Call Up A Storm
@callupastorm.com
Forthcoming Minnesota United blog with occasional other American soccer content. By sickos, for sickos.
Good: I've actually written a bunch lately!
Bad: I have told precisely nobody!
So... enjoy!
A breakdown of new Loon Cherrion Valerius: callupastorm.com/greetings-to...
A look at why Minnesota's next five games could decide its season: callupastorm.com/the-crucible...
Bad: I have told precisely nobody!
So... enjoy!
A breakdown of new Loon Cherrion Valerius: callupastorm.com/greetings-to...
A look at why Minnesota's next five games could decide its season: callupastorm.com/the-crucible...
Greetings to the New Right Back: Cherrion Valerius is a Loon
Despite being connected with attacking midfielders all transfer window, Minnesota’s only deadline day acquisition was at the other end of the pitch. For the second window in a row, the team pursued NA...
callupastorm.com
September 8, 2026 at 4:29 AM
Good: I've actually written a bunch lately!
Bad: I have told precisely nobody!
So... enjoy!
A breakdown of new Loon Cherrion Valerius: callupastorm.com/greetings-to...
A look at why Minnesota's next five games could decide its season: callupastorm.com/the-crucible...
Bad: I have told precisely nobody!
So... enjoy!
A breakdown of new Loon Cherrion Valerius: callupastorm.com/greetings-to...
A look at why Minnesota's next five games could decide its season: callupastorm.com/the-crucible...
Marcus Caldeira has already done something only six other players in #MNUFC history have done and he's on the edge of joining even more elite company: callupastorm.com/what-is-the-...
What Is The Most Consecutive Games Someone Scored for Minnesota United?
Marcus Caldeira has been on an absolute tear since the end of Leagues Cup. He has a goal contribution in five of the six games Minnesota has played, including four goals in the last three games as Min...
callupastorm.com
September 8, 2026 at 4:26 AM
Marcus Caldeira has already done something only six other players in #MNUFC history have done and he's on the edge of joining even more elite company: callupastorm.com/what-is-the-...
<laughing and clapping like a drunk seal>
September 6, 2026 at 3:56 AM
<laughing and clapping like a drunk seal>
With mere moments to spare: A quick look at why the next month is do-or-die for #MNUFC starting tonight in Portland: callupastorm.com/the-crucible...
The Crucible, 2026 Edition: Part One
Last season, Minnesota United knew they were playoff bound with several weeks to spare, but that was markedly different than either the 2023 season — when they actually did miss the playoffs entirely ...
callupastorm.com
September 6, 2026 at 2:30 AM
With mere moments to spare: A quick look at why the next month is do-or-die for #MNUFC starting tonight in Portland: callupastorm.com/the-crucible...
Reposted by Call Up A Storm
The time crunch makes this exceptionally difficult, so if Hank Stebbins can pull this deal off without breaking the bank, go ahead and give him the CSO gig: callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
September 2, 2026 at 5:12 AM
The time crunch makes this exceptionally difficult, so if Hank Stebbins can pull this deal off without breaking the bank, go ahead and give him the CSO gig: callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
The time crunch makes this exceptionally difficult, so if Hank Stebbins can pull this deal off without breaking the bank, go ahead and give him the CSO gig: callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
September 2, 2026 at 5:12 AM
The time crunch makes this exceptionally difficult, so if Hank Stebbins can pull this deal off without breaking the bank, go ahead and give him the CSO gig: callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
callupastorm.com/a-few-short-...
Saturday was fun, but is there any reason to believe it was a sign of things to come?
Actually, yes.
Maybe. TBD.
If there is, the Marcus Caldeira hype train boards here.
Saturday was fun, but is there any reason to believe it was a sign of things to come?
Actually, yes.
Maybe. TBD.
If there is, the Marcus Caldeira hype train boards here.
A Few Short Thoughts About Minnesota United's Win Over San Jose
I’m not usually one to react to one game, but last weekend’s 5-1 beatdown of San Jose validated a lot of what I’ve been thinking about the team as well as prompting some questions, so here we go. Weird Formation/Arpeggi All season, even when they were winning games, there was this sense that
callupastorm.com
August 26, 2026 at 3:10 AM
callupastorm.com/a-few-short-...
Saturday was fun, but is there any reason to believe it was a sign of things to come?
Actually, yes.
Maybe. TBD.
If there is, the Marcus Caldeira hype train boards here.
Saturday was fun, but is there any reason to believe it was a sign of things to come?
