Medic
@burntlesbian.bsky.social
Why don't people tell jokes to humpty dumpty anymore? cuz he might crack up
September 11, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Why don't people tell jokes to humpty dumpty anymore? cuz he might crack up
I would consider my bed underappreciated, It's the most slept-on object in my room
September 10, 2026 at 10:34 AM
I would consider my bed underappreciated, It's the most slept-on object in my room
What happens when orcs smoke pipe-weed? they become Uruk-high
September 9, 2026 at 11:23 AM
What happens when orcs smoke pipe-weed? they become Uruk-high
Dreams are sometimes connected. why? cuz of sandman's little brother, ampersandman
September 8, 2026 at 5:37 PM
Dreams are sometimes connected. why? cuz of sandman's little brother, ampersandman
Why do lizards love massometers? cuz it scales
September 6, 2026 at 5:14 PM
Why do lizards love massometers? cuz it scales
Whats another name for your funny bone? the humerus
September 5, 2026 at 5:40 PM
Whats another name for your funny bone? the humerus
What do skeletons use to make a call? they use a tele-bone
September 4, 2026 at 6:04 PM
What do skeletons use to make a call? they use a tele-bone
Whats a tree you should always have on hand? a palm tree
September 3, 2026 at 5:02 PM
Whats a tree you should always have on hand? a palm tree
just went to an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers
September 2, 2026 at 2:16 PM
just went to an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers
Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes
September 1, 2026 at 10:30 AM
Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes
Why did the football team go to the bank? they had to get their quarterback
August 31, 2026 at 2:56 PM
Why did the football team go to the bank? they had to get their quarterback
Why did the detective bring a pencil to the crime scene? cuz he needed to draw a conclusion
August 30, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Why did the detective bring a pencil to the crime scene? cuz he needed to draw a conclusion
whats a cat's favorite color? purrple
August 29, 2026 at 5:38 PM
whats a cat's favorite color? purrple
What does a house wear? address
August 28, 2026 at 2:04 PM
What does a house wear? address
Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 ate 9
August 27, 2026 at 3:01 PM
Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 ate 9
How do trees access the internet? they log in
August 26, 2026 at 1:39 PM
How do trees access the internet? they log in
What do you call a skeleton that's not moving? A skeletoff
August 25, 2026 at 11:07 AM
What do you call a skeleton that's not moving? A skeletoff
What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party? aye matey
August 24, 2026 at 10:37 AM
What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party? aye matey
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room
August 23, 2026 at 11:22 AM
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room
Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now
August 22, 2026 at 1:43 PM
Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now
A soldier whacked Dwight Eisenhower on the head once, Eisenhower grabbed the soldier's shoulder and said "Son," he said "Do you know who you just pissed off?" the soldier looks at him straight in the eyes and said "Yeah, do you know who I am!?" Eisenhower said "No." the soldier, he says "Thank god!"
August 21, 2026 at 1:09 PM
A soldier whacked Dwight Eisenhower on the head once, Eisenhower grabbed the soldier's shoulder and said "Son," he said "Do you know who you just pissed off?" the soldier looks at him straight in the eyes and said "Yeah, do you know who I am!?" Eisenhower said "No." the soldier, he says "Thank god!"
why did the mushroom go to the party? cuz he was a fungi
August 20, 2026 at 3:43 PM
why did the mushroom go to the party? cuz he was a fungi
Why did the scarecrow win an award? because he was outstanding in his field
August 19, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Why did the scarecrow win an award? because he was outstanding in his field
There was an explosion at the cheese factory, I saw so much de-Brie
August 18, 2026 at 10:12 AM
There was an explosion at the cheese factory, I saw so much de-Brie
Why don't oysters donate to charity? because they're shellfish
August 17, 2026 at 10:07 AM
Why don't oysters donate to charity? because they're shellfish