Reposted by De Long and Winding Road
There is no McTry. There is only:
October 4, 2026 at 10:41 PM
There is no McTry. There is only:
Me: Respect Mother Earth.
Friend: this isn’t Mother Earth, this is linoleum.
Friend: this isn’t Mother Earth, this is linoleum.
September 10, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Me: Respect Mother Earth.
Friend: this isn’t Mother Earth, this is linoleum.
Friend: this isn’t Mother Earth, this is linoleum.
I’m on my antidepressants and I’m ready to fuck shit up.
June 11, 2026 at 10:52 PM
I’m on my antidepressants and I’m ready to fuck shit up.
Reposted by De Long and Winding Road
Someone called Fleetwood Mac there’s been a landslide
May 27, 2026 at 4:52 PM
Someone called Fleetwood Mac there’s been a landslide
Funny skit idea: someone trying to open up a jar of pickles, in different inappropriate settings.
Example opening a jar of pickles in the car along a winding highway
Or in the balcony seating of a theater.
Example opening a jar of pickles in the car along a winding highway
Or in the balcony seating of a theater.
May 27, 2026 at 4:55 PM
Funny skit idea: someone trying to open up a jar of pickles, in different inappropriate settings.
Example opening a jar of pickles in the car along a winding highway
Or in the balcony seating of a theater.
Example opening a jar of pickles in the car along a winding highway
Or in the balcony seating of a theater.
Someone called Fleetwood Mac there’s been a landslide
May 27, 2026 at 4:52 PM
Someone called Fleetwood Mac there’s been a landslide
Reposted by De Long and Winding Road
October 30, 2025 at 2:50 AM
One of the most bizarre yet dope gifts I used to give to people: shower heads.
Like really really nice expensive shower heads.
People were confused, but no one was ever disappointed.
When you are poor a nice shower is the ultimate luxury.
Spoil your friends within your price range
Like really really nice expensive shower heads.
People were confused, but no one was ever disappointed.
When you are poor a nice shower is the ultimate luxury.
Spoil your friends within your price range
May 11, 2026 at 5:30 PM
One of the most bizarre yet dope gifts I used to give to people: shower heads.
Like really really nice expensive shower heads.
People were confused, but no one was ever disappointed.
When you are poor a nice shower is the ultimate luxury.
Spoil your friends within your price range
Like really really nice expensive shower heads.
People were confused, but no one was ever disappointed.
When you are poor a nice shower is the ultimate luxury.
Spoil your friends within your price range
Reposted by De Long and Winding Road
reposting with alt text
May 1, 2026 at 1:17 PM
reposting with alt text
Me, straddling his lap: I'm kinda nervous. like idk ive never done this before
The therapist: yeah, so there's other chairs in this room
The therapist: yeah, so there's other chairs in this room
April 26, 2026 at 6:32 PM
Me, straddling his lap: I'm kinda nervous. like idk ive never done this before
The therapist: yeah, so there's other chairs in this room
The therapist: yeah, so there's other chairs in this room
In physics, weight is defined as “force due to gravity”
By this logic.
The force is strong with me.
By this logic.
The force is strong with me.
April 15, 2026 at 3:28 AM
In physics, weight is defined as “force due to gravity”
By this logic.
The force is strong with me.
By this logic.
The force is strong with me.
The way I French is revolutionary
April 13, 2026 at 4:35 PM
The way I French is revolutionary
The worst use of free will.
Volunteering to take your friends to the airport.
Volunteering to take your friends to the airport.
March 17, 2026 at 4:48 PM
The worst use of free will.
Volunteering to take your friends to the airport.
Volunteering to take your friends to the airport.
Friend: “when did you start cussing?”
Me: “I never said a single fucking cuss word in my life”
Me: “I never said a single fucking cuss word in my life”
March 6, 2026 at 6:45 PM
Friend: “when did you start cussing?”
Me: “I never said a single fucking cuss word in my life”
Me: “I never said a single fucking cuss word in my life”
If all Russians had to eat was frozen meals from Trader Joe’s. Would it then be called Trader Joseph Stalin’s?
March 6, 2026 at 6:39 PM
If all Russians had to eat was frozen meals from Trader Joe’s. Would it then be called Trader Joseph Stalin’s?
*trigger warning* suicide/self harm.
If you are gunna use open AI to write your suicide note…I have a feeling you probably should.
All jokes as aside: dial 988 or text for suicide hotline.
If you are gunna use open AI to write your suicide note…I have a feeling you probably should.
All jokes as aside: dial 988 or text for suicide hotline.
February 20, 2026 at 12:59 AM
*trigger warning* suicide/self harm.
If you are gunna use open AI to write your suicide note…I have a feeling you probably should.
All jokes as aside: dial 988 or text for suicide hotline.
If you are gunna use open AI to write your suicide note…I have a feeling you probably should.
All jokes as aside: dial 988 or text for suicide hotline.
When the farts so guttural it’s reverberated through the pipes
February 15, 2026 at 4:16 AM
When the farts so guttural it’s reverberated through the pipes
Girl you must be fine China,
Because I know I shouldn’t use you and when I do I will break you. It will be an accident but inevitable
Because I know I shouldn’t use you and when I do I will break you. It will be an accident but inevitable
February 14, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Girl you must be fine China,
Because I know I shouldn’t use you and when I do I will break you. It will be an accident but inevitable
Because I know I shouldn’t use you and when I do I will break you. It will be an accident but inevitable
It’s in my own personal experience where I actually don’t care about yours.
February 13, 2026 at 6:25 PM
It’s in my own personal experience where I actually don’t care about yours.
If the world end that would be huge bummer because I still have $7 on a chipotle gift card
January 27, 2026 at 5:58 PM
If the world end that would be huge bummer because I still have $7 on a chipotle gift card
Today my feminine rage manifested in the form of punching a soda machine in a chipotle.
January 23, 2026 at 7:52 AM
Today my feminine rage manifested in the form of punching a soda machine in a chipotle.
Reposted by De Long and Winding Road
December 29, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Sometimes it’s nice being sick on the longest night of the year. It’s like it didn’t even happen
December 23, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Sometimes it’s nice being sick on the longest night of the year. It’s like it didn’t even happen
Reposted by De Long and Winding Road
If I could time-travel I would not go back in time to see dinosaurs or kill Hitler, I would go back in time to watch Heated Rivalry episode 5 at this bar
December 21, 2025 at 5:13 AM
If I could time-travel I would not go back in time to see dinosaurs or kill Hitler, I would go back in time to watch Heated Rivalry episode 5 at this bar