Actually, yes.
Maybe. TBD.
If there is, the Marcus Caldeira hype train boards here.
Not on the scoresheet, second strikers seldom are, but Caldeira has made two unselfish runs to open up space for Yeboah and Yeboah has scored them both.
If that’s repeatable, the Loons will look like a different team overnight.
If that’s repeatable, the Loons will look like a different team overnight.
Me: I think Caldeira would excel as a second striker, but I don’t see the fit on this team.
Cam: Hold my copy of “Inverting the Pyramid”
Cam: Hold my copy of “Inverting the Pyramid”
The crew is set
August 23, 2026 at 3:30 AM
Not on the scoresheet, second strikers seldom are, but Caldeira has made two unselfish runs to open up space for Yeboah and Yeboah has scored them both.
If that’s repeatable, the Loons will look like a different team overnight.
If that’s repeatable, the Loons will look like a different team overnight.
Me: I think Caldeira would excel as a second striker, but I don’t see the fit on this team.
Cam: Hold my copy of “Inverting the Pyramid”
Cam: Hold my copy of “Inverting the Pyramid”
August 23, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Me: I think Caldeira would excel as a second striker, but I don’t see the fit on this team.
Cam: Hold my copy of “Inverting the Pyramid”
Cam: Hold my copy of “Inverting the Pyramid”
According to reports from @andygreder.bsky.social as well as Florian Plettenberg, #MNUFC is a medical away from bringing in Sturm Graz's Maurice Malone.
He's not a sure bet by any means, but folks just scouting the box score are missing some key parts of his game.
callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
He's not a sure bet by any means, but folks just scouting the box score are missing some key parts of his game.
callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
Rumor Watch: Maurice Malone
You know those old superhero comic book or cartoon episodes where some hapless side character found themselves hogtied to a cartoonishly large bomb with an oversized timer counting down to their doom?...
callupastorm.com
August 22, 2026 at 1:55 PM
According to reports from @andygreder.bsky.social as well as Florian Plettenberg, #MNUFC is a medical away from bringing in Sturm Graz's Maurice Malone.
He's not a sure bet by any means, but folks just scouting the box score are missing some key parts of his game.
callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
He's not a sure bet by any means, but folks just scouting the box score are missing some key parts of his game.
callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
I don't think anyone is a villain here, but the reality remains: Minnesota United needs more money. In the end, this may be a move that makes both teams better in the long run.
In the short run? Well... Good luck, Hank!
callupastorm.com/kahled-el-ah...
In the short run? Well... Good luck, Hank!
callupastorm.com/kahled-el-ah...
Kahled El-Ahmad Leaves the Lakes, Heads for El Tree
Well, this may explain some of the Loons’ irritating inaction so far this window.
By now you have assuredly heard/seen/read that Minnesota United is parting company with their chief soccer officer...
callupastorm.com
August 21, 2026 at 5:11 AM
I don't think anyone is a villain here, but the reality remains: Minnesota United needs more money. In the end, this may be a move that makes both teams better in the long run.
In the short run? Well... Good luck, Hank!
callupastorm.com/kahled-el-ah...
In the short run? Well... Good luck, Hank!
callupastorm.com/kahled-el-ah...
Look, I'm not going to tell you things are good for the Loons right now BUT:
The most recent player they've been connected to is Maurice Malone. His middle name is Maximillian.
Maurice
Maximillian
Malone
3M
Honestly, too bad they're not #MNUFC's shirt sponsor instead of Target!
The most recent player they've been connected to is Maurice Malone. His middle name is Maximillian.
Maurice
Maximillian
Malone
3M
Honestly, too bad they're not #MNUFC's shirt sponsor instead of Target!
August 21, 2026 at 1:49 AM
Look, I'm not going to tell you things are good for the Loons right now BUT:
The most recent player they've been connected to is Maurice Malone. His middle name is Maximillian.
Maurice
Maximillian
Malone
3M
Honestly, too bad they're not #MNUFC's shirt sponsor instead of Target!
The most recent player they've been connected to is Maurice Malone. His middle name is Maximillian.
Maurice
Maximillian
Malone
3M
Honestly, too bad they're not #MNUFC's shirt sponsor instead of Target!
I’ll hopefully get thoughts up tonight, but Jon’s very much echo my own (and are more clearly articulated!)
Everyone's always focused on the next game, but the negative narrative for #MNUFC is impossible to ignore.
