Ben Allain 🥌
@benallain.bsky.social
My other car is another car that has a sticker that says my other car is this car.
🦅 & 🍁
🦅 & 🍁
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
vote for medicare for all and you get way more than that
Trump: "Only I can make this promise to you: If the Republicans win the House and Senate, I will issue a dividend to every adult citizen in the United States of America for $5,000"
September 10, 2026 at 2:46 AM
vote for medicare for all and you get way more than that
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
hello im the CEO and i can’t do anything without the support of the simpering vizier that lives in the computer. in order to keep collecting an offensively meager paycheck you too must consult the vizier regularly. don’t worry he has lots of uses other than just hopefully putting you out of a job
September 8, 2026 at 2:09 PM
hello im the CEO and i can’t do anything without the support of the simpering vizier that lives in the computer. in order to keep collecting an offensively meager paycheck you too must consult the vizier regularly. don’t worry he has lots of uses other than just hopefully putting you out of a job
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
2 - @denversummitfc.bsky.social has recorded as many wins over Gotham FC this regular season as all other #NWSL teams combined (2).
Kryptonite.
Kryptonite.
September 6, 2026 at 8:03 PM
2 - @denversummitfc.bsky.social has recorded as many wins over Gotham FC this regular season as all other #NWSL teams combined (2).
Kryptonite.
Kryptonite.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
![4-panel comic. (1) [Person with ponytail addressing students seated at desks.] PERSON 1 with ponytail: Welcome to Geology 201. Today we’ll be review-bombing Applebees. (2) [Person 1 points to board on wall.] PERSON 1: Tomorrow we’ll do Costco and Sephora. PERSON 2: Why? PERSON 1: If we cut traffic to the Northgate Shopping Center, it will go to the East Plaza instead. (3) [Board shows map.] This will push the state to cancel the North Bridge Project and shift funds to the Highway 2 Extension... (4) ...creating new roadcuts through Triassic shale. PERSON 2: I *like* Applebees. PERSON 1: Then you should have told the city to approve my dig permit.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreigu5ey2adahbzvsk4nisnr5fbv3j4mw76tudzmo3uzbu5lizbseki)
September 4, 2026 at 6:21 PM
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
4 yrs ago today, a family member managed a truly spectacular own goal, splintered his domestic bliss, & in the process, united the world for a day.
On popular request, I shall now recreate the livetweet thread from that day
So gather around children, for this is the tale of The Rice Truck Saga
On popular request, I shall now recreate the livetweet thread from that day
So gather around children, for this is the tale of The Rice Truck Saga
September 4, 2024 at 4:14 PM
4 yrs ago today, a family member managed a truly spectacular own goal, splintered his domestic bliss, & in the process, united the world for a day.
On popular request, I shall now recreate the livetweet thread from that day
So gather around children, for this is the tale of The Rice Truck Saga
On popular request, I shall now recreate the livetweet thread from that day
So gather around children, for this is the tale of The Rice Truck Saga
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
![Comic. [Person standing holding hammer above raised knee.] PERSON: Listen up, leg. I’ve been sending you rich, oxygenated blood for years, while you send me worthless used-up blood with no oxygen. Time to teach you a lesson about not ripping me off! [caption] Tariffs](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreicenlzjvvtlegllp5khszuneez6ygyiq3d5g37oaqz5hkwoqhteru)
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
Social media often feels like you're at a loud party talking about zebras and someone wanders up drunk going 'I couldn't help overhearing you were talking about zebras, have you seen that film' and after 8 minutes it turns out they mean The Lion King and they're thinking of hyenas.
I don’t mentally understand why people say stuff like that. Your sentence does not follow from my post. Why did you post this? What is wrong with you? Emotionally. WHY DO PEOPLE SAY STUFF LIKE THIS? YOU ARE ILLITERATE
September 1, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Social media often feels like you're at a loud party talking about zebras and someone wanders up drunk going 'I couldn't help overhearing you were talking about zebras, have you seen that film' and after 8 minutes it turns out they mean The Lion King and they're thinking of hyenas.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
Welcome to the commercial break. There are only three products left you can buy: drug, gambling, or car insurance
August 31, 2026 at 12:17 AM
Welcome to the commercial break. There are only three products left you can buy: drug, gambling, or car insurance
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
"We should never forget that Dolly Parton chose not to be a billionaire."
