userac99
@userac99.bsky.social
Just passing time passing time.
-Insomnia, USA
-Insomnia, USA
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When you called your girlfriend fat in a text instead of phat.🤦♂️
October 5, 2026 at 6:21 AM
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When you called your girlfriend fat in a text instead of phat.🤦♂️
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When Jesus is watching. - He got fired from his job down at the dump & now he's really down in the nothings.
October 5, 2026 at 6:19 AM
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When Jesus is watching. - He got fired from his job down at the dump & now he's really down in the nothings.
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When you don't want a knuckle sammich.👊😠
October 5, 2026 at 6:16 AM
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When you don't want a knuckle sammich.👊😠
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When your upstairs-downstairs neighbor falls up then down then sideways down the stairs.
October 5, 2026 at 6:15 AM
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When your upstairs-downstairs neighbor falls up then down then sideways down the stairs.
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When in Rome, I mean France.
October 5, 2026 at 6:10 AM
#WhenToDoSomethingNice When in Rome, I mean France.
#WHATINEEDTOIMPROVE IS THIS CAPS LOCK BUTTON>
October 4, 2026 at 6:09 AM
#WHATINEEDTOIMPROVE IS THIS CAPS LOCK BUTTON>
#WhatINeedToImprove is my improv. No one knows who Yakov Smirnoff or Alf is any more. - Good grief.
October 4, 2026 at 6:08 AM
#WhatINeedToImprove is my improv. No one knows who Yakov Smirnoff or Alf is any more. - Good grief.
#WhatINeedToImprove is not having so many needs.
October 4, 2026 at 6:06 AM
#WhatINeedToImprove is not having so many needs.
#WhatINeedToImprove The economy. - I just promised my first born to Satan for a full tank of gas.🤦♂️
October 4, 2026 at 6:05 AM
#WhatINeedToImprove The economy. - I just promised my first born to Satan for a full tank of gas.🤦♂️
#WhatINeedToImprove is my improving, it never seems to get any better.
October 4, 2026 at 6:02 AM
#WhatINeedToImprove is my improving, it never seems to get any better.
#WhatINeedToImprove Okay, I better put on a pot of coffee, cause this is going to be a long night.
October 4, 2026 at 6:02 AM
#WhatINeedToImprove Okay, I better put on a pot of coffee, cause this is going to be a long night.
#TheBestWayToEatCarrots is not naturally.
*starts coughing up dirt & bits of carrot he plucked straight out of the ground*
*starts coughing up dirt & bits of carrot he plucked straight out of the ground*
October 3, 2026 at 1:10 PM
#TheBestWayToEatCarrots is not naturally.
*starts coughing up dirt & bits of carrot he plucked straight out of the ground*
*starts coughing up dirt & bits of carrot he plucked straight out of the ground*
#ImOnlyFrugalWhen I'm fruging, which is never.
*starts fruging away*
*starts fruging away*
October 3, 2026 at 1:06 PM
#ImOnlyFrugalWhen I'm fruging, which is never.
*starts fruging away*
*starts fruging away*
#TheAnimalsInMyYardAre not fond of milkshakes. - Either that or all the boys are scaring them away.
October 2, 2026 at 5:21 AM
#TheAnimalsInMyYardAre not fond of milkshakes. - Either that or all the boys are scaring them away.
#NotBeingPerfectIs easy when you're really flawed & screwed up.🥲👍
October 1, 2026 at 3:20 PM
#NotBeingPerfectIs easy when you're really flawed & screwed up.🥲👍
#NotBeingPerfectIs the bee's elbows.
October 1, 2026 at 3:17 PM
#NotBeingPerfectIs the bee's elbows.
#NotBeingPerfectIs the new dying at 27 for musicians.
October 1, 2026 at 3:15 PM
#NotBeingPerfectIs the new dying at 27 for musicians.
Coffee brewing when I wake up #SoundsLikeMusicToMyEars & smells like heaven to my nose.
October 1, 2026 at 6:06 AM
Coffee brewing when I wake up #SoundsLikeMusicToMyEars & smells like heaven to my nose.
Being blind, deaf and dumb #SoundsLikeMusicToMyEars these days.
October 1, 2026 at 6:06 AM
Being blind, deaf and dumb #SoundsLikeMusicToMyEars these days.
The copyrights infringement lawsuit never #SoundsLikeMusicToMyEars
October 1, 2026 at 6:05 AM
The copyrights infringement lawsuit never #SoundsLikeMusicToMyEars
#MyWiseWordsAre falling on deaf ears. - I SAID MY WISE WORDS ARE... oh, never mind.
September 29, 2026 at 8:13 AM
#MyWiseWordsAre falling on deaf ears. - I SAID MY WISE WORDS ARE... oh, never mind.
#TheBestWayToDrinkBeer is after a hard day's night tending to your octopus's garden when you've developed blisters on your fingers.
September 28, 2026 at 11:48 AM
#TheBestWayToDrinkBeer is after a hard day's night tending to your octopus's garden when you've developed blisters on your fingers.
#TheBestWayToDrinkBeer is during, before & after the game.
September 28, 2026 at 11:43 AM
#TheBestWayToDrinkBeer is during, before & after the game.
#TheBestWayToDrinkBeer is ice cold. - Don't even look at it in the label when you guzzle it down.
September 28, 2026 at 11:39 AM
#TheBestWayToDrinkBeer is ice cold. - Don't even look at it in the label when you guzzle it down.