The Intern
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The Intern
@box-intern.bsky.social
Intern at https://inside-the-box-sciences.com/ , host of the only actual play recorded clandestinely and entirely non-creepily featuring people living in a petri dish.

Note: This account is a fictional character from https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com
Things are getting weird both in the lab and in the world. Not much time to post this. #PetriPeople forever!

www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2026/04/19/e...
Episode 037 – Demanding Answers - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube There's another voicemail from the Boss, and this one is even more upsetting. Things are getting weird in the world, but they resolve to go ahead and ...
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
April 19, 2026 at 5:08 PM
It seems like Tanam might be close to wrapping things up? So many clues! For the characters it has only been a few days, but for the players it's been... a bit longer. Tanam should not be surprised that they don't remember anything. #PetriPeople www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2026/04/05/e...
Episode 036 – The Weirdest Battle I’ve Been In - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern has a system for not being so sleepy, but someone keeps making noises at night waking him up. We learn more about Tanam's relationship with...
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
April 5, 2026 at 6:23 PM
(wanted to note that separate from the episode announcement)
April 5, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Creepy person who keeps lurking in the hallway outside the lab at night: STOP. IT.
April 5, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Posting this from the lab floor. Yup. Still here. The crew is making some progress, though! Will they be able to resist the siren song call of Double Breakfast?! www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2026/03/08/e... #PetriPeople
Episode 034 – Double Breakfast and Other Things in Our Way - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern is still on the floor. Vafrus tells us some Calumn lore. Double breakfast looms, but it is only the first of many challenges.
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
March 9, 2026 at 7:47 AM
So, posting this from where I'm at feels weird. But on with the show, right! I say more in the intro. Don't worry, I'm okay. The world is okay, too. The crew, especially Ruffort and Georg, are being idiots, though. But that's also okay. #PetriPeople www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2026/02/22/e...
Episode 033 – Nope Seems like the Way to Nope - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - The Boss calls with some worrisome news. The crew works together to cushion the sudden arrival of Tagak and Teep.
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
February 22, 2026 at 9:56 PM
I swear to me. They really do take *forever* to do *anything*. If I could talk to Tanam, this is probably the first thing that I'd say. But, honestly, every RPG I've ever played goes the same way, sooooooo..... #PetriPeople

www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2026/02/08/e...
Episode 032 – Take That, Thistleroot! - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern complains about how long it takes the crew to do anything at all. The crew demonstrates this, by taking forever to do a thing, but it's abo...
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
February 9, 2026 at 8:28 AM
My boss is right. We should probably start talking about Ikky's. So, no more discussion of it. Mostly. We do get to see Urekas's cult, though, which is fine because *that's* fiction. #PetriPeople
www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2026/01/25/e...
Episode 031 – Ill Gotten Gongs - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Boss doesn't think that Ikky's should be talked about any longer. The crew visits one of Urekas's cult hideouts.
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
January 25, 2026 at 11:28 PM
So mad that Hannah / Olhana had to go incarnate and be creepy now means that I can't travel by catapult. Don't tell me you wouldn't want to, because I won't believe you. The crew is in Klaoil, after getting there by catapult and I'm jealous. www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2026/01/11/e... #PetriPeople
Episode 030 – They Don’t Teach Klaoil History in Jersioil - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern wants to travel by catapult. Don accidentally reveals some things about himself. Urekas leads the party through Klaoil.
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
January 12, 2026 at 5:20 AM
It seems like Rosie might have given up on destroying the world! In the game, they've finished the ritual and now they get to see the results! Why are they so mad at Tanam? #PetriPeople

www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2025/12/28/e...
Episode 029 – I Want My Bell Back - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Has Rosie finally decided to leave the world alone? Hopefully! In the game, the crew gets a vision from the ritual they did and they are... a little displeased.
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
December 29, 2025 at 8:22 AM
Uh... Nothing has changed? Weird, huh? But Calumn is gonna have some growth! And we finally get Georg's ritual! #PetriPeople

www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2025/12/14/e...
Episode 028 – Chanting Changed My Life - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube In the lab, the Intern has noticed that... nothing has changed? The crew is hanging out in the hotel after finding out all of the Second’s secrets, ge...
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
December 15, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Did I screw up massively or did I simply do what I was supposed to do? Also mind control? #PetriPeople

www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2025/11/30/e...
Episode 027 – Dropped Beans and Mind Control Truthers - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern maybe broke something. Rozafeen has a lemon drop. In the game, it's time to spy on Beeb.
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
December 1, 2025 at 7:47 AM
what is in that cellar that Hellena tripped over? way back in like episode... 5? I'm not actually in direct communication with Tanam, so I've been dying to know, too! Also, I think whoever designed the chronoscope was a lot like Don? Maybe? www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2025/11/16/e... #PetriPeople
Episode 026 – Of Mirrors and Cuddle Brigades - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern thinks that whoever designed the chronoscope is probably kinda like Don. In the game, we switch over to Hellena and Georg's investigation i...
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
November 16, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Apparently some scientist who used to work here incarnated into the world to rate coffees? Like, a tier list? Anyway, Urekas has run into the actual Second, after Ruffort has been pretending to be the Second. #PetriPeople www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2025/10/19/e...
Episode 024 – Finally Something Useful - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern has learned that some previous scientist incarnated a bunch to rate various coffees in the world. Urekas hits the Second with her headboard...
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
October 19, 2025 at 6:51 PM
I've been reflecting on how sus the Second is. Like, he's pretty sus, right? IDK what do you all think?

#PetriPeople

www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2025/10/05/e...
Episode 023 – Sus and Bothered - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern reasonably thinks that the Second is sus. Rozafeen is sick with Olhana's Touch, but hopefully learning what Hellena found with her very goo...
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
October 5, 2025 at 4:21 PM
OMself I never posted about Ep20! We haven't heard anything from Rosie recently, and I'm considering that a good thing. #PetriPeople

In the episode, Georg and Ruffort are heading to help out Beeb. This is FINE.
www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2025/08/24/e...
Episode 020 – Helping - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube No news is certainly good news when it comes to Rosie from accounting. Georg and Ruffort head over to help Beeb and Urekas and Hellena head over to he...
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
September 8, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Y'all. There's an Intern-worshiping cult and you won't believe how it started! In less clickbaity news, Tagak and Teep need to get the heck outta town before the Sorceress shows up. #PetriPeople

www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2025/09/07/e...
Episode 021 – With Birds As My Witness - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern has learned about Intern-focused cults, but it couldn't have been him who inspired them. In the game, Hellena and Urekas are helping Tagak ...
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
September 8, 2025 at 1:39 AM
[Hi all, please forgive this brief out-of-character post! There is a new article on our Patreon from Mark/Tanam! It's a diegetic entry from a historical travel guide that describes the Great World Gambling Hall, and it's available now for free on our Patreon.

www.patreon.com/posts/excerp... ]
Excerpt from “The Great World Gambling Hall of Mirrors” by Mitalin Skyspeckle | Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Get more from Coffee, Cults, and Empires on Patreon
www.patreon.com
August 22, 2025 at 4:09 AM
I'm back on my chronoscope grind and I don't know why I keep saying that. And typing it. Anyway... EPISODE!

www.coffeecultsandempires.com/2025/08/10/e...

#ttrpg #cce #PetriPeople
Episode 019 – Something Something Coming Home to Roost - Coffee, Cults, and Empires
Transcript - Join our Patreon! - Video on YouTube The Intern is back on his chronoscope grind. The crew is still trying to figure out what they're going to do about the knock on the door.
www.coffeecultsandempires.com
August 10, 2025 at 7:15 AM