August 26, 2026 at 2:37 AM
"We should never forget that Dolly Parton chose not to be a billionaire."
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
Some people are so universally beloved that I think we shouldn’t be told when they die. Let us figure it out eventually but never receive confirmation. We should always be able to idly speculate that somehow there’s a chance they *could* still be alive
August 25, 2026 at 7:18 PM
Some people are so universally beloved that I think we shouldn’t be told when they die. Let us figure it out eventually but never receive confirmation. We should always be able to idly speculate that somehow there’s a chance they *could* still be alive
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
If you’re not potty trained by now you don’t get to be in the pool with the rest of us and we’re not gonna have a civilized debate about it while the water fills up with your filth.
August 24, 2026 at 2:35 AM
If you’re not potty trained by now you don’t get to be in the pool with the rest of us and we’re not gonna have a civilized debate about it while the water fills up with your filth.
As someone who lives in a major city and whose house was smashed into by a car roughly 12 hours ago, I concur
[redacted person who does not know whose mentions they wandered into]: In my city, the cyclists are so entitled, they act like they own the roads.
Me: LET THE BIKES OWN THE ROADS. THE BIKES ARE FAR LESS DANGEROUS AND POLLUTING BY ABSOLUTELY EVERY MEASURE. MAKE THE CARS PAY TOLLS TO THE CYCLISTS.
Me: LET THE BIKES OWN THE ROADS. THE BIKES ARE FAR LESS DANGEROUS AND POLLUTING BY ABSOLUTELY EVERY MEASURE. MAKE THE CARS PAY TOLLS TO THE CYCLISTS.
August 16, 2026 at 8:58 PM
As someone who lives in a major city and whose house was smashed into by a car roughly 12 hours ago, I concur
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
Professional Manipulator Of Journalists Nice And Accommodating To Journalist, Says Journalist
August 13, 2026 at 2:37 PM
Professional Manipulator Of Journalists Nice And Accommodating To Journalist, Says Journalist
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
hooooooooooooool
Awkward moment in the Brazilian top flight: Coritiba player falls into a tunnel celebrating against Chapecoense, only for the goal to be ruled out for offside
August 9, 2026 at 10:07 PM
hooooooooooooool
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
The legend Robin Lopez
August 9, 2026 at 5:47 AM
The legend Robin Lopez
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
WaPo making same claim that’s been disproven again & again. Who do they imagine these people are, willing to pay the price of abandoning home, friends, lives they’ve built. “Sorry, kids, we’re leaving the only home you’ve ever known & all our friends to pay 7% state tax instead of 8%.”
August 7, 2026 at 11:51 PM
WaPo making same claim that’s been disproven again & again. Who do they imagine these people are, willing to pay the price of abandoning home, friends, lives they’ve built. “Sorry, kids, we’re leaving the only home you’ve ever known & all our friends to pay 7% state tax instead of 8%.”
First they came for the ex-diplomats living overseas with a multi-million dollar inheritance, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a whiny baby
August 7, 2026 at 5:02 PM
First they came for the ex-diplomats living overseas with a multi-million dollar inheritance, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a whiny baby
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
Musk should be forced to use his personal wealth to clean it up. Clean the moon, you dead eyed haddock-faced bitch. What do you mean it's too hard? you were going to have a city living on Mars as soon as 8 years ago. Do it by Tuesday.
(AFP) - A four-ton piece of a SpaceX rocket was believed to have unintentionally crashed into the Moon on Wednesday ..
@afp.com #$SPCX
www.yahoo.com/news/science...
@afp.com #$SPCX
www.yahoo.com/news/science...
