Cesar Sucio
@cesarsucio.bsky.social
Middle-aged Mexican American man working in Tech. Getting older, balder, and angrier every day. Likes: Silence.
People still fighting about Android vs iPhone when the real ones are asking for modern phones to be as good as they were 15 years ago, before the enshittification conquered all.
September 11, 2026 at 1:52 AM
People still fighting about Android vs iPhone when the real ones are asking for modern phones to be as good as they were 15 years ago, before the enshittification conquered all.
I tried to take pictures of the last eclipse and my Google Pixel 9 Pro added fake stars. Let's settle down a little bit. Nobody asked for this.
September 11, 2026 at 1:43 AM
I tried to take pictures of the last eclipse and my Google Pixel 9 Pro added fake stars. Let's settle down a little bit. Nobody asked for this.
I've never heard a Vampire Weekend song all the way through and I'll be damned if I start today.
September 7, 2026 at 6:54 AM
I've never heard a Vampire Weekend song all the way through and I'll be damned if I start today.
Reposted by Cesar Sucio
Cookie Monster surveys a bleak landscape of death. The earth is scorched, littered with charred bodies. Combing through the rubble, he whispers, “Cookie?”
August 15, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Cookie Monster surveys a bleak landscape of death. The earth is scorched, littered with charred bodies. Combing through the rubble, he whispers, “Cookie?”
Bartender tonight told me I look like a DJ and I'm not sure what to do with that.
August 15, 2026 at 5:42 AM
Bartender tonight told me I look like a DJ and I'm not sure what to do with that.
What is it about Home Depot that makes me immediately have to shit?
August 9, 2026 at 6:53 AM
What is it about Home Depot that makes me immediately have to shit?
At what age do my legs start getting dry, discolored, and scabby?
July 26, 2026 at 4:19 PM
At what age do my legs start getting dry, discolored, and scabby?
I never remember my dreams but last night I dreamt I'd bought a box of yellow jackets from Home Depot, placed it on a neighbor's doorstep, and shot at it from a distance, indiscriminately releasing hundreds of angry yellow jackets onto unsuspecting neighbors.
July 20, 2026 at 6:09 AM
I never remember my dreams but last night I dreamt I'd bought a box of yellow jackets from Home Depot, placed it on a neighbor's doorstep, and shot at it from a distance, indiscriminately releasing hundreds of angry yellow jackets onto unsuspecting neighbors.
Not Argentina
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!!
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!!
July 19, 2026 at 10:05 PM
Not Argentina
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!!
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!!
Just said "expresso" unintentionally and a great wave of shame washed over me.
July 18, 2026 at 1:26 AM
Just said "expresso" unintentionally and a great wave of shame washed over me.
Methamphetamine enthusiasts, flock cameras are a rich source of copper.
July 12, 2026 at 5:36 AM
Methamphetamine enthusiasts, flock cameras are a rich source of copper.
I always suspected Graham Platner was an undercover Republican.
July 10, 2026 at 5:03 AM
I always suspected Graham Platner was an undercover Republican.
Damn. Not a good time to be Mexican American.
Good thing I'm Norwegian!
LET'S GO NORWAAAAYYYYY
Good thing I'm Norwegian!
LET'S GO NORWAAAAYYYYY
July 7, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Damn. Not a good time to be Mexican American.
Good thing I'm Norwegian!
LET'S GO NORWAAAAYYYYY
Good thing I'm Norwegian!
LET'S GO NORWAAAAYYYYY
MEXICO....
NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!
NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!
July 6, 2026 at 3:09 AM
MEXICO....
NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!
NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO NORWAAAAYYYYY!!!!
Haaland, what a legend.
Haaland, what a legend.
July 5, 2026 at 10:10 PM
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO NORWAAAAYYYYY!!!!
Haaland, what a legend.
Haaland, what a legend.
Reposted by Cesar Sucio
i like how every time norway scores the guys get a ride on Haaland
July 5, 2026 at 9:54 PM
i like how every time norway scores the guys get a ride on Haaland
Imagine...
If it happened today
On the Fourth of July
On the United States' 250th
What a celebration there'd be
Not just here
But all around the world
If it happened today
On the Fourth of July
On the United States' 250th
What a celebration there'd be
Not just here
But all around the world
July 4, 2026 at 7:37 PM
Imagine...
If it happened today
On the Fourth of July
On the United States' 250th
What a celebration there'd be
Not just here
But all around the world
If it happened today
On the Fourth of July
On the United States' 250th
What a celebration there'd be
Not just here
But all around the world
Mexicans will call a beer "La Cerveza Mas Fina" and it's just Corona.
July 4, 2026 at 5:30 AM
Mexicans will call a beer "La Cerveza Mas Fina" and it's just Corona.
World Cup camera operators' favorite part of the game is the end so they can get that ultra close-up of players crying after a loss.
July 3, 2026 at 1:17 AM
World Cup camera operators' favorite part of the game is the end so they can get that ultra close-up of players crying after a loss.
LET'S FUCKING GO
USAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
USAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
July 2, 2026 at 2:08 AM
LET'S FUCKING GO
USAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
USAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
LET'S FUCKING GO
MEXICOOOOOOOO!!!!!
MEXICOOOOOOOO!!!!!
July 1, 2026 at 4:04 AM
LET'S FUCKING GO
MEXICOOOOOOOO!!!!!
MEXICOOOOOOOO!!!!!
For my high school homies that still think they're young, keep this in mind: Millennials are now in their forties.
June 27, 2026 at 12:59 AM
For my high school homies that still think they're young, keep this in mind: Millennials are now in their forties.
Reposted by Cesar Sucio
The world’s first trillionaire took away our Ebola response capacity, gave us screwworms, hollowed out our government so he could pay less taxes, and condemned millions of the world’s most vulnerable people to death.
June 13, 2026 at 6:57 AM
The world’s first trillionaire took away our Ebola response capacity, gave us screwworms, hollowed out our government so he could pay less taxes, and condemned millions of the world’s most vulnerable people to death.
Reposted by Cesar Sucio
i hope media executives are taking note of the tens of thousands of people who for several hours on a friday night have stayed glued to livestreams of scaffolding being built just so they could witness his name getting knocked off a building
June 13, 2026 at 3:10 AM
i hope media executives are taking note of the tens of thousands of people who for several hours on a friday night have stayed glued to livestreams of scaffolding being built just so they could witness his name getting knocked off a building
Reposted by Cesar Sucio
Nothing says “dying civilization” like gladiator fights at the capitol for the emperor’s amusement.
June 13, 2026 at 1:53 PM
Nothing says “dying civilization” like gladiator fights at the capitol for the emperor’s amusement.