"Surrounded by assholes" isn’t a DSM-5 diagnosis—yet. But when your prefrontal cortex is screaming and the world’s jerk-to-nice ratio feels off, SSRIs like my Lexapro step in to save the day!Depression? Anxiety? The unrelenting idiocy of others? Doesn’t matter—they just work!

#SSRI’s are worth their weight in gold - literally! A symbol of modern medicines power and value or something else? #RFKJr #MentalHealthMatters #BigPharma

State of Wisconsin takes steps to close the gender shooter gap ensuring equal notoriety for equal mayhem.

Better Business bureau investigates aggressive marketing strategies at certain Funeral Homes

A terrorist wouldn’t like the idea of dying alone. You passed the test.

Better Business bureau investigates aggressive marketing strategies at certain Funeral Homes

DRONE SIGHTS ARE GOVERNMENT RUN. THEY ARE FOR OUR PROTECTION AGAINST NUCLEAR MATERIALS BEING DEPLOYED ON US SOIL.

THEY UTILIZE DRONES WITH SPECIAL SENSORS TO DETECT RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS IN THE DARK.

@realDonaldTrump @elonmusk

DRONES ARE SCANNING FOR RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL TO PROTECT US FROM POTENTIAL NUCLEAR THREATS. COULD THIS BE A SIGN OF SOMETHING NEFARIOUS WITH RUSSIA? 🛸

#UAP #UFOs #ALIENTECH #NUCLEARPROTECTION #SKYWATCH #EXTRATERRESTRIAL #UAPDISCLOSURE

Woodpeckers alliance fights for softer wood and decreased working hours.

Local governments respond by saying “nobody wants to work anymore”.

U.S. Airdrops Rubble Into Gaza
theonion.com/u-s-airdrops...

Man who routinely fails “I’m not a robot” captchas has mental breakdown after fifth failed test that leaves him hospitalized. Reportedly blames migrant workers and weather patterns.

Hospital staff attempts factory reset.

Resident cat makes its security rounds while still finding time to routinely terrorize houseplants and shit in box.

CEOs across the nation are enraged that America’s latest school shooting has distracted board members from celebrating record-breaking profits this year. Priorities, people! 💼💰 #CorporateCulture #ProfitFirst #BoardroomDrama #Priorities

AREA DADS IN NEW JERSEY BRAVE THE COLD, SCANNING THE SKIES FOR UFOs. WEAKER MEN PEER FROM WINDOWS, DEHYDRATED AND UNSURE IF IT’S ALIENS OR THE UKRAINE-RUSSIA CONFLICT. FRIGHTENED BY AMBIGUITY, THEY RETREAT TO WATCH LARGE GLOWING RECTANGLES FOR THE EVENING #UFO #UAP #Ukraine #Russia #DadForce #spacep

AREA FATHERS FEARLESSLY GAZE INTO THE NIGHT SKY, NATURALLY DEHYDRATED AND UNBOTHERED BY THE COLD, WHILE LESSER MEN PEER THROUGH WINDOWS IN SLIPPERS AND SELF-DOUBT. #UFO #UAP #theonion

THE MORE INTELLIGENT SENTIENT BEINGS ARE, THE DEEPER THEY EMPATHIZE WITH ALL LIFE FORMS!

ALIENS MAY BE PROTECTING HUMANITY FROM HUMANS🛸
#UAP #UFOs #ALIENPROTECTION #NEWJERSEY #JERSEYSTRONG #NJUFO #EXTRATERRESTRIAL #NEWJERSEYNEWS #SKYWATCH #RUSSIA #UKRAINE #PEACE #SUPPORTUKRAINE #EXTRATERRESTRIAL

DRONES ARE SCANNING FOR RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL TO PROTECT US FROM POTENTIAL NUCLEAR THREATS. COULD THIS BE A SIGN OF SOMETHING NEFARIOUS WITH RUSSIA? 🛸

#UAP #UFOs #ALIENTECH #NUCLEARPROTECTION #SKYWATCH #EXTRATERRESTRIAL #UAPDISCLOSURE