SpaceX rocket stage believed to have slammed into Moon
A four-tonne piece of a SpaceX rocket was believed to have unintentionally crashed into the Moon on Wednesday, a collision that posed no danger to Earth but is expected to leave behind a lunar crater....
www.yahoo.com
August 6, 2026 at 11:50 AM
Musk should be forced to use his personal wealth to clean it up. Clean the moon, you dead eyed haddock-faced bitch. What do you mean it's too hard? you were going to have a city living on Mars as soon as 8 years ago. Do it by Tuesday.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
That's what taxes are, man. That's the definition of taxes. "You are subsidizing things you might never use" man shut the fuck up. My taxes currently subsidize like oil company exec private jets, you think I'm upset at low-income people eating inexpensive bananas?
Opinion: Mamdani's idea may sound appealing, but it's NYC taxpayers who will take the hit, subsidizing discounts they may never even use.
Mamdani's city-owned grocery stores are a socialist trap | Opinion
No matter how good Zohran Mamdani makes grocery affordability sound, he's selling New Yorkers the same broken promise that has failed everywhere else.
bit.ly
August 4, 2026 at 3:02 AM
That's what taxes are, man. That's the definition of taxes. "You are subsidizing things you might never use" man shut the fuck up. My taxes currently subsidize like oil company exec private jets, you think I'm upset at low-income people eating inexpensive bananas?
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
When the Siberian Bacteria with Stem Placenta Baby Drips $165,000 hits
August 1, 2026 at 3:39 PM
When the Siberian Bacteria with Stem Placenta Baby Drips $165,000 hits
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
Good-faith concern on this issue would be going, "hmm, professional sports leagues should probably have some standards in place to ensure trans competitors aren't getting an unfair advantage," googling for 5 minutes, realizing every sports league already has those standards and dropping it.
i don't believe anyone has "good-faith" concerns about trans women in sports in 2026. there's been too much time to hear the actual evidence, the actual people affected, and the role the debate plays in attempts to purge trans people from American life. anybody picking that side has made a choice
enough of this shit
July 30, 2026 at 1:50 PM
Good-faith concern on this issue would be going, "hmm, professional sports leagues should probably have some standards in place to ensure trans competitors aren't getting an unfair advantage," googling for 5 minutes, realizing every sports league already has those standards and dropping it.
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
It is genuinely bizarre that we’ve become acclimatized to right wingers throwing a tantrum every time a black person (particularly a black woman) is cast in something, but are also supposed to pretend that this is not racism but related to some other substantive concern.
July 25, 2026 at 6:00 PM
It is genuinely bizarre that we’ve become acclimatized to right wingers throwing a tantrum every time a black person (particularly a black woman) is cast in something, but are also supposed to pretend that this is not racism but related to some other substantive concern.
LMFAO. Personally I feel this says less about his gardening experience (which is clearly zero) and is more telling about the obvious fact that the guy has never shopped at or eaten a tomato from a store
Grocery store tomatoes are GARBAGE
But he's all "look at me and how relatable I am"
Grocery store tomatoes are GARBAGE
But he's all "look at me and how relatable I am"
"work is going to be optional" in the AI and robot-fueled future, Musk says. He compares it to gardening today: you can grow tomatoes if you want, but they won't be as good as the ones in the store, he says.
all this proves is that Musk has never gardened in his life, store bought tomatoes suck
all this proves is that Musk has never gardened in his life, store bought tomatoes suck
July 24, 2026 at 5:49 PM
LMFAO. Personally I feel this says less about his gardening experience (which is clearly zero) and is more telling about the obvious fact that the guy has never shopped at or eaten a tomato from a store
Grocery store tomatoes are GARBAGE
But he's all "look at me and how relatable I am"
Grocery store tomatoes are GARBAGE
But he's all "look at me and how relatable I am"
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
this is the best concert featuring Madonna, the Muppets, BTS, and Shakira sponsored by Topps that I've ever seen
July 19, 2026 at 8:14 PM
this is the best concert featuring Madonna, the Muppets, BTS, and Shakira sponsored by Topps that I've ever seen
Reposted by Ben Allain 🥌
Four quarters and a halftime show we did it baby
July 19, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Four quarters and a halftime show we did it baby