Brian Hastie
@brianhastie.bsky.social
Typer. Writer. Rewriter. Nu-metal evangelist. He/Him.
Peak millennial cringe is remembering how people celebrated the interrobang as if it were some novel crucial development of language
September 7, 2026 at 2:21 PM
Peak millennial cringe is remembering how people celebrated the interrobang as if it were some novel crucial development of language
Ogg Vorbis heads reveal yourselves
August 12, 2026 at 1:28 PM
Ogg Vorbis heads reveal yourselves
Googling « Dunstin Checks In Criterion Collection »
August 12, 2026 at 1:21 PM
Googling « Dunstin Checks In Criterion Collection »
Told my 6-year-old nephew that I had a dental cleaning and his first question was to know if the dentist gave me Ninjago Legos afterwards and now I’m mad he didn’t
July 4, 2026 at 12:47 AM
Told my 6-year-old nephew that I had a dental cleaning and his first question was to know if the dentist gave me Ninjago Legos afterwards and now I’m mad he didn’t
btw just saw your full name in a book
June 27, 2026 at 7:02 PM
btw just saw your full name in a book
Buying a ouija board so I can ask Leonard Cohen what he thought of the Animorphs book series
June 25, 2026 at 9:52 AM
Buying a ouija board so I can ask Leonard Cohen what he thought of the Animorphs book series
Walruses make the same sound as when you hit a guy in a 90s beat em up
June 25, 2026 at 8:59 AM
Walruses make the same sound as when you hit a guy in a 90s beat em up
Sweat is just other parts of your body peeing
June 24, 2026 at 10:26 AM
Sweat is just other parts of your body peeing
Happy Father’s Day, reminder that Bowser is a bad dad who retconned his kids’ existence
June 21, 2026 at 1:03 PM
Happy Father’s Day, reminder that Bowser is a bad dad who retconned his kids’ existence
I honestly do wish Limp Bizkit would play stuff off of The Unquestionable Truth Pt 1 EP. So many of these riffs would sound massive live.
June 17, 2026 at 9:57 PM
I honestly do wish Limp Bizkit would play stuff off of The Unquestionable Truth Pt 1 EP. So many of these riffs would sound massive live.
It’s 9 pm, do you know where your emotional support umbrella is?
June 6, 2026 at 12:48 AM
It’s 9 pm, do you know where your emotional support umbrella is?
I’m more of a Pipgen/Snoopy hybrid if we’re being honest
June 5, 2026 at 2:03 AM
I’m more of a Pipgen/Snoopy hybrid if we’re being honest
I won’t lie to you, I never did keep up with the Kardashians
June 4, 2026 at 12:55 PM
I won’t lie to you, I never did keep up with the Kardashians
Sometimes you’re the egg man, sometimes you’re the walrus
June 1, 2026 at 2:19 PM
Sometimes you’re the egg man, sometimes you’re the walrus
GTL stands for Gym Tan Lando Calrissian
May 5, 2026 at 3:25 AM
GTL stands for Gym Tan Lando Calrissian
I have a friend who works weddings and one thing he mentioned years ago that still sticks with me is that one time the groom/bride 1st dance was set to... Ben Folds Five - Brick.
May 2, 2026 at 1:19 PM
I have a friend who works weddings and one thing he mentioned years ago that still sticks with me is that one time the groom/bride 1st dance was set to... Ben Folds Five - Brick.
On this glorious release day of LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY BY LEE CRONIN of LEE CRONIN FAME, let us take a minute to remember the glorious disaster that was the botched trailer drop for Tom Cruise’s The Mummy that lacked music in some places:
youtu.be/kRqxyqjpOHs?...
youtu.be/kRqxyqjpOHs?...
The Mummy Trailer without music or sound effects
YouTube video by Moses Francis
youtu.be
April 17, 2026 at 2:49 PM
On this glorious release day of LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY BY LEE CRONIN of LEE CRONIN FAME, let us take a minute to remember the glorious disaster that was the botched trailer drop for Tom Cruise’s The Mummy that lacked music in some places:
youtu.be/kRqxyqjpOHs?...
youtu.be/kRqxyqjpOHs?...
Mons Pubis Turkish Hair Transplant System 100% Effective On Male Adult Heads
April 10, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Mons Pubis Turkish Hair Transplant System 100% Effective On Male Adult Heads
New mixtape name:
No One Knows I Peed In The Pacific Ocean But A Strong Tide Swept Me Three Feet Back And Now I’m Swimming Through A Cloud Of My Own Piss Vol. 1
No One Knows I Peed In The Pacific Ocean But A Strong Tide Swept Me Three Feet Back And Now I’m Swimming Through A Cloud Of My Own Piss Vol. 1
April 5, 2026 at 10:47 PM
New mixtape name:
No One Knows I Peed In The Pacific Ocean But A Strong Tide Swept Me Three Feet Back And Now I’m Swimming Through A Cloud Of My Own Piss Vol. 1
No One Knows I Peed In The Pacific Ocean But A Strong Tide Swept Me Three Feet Back And Now I’m Swimming Through A Cloud Of My Own Piss Vol. 1
Just call me MR. ANTEAFA
Lover of leaves
Hater of fascists
Lover of leaves
Hater of fascists
March 29, 2026 at 2:31 PM
Just call me MR. ANTEAFA
Lover of leaves
Hater of fascists
Lover of leaves
Hater of fascists
I heard a guy today say “jacking it off” instead of “jacking off” and I immediately thought (and now believe) that he absolutely destroyed his shit, like his hog is just a husk and a whisper of smoke
March 26, 2026 at 2:57 AM
I heard a guy today say “jacking it off” instead of “jacking off” and I immediately thought (and now believe) that he absolutely destroyed his shit, like his hog is just a husk and a whisper of smoke
You know what job has disappeared over the last few decades?
Ombudsperson.
Ombudsperson.
March 25, 2026 at 1:59 PM
You know what job has disappeared over the last few decades?
Ombudsperson.
Ombudsperson.
Time travel has such a a bad rep
March 25, 2026 at 1:19 PM
Time travel has such a a bad rep
Name a greater duo than green screens and modern metalcore music videos
March 22, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Name a greater duo than green screens and modern metalcore music videos
You know who wasn’t in the Epstein files?
Belial from the Basket Case franchise.
Belial from the Basket Case franchise.
February 6, 2026 at 2:18 AM
You know who wasn’t in the Epstein files?
Belial from the Basket Case franchise.
Belial from the Basket Case franchise.