Nicole Bross
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brossypants.nicolebross.com
Nicole Bross
@brossypants.nicolebross.com
79 followers 67 following 180 posts
Author of PAST PRESENCE | Book coach | Editor of Birthing Magazine | accidental TikTok influencer➡️momsrecipebox | AuDHD | she/her
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brossypants.nicolebross.com
Tell me why my 16yo will go to any length to avoid calling me mom in texts lol

Today alone I’ve been bro, brother, dude and boy, and I’m sure a bruh isn’t far off. Sometimes in a strange reversal HE’LL call ME son 💀
June 30, 2026 at 11:08 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
There hasn’t been any aurora lately so I’ve been out snapping my second-favourite sky show
A vivid white bolt of lightning descends from a stormy night sky, with a river valley visible in the bottom of the frame. The lightning branches out in a starburst shape somewhat reminiscent of bronchioles in a lung A vivid white bolt of lightning shoots from right to left in a stormy night sky, with a river valley visible in the bottom of the frame. The lightning is multi-pronged and does not make contact with the ground A vivid white bolt of lightning descends from a stormy night sky, illuminating it almost as bright as day. The bolt has many branches, each with its own branchlets A vivid white bolt of lightning descends from a stormy night sky, with a river valley visible in the bottom of the frame. The lightning makes contact with the ground but has several branches extending outward into the sky as well, and has several shades, including blue, pink and white—a transgender pride lightning bolt
May 27, 2026 at 9:13 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
It’s been two weeks and we STILL haven’t found the two missing Easter eggs from the kids’ hunt 🫠
April 18, 2026 at 9:54 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
New tennis rule idea: if you smash your racket, you have to use it for the next point before you’re allowed a new one
April 10, 2026 at 1:20 AM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
Scammer’s really playing the long game here
A screenshot of a text conversation. An unknown contact messages “What’s up sexy girl how you doing” in Feb 2020. I reply “pretty fucking awful tbh My foot is so infected” The unknown contact replies “Ooo” The same unknown contact texts again in Mar 2026 “What’s up sexy girl how you doing” I reply “I lost that foot man”
March 28, 2026 at 3:20 AM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
Literally the best flight I’ve ever taken and it’s not even close 😭
A picture shot through the window of a plane, with the wing visible extending out from the right. The curvature of the earth is in the lower half of the frame, and above it the aurora borealis swirls in vivid greens, crossing the sky like a ribbon of light.
November 12, 2025 at 3:56 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
The thing I always forget when I’m making spicy pickling brine is that when you boil vinegar with cayenne powder in it you’re basically filling the air with pepper spray steam 🫠
November 5, 2025 at 10:58 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
The carrot harvest—that was legit bountiful 🥕👩‍🌾 Will pickle some, make soup out of the rest!
A large pile of freshly-pulled carrots sits on top of a white kitchen counter. The carrots still have dirt clinging to them and vibrant green fern-like tops. There are probably 100 carrots in the pile.
October 27, 2025 at 9:46 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
Pub day is here! (It was actually yesterday, I’m so bad at social media lol) There was CAKE and #1 BEST SELLER BANNERS and MUCH SCREAMING

If you or someone you know is a neurospicy writer who wants to ACTUALLY WRITE THAT BOOK, grab your copy of A Novel Approach today!

books2read.com/anovelapproach
A photo showing a rectangular sheet cake with white icing piped around the edges. On top is an edible image of the front cover of the new nonfiction book A Novel Approach: Strategies for ADHD Writers. The cover is red, with an image of a black scribbled line that straightens out to trace the shape of an open book and pen. The text is white for the title and author names, and yellow for the subtitle. A screenshot of the Amazon sale page for the new nonfiction book A Novel Approach: Strategies for ADHD Writers. The page features the #1 Best Seller banner for the Authorship category.
October 16, 2025 at 11:15 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
Behold my bountiful grape harvest lol
A close-up picture of a small bunch of half a dozen cherry-pit-sized purple Concord grapes hanging from a vine of yellowing leaves. Out of focus in the background is a second, similarly-sized bunch of unripened grapes.
October 6, 2025 at 6:54 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
GIANT controversy in the family group chat today when my dad unveiled a spreadsheet tracking every country we’d each been to (lol) but left off more than half of them for everyone except himself 💀

