Ygrene
@ygrene.bsky.social
Pinned
Ygrene
@ygrene.bsky.social
· Feb 12
one time I accidentally brought a pizza to a gunfight instead of a gun and we ate the pizza and resolved differences until the last slice of pizza was up for grabs and a gunfight broke out
me: (shouting out my front window) please no one murder me today
my enemies: (huddled together) fuck!! he even asked nicely
my enemies: (huddled together) fuck!! he even asked nicely
September 16, 2026 at 1:15 PM
me: (shouting out my front window) please no one murder me today
my enemies: (huddled together) fuck!! he even asked nicely
my enemies: (huddled together) fuck!! he even asked nicely
old age comes at you pretty fast when you find yourself shopping the weekly grocery ads and getting excited about the ibuprofen promos
September 16, 2026 at 12:56 PM
old age comes at you pretty fast when you find yourself shopping the weekly grocery ads and getting excited about the ibuprofen promos
Reposted by Ygrene
look at it this way. it's way worse if your boss starts flashing red cause that means he's about to transform
September 16, 2026 at 12:48 PM
look at it this way. it's way worse if your boss starts flashing red cause that means he's about to transform
taking environmental damage at the office, -2 hp floating off your body with most coworker interactions
September 16, 2026 at 12:36 PM
taking environmental damage at the office, -2 hp floating off your body with most coworker interactions
was going to wash the bedding today but
September 16, 2026 at 12:31 PM
was going to wash the bedding today but
recently heard that they are to make us get one hundred emails an hour
September 16, 2026 at 12:14 PM
recently heard that they are to make us get one hundred emails an hour
Reposted by Ygrene
The difference between a catacomb and a basement is skulls. Catacomb without skulls? Thats a basement. Skulls in your basement? Thats a catacomb. Tired of having to keep saying this
September 15, 2026 at 9:03 PM
The difference between a catacomb and a basement is skulls. Catacomb without skulls? Thats a basement. Skulls in your basement? Thats a catacomb. Tired of having to keep saying this
Reposted by Ygrene
I respect my haters and share their concerns
September 15, 2026 at 3:00 AM
I respect my haters and share their concerns
Reposted by Ygrene
I take back all the nice things I’ve said.
September 15, 2026 at 12:25 AM
I take back all the nice things I’ve said.
you just know that, when Batman desires a game of strategy and probability, he plays batgammon
September 15, 2026 at 12:24 AM
you just know that, when Batman desires a game of strategy and probability, he plays batgammon
Reposted by Ygrene
So sad that my cold air balloon business never really got off the ground.
September 14, 2026 at 4:48 PM
So sad that my cold air balloon business never really got off the ground.
one of the cooler aspects of being a doomsday prepper is being able to go down into your bunker and admire your baked beans collection at any time
September 14, 2026 at 3:30 PM
one of the cooler aspects of being a doomsday prepper is being able to go down into your bunker and admire your baked beans collection at any time
the real reason why the sirens were always trying to make the ships crash on the rocks is because they owned a boat bodyshop right around the corner
September 14, 2026 at 1:21 PM
the real reason why the sirens were always trying to make the ships crash on the rocks is because they owned a boat bodyshop right around the corner
Chemo Day #105
Ralph Lauren oxford
Frye James oxford
Ralph Lauren oxford
Frye James oxford
September 14, 2026 at 12:41 PM
Chemo Day #105
Ralph Lauren oxford
Frye James oxford
Ralph Lauren oxford
Frye James oxford
Reposted by Ygrene
*hiring someone to murder me*
I’ll pay for this if it’s the last thing I do
I’ll pay for this if it’s the last thing I do
September 14, 2026 at 12:41 AM
*hiring someone to murder me*
I’ll pay for this if it’s the last thing I do
I’ll pay for this if it’s the last thing I do
if i were her, i would have started a side hustle along the lines of “Medusa’s Statues & Mannequins Shop” or similar
September 14, 2026 at 1:12 AM
if i were her, i would have started a side hustle along the lines of “Medusa’s Statues & Mannequins Shop” or similar
Reposted by Ygrene
i saved thousands on my car insurance by returning to the sea
September 13, 2026 at 11:14 PM
i saved thousands on my car insurance by returning to the sea
i don’t think it’s a coincidence that some comfort foods are very similar, for example: macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese, cheddar cheese. all have a similar orangish color in them
September 13, 2026 at 9:38 PM
i don’t think it’s a coincidence that some comfort foods are very similar, for example: macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese, cheddar cheese. all have a similar orangish color in them
news reporter on tv: they’re saying it’s the largest carmel corn heist in history
wife: *looks directly at me*
wife: *looks directly at me*
September 13, 2026 at 4:08 PM
news reporter on tv: they’re saying it’s the largest carmel corn heist in history
wife: *looks directly at me*
wife: *looks directly at me*
[i come crashing through the ceiling tiles] it’s time to post
September 13, 2026 at 3:57 PM
[i come crashing through the ceiling tiles] it’s time to post
Reposted by Ygrene
be the haunted mansion on a cliff’s edge you want to see in the world
September 11, 2026 at 7:18 PM
be the haunted mansion on a cliff’s edge you want to see in the world
Reposted by Ygrene
dr handing me a brochure that just says shut the fuck up
September 11, 2026 at 1:00 AM
dr handing me a brochure that just says shut the fuck up
i was practicing my swear words in the backyard and guess who just happened to be right behind me? both of my grandmas
September 12, 2026 at 9:17 PM
i was practicing my swear words in the backyard and guess who just happened to be right behind me? both of my grandmas
Reposted by Ygrene
Hey wait a minute: maybe the quicksand we grew up worrying about turned out to be our phones
September 12, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Hey wait a minute: maybe the quicksand we grew up worrying about turned out to be our phones
Reposted by Ygrene
Well, I finally gave in and bought a feral mountain lion for my home office. Honestly I'm not sure what all the fuss is about, it's actually been a huge inconvenience
September 12, 2026 at 5:15 PM
Well, I finally gave in and bought a feral mountain lion for my home office. Honestly I'm not sure what all the fuss is about, it's actually been a huge inconvenience