Was it naivete? Confidence? Maybe just the lack of trauma?

All I know was that I changed. And looking back? I was an asshole. Incredibly stupid to boot. I made so many mistakes. Fucked up countless times.

And I'm sorry. to all who sat on the receiving end of it. Even if you wronged me too.

Would I still be scared of the future? Would I still want to go back?

Would I actually have anything keeping me in the present as I do now?

I don't - *can't* know.

I just want that person to tell me - that me from back then - what made you so happy? What was it that kept you going strong?

I miss the way some things used to be. I miss people I've lost from my own mistakes. I miss those who betrayed and framed me.
I miss who *I* was back then - they were much better prepared to face the future than I.

As I look forward, I can only imagine - what would it be like if x happened instead?

I keep thinking - if I could go back...what would I change? And the truth is, there's no clear answer.
I'd entirely *want* to change some things - not hurt certain people, not trust others, not pick one side over another...
But doing so would also cost me dearly.

I've hurt a lot of people. I've been hurt in turn. I've taken sides - wrong and right. - I've tried to make amends when I could. I've been left behind and betrayed. I've grown deep connections and felt deeper love in return.

circlejourney.net/trainercard/