Andy Anderson
@andybeau.bsky.social
Librarian | dog-lover | choccy milk connoisseur | staunchly anti-Trump | nerd (and a whole host of other things)
If the restaurant is fancy enough, should I not say bill and instead ask for the...
...William? 🦆 #OhhhThisIsNice #AndysPuns
...William? 🦆 #OhhhThisIsNice #AndysPuns
June 30, 2026 at 2:24 PM
If the restaurant is fancy enough, should I not say bill and instead ask for the...
...William? 🦆 #OhhhThisIsNice #AndysPuns
...William? 🦆 #OhhhThisIsNice #AndysPuns
I was going to tell a funny railroad joke, but...
...I lost my train of thought. 🚂#ChooChoo #AndysPuns
...I lost my train of thought. 🚂#ChooChoo #AndysPuns
May 20, 2026 at 3:59 PM
I was going to tell a funny railroad joke, but...
...I lost my train of thought. 🚂#ChooChoo #AndysPuns
...I lost my train of thought. 🚂#ChooChoo #AndysPuns
I told Erin that I'm taking her to a fancy new restaurant in town. She said, "Awesome! Do you have reservations?" I said, "No, I'm actually...
...really excited." 🍽️ #unchisteparados #AndysPuns
...really excited." 🍽️ #unchisteparados #AndysPuns
May 19, 2026 at 6:02 PM
I told Erin that I'm taking her to a fancy new restaurant in town. She said, "Awesome! Do you have reservations?" I said, "No, I'm actually...
...really excited." 🍽️ #unchisteparados #AndysPuns
...really excited." 🍽️ #unchisteparados #AndysPuns
What's the difference between a cross-eyed owl and a constipated cowboy? One can hoot, but can't hit, and the other can shoot, but can't...
...shit. 🦉 #HootinandShootin #AndysPuns
...shit. 🦉 #HootinandShootin #AndysPuns
May 5, 2026 at 3:47 PM
What's the difference between a cross-eyed owl and a constipated cowboy? One can hoot, but can't hit, and the other can shoot, but can't...
...shit. 🦉 #HootinandShootin #AndysPuns
...shit. 🦉 #HootinandShootin #AndysPuns
Most zoo dentists refuse to treat a grizzly bear without first using a strong anesthesia. I guess there's safety in...
...numb bears. 🐻 #IllBeADentist #AndysPuns
...numb bears. 🐻 #IllBeADentist #AndysPuns
April 21, 2026 at 2:08 PM
Most zoo dentists refuse to treat a grizzly bear without first using a strong anesthesia. I guess there's safety in...
...numb bears. 🐻 #IllBeADentist #AndysPuns
...numb bears. 🐻 #IllBeADentist #AndysPuns
Not many people know, but I studied puns while attending Eastern Michigan. Might go for my PhD. Then I can be a professor of...
...Sighcology. 😄 #LeSigh #AndysPuns
...Sighcology. 😄 #LeSigh #AndysPuns
April 14, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Not many people know, but I studied puns while attending Eastern Michigan. Might go for my PhD. Then I can be a professor of...
...Sighcology. 😄 #LeSigh #AndysPuns
...Sighcology. 😄 #LeSigh #AndysPuns
What happens when Rick Moranis puts on his glasses? He can...
..suddenly see more! 🩸 #FeedMe #AndysPuns
..suddenly see more! 🩸 #FeedMe #AndysPuns
April 6, 2026 at 1:49 PM
What happens when Rick Moranis puts on his glasses? He can...
..suddenly see more! 🩸 #FeedMe #AndysPuns
..suddenly see more! 🩸 #FeedMe #AndysPuns
I'm considering building an ATM that only dispenses coins. Sounds a little crazy, but it...
...makes cents. 🪙 #pennyforyourthoughts #AndysPuns
...makes cents. 🪙 #pennyforyourthoughts #AndysPuns
April 1, 2026 at 4:18 PM
I'm considering building an ATM that only dispenses coins. Sounds a little crazy, but it...
...makes cents. 🪙 #pennyforyourthoughts #AndysPuns
...makes cents. 🪙 #pennyforyourthoughts #AndysPuns
March 30, 2026 at 5:47 PM
If an Indian is born outside of India, do you still call them an Indian or...
...an Outdian? 🇮🇳 #YouDontWantNaan #AndysPuns
...an Outdian? 🇮🇳 #YouDontWantNaan #AndysPuns
March 25, 2026 at 3:14 PM
If an Indian is born outside of India, do you still call them an Indian or...
...an Outdian? 🇮🇳 #YouDontWantNaan #AndysPuns
...an Outdian? 🇮🇳 #YouDontWantNaan #AndysPuns
A patron working on their homework just asked me if the word "it" was a preposition, a conjunction, or a pronoun. I told them...
...It is what It is. 🤡 #WordNerd #AndysPuns
...It is what It is. 🤡 #WordNerd #AndysPuns
March 23, 2026 at 2:36 PM
A patron working on their homework just asked me if the word "it" was a preposition, a conjunction, or a pronoun. I told them...
...It is what It is. 🤡 #WordNerd #AndysPuns
...It is what It is. 🤡 #WordNerd #AndysPuns
I bought a second-hand time machine this weekend, and I have to say, they just don't make 'em...
...like they're going to anymore. ⌚ #TimeIsOnMySide #AndysPuns
...like they're going to anymore. ⌚ #TimeIsOnMySide #AndysPuns
March 9, 2026 at 3:43 PM
I bought a second-hand time machine this weekend, and I have to say, they just don't make 'em...