The negative Loons narrative is impossible to ignore
One of the more difficult parts of sportswriting is trying to fit single, discrete events into a larger narrative arc. It's why we write so often about streaks and runs; it makes every particular even...
www.jonmarthaler.com
August 20, 2026 at 9:29 PM
I’ll hopefully get thoughts up tonight, but Jon’s very much echo my own (and are more clearly articulated!)
Imagine enjoying Minnesota United. Couldn’t be me. Is not fucking me.
August 20, 2026 at 1:33 AM
Imagine enjoying Minnesota United. Couldn’t be me. Is not fucking me.
callupastorm.com/more-than-a-...
I started picking through the available free agents and found a very intriguing option. He seems more likely to go to Germany, but #MNUFC should absolutely be calling his agent.
I started picking through the available free agents and found a very intriguing option. He seems more likely to go to Germany, but #MNUFC should absolutely be calling his agent.
More Than a Teardrop on the Fire: Ryotaro Ito Would Give Minnesota a Massive Attack
Last summer, one of the players connected to Minnesota at the very end of the transfer window was Billal Brahimi, a Nice player on loan to Belgium’s Sint-Truiden. I was hopeful he’d come to Minnesota ...
callupastorm.com
August 17, 2026 at 2:14 AM
callupastorm.com/more-than-a-...
I started picking through the available free agents and found a very intriguing option. He seems more likely to go to Germany, but #MNUFC should absolutely be calling his agent.
I started picking through the available free agents and found a very intriguing option. He seems more likely to go to Germany, but #MNUFC should absolutely be calling his agent.
callupastorm.com/no-longer-a-...
Writing this piece definitely tempered my expectations for AZ Jackson, but I think I understand the move a lot better now.
#MNUFC can't break down low blocks, and while Jackson isn't going to do that single-handedly, he's brings a new look to the left side.
Writing this piece definitely tempered my expectations for AZ Jackson, but I think I understand the move a lot better now.
#MNUFC can't break down low blocks, and while Jackson isn't going to do that single-handedly, he's brings a new look to the left side.
No Longer a Prodigy, Can AZ Jackson Be a Firestarter for Minnesota United?
When Minnesota sold Aziel (AZ) Jackson in the winter of 2022, fans were disappointed.
When Minnesota reacquired Aziel (AZ) Jackson in the summer of 2026, fans were disappointed.
Damned if you d...
callupastorm.com
August 15, 2026 at 7:37 PM
callupastorm.com/no-longer-a-...
Writing this piece definitely tempered my expectations for AZ Jackson, but I think I understand the move a lot better now.
#MNUFC can't break down low blocks, and while Jackson isn't going to do that single-handedly, he's brings a new look to the left side.
Writing this piece definitely tempered my expectations for AZ Jackson, but I think I understand the move a lot better now.
#MNUFC can't break down low blocks, and while Jackson isn't going to do that single-handedly, he's brings a new look to the left side.
"Ethan Bristow’s production in Nectarios Triantis’ minutes is the median outcome for Minnesota’s summer transfer business over the last five windows. I have said some mean things about the Loons, but as usual, nothing is crueler than the truth."
callupastorm.com/the-tick-toc...
callupastorm.com/the-tick-toc...
The Tick-Tock of the Clock is Painful: Is Minnesota United's 2026 Already a Lost Season?
Minnesota United has 48 points available to them over the rest of the season. I don’t even know how to guess at how many they’ll actually get.
At their current 1.3 PPG, the Loons would add just 16...
callupastorm.com
August 15, 2026 at 2:31 AM
"Ethan Bristow’s production in Nectarios Triantis’ minutes is the median outcome for Minnesota’s summer transfer business over the last five windows. I have said some mean things about the Loons, but as usual, nothing is crueler than the truth."
callupastorm.com/the-tick-toc...
callupastorm.com/the-tick-toc...
First time the Loons have scored multiple goals since May 2
First time they scored three in a half since Sept. 13 of last year against San Diego.
First time they scored three in a half since Sept. 13 of last year against San Diego.
August 12, 2026 at 2:46 AM
First time the Loons have scored multiple goals since May 2
First time they scored three in a half since Sept. 13 of last year against San Diego.
First time they scored three in a half since Sept. 13 of last year against San Diego.
Not an eye-popping love, but a solid one if the price is right.
AZ’s knowledge of the league would help him make an impact yet this summer, which many signings do not. Reminds me of Ismael Tajouri-Schradi coming in in 2023.
