cassie 💖
@cassiemartino.bsky.social
i’m here, i’m clinically insane, and i’m ready to Post
LOSERRRRRRRRR fights are what make sports fun!!!!
While still relatively low, professional sports has to have the highest possibility percentage of fisticuffs breaking out at your workplace. Never seen one single haymaker thrown in any office or film set or even restaurant kitchen I’ve worked at. Grow up, NASCAR. Talk it out.
good television
September 20, 2026 at 3:27 AM
LOSERRRRRRRRR fights are what make sports fun!!!!
Reposted by cassie 💖
this post has become a meme but it is objectively true. Osama should have hooped instead of tryna kill people. Terry Rozier was right to say it
September 11, 2026 at 3:54 PM
this post has become a meme but it is objectively true. Osama should have hooped instead of tryna kill people. Terry Rozier was right to say it
Reposted by cassie 💖
25 years
September 11, 2026 at 9:09 AM
25 years
Reposted by cassie 💖
Reposted by cassie 💖
hey, I was born in the 80s or 90s and I'm looking for a morally acceptable way to continue to like Harry Potter?? you see, I have this special condition where I just... stopped. somewhere along the way, i let the growth inside me die and i gnawed a hole in the past, and there i sit, and there i rot
September 2, 2026 at 10:47 PM
hey, I was born in the 80s or 90s and I'm looking for a morally acceptable way to continue to like Harry Potter?? you see, I have this special condition where I just... stopped. somewhere along the way, i let the growth inside me die and i gnawed a hole in the past, and there i sit, and there i rot
Reposted by cassie 💖
it should have been illegal for dolly parton to die
August 25, 2026 at 6:06 PM
it should have been illegal for dolly parton to die
Reposted by cassie 💖
Reposted by cassie 💖
every time i see the words "back to school" a small part of my brain worries it's for me, that i have to go back to school for some reason
August 15, 2026 at 10:07 PM
every time i see the words "back to school" a small part of my brain worries it's for me, that i have to go back to school for some reason
Reposted by cassie 💖
Reposted by cassie 💖
Your food processor has a chute that fits your dick. Should you?
ChatGPT now has a space for sharing medical records.
Should you?
Should you?
ChatGPT now has a space for sharing medical records. Should you?
OpenAI announced a dedicated space in ChatGPT for sharing medical records, Health in ChatGPT. Health and AI experts lay out the pros and cons.
cbsn.ws
July 25, 2026 at 1:24 PM
Your food processor has a chute that fits your dick. Should you?
Reposted by cassie 💖
trust me bro, my love for you will still be strong after the boys of summer have gone
July 23, 2026 at 12:16 PM
trust me bro, my love for you will still be strong after the boys of summer have gone
florio spewing bullshit in an article that has my sister's middle school math teacher in the thumbnail. happy packers preseason to all who celebrate!!!
If the Packers ever decide that their current ownership structure is keeping them from competing with the other 31 franchises, there's an easy way to solve the problem, if the corporation is willing to do it.
Packers have an ownership emergency option, if they'd ever need to use it
The corporation could be dissolved and replaced with an expansion franchise.
www.nbcsports.com
July 23, 2026 at 2:10 AM
florio spewing bullshit in an article that has my sister's middle school math teacher in the thumbnail. happy packers preseason to all who celebrate!!!
right after my ear stopped ringing from a shot exploding directly next to it, I immediately pulled the Adam Savage “am I missing an eyebrow???”
sister almost got her shit blown smoove off by an exploding roman candle and we almost set the front yard on fire but hey. fabulous Fourth of July as usual
July 5, 2026 at 6:19 AM
right after my ear stopped ringing from a shot exploding directly next to it, I immediately pulled the Adam Savage “am I missing an eyebrow???”
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happy birthday america
July 4, 2026 at 10:07 PM
happy birthday america
Reposted by cassie 💖
PHOEBE BRIDGERS: and what *I'M* saying is that pre-snap motion has become such a staple of Shanahan Tree coaching schemes that modern defenses have fully adapted by filling any potential leverage gaps
ANDY REID: (nodding while eating a big bowl of spaghetti)
ANDY REID: (nodding while eating a big bowl of spaghetti)
July 3, 2026 at 11:59 PM
PHOEBE BRIDGERS: and what *I'M* saying is that pre-snap motion has become such a staple of Shanahan Tree coaching schemes that modern defenses have fully adapted by filling any potential leverage gaps
ANDY REID: (nodding while eating a big bowl of spaghetti)
ANDY REID: (nodding while eating a big bowl of spaghetti)
oh I just know it’s HOT AS HELL. IN PHILADEL. PHIA
At the site where the vote to declare independence was declared 250 years ago today.
July 2, 2026 at 7:12 PM
oh I just know it’s HOT AS HELL. IN PHILADEL. PHIA
Reposted by cassie 💖
my dad wanted a son, but when he got twin girls instead, i suspect he just kinda shrugged, said “close enough”, stuck fishing rods in our hands and got to work. happy father’s day chico
June 21, 2026 at 10:10 PM
my dad wanted a son, but when he got twin girls instead, i suspect he just kinda shrugged, said “close enough”, stuck fishing rods in our hands and got to work. happy father’s day chico
Reposted by cassie 💖
Packers fans and their "worthless" stock certificates like...
June 5, 2026 at 4:15 PM
Packers fans and their "worthless" stock certificates like...
Reposted by cassie 💖
Eternally grateful to Stephen, Evie, my fellow writers, and the rest of the wonderful @colbertlateshow.bsky.social family. It was such a privilege to work with these amazing, hilarious people for the last 11 years. ❤️
May 22, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Eternally grateful to Stephen, Evie, my fellow writers, and the rest of the wonderful @colbertlateshow.bsky.social family. It was such a privilege to work with these amazing, hilarious people for the last 11 years. ❤️
Reposted by cassie 💖
Reposted by cassie 💖
All these firing ranges in this benighted country and yet no one can fucking aim
April 26, 2026 at 1:06 AM
All these firing ranges in this benighted country and yet no one can fucking aim
Reposted by cassie 💖
On Rudy Gobert COVID night???????
March 11th, 2020: Titans HC Mike Vrabel, Dianna Russini caught at a bar in NYC, via New York Post.
March 15th, 2020: Russini: "The Titans are not interested in Tom Brady, they are working hard to get a deal done with Ryan Tannehill."
March 15th, 2020: Russini: "The Titans are not interested in Tom Brady, they are working hard to get a deal done with Ryan Tannehill."
April 23, 2026 at 5:22 PM
On Rudy Gobert COVID night???????
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And a very happy 20 years of Neil banging out the tunes to all who observe
April 13, 2026 at 12:08 PM
And a very happy 20 years of Neil banging out the tunes to all who observe
Reposted by cassie 💖
NGL they picked a great time to be as far from Earth as humanly possible
Astronautposting through it
April 7, 2026 at 7:20 PM
NGL they picked a great time to be as far from Earth as humanly possible