...like they're going to anymore. ⌚ #TimeIsOnMySide #AndysPuns
...like they're going to anymore. ⌚ #TimeIsOnMySide #AndysPuns
Scientists just discovered a new rock that requires constant approval. They're calling it...
...Amirite. 🪨 #LikeARock #AndysPuns
...Amirite. 🪨 #LikeARock #AndysPuns
March 3, 2026 at 2:45 PM
Scientists just discovered a new rock that requires constant approval. They're calling it...
...Amirite. 🪨 #LikeARock #AndysPuns
...Amirite. 🪨 #LikeARock #AndysPuns
Erin asked me to please stop singing "Wonderwall." I said...
..."Maaaaaybeee."🧱 #YoureGonnaBeTheOne #AndysPuns
..."Maaaaaybeee."🧱 #YoureGonnaBeTheOne #AndysPuns
February 26, 2026 at 7:54 PM
Erin asked me to please stop singing "Wonderwall." I said...
..."Maaaaaybeee."🧱 #YoureGonnaBeTheOne #AndysPuns
..."Maaaaaybeee."🧱 #YoureGonnaBeTheOne #AndysPuns
Erin and I had a Russian Uber driver over the weekend, and his name was...
...Pikup Andropov. 🚕 #HailComrade #AndysPuns
...Pikup Andropov. 🚕 #HailComrade #AndysPuns
February 25, 2026 at 2:55 PM
Erin and I had a Russian Uber driver over the weekend, and his name was...
...Pikup Andropov. 🚕 #HailComrade #AndysPuns
...Pikup Andropov. 🚕 #HailComrade #AndysPuns
Does anyone know why geese fly south for the winter? It's...
...faster than walking. 🪿 #DuckDuck #AndysPuns
...faster than walking. 🪿 #DuckDuck #AndysPuns
February 23, 2026 at 9:35 PM
Does anyone know why geese fly south for the winter? It's...
...faster than walking. 🪿 #DuckDuck #AndysPuns
...faster than walking. 🪿 #DuckDuck #AndysPuns
Just found out you don’t need actual training to become a garbage collector. You just sort of…
…pick it up as you go along. 🗑️ #Trash #AndysPuns
…pick it up as you go along. 🗑️ #Trash #AndysPuns
February 18, 2026 at 4:51 PM
Just found out you don’t need actual training to become a garbage collector. You just sort of…
…pick it up as you go along. 🗑️ #Trash #AndysPuns
…pick it up as you go along. 🗑️ #Trash #AndysPuns
If you give someone a smile in America, does that mean in Europe you need to give them a...
...skilometer? 🙂 #SmilesPerHour #AndysPuns
...skilometer? 🙂 #SmilesPerHour #AndysPuns
February 11, 2026 at 6:26 PM
If you give someone a smile in America, does that mean in Europe you need to give them a...
...skilometer? 🙂 #SmilesPerHour #AndysPuns
...skilometer? 🙂 #SmilesPerHour #AndysPuns
Did you know that there were actually 102 Dalmatians? The other one was…
…never spotted. 🐶 #ISeeSpots #AndysPuns
…never spotted. 🐶 #ISeeSpots #AndysPuns
February 6, 2026 at 1:55 AM
Did you know that there were actually 102 Dalmatians? The other one was…
…never spotted. 🐶 #ISeeSpots #AndysPuns
…never spotted. 🐶 #ISeeSpots #AndysPuns
My mom says she changes her passwords from time to time. I should probably tell her that they're the...
...same words. 🕰️ #IsOnMySide #AndysPuns
...same words. 🕰️ #IsOnMySide #AndysPuns
February 4, 2026 at 4:04 PM
My mom says she changes her passwords from time to time. I should probably tell her that they're the...
...same words. 🕰️ #IsOnMySide #AndysPuns
...same words. 🕰️ #IsOnMySide #AndysPuns
I only ever recall mom taking my temperature, but I suppose that's 'cause there's no such thing as a...
...therdadeter. 🌡️ #HotBlooded #AndysPuns
...therdadeter. 🌡️ #HotBlooded #AndysPuns
February 3, 2026 at 9:36 PM
I only ever recall mom taking my temperature, but I suppose that's 'cause there's no such thing as a...
...therdadeter. 🌡️ #HotBlooded #AndysPuns
...therdadeter. 🌡️ #HotBlooded #AndysPuns
I accidentally superglued my thumb and forefinger together. Don't worry. I'll be...
...okay. 👌 #OkayIsh #AndysPuns
...okay. 👌 #OkayIsh #AndysPuns
February 2, 2026 at 7:07 PM
I accidentally superglued my thumb and forefinger together. Don't worry. I'll be...
...okay. 👌 #OkayIsh #AndysPuns
...okay. 👌 #OkayIsh #AndysPuns
Woke up this morning and found the bed covered in stir-fry. I must have been...
...sleep wokking again. 🥘 #inthemiddleofthenight #AndysPuns
...sleep wokking again. 🥘 #inthemiddleofthenight #AndysPuns
January 28, 2026 at 2:48 PM
Woke up this morning and found the bed covered in stir-fry. I must have been...
...sleep wokking again. 🥘 #inthemiddleofthenight #AndysPuns
...sleep wokking again. 🥘 #inthemiddleofthenight #AndysPuns