AZ’s knowledge of the league would help him make an impact yet this summer, which many signings do not. Reminds me of Ismael Tajouri-Schradi coming in in 2023.
Confirmed: #MNUFC pursuing reunion with Aziel (AZ) Jackson, but terms with his Poland club Jagiellonia Białystok are still being worked on, @pioneerpress.bsky.social source said Friday. Will Hanson had connection first.
Context: Jackson is NOT one of the transfer targets I reported on Thursday.
Context: Jackson is NOT one of the transfer targets I reported on Thursday.
August 7, 2026 at 2:51 PM
Not an eye-popping love, but a solid one if the price is right.
AZ’s knowledge of the league would help him make an impact yet this summer, which many signings do not. Reminds me of Ismael Tajouri-Schradi coming in in 2023.
AZ’s knowledge of the league would help him make an impact yet this summer, which many signings do not. Reminds me of Ismael Tajouri-Schradi coming in in 2023.
Good news: The Loons finally got connected to a potential transfer!
Bad news: His team doesn't want to sell him and it's getting ugly!
Callum McCowatt isn't going to knock anyone's socks off, but he'd be a solid addition...if he's ever allowed to leave Denmark.
callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
Bad news: His team doesn't want to sell him and it's getting ugly!
Callum McCowatt isn't going to knock anyone's socks off, but he'd be a solid addition...if he's ever allowed to leave Denmark.
callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
Rumor Watch: Callum McCowatt
One thing that didn’t change when Adrian Heath departed Minnesota United’s front office was the team’s preference to play transfer dealings very, VERY close to the vest.
The team believes – and no...
callupastorm.com
August 3, 2026 at 2:19 AM
Good news: The Loons finally got connected to a potential transfer!
Bad news: His team doesn't want to sell him and it's getting ugly!
Callum McCowatt isn't going to knock anyone's socks off, but he'd be a solid addition...if he's ever allowed to leave Denmark.
callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
Bad news: His team doesn't want to sell him and it's getting ugly!
Callum McCowatt isn't going to knock anyone's socks off, but he'd be a solid addition...if he's ever allowed to leave Denmark.
callupastorm.com/rumor-watch-...
Every veteran sports media person will tell you the very best time to drop a blog on a complex topic is 11:20pm on a Friday night.
So here you go! callupastorm.com/how-did-the-...
So here you go! callupastorm.com/how-did-the-...
How Did The Loons Get Here? More Importantly, How Do They Get Out? – Call Up A Storm
It’s worth noting that some of the issues from that won’t persist. The Loons struggled to get back-to-front when they recovered the ball in their defensive third, something Nectarios Triantis – recovering from surgery, but back in full training – excels at.
callupastorm.com
August 1, 2026 at 4:20 AM
Every veteran sports media person will tell you the very best time to drop a blog on a complex topic is 11:20pm on a Friday night.
So here you go! callupastorm.com/how-did-the-...
So here you go! callupastorm.com/how-did-the-...
Per @americansocceranalysis.com, no player named Tomas or Tomás recorded a positive g+ in the first half of the MLS season. #Analysis
July 21, 2026 at 1:46 AM
Per @americansocceranalysis.com, no player named Tomas or Tomás recorded a positive g+ in the first half of the MLS season. #Analysis
Reposted by Call Up A Storm
Excellent tifo from @timbersarmy.org & @tacovertops.bsky.social ahead of kickoff.
“No Caps, No Cascadia” #SaveTheCaps
“No Caps, No Cascadia” #SaveTheCaps
July 17, 2026 at 2:44 AM
Excellent tifo from @timbersarmy.org & @tacovertops.bsky.social ahead of kickoff.
“No Caps, No Cascadia” #SaveTheCaps
“No Caps, No Cascadia” #SaveTheCaps
Reposted by Call Up A Storm
We're excited to welcome new @mnufc.com CEO Christina Hennington to the club!
She joins the team at a pivotal point. We're looking forward to seeing how she builds on the strong foundations that have already been laid and puts her own stamp on the future.
She joins the team at a pivotal point. We're looking forward to seeing how she builds on the strong foundations that have already been laid and puts her own stamp on the future.
July 17, 2026 at 2:25 AM
We're excited to welcome new @mnufc.com CEO Christina Hennington to the club!
She joins the team at a pivotal point. We're looking forward to seeing how she builds on the strong foundations that have already been laid and puts her own stamp on the future.
She joins the team at a pivotal point. We're looking forward to seeing how she builds on the strong foundations that have already been laid and puts her own stamp on the future.