We all had to pause in the middle of our workdays to correct the record because that CANNOT stand 🫷
September 30, 2025 at 3:45 AM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
I just wanted a nice pic of him in the catnip watching the bees but instead-

I am CRYING
A black cat is sitting outside in a large patch of catnip with purple flowers. A stream of green liquid barf is coming out of his mouth.
August 31, 2025 at 8:46 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
CANNOT believe this is my life
A handwritten post-it note is stuck to a kitchen table. It reads “if you want WATERMELON it’s in the OVEN because cats are GOBLINS” A plate of watermelon slices sits on the same kitchen table. A black cat is bent toward it, eating one of the slices.
August 14, 2025 at 11:54 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
My lavatera this year is GORGEOUS
A close-up photo of a bubblegum-pink lavatera flower, with darker pink striations from the centre outward.
August 9, 2025 at 9:23 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
“Melt-proof sweetness” what? Are people melting other types of fruit? Is this happening accidentally or on purpose? Is it because of climate change? Are my nectarines safe? Do I need to set up fans for my apple trees?!?!
A close-up of a Chiquita banana sticker on a banana. The text at the bottom of the sticker reads “melt-proof sweetness.”
July 30, 2025 at 8:18 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
Blueberry basil jam 🫐

Somehow wound up making 26 jars of this, good thing it’s frickin’ delicious
A dozen half-pint jars of blueberry basil jam are stacked two levels high on top of a kitchen table with a blue resin river running through it
July 11, 2025 at 9:54 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
Me if I was a typewriter
An overhead photo of a grey manual Underwood typewriter. It has a bright pink handwritten sign that says “I’m old! Please do NOT push my buttons.”
July 6, 2025 at 4:16 AM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
Just spent 20 minutes looking for a bra that I was wearing, in case you were wondering if perimenopause affects cognition 🫠
July 4, 2025 at 1:45 AM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
MY 🌸 PEONIES 🌸 ARE 🌸 BLOOMING
A vibrant peony plant with white and pale pink flowers in full bloom A close-up of a peony flower in full bloom. The interior of the flower is a creamy white and the outer petals are a pale pink. It’s surrounded by green leaves.
June 27, 2025 at 5:25 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
I know a lot of people strive for Inbox Zero but for me it’s Laundry Basket Zero

I’m not capable of achieving either fwiw 🫠
June 22, 2025 at 10:30 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
Adult-man-waiting-for-teenage-girl-(or younger 🤮)to-grow-up-so-they-can-be-in-love is the grossest trope, actually. It’s not romantic, it’s a politer version of pedophilia. “I’m willing to wait” YOU’RE ATTRACTED TO A LITERAL CHILD
June 16, 2025 at 5:32 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
Uhh no
A screenshot of a google spellcheck suggesting to change the word ‘muffins’ (spelled with an S at the end) to ‘muffinz’ with a Z at the end. The sentence the word is being used in is “The muffins sound delicious.”
June 10, 2025 at 2:54 AM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
This headline 😭😭😭
A screenshot of a headline from a CTV news story. It reads “What’s so special about orange cats? Turns out they’re freaks of nature” Above the headline is a picture of a short haired orange tabby cat with pale green eyes, looking up
May 24, 2025 at 6:58 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
This is the most beautiful tree in my neighbourhood
On a quiet neighbourhood street, a tree with a vivid canopy of bright pink blossoms spans the entire front yard and over the sidewalk. The tree is in full bloom, with so many flowers that no leaves are visible at all.
May 22, 2025 at 7:35 PM
brossypants.nicolebross.com
We put the flowers in the bin so the cats couldn’t get at them so OF COURSE this happened
A tall glass plant cabinet sits in front of a sunny full-length window in a living room with a hardwood floor. On top of it is a green Rubbermaid bin holding two flower bouquets, which are partially visible. Also just poking up over the top of the bin are two ears of a black cat.
May 20, 2025 at 10:51 PM