Modern Alcumist
@streetlampkid.bsky.social
Slurpin' that vacation juice
Pinned
It's what it's.
Indeed job suggestions are getting a bit aggressive. I didn't even put this relevant experience on my resume.
October 5, 2026 at 10:48 PM
Indeed job suggestions are getting a bit aggressive. I didn't even put this relevant experience on my resume.
I'm looking to stir slosh with the honeys
October 2, 2026 at 3:38 PM
I'm looking to stir slosh with the honeys
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
Heavy is the crotch that bears this bush
September 17, 2026 at 4:06 PM
Heavy is the crotch that bears this bush
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
there is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid
September 28, 2026 at 6:47 PM
there is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid
Sexting is cool.
But eating so much stir fry that neither of you can move enough to reach the remote and tell netflix that you are indeed still watching Big Timber so you get to speculate with each other on whether or not they're going to sell enough fence panels to keep the mill open is better.
But eating so much stir fry that neither of you can move enough to reach the remote and tell netflix that you are indeed still watching Big Timber so you get to speculate with each other on whether or not they're going to sell enough fence panels to keep the mill open is better.
September 28, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Sexting is cool.
But eating so much stir fry that neither of you can move enough to reach the remote and tell netflix that you are indeed still watching Big Timber so you get to speculate with each other on whether or not they're going to sell enough fence panels to keep the mill open is better.
But eating so much stir fry that neither of you can move enough to reach the remote and tell netflix that you are indeed still watching Big Timber so you get to speculate with each other on whether or not they're going to sell enough fence panels to keep the mill open is better.
Depression in your 20s:
- Writing bad poetry over an ex
- Crying in your car on the way home
- Reinventing your sense of style (it goes poorly)
Depression in your 30s:
- Not caring that your groceries were open when you got them cause you know everyone's time comes eventually
- Writing bad poetry over an ex
- Crying in your car on the way home
- Reinventing your sense of style (it goes poorly)
Depression in your 30s:
- Not caring that your groceries were open when you got them cause you know everyone's time comes eventually
September 25, 2026 at 2:13 PM
Depression in your 20s:
- Writing bad poetry over an ex
- Crying in your car on the way home
- Reinventing your sense of style (it goes poorly)
Depression in your 30s:
- Not caring that your groceries were open when you got them cause you know everyone's time comes eventually
- Writing bad poetry over an ex
- Crying in your car on the way home
- Reinventing your sense of style (it goes poorly)
Depression in your 30s:
- Not caring that your groceries were open when you got them cause you know everyone's time comes eventually
Everyone says they're an open book until you ask them if they stand to wipe
September 22, 2026 at 2:40 PM
Everyone says they're an open book until you ask them if they stand to wipe
I should call her
September 18, 2026 at 12:50 AM
I should call her
Heavy is the crotch that bears this bush
September 17, 2026 at 4:06 PM
Heavy is the crotch that bears this bush
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
a cat’s favorite fall flavor is pumpkin pspspspice
September 17, 2026 at 12:00 AM
a cat’s favorite fall flavor is pumpkin pspspspice
Eating a fiber bar before bed to supercharge my midnight farts and blast these nightmares back into the astral plane
September 14, 2026 at 3:17 PM
Eating a fiber bar before bed to supercharge my midnight farts and blast these nightmares back into the astral plane
Why is it called dry humping if I'm always so clammy?
September 13, 2026 at 5:12 AM
Why is it called dry humping if I'm always so clammy?
Jorkin' and horkin'
September 12, 2026 at 3:36 AM
Jorkin' and horkin'
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
I missed my graphing calculator's 20th birthday and I feel guilty about it 😓
September 8, 2026 at 1:11 AM
I missed my graphing calculator's 20th birthday and I feel guilty about it 😓
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
The spectre of autumn looms heavy in the air
August 8, 2023 at 2:18 PM
The spectre of autumn looms heavy in the air
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
They gotta put the sawdust back in fast food so it doesn't cost $15 for me to hate myself
March 7, 2024 at 10:43 PM
They gotta put the sawdust back in fast food so it doesn't cost $15 for me to hate myself
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
The End of Evangelion
Episode 25'
Air
Love is Destructive
Episode 25'
Air
Love is Destructive
September 1, 2026 at 3:00 AM
The End of Evangelion
Episode 25'
Air
Love is Destructive
Episode 25'
Air
Love is Destructive
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
All my boys hear the howl in the trees calling to them
August 26, 2026 at 12:31 PM
All my boys hear the howl in the trees calling to them
Reposted by Modern Alcumist
Thinkin' about Army of Darkness
June 2, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Thinkin' about Army of Darkness
Waking up as a mid-30s man after one beer the night before
August 22, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Waking up as a mid-30s man after one beer the night before
I just got a feature pop-up for my smartphone's keyboard.
No one in tech understands how people use their devices or what they want from them.
No one in tech understands how people use their devices or what they want from them.
August 20, 2026 at 2:52 PM
I just got a feature pop-up for my smartphone's keyboard.
No one in tech understands how people use their devices or what they want from them.
No one in tech understands how people use their devices or what they want from them.
I'm a crunchy feller
August 19, 2026 at 2:55 PM
I'm a crunchy feller