.bsky.social
( FF7 parody RP account by @veloxaraptor )
Goes silent, stares, and falls right out of her chair.
October 30, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Goes silent, stares, and falls right out of her chair.
[Hiccups]
Let's... let's not worry about that.
Let's... let's not worry about that.
How did you even get it inside?
Yeah! Did you see the size of the pizza I made???
October 30, 2026 at 11:38 PM
[Hiccups]
Let's... let's not worry about that.
Let's... let's not worry about that.
Yeah! Did you see the size of the pizza I made???
( Sighs and an eyeroll but there's a brief smile. )
Having fun tonight?
Having fun tonight?
[Giggles and drapes herself over him]
Oh Cloud.... so serious...
Oh Cloud.... so serious...
October 30, 2026 at 11:34 PM
Yeah! Did you see the size of the pizza I made???
[Giggles and drapes herself over him]
Oh Cloud.... so serious...
Oh Cloud.... so serious...
... right, brought that one on myself.
[Puts on a grumpy face and tries to imitate Cloud now.]
Is that supposed to be Biggs?
Is that supposed to be Biggs?
October 30, 2026 at 11:27 PM
[Giggles and drapes herself over him]
Oh Cloud.... so serious...
Oh Cloud.... so serious...
[wistful sigh]
Yeah~
Yeah~
it's like he's here.
[Adopts her best Biggs voice]
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
October 30, 2026 at 11:24 PM
[wistful sigh]
Yeah~
Yeah~
[Puts on a grumpy face and tries to imitate Cloud now.]
Is that supposed to be Biggs?
Is that supposed to be Biggs?
Is that supposed to be Biggs?
[Adopts her best Biggs voice]
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
October 30, 2026 at 11:24 PM
[Puts on a grumpy face and tries to imitate Cloud now.]
Is that supposed to be Biggs?
Is that supposed to be Biggs?
[Snickers and then falls into her chair giggling.]
It's meeeee~
It's meeeee~
[ whips her head around ]
BIGGS?
BIGGS?
[Adopts her best Biggs voice]
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
October 30, 2026 at 11:23 PM
[Snickers and then falls into her chair giggling.]
It's meeeee~
It's meeeee~
[Adopts her best Biggs voice]
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
October 30, 2026 at 11:20 PM
[Adopts her best Biggs voice]
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
Man I need a hot shower! I Stink!
Totally not staggering and swaying from drinking too much...
October 30, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Totally not staggering and swaying from drinking too much...
[Smiles pleasantly.]
Whatever you say~
Whatever you say~
Excuses.
Hello?
That took me months of saving!
That took me months of saving!
October 30, 2026 at 9:57 PM
[Smiles pleasantly.]
Whatever you say~
Whatever you say~
Hello?
That took me months of saving!
That took me months of saving!
Again, and you all scream poverty but afforded the gil to make that monstrosity?
Right.
Right.
Excuuuuuuse you?
I'll have you know this cost a pretty gil to make.
Maybe you won't get any.
I'll have you know this cost a pretty gil to make.
Maybe you won't get any.
October 30, 2026 at 9:54 PM
Hello?
That took me months of saving!
That took me months of saving!
Excuuuuuuse you?
I'll have you know this cost a pretty gil to make.
Maybe you won't get any.
I'll have you know this cost a pretty gil to make.
Maybe you won't get any.
[Don't ask how she got it into the bar. just.... don't ask.]
Pizza anyone???
Pizza anyone???
October 30, 2026 at 9:48 PM
Excuuuuuuse you?
I'll have you know this cost a pretty gil to make.
Maybe you won't get any.
I'll have you know this cost a pretty gil to make.
Maybe you won't get any.
[Don't ask how she got it into the bar. just.... don't ask.]
Pizza anyone???
Pizza anyone???
October 30, 2026 at 9:29 PM
[Don't ask how she got it into the bar. just.... don't ask.]
Pizza anyone???
Pizza anyone???
Because the menu.... said... 10'....
....WHY?
Eve I made a massive pizza....
October 30, 2026 at 8:35 PM
Because the menu.... said... 10'....
Eve I made a massive pizza....
the pizza?
do you. need help?
do you. need help?
HOW THE HELL DO I GET THIS OUT OF THE KITCHEN????
October 30, 2026 at 8:33 PM
Eve I made a massive pizza....
HOW THE HELL DO I GET THIS OUT OF THE KITCHEN????
October 30, 2026 at 8:32 PM
HOW THE HELL DO I GET THIS OUT OF THE KITCHEN????
[Loud noises can be heard from the kitchen. Jessie curses once or twice. There's a few small explosions....
Popping her head out of the kitchen door, she grins and waves at everyone.]
Just ignore the noises everyone! Things are going great~
Popping her head out of the kitchen door, she grins and waves at everyone.]
Just ignore the noises everyone! Things are going great~
October 30, 2026 at 7:55 PM
[Loud noises can be heard from the kitchen. Jessie curses once or twice. There's a few small explosions....
Popping her head out of the kitchen door, she grins and waves at everyone.]
Just ignore the noises everyone! Things are going great~
Popping her head out of the kitchen door, she grins and waves at everyone.]
Just ignore the noises everyone! Things are going great~
October 30, 2026 at 7:49 PM
FUUUUU—
[Clutches her head]
I MESSED UP
[Clutches her head]
I MESSED UP
Am I reading this menu right? A 10' pizza?
10' meaning 10 FEET in diameter?
Because if so, I might have to get that.
#7thHelloween
10' meaning 10 FEET in diameter?
Because if so, I might have to get that.
#7thHelloween
Of course the 7th Hell has a special menu for the night... (though you may order from a regular menu if you are simply Too Scared.)
October 30, 2026 at 7:43 PM
FUUUUU—
[Clutches her head]
I MESSED UP
[Clutches her head]
I MESSED UP
"Oh I know. And don't worry. I will~"
"Oh, i fully meant you could have one if you wanted. Not that you had to bring me one."
He opens the beer anyway, taking a drink.
He opens the beer anyway, taking a drink.
Flits over to the fridge, grabs the beer and then puts it in Biggs' hand.
"Won't be too long~"
"Won't be too long~"
September 25, 2026 at 9:43 PM
"Oh I know. And don't worry. I will~"
"Mollymauk..." She rolls it over on her tongue a few times, repeating his name until it feels natural. "Hi Molly, I'm Jessie."
"Yes, I am rather new. The name is Mollymauk, Molly to my friends."
He smiles, leaning one side against the bar so he can face her comfortably.
He smiles, leaning one side against the bar so he can face her comfortably.
She perches on a barstool and sets her elbow on the countertop, chin resting in her hand.
"Soooo~ You're new. I would remember a handsome face like that."
"Soooo~ You're new. I would remember a handsome face like that."
September 23, 2026 at 2:16 AM
"Mollymauk..." She rolls it over on her tongue a few times, repeating his name until it feels natural. "Hi Molly, I'm Jessie."
She perches on a barstool and sets her elbow on the countertop, chin resting in her hand.
"Soooo~ You're new. I would remember a handsome face like that."
"Soooo~ You're new. I would remember a handsome face like that."
He loosens the tie on his coin purse and takes out enough to cover both drinks.
"Cosmo Canyon, a good choice."
"Cosmo Canyon, a good choice."
"Oh my favorite words! Right this way, right this way~!"
She's nearly vibrating with excitement as she guides him to the bar.
"Two cosmo canyons please~!!"
She's nearly vibrating with excitement as she guides him to the bar.
"Two cosmo canyons please~!!"
September 23, 2026 at 1:40 AM
She perches on a barstool and sets her elbow on the countertop, chin resting in her hand.
"Soooo~ You're new. I would remember a handsome face like that."
"Soooo~ You're new. I would remember a handsome face like that."
"Oh my favorite words! Right this way, right this way~!"
She's nearly vibrating with excitement as she guides him to the bar.
"Two cosmo canyons please~!!"
She's nearly vibrating with excitement as she guides him to the bar.
"Two cosmo canyons please~!!"
That makes him smile as he stows the swords away, tucking them under his coat.
"I'm happy to buy you a drink. Anything you'd like."
"I'm happy to buy you a drink. Anything you'd like."
She takes a look at him from top to toe and blinks a few times. Whatever costume he had going on was really good. And he looked really good. With a bright smile she skipped forward and looped her arm into his.
"Buy me a drink and we can consider yourself forgiven!"
"Buy me a drink and we can consider yourself forgiven!"
September 23, 2026 at 1:17 AM
"Oh my favorite words! Right this way, right this way~!"
She's nearly vibrating with excitement as she guides him to the bar.
"Two cosmo canyons please~!!"
She's nearly vibrating with excitement as she guides him to the bar.
"Two cosmo canyons please~!!"
She takes a look at him from top to toe and blinks a few times. Whatever costume he had going on was really good. And he looked really good. With a bright smile she skipped forward and looped her arm into his.
"Buy me a drink and we can consider yourself forgiven!"
"Buy me a drink and we can consider yourself forgiven!"
Easily snagging all three swords out of the air and pulling them back to himself. "Sorry, love. Wasn't paying attention."
"Hey!" Hands on her hips, scowling. And then she sees what he's juggling. "Hey?!"
September 23, 2026 at 1:13 AM
She takes a look at him from top to toe and blinks a few times. Whatever costume he had going on was really good. And he looked really good. With a bright smile she skipped forward and looped her arm into his.
"Buy me a drink and we can consider yourself forgiven!"
"Buy me a drink and we can consider yourself forgiven!"