The Beaverton
@thebeaverton.com
North America’s Trusted Source Of News
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Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebeaverton
Merch: https://the-beaverton.myshopify.com/
New study shows link between cars and traffic
New study shows link between cars and traffic
OXFORD, UK – A new study from the International School of Roads has reportedly uncovered the root cause of traffic on roads and major highways worldwide: four-wheeled vehicles known as “cars.”
www.thebeaverton.com
October 16, 2026 at 10:32 PM
New study shows link between cars and traffic
7 most shocking revelations from Chrystia Freeland’s Unreliable Boyfriend
7 most shocking revelations from Chrystia Freeland’s Unreliable Boyfriend
TORONTO – With the publication of Unreliable Boyfriend, Chrystia Freeland’s account of her years in former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s cabinet, the former Finance Minister has revealed a side to t...
thebeaverton.com
October 16, 2026 at 3:18 PM
7 most shocking revelations from Chrystia Freeland’s Unreliable Boyfriend
Report: video of Quebecois kid singing still delightful on 78th viewing (podcast)
Report: video of Quebecois kid singing still delightful on 78th viewing
“Like any great work of art, there are details you only pick up on after repeated viewings.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk about Trump’s betrayal of Ukraine,...
thebeaverton.com
October 16, 2026 at 1:37 PM
Report: video of Quebecois kid singing still delightful on 78th viewing (podcast)
Ambassador Hoekstra warns Canadians not to meddle in midterms but also to accept blame for costing Republicans the midterms
Ambassador Hoekstra warns Canadians not to meddle in midterms but also to accept blame for costing Republicans the midterms
OTTAWA - U.S. Ambassador to Canada Pete Hoekstra says American officials are warning Canadians not to interfere in the upcoming U.S. midterm elections, while also ordering them to prepare to accept th...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 15, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Ambassador Hoekstra warns Canadians not to meddle in midterms but also to accept blame for costing Republicans the midterms
Reposted by The Beaverton
Carney calls on world to invest in one of Canada’s 6 companies
Carney calls on world to invest in one of Canada’s 6 companies
OTTAWA - Prime Minister Mark Carney is continuing to beat the drum on international investment, calling on business leaders and countries from around the world to invest in one of Canada’s six compani...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 14, 2026 at 6:40 PM
Carney calls on world to invest in one of Canada’s 6 companies
We're live streaming executions now? Ok. With @clareblackwood.bsky.social and @nileseguin.bsky.social
October 15, 2026 at 2:20 PM
We're live streaming executions now? Ok. With @clareblackwood.bsky.social and @nileseguin.bsky.social
Carney calls on world to invest in one of Canada’s 6 companies
Carney calls on world to invest in one of Canada’s 6 companies
OTTAWA - Prime Minister Mark Carney is continuing to beat the drum on international investment, calling on business leaders and countries from around the world to invest in one of Canada’s six compani...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 14, 2026 at 6:40 PM
Carney calls on world to invest in one of Canada’s 6 companies
New pod! open.spotify.com/episode/43eV...
-Trump betrays Ukraine
-We're live streaming executions now?
-Carney weighs in on the Alberta Separation vote
+More
-Trump betrays Ukraine
-We're live streaming executions now?
-Carney weighs in on the Alberta Separation vote
+More
To Russia, With Love And A Plea For Diesel
The Beaverton Weekly Report · Episode
open.spotify.com
October 14, 2026 at 2:39 PM
New pod! open.spotify.com/episode/43eV...
-Trump betrays Ukraine
-We're live streaming executions now?
-Carney weighs in on the Alberta Separation vote
+More
-Trump betrays Ukraine
-We're live streaming executions now?
-Carney weighs in on the Alberta Separation vote
+More
Elon Musk, two racist uncles, left to do all Alberta Separatist posting after Russian bot farm goes offline
Elon Musk, two racist uncles, left to do all Alberta Separatist posting after Russian bot farm goes offline
CALGARY - In the wake of Ukraine's successful drone strikes on Russia's Yandex data centres, which have allegedly caused bot activity to plummet across the web, the entirety of pro-Alberta Separation ...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 13, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Elon Musk, two racist uncles, left to do all Alberta Separatist posting after Russian bot farm goes offline
Canadians thankful for harvest or St. Lawrence voyage or something
Canadians thankful for harvest or St. Lawrence voyage or something
OTTAWA - Canadians nationwide are gathering with friends and family to give thanks for the harvest or a historical St. Lawrence voyage or whatever.
www.thebeaverton.com
October 12, 2026 at 2:23 PM
Canadians thankful for harvest or St. Lawrence voyage or something
Reposted by The Beaverton
Parti Québécois finally finds minority it likes
Parti Québécois finally finds minority it likes
QUEBEC CITY - Quebec Premier-designate Paul St-Pierre Plamondon says he’ll be updating his list of problem minorities after networks declared The Parti Québécois will form government with the support ...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 6, 2026 at 1:19 PM
Parti Québécois finally finds minority it likes
Trump demands all Americans chip in $20 to send to Russia
Trump demands all Americans chip in $20 to send to Russia
CLARKSVILLE, TN - During a midterm campaign rally, U.S. President Donald Trump thrilled his supporters by ordering them, as well as every other American, to personally mail $20 to Russian President Vl...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 11, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Trump demands all Americans chip in $20 to send to Russia
Panicked husband realizes turkey pan has been soaking since last Thanksgiving www.thebeaverton.com/2015/10/pani...
Panicked husband realizes turkey pan has been soaking since last Thanksgiving - The Beaverton
BRANDON, MA – As his family prepared for this weekend’s thanksgiving festivities local man Stephen Island realized that he had left the pan they use to cook the turkey every year sitting in a pool of ...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 11, 2026 at 5:42 PM
Panicked husband realizes turkey pan has been soaking since last Thanksgiving www.thebeaverton.com/2015/10/pani...
Pragmatic supervillain sets sights on conquering small Midwestern township
Pragmatic supervillain sets sights on conquering small Midwestern township
"Susan from down the street brought me welcome cookies at my Victory Is Nigh speech last night, so I think I’m off to a great start.”
www.thebeaverton.com
October 10, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Pragmatic supervillain sets sights on conquering small Midwestern township
Doug Ford vows to protect Ontario's vulnerable crony industry
Doug Ford vows to protect Ontario's vulnerable crony industry
QUEEN'S PARK - Ontario Premier Doug Ford has promised that despite the ongoing economic uncertainty in the province, which he constantly exacerbates by responding to US President Donald Trump’s barbs,...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 10, 2026 at 3:52 PM
Doug Ford vows to protect Ontario's vulnerable crony industry
Reposted by The Beaverton
Pete Hegseth carefully weighing whether livestreamed execution will be sponsored by FanDuel or Nashville Fried Chicken Doritos
Pete Hegseth carefully weighing whether livestreamed execution will be sponsored by FanDuel or Nashville Fried Chicken Doritos
WASHINGTON D.C. - Addressing the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth carefully laid out a variety of options for which brand would sponsor his upcoming livestreamed public execution.
www.thebeaverton.com
October 9, 2026 at 9:12 PM
Pete Hegseth carefully weighing whether livestreamed execution will be sponsored by FanDuel or Nashville Fried Chicken Doritos
Charming 1980s playground has body count higher than Dahmer
Charming 1980s playground has body count higher than Dahmer
EDMONTON — Local historians say a quaint suburban playground from the early 1980s is responsible for more deaths than infamous American serial killer and cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer.
www.thebeaverton.com
October 9, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Charming 1980s playground has body count higher than Dahmer
Furious Trump rails against Canadian Anne Carson winning Nobel Prize in Literature
Furious Trump rails against Canadian Anne Carson winning Nobel Prize in Literature
WASHINGTON D.C. - Following the announcement of Canadian poet Anne Carson as this year's Nobel Prize in Literature recipient, President Donald Trump unleashed an online tirade insisting he was more de...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 8, 2026 at 6:57 PM
Furious Trump rails against Canadian Anne Carson winning Nobel Prize in Literature
Desperate Brad Bradford adds another Brad to his name
Desperate Brad Bradford adds another Brad to his name
TORONTO – Election day in Toronto is fast approaching, and polls continue to show Mayor Olivia Chow with a lead over challenger Brad Bradford. So, in a desperate effort to court the bland, middle-aged...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 7, 2026 at 11:38 PM
Desperate Brad Bradford adds another Brad to his name
Don't worry Anglophones in Quebec. Everything is going to be just fine. With @torontothepolitics.bsky.social and @ianmmacintyre.bsky.social
October 7, 2026 at 8:59 PM
Don't worry Anglophones in Quebec. Everything is going to be just fine. With @torontothepolitics.bsky.social and @ianmmacintyre.bsky.social
Polymarket offering bets on next produce that gives everyone diarrhea
Polymarket offering bets on next produce that gives everyone diarrhea
NEW YORK - With a recall issued for Taylor Farms lettuce in the wake of a cyclospora outbreak, several new betting lines have opened up in the online predictions market Polymarket as to which line of ...
www.thebeaverton.com
October 7, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Polymarket offering bets on next produce that gives everyone diarrhea
New pod with special guest @torontothepolitics.bsky.social open.spotify.com/episode/5OhU...
-The OG Separatists Are Back In The Game
-Alberta Separatists caught committing some light treason
-Toronto mayoral election heats up
+More
-The OG Separatists Are Back In The Game
-Alberta Separatists caught committing some light treason
-Toronto mayoral election heats up
+More
The OG Separatists Are Back In The Game
The Beaverton Weekly Report · Episode
open.spotify.com
October 7, 2026 at 2:23 PM
New pod with special guest @torontothepolitics.bsky.social open.spotify.com/episode/5OhU...
-The OG Separatists Are Back In The Game
-Alberta Separatists caught committing some light treason
-Toronto mayoral election heats up
+More
-The OG Separatists Are Back In The Game
-Alberta Separatists caught committing some light treason
-Toronto mayoral election heats up
+More
Halloween is upon us, and what better way to celebrate than a spooky séance to see what Canada's 10th Prime Minister and his Irish Terriers have gotten up to in the afterlife?
This and more essentials on The Beaverton Merch Store!
This and more essentials on The Beaverton Merch Store!
William Lyon Mackenzie King Memorial Séance Candle
Get the gang together, join hands and light a candle to see what Canada's 10th Prime Minister and his Irish Terriers have gotten up to in the afterlife. • Soy wax • Cotton wick • 3.76″ × 3.13″ (95 × 7...
the-beaverton.myshopify.com
October 6, 2026 at 4:22 PM
Halloween is upon us, and what better way to celebrate than a spooky séance to see what Canada's 10th Prime Minister and his Irish Terriers have gotten up to in the afterlife?
This and more essentials on The Beaverton Merch Store!
This and more essentials on The Beaverton